Jezebel
--by Egon Starcollector
Chapter 1: Sickbed Musings
Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. If I make a penny off of this, there's something wrong.
PG for a forthcoming catfight.
Ah-CHOO!!!
Severus Snape was not a happy wizard. Poppy Pomfrey had just informed him that the one ailment no one had yet discovered either a spell or a potion to cure was a Muggle cold. He would simply have to wait it out.
Since the Pepper-Up Potion she'd given him to alleviate his symptoms had only upset his stomach, Snape was confined to his quarters for the duration.
Severus Snape was bored out of his mind.
He'd figured that one out after the third Origami Fluffy. He needed *something* to do. He was so bored he wanted to throw someone a Bar Mitzvah, except neither he nor any of the third years were Jewish. He wanted to do jumping jacks. He wanted to paint the ceiling glow-in-the-dark blue. He wanted to take square dancing lessons. He wanted to make modern art sculptures out of Muggle paper clips. He wanted to knit Flitwick a sweater--heck, he wanted to knit Flitwick a *house!* Never mind that he didn't know how to knit, he'd learn! He just needed something to occupy his time.
Snape hated being bored. It gave him time to worry--and that was just what he was doing. He wasn't worried about the state of his classes; he reluctantly conceded that Remus Lupin, the returning DADA professor, was a tolerable substitute. He wasn't worried that the house elves were going to knit him a horrid pair of socks, nevermind that they'd sent up nothing but chicken soup and orange juice *every* *single* *meal* since they'd learned of his affliction. He wasn't worried that Hogwarts would be invaded by basilisks and Dementors. He wasn't worried that his old master would take advantage of his weakened state to exact revenge upon Snape's person.
Well okay, he was a little worried about the socks.
No, imminent world catastrophes weren't bothering Severus Snape. What had him so worried--was Hermione Granger.
Now, it wasn't the girl herself. She was a brilliant young woman, and she seemed eminently capable of handling virtually anything life might throw her way. It was her love life that worried Snape.
Snape had always felt that one of his biggest flaws was a tendency to meddle. Though he tried to curb it, he could not seem to keep his nose out of other peoples' business. God knew it was a big enough nose for that, he reflected with a rueful chuckle. However, *that* was why he was worried about Miss Granger.
He had known for a long time--since about her first week at Hogwarts--that she fancied Harry Potter. Knew it, in fact, before she herself did. It was something in the way she looked at him that gave herself away. He also knew that deep down, Harry Potter fancied her as well. Unfortunately, Mr. Potter was not yet aware of that.
Potter was still infatuated with that Ravenclaw Cho Chang. She'd virtually ignored him last year when her boyfriend Cedric Diggory died--but now, she looked at Harry Potter the way a predator eyes a helpless rabbit.
Objectively, yes, Cho Chang was far prettier than Miss Granger. She was vibrant and intelligent, and she shared Potter's passion for Quidditch. But Snape knew that all she saw was the scar. The fame. Potter was a trophy to Cho Chang, nothing more.
Miss Granger had grown more attractive in her years at Hogwarts, but she would never be a ravishing beauty like Miss Chang. She was bookish and, though she still seemed to be a know-it-all, Snape suspected that deep down she was really quite shy. However, she had let down her guard around Harry Potter. She knew him better than he knew himself, and she was his constant friend despite his flaws. Potter was a trophy to Cho Chang--but he was the world and more to Hermione Granger.
Any man with a brain would have chosen Miss Granger in a heartbeat--but since when did boys of that age think with their brains, or even their hearts?
If Harry Potter dated Cho Chang, Miss Granger's heart would be broken--and so, ultimately, would young Mr. Potter's. He and Miss Granger belonged together; Severus Snape was wise enough to recognize Fate when he saw it in action.
Unfortunately, he'd heard a rumor that Potter intended to ask Miss Chang to the Fall Festival dance instead of Miss Granger. Snape could already see where this was going: Miss Granger crying her eyes out, Miss Chang leading Potter along and then likely throwing him over for someone else, Potter realizing his feelings for Miss Granger only to have her reject him.... He'd seen it all before. Severus Snape had learned a remarkable lot about romantic relationships simply by never having one. His conscious decision to remain permanently on the outside (painful though it had been, it was really for the best if there were no more Snape tyrants like his father) had put him in a perfect position to observe the mechanisms of the human heart...and he was a visual learner, after all.
No, no...Snape wasn't going to let these two young hearts be broken if he could avoid it. He would have to do something almost as soon as he resumed teaching.... Hmm...where was that recipe for the OneTruth Potion...?
"The return of Severus Snape, matchmaker," he chuckled softly. "They won't know what hit them." Ah-CHOO!
--by Egon Starcollector
Chapter 1: Sickbed Musings
Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. If I make a penny off of this, there's something wrong.
PG for a forthcoming catfight.
Ah-CHOO!!!
Severus Snape was not a happy wizard. Poppy Pomfrey had just informed him that the one ailment no one had yet discovered either a spell or a potion to cure was a Muggle cold. He would simply have to wait it out.
Since the Pepper-Up Potion she'd given him to alleviate his symptoms had only upset his stomach, Snape was confined to his quarters for the duration.
Severus Snape was bored out of his mind.
He'd figured that one out after the third Origami Fluffy. He needed *something* to do. He was so bored he wanted to throw someone a Bar Mitzvah, except neither he nor any of the third years were Jewish. He wanted to do jumping jacks. He wanted to paint the ceiling glow-in-the-dark blue. He wanted to take square dancing lessons. He wanted to make modern art sculptures out of Muggle paper clips. He wanted to knit Flitwick a sweater--heck, he wanted to knit Flitwick a *house!* Never mind that he didn't know how to knit, he'd learn! He just needed something to occupy his time.
Snape hated being bored. It gave him time to worry--and that was just what he was doing. He wasn't worried about the state of his classes; he reluctantly conceded that Remus Lupin, the returning DADA professor, was a tolerable substitute. He wasn't worried that the house elves were going to knit him a horrid pair of socks, nevermind that they'd sent up nothing but chicken soup and orange juice *every* *single* *meal* since they'd learned of his affliction. He wasn't worried that Hogwarts would be invaded by basilisks and Dementors. He wasn't worried that his old master would take advantage of his weakened state to exact revenge upon Snape's person.
Well okay, he was a little worried about the socks.
No, imminent world catastrophes weren't bothering Severus Snape. What had him so worried--was Hermione Granger.
Now, it wasn't the girl herself. She was a brilliant young woman, and she seemed eminently capable of handling virtually anything life might throw her way. It was her love life that worried Snape.
Snape had always felt that one of his biggest flaws was a tendency to meddle. Though he tried to curb it, he could not seem to keep his nose out of other peoples' business. God knew it was a big enough nose for that, he reflected with a rueful chuckle. However, *that* was why he was worried about Miss Granger.
He had known for a long time--since about her first week at Hogwarts--that she fancied Harry Potter. Knew it, in fact, before she herself did. It was something in the way she looked at him that gave herself away. He also knew that deep down, Harry Potter fancied her as well. Unfortunately, Mr. Potter was not yet aware of that.
Potter was still infatuated with that Ravenclaw Cho Chang. She'd virtually ignored him last year when her boyfriend Cedric Diggory died--but now, she looked at Harry Potter the way a predator eyes a helpless rabbit.
Objectively, yes, Cho Chang was far prettier than Miss Granger. She was vibrant and intelligent, and she shared Potter's passion for Quidditch. But Snape knew that all she saw was the scar. The fame. Potter was a trophy to Cho Chang, nothing more.
Miss Granger had grown more attractive in her years at Hogwarts, but she would never be a ravishing beauty like Miss Chang. She was bookish and, though she still seemed to be a know-it-all, Snape suspected that deep down she was really quite shy. However, she had let down her guard around Harry Potter. She knew him better than he knew himself, and she was his constant friend despite his flaws. Potter was a trophy to Cho Chang--but he was the world and more to Hermione Granger.
Any man with a brain would have chosen Miss Granger in a heartbeat--but since when did boys of that age think with their brains, or even their hearts?
If Harry Potter dated Cho Chang, Miss Granger's heart would be broken--and so, ultimately, would young Mr. Potter's. He and Miss Granger belonged together; Severus Snape was wise enough to recognize Fate when he saw it in action.
Unfortunately, he'd heard a rumor that Potter intended to ask Miss Chang to the Fall Festival dance instead of Miss Granger. Snape could already see where this was going: Miss Granger crying her eyes out, Miss Chang leading Potter along and then likely throwing him over for someone else, Potter realizing his feelings for Miss Granger only to have her reject him.... He'd seen it all before. Severus Snape had learned a remarkable lot about romantic relationships simply by never having one. His conscious decision to remain permanently on the outside (painful though it had been, it was really for the best if there were no more Snape tyrants like his father) had put him in a perfect position to observe the mechanisms of the human heart...and he was a visual learner, after all.
No, no...Snape wasn't going to let these two young hearts be broken if he could avoid it. He would have to do something almost as soon as he resumed teaching.... Hmm...where was that recipe for the OneTruth Potion...?
"The return of Severus Snape, matchmaker," he chuckled softly. "They won't know what hit them." Ah-CHOO!