Thanks for the great reviews of my first fanfic – Until Now (although a
sequel wasn't in my mind, I will try to please my reviewers!)
This is in answer to one of the other reviews to "try something a little more creative." I hope you like it!
Disclaimers: None Mine *sigh*
On with the story!
It had been 10 solar days since John Crichton had come up with the plan to attack Scorpius. Well, truth be told, it had only taken 7; the remaining 3 were taken up trying to convince his crewmates. Not all of them, just most of them. The plan, at best was flawed, at worse? Suicide, for him, not the others – he wouldn't put them at risk if it could be avoided, and this way, it could be. This was what his friends were concerned about. Aeryn and Crais had sided with him unconditionally, not out of feeling, he was sure of that. It was out of some kind of duty to the other John Crichton, the one who stolen then broken her heart. She had not objected to the plan, which made him feel even more dejected than he thought possible.
They had been searching all of that time for the new Gammak Base, for information on the Command Carrier all to no avail. It was then that John had decided to share his plan knowing they would have to at least consider it. He would surrender himself to Scorpius under the guise of working with him on the wormhole technology to defeat the Scarrens. In return, the peacekeepers would not track his friends again. They would no longer be fugitives, none of them. It was believable, to a point.
Captain Crais had sent out a peacekeeper beacon, it had replayed a message every half arn. It asked for a meeting with Scorpius from the fugitives of a Leviathan. No names were mentioned; they didn't know how much the Scarrens knew about John, the risk was too much. This way, they conceded, would be safer, if that was possible.
And this was how both Rygel and KA'Dargo came to be sitting in a café of some kind in a backwater planet that did not welcome peacekeepers, waiting for the half-breed they had tried quite successfully to avoid in the past. They were early. They had checked all escape routes available to them. Rygel was still not convinced of the plan. "At least we can eat while we negotiate Crichton's death with that abomination."
D'Argo grabbed Rygel's hand before the food could reach his mouth. "Do not start again! There is no other way. We have to go along with this. We will back him up!" His voice wavered between a growl and hyper-rage. He did not like the plan either, had tried - ineffectively to talk his friend out of it. When John had asked him for other suggestions, D'Argo had to admit defeat, something he very rarely did.
John Crichton, astronaut, lost human and depressed individual sat on his bunk in the huge ship that was circling the planet below while his friends effectively sold him out. He smiled without humour; at least Rygel had the decency to object. They wouldn't allow him to go with them, said it was because of the peacekeeper rule on the planet. He knew D'Argo had chosen that planet solely because of that, then John wouldn't be able to argue about going down. They had been through some tough times of late, but he knew he could trust D'Argo, knew he could count on his support which was exactly what he needed at this point in time.
"Ahh John, this is foolish, you're only doing this because of that tralk. She isn't worth dying for; your other self tried that and look what happened. Think John, think…."
"Can it Harvey, I really don't need your impersonation of Dr Ruth. You haven't got a clue what you're talking about."
Chianna walked in to his cell and sat at the side of the bed looking worried. She didn't mention what she had heard "Have you two spoken yet?"
He eyed her carefully "Yeah, all the time, I ask her a question, she answers."
"You know what I mean John, playing dumb s' not as cute as it used to be." She was teasing, trying to get him to open up.
"Look Chi, I can't think about that right now. I have to keep focussed on the plan. You know what they say, emotions can cause untold problems in the face of battles."
She poked him hard in the ribs "They say that! You never did! You don't think that way, peacekeepers do and you're not a peacekeeper!"
He took a sharp intake of breath, both from the pain in his rib and the venom in her voice. "Sometimes I think they're right though. If I hadn't taught her about emotion she wouldn't be in pain now would she?"
"No she wouldn't, she would be cold, untrustworthy and probably dead. You saved her life more times than I can count and you did that out of love. You did it for her; you did it for all of us! Don't regret that John, you made her life better."
He laughed "Better? Better for who? Better for her or better for me? Maybe I was the callous one, the cold hearted one. Maybe I just loved her because she was the only one here. So I wouldn't feel alone…"
She didn't let him finish. She grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a sitting position and kissed him hard on the lips. He pulled away quickly "What the hell?"
"See! She wasn't the only one there John; you just couldn't see anyone else because you loved, love her so much. Don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself, it doesn't become you. You love her because of who she was; you love her in spite of what she was. You pulled down the wall that they had built. You can do it again – if you want to that is."
He smiled slightly "When did you become so grown up?"
"Well, it had to happen. Just don't tell anyone okay? I like that the way you all treat me – well most of the time! So what are you going to do? You need to talk to her before you go through with this farbot plan of yours."
"I know, how can I though? She wont look at me, hell she won't even be in the same room as me if it can be avoided!"
"You'll find away, you always did." With that she got up and left feeling her work here was done. She only hoped Crais was doing as good a job with Aeryn.
She was cleaning her pulse rifle with peacekeeper precision when he made his presence felt. "You have something to say." It was a statement rather than a question.
Crais cleared his throat. He stood at the only exit route in the room. She would have to get past him if she didn't want to listen to what he had to say. "You need to talk to him."
"I don't need to do anything I don't want to do."
"You need to decide your feelings for him and let him know one way or the other."
"Who are you to tell me about feelings? Peacekeepers do not have feelings remember? We are trained to avoid them."
He sighed. They were getting nowhere. "You once told me that you are no longer a peacekeeper has that changed?"
"No, but now I understand why they did not want us to experience these emotions. They create problems, they allow you to become unfocused, to endanger crew."
He remained still, her back to him. "That is very true but not on all levels. Officer Sun, Aeryn, I envy you. I would not have believed these emotions could make a person better, stronger, but having witnessed it first hand I can only say that you have become something so much more than a trained fighter."
She turned looking bitter. Reliving the memory of the last time she had heard that. "More? Yes I have become more, but why does becoming more have to hurt so frelling much?" She rose to her feet and began to walk past him.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back roughly. Instinct told her to block the move but the look on his face told her to remain still. "I am going to say this only once Aeryn so I suggest you listen very carefully. He is going on this mission to finish a job that he effectively started himself. He relies on things that we do not. He relies on hope, love and trust. We rely on guns, training and battle plans. If he has no hope, there will be no reason for him to return from this mission alive. He is going to destroy the only means of getting to his home planet. Who do you think he is doing that for? The good of the universe? A universe that is not even his?" He paused to allow the information to sink in. "He needs to know how you feel Aeryn, he needs to know he can trust you, he deserves that much do you not think?"
She shrugged her arm loose and stared at him defiantly "And what if I tell him that I do not love him, that I will never love him as I did the other, that I wanted to die just to be with him? Would he have a better chance of coming back alive then? It is better that I say nothing."
"They were one Aeryn, you know that, you tested their DNA, you spent time with both of them. They think the same, they act the same, they were the same! Do not try to deny what is in your heart. If you are afraid of loving him because you now know the pain of losing him, tell him that, he of all people should understand." With that he walked from the room leaving her stunned at his perception.
Scorpios arrived alone. The surprise must have been evident on both Rygel and D'Argo's face. It was short lived "My guards are 4 metras away in a transport carrier. They will be here within 200 microts if I so wish it and all exits will be blocked. To not underestimate me."
Both nodded and gestured for the half-breed to sit in the booth opposite them. D'Argo had a clear view of the main door – just in case.
"Well, well, well, I must say, you did manage to catch my attention with the beacon. Is Crichton near by?"
"No, he is out of harms way. It seems that you underestimate us." D'Argo kept his voice low and controlled.
Scorpios nodded. The smile was forced. "So tell me, why was I called? What do you want?"
"It is more a question of what you want."
"You know what I seek, the implant is useless without Crichton. I need him and I doubt that he will give himself up. So again, what do you want?" He was tiring of the conversation.
"John doesn't want the wormhole technology to fall into the wrong hands. He feels that the peacekeepers will use it more wisely than the Scarrens, therefore he has a proposition that will be to your liking." D'Argo watched as the information registered, the false smile was replaced with a greedy one.
"I am listening" He could hardly conceal the excitement in his voice.
"He will work for you, help you unlock the codes, once completed he will be released unharmed. In return we will have safe passage. All our crimes will be forfeited. We will no longer be fugitives - none of us. That is all he asks."
"How very commendable of him. And you are willing to allow your friend to sacrifice himself? In the past you have gone to great lengths to rescue him and see that no harm bestows him. Why should I believe that this would be no different?"
They knew he would be suspicious. This was the part that D'Argo didn't like. It would be up to Rygel to convince him. Somehow they knew that he would be more believable at this point. "Look, he doesn't really have much choice. The Scarrens are on to him because of the Bam Ba Da incident and you, well you never give up do you? He is cornered and he knows it. Do what you have to ensure that he does not run, or that we will not rescue him."
Scorpius sat back and eyed the pair. Their signatures told him they were telling the truth, yet still, he knew that something was not quite right. He smiled again. He had the perfect solution. He would call their bluff. When he told them about the Yensch bracelets he would gage their reaction. Check the signature heat and then he would be sure if this was their real motive.
"Very well. I have been working on several new devices and I am eager to try one out. This will be the perfect opportunity."
D'Argo growled again "I will not hand him over as part of an experiment. You have done enough of that in the past. He will not be harmed do you understand?"
"On the contrary KA'Dargo, this device will ensure that he is not harmed – to a certain extent. Allow me to explain."
He must have fallen asleep, because when he woke he found Aeryn sitting in the corner of his cell sleeping soundly. He watched her for a few microts blinking hard to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. She hadn't spoken to him in days, well not really and yet here she was, in his room. Was it him she came to see or the other one? He didn't dwell, just lay there watching, wondering if he should wake her. He rose from the bunk and tentatively made his way over to where she sat. No movement. He carefully picked her up and lay her on his bunk. He sat in her position watching her, and then rose and headed for the shower before he did something that they would both regret.
She woke suddenly and bewildered. Where was she? Then she remembered. Frell! She had argued with Crais and stormed off to her quarters, passing his on the way. She had stopped noticing that he was asleep, looking so peaceful and innocent. She couldn't help herself, she felt compelled to watch him. She had moved inside his cell, he always left the door open, still trusting after all this time. She inhaled the scent of the room, his scent. She started to cry then, quietly, and uncontrollably. Her legs had suddenly felt heavy due to the lack of sleep and she slid down the wall. She thought she had only closed her eyes for a microt - clearly not. She debated what to do. He had obviously woken and moved her to his bed; the shower was on so it would be safe for her to leave. She sat up and made to move off the bed. Too late, their eyes locked, as he appeared from the shower cubicle looking wet, nervous and completely adorable.
She shook the thought away. She felt trapped and it was all her own doing. She didn't know what to say, but she needn't have worried. As always, he sensed her discomfort and tried to inject some humour into the strained silence.
"There are comfier places to sleep you know." He smiled and kept the eye contact, daring her to break it.
She did, couldn't bear to look into the pools of blue that reflected his soul. "I…. you…I…"she floundered, then composed herself "I am sorry I should not be here."
He recognised that line, looked hard at her face – no emotion. Was she testing him? Checking to see if he was who she thought he was? "It's exactly where you should be. I love you." He was watching her intently, noticed the hint of a smile.
"I should leave now" Not the reply he had hoped for, but it was a start. "Sorry for the intrusion"
He moved in front of her, the second person in as many arns to block her exit. "Aeryn wait, is there anything you want to say? Is there anything you want to talk about?" He knew he was pushing her, but he didn't have the time that his counterpart had suggested. She tried to move past him but she was losing herself in his stare. He looked away first unsure if he could continue otherwise. "Well I do. I'm sorry, but I have to say this or I'm gonna go crazy – again. I cant pretend to know what your going through, to understand what your going through but I do know what its like to lose someone you love, to lose your one constant, your one anchor. I have been there Aeryn, I lost you and I know how scared and lonely and completely useless I felt. I wanted to die, I….." His voice trailed as he looked up at her. He eyes were beginning to water. "Ohh, please, don't cry." He started to raise his hand to her face and she instinctively backed away. "I'm sorry ba…Aeryn, go, just go." And with that he turned his back, unable to watch the once strong kick ass peacekeeper cry at mere words, his words.
She turned and bolted. He shook his head and sat down on the bed. There was nothing he could do. He had tried. He didn't know what she felt; she probably didn't know what she felt. He would have to accept the fact that his twin? Copy? Whatever, was the one that she loved, he was just a painful reminder. Maybe this mission was a blessing in disguise. His comm. blasted to life interrupting his train of thoughts.
"Commander, the transport pod is docking. KA'Dargo has requested everyone's presence in command"
"Thanks Pilot" He pursed his lips and walked slowly to command wondering if his nemesis had taken the bait.
He was the last to enter - some things never change. He looked at everyone in turn - their faces grim.
"Well what gives?"
"What? Gives? What the yotz are you on about Crichton? We are here to discuss what was said on the planet." Rygel was impatient - no he was nervous which in turn made John uneasy.
"It's just a …never mind. Hit me with it, tell me what went on."
D'Argo looked solemn "I have good news and bad news John" It relieved some of the tension John felt. This made him smile; he remembered the last time that line was used – on the Royal planet. His humour was rubbing off on the usually serious Luxan.
"Hit me with the good news D"
"Scorpius has taken the bait and at meeting has been scheduled in 2 days. However, he is very suspicious and as such, he has a device that you will have to wear."
John chewed his lip in the hope that it would not let the others see the apprehension. They wouldn't need an excuse to abandon his plan. "Uh, huh, I'm guessing that was the bad news? Lay it on me."
"It is a Yensch bracelet, it…." Before he could finish both Aeryn and Crais took a sharp intake of breath. All eyes turned to them.
"I take it you two know about this peacekeeper toy?" John tried to keep his voice level and the critters in check.
"We should not go ahead with this plan. There has to be another way." Crais said, looking at D'Argo and not John, it fuelled the critters.
"Okay Crais, explain." John moved to face the ex-peacekeeper but it was Aeryn who spoke.
"It is, was used in peacekeeper training. It is a device that was banned due to the level of cruelty and confusion it could inflict. Both parties wore the bracelet and it was used to test pain tolerance. Pain was inflicted on a trainee. Their counterpart would feel the pain he felt. If one, for example used a blade to inflict a wound on them self, they would bleed, feel the pain, but so would the other, although no apparent wound would be visible. It was with drawn, as when separated, peacekeepers could not determine the extent of an injury until it was too late."
"Peacekeepers withdrawing a weapon because of cruelty? This is not good." It was all he could think of at that moment. He did not like the look on both peacekeepers faces. "Wait, it would work both ways? Ah, clever."
Everyone looked at him with mixed expressions. It was Chiana who broke the silence.
"Are you farbot? That means Scorpius can inflict pain and you feel it! We cant kill him, we cant even injury him without risk to you. It's insane. You can't agree to this." Feeling that she was fighting a loosing battle she added "Come on guys tell him!"
John moved over to her and gave her a hug. To Aeryn's surprise she felt a pang of… jealousy? She knew the two had become close in her absence. That he had turned to her for conversation. What else had he turned to her for? She gave a dismissive shake of her head. She had no right to question his relationship. "It's okay Pip, look at it another way. Scorpy can't hurt me without hurting himself. That's gotta be good for something don't it?"
She wasn't convinced, but he continued, "Look, there is no other way. We have been through this a thousand times. It'll be fine, trust me." With that he left before anybody could object.
The remaining crew sat in silence for a few microts after John had left. Again, Aeryn spoke first echoing John's words. "This is not good. Scorpius would not just rely on the bracelets. They can be altered and Crichton does not have the same pain threshold as peacekeepers. The range on the bracelets has never been recorded. Once it is activated, only Scorpius can disable it, which I doubt he would do. That means when we get him free the bracelet will still be operable unless we find someone to render it inoperative. We cannot injure or kill Scorpios as that will effectively do the same to Crichton!"
The others looked at her with incomprehensible expressions. "And why would you care anyway? You don't even acknowledge the fact that he's alive now." Jool didn't know Aeryn as well as the others. If she did, she would have realised the gravity of her statement and the consequences. Aeryn closed the distance between them and grabbed the interon around the neck. With her free hand she raised her pulse rifle and jammed it into her neck.
"Do not interfere with my life. Do not try to give me advice and do not address me unless I speak to you first. Is that clear?" Her voice was dangerously low. Jool could only nod. Satisfied Aeryn dropped her and walked from the room.
"Ahhh, not a good move Princess. Next time just shoot yourself – it'll be quicker and less painful." Chiana was mocking her, as usual.
"I thought you said she was no longer a peacekeeper? The bitch needed to be told. I spoke the truth!"
Aeryn sat on her bed, knees hugged to chest. She should have controlled herself better. She should not have shown emotion of any kind. Frell, who was she kidding? Most of those peacekeeper traits had long since gone. She was still a fighter, but she was very different. What did he do to her? This human from another world, how could he have changed her so much then left her to deal with the cost of showing, feeling, experiencing love? But he hadn't left her had he? Only part of him had left, part of him was still here and that's what hurt. Knowing he was here, yet not. She hit the mattress trying to vent her frustration then decided on a better way. She jumped to her feet and headed for the cargo bay. A workout would help her clear her mind.
Chiana walked into the training area, she knew he would be there. Sure enough, he was training – again. He was taking his anger and fear on the red punch bag. "Hey, what did Rygel do to deserve that? Hey Rygel are you okay?" She stroked the red bag feigning concern before he had the chance to hit it again. He laughed and dropped to his knees.
"I swear you get more like me every day Pip."
"I most certainly do not, I am very feminine – not that you would ever notice." She pouted and sat down opposite him. "Talk to me."
He laughed again "There you go again! What would you like me to talk about?"
She pushed him hard and he fell backwards still smiling. She straddled him and proceeded to tickle him. He was breathless with laughter "Its so good to hear you laugh its been a long time." Her hands moved lower.
"Instinctively he grabbed her wrists. "Chi…." She sat back bringing him with her.
"Frell" One word but his smile grew wider.
"You wish darlin." He let go of her wrists and began to stand but she pulled him back down. "Chi, this is not a good idea…"
"I meant what I said about talking John. Tell me what's on your mind. The one person that you usually share with isn't listening right now so let me help."
He looked at her debating, choosing his words carefully. "I admit that I'm more than a little nervous about the plan. If I tell them that they might not go through with it and we have to go through with it. It's the only way. I want this finished and I want Scorpy dead. I can achieve it with or without the aid of a bracelet."
Her eyes widened. "If you kill him, then you die John, the bracelet will destroy you." She paused, realisation dawning. "You don't plan on coming back from this mission do you?" He lowered his eyes "Do you?" She shouted lifting his head.
He smiled sadly "I don't think its gonna be an option Pip. Scorpy wont let me leave despite the agreement. He needs me; he'll never give up. I know that without Harvey here telling me every 2 microts. If I'm not in the picture, you, all of you will be in the clear. He wont have any other reason to come after you guys anymore."
"I wont let you do this. You can't do this! You can't trade your life for everyone else, it's not fair!" Her voice faltered as a sob escaped her lips.
"It's okay Pip, hey…" he wiped away one of her tears. "I did some good things. I'm proud of my life." It was then that they heard the gasp from the shadows.
Aeryn Sun stepped out. She had intended to train but he was already there. She had intended to walk back out but that would mean passing Chiana. She had intended to stay the hell away from him. But those words, spoken from her John, from this John, from one John it broke her so-called good intensions as well as her resolve.
Chiana stood quickly. "This is your fault! If he had something to come back to he wouldn't be thinking this way. You have taken everything that was good away from him and not content with that you go and break his heart as well. You are a true peacekeeper – it is your breeding. You know, I nearly believed Rygel when he told me how you were on Talyn, like a different person he said. What a pile of dren, you…."
He didn't let her finish his voice was low but forceful. "That's enough Chiana. You don't know what she's going through, you can't understand." She whirled round to face him both she and Aeryn spoke at the same time.
"Why do you always defend her…"
"I do not need you to defend me…"
He sat back smiling at the irony of it. "Well at least you both agree on something." Both women turned on their heel and began to walk away. Aeryn paused at the cargo doors. He watched her wondering indeed what she was going through. And how he had managed to piss her off yet again. He was startled to see her turn back and stride purposely over to him and hold out her hand. He frowned not sure what to do.
"What? You want me standing so it'll be an even fight?" He tried to make it sound like a joke.
She smiled slightly. "It could never be fair – I am the superior fighter, but you might make a worthy opponent. It would be nice to train with a real person other than Rygel." She gestured to the punch bag then flicked her wrist to show that she was still waiting. He smiled, reassured at her attempt to make humour of the situation and took the offered hand.
They fought well together. Each knew the others move. Each block was counter blocked. He was enjoying the contact, even if it was unarmed combat. "You have trained frequently while I was away." It was a statement.
"Well there wasn't much else to do. So what were you up to? Have any adventures of your own?"
"Some." Dam back to one words answers. He pressed on.
"And one of them would involve a Budong"
She stopped mid punch but John didn't anticipate the move. The palm of his hand connected to her face before he realised that she hadn't blocked the move. She staggered backwards, eyes wide. Not as wide as his though. "Oh God. Oh God, I'm sorry, I thought you would've… God are you okay?" He took a step forward and stopped remembering her reaction from the last time he'd tried to comfort her. He stood still for fear of causing her to run. His eyes focussed on the blood oozing from her lip. "I'm sorry." It was lame but he didn't know what else to say.
She stuck her tongue out to the side of her lip and realised that she tasted blood. She was looking at him, her expression unreadable, he was looking right back – shocked and stunned at what he had done. She smiled. "You have improved. It was my own fault. I was not concentrating. You always manage to distract me…" She quickly lowered her eyes realising her mistake. She didn't want to see the look in those eyes. He said nothing.
She focussed on the floor in front of her absently cleaning the blood with her tongue. "How did you do it?" It was barely a whisper and he wasn't even sure he had heard right.
"Do what?"
"How did you manage to love me back so quickly after I died? Knowing the pain, knowing how it felt to lose me. How did you do that?" He looked at her, her eyes remained on the floor, he began to speak then realised that she wasn't actually asking him, she was rationalising it to herself.
"I mean, you still took the chance, you still wanted it to work. Could you have survived without me? Or would you have been lost John?"
Just by using his name, his first name, gave him some hope that there might be a future for them, even if it was just a slither. He walked slowly over to where she stood. With one finger under her chin, he tipped her head so that their eyes met. "The question is am I lost?" They both knew what he meant. Her eyes filled with tears. He continued along a different track. "I took the chance because I didn't want to live my life regretting never taking that chance. It was a second chance for both of us, a second chance to love you. To tell you how I felt - to act on it. I couldn't go through life knowing that one of us might die not knowing how the other felt. Not sharing the pleasure of loving you and being loved back. It outweighed the risk that I might have lost you again. You were worth the risk Aeryn. But am I?"
"When he died, I was lost. I couldn't control myself – something I have always been able to do. I rely on my training to survive then he, you…. I lost it, if I can't fight, if I cant control myself I'm nothing! I know you were one, I know that the only difference is the memories but I cant…. I wont…him, you…I…can't…I won't go through that pain again. I couldn't survive it. I can't take the risk John; no matter how much I may want to I cant! Do you understand that? You will never be lost, I will always be at your side but as a comrade, as an ally, I don't think I can offer you anything more. Is that enough?"
One word, one word that brought her crashing back to reality - one frelling word. "No." He dropped his hand and walked away leaving her feeling even more confused and frustrated.
"Okay lets get this show on the road." He tried to sound in control. He tried to sound confident. One look at his friends told him that he was fooling no one.
"John, you don't have to go through with this. There would be other chances, other streets to explore."
John laughed at D'Argo's failed attempt at Earth slang and was surprised when it was Aeryn who corrected him.
"Avenue" it was said without thought. Just another painful reminder to him just how close his other self had been with her. It spurned him on. He patted his friend on the back.
"Hey, we have been through every other possibility. If there had been another way, I know you would have found it bro." He walked to the transport pod. Aeryn fell into step behind him. He stopped to look at her questionably.
"What? Someone needs to bring the pod back."
He nodded "Of course, the pod." With that he hopped up the stairs followed by Aeryn and D'argo.
The ride was strained. She needed to speak to him. To tell him – what? Tell him that she still cared? That she did love him? Dam human. She looked over to him but he was seemingly engrossed in the panel before him. She probably knew him better than he knew himself. He was trying to avoid any conversation with her. "Hey."
She knew he would answer.
"Hey" It was an automatic reaction, out of his mouth before he realised.
Perfect, more purposely "Hey". He turned to look at her. He smiled slightly knowing he had been caught out by his own game then pursed his lips.
"I think we said all there is to say." He turned away instigating a conversation with D'Argo. Anything so that he wouldn't have to look at her. It was too painful, to raw, to de ja vu.
The pod landed without incident and John scurried down the steps. D'Argo caught up with him at the bottom. "Be aware of the bracelet John. Don't do anything foolish that will cause you pain. Stick to the plan and you have a very good chance of getting out of this alive. Your pain threshold is strong, despite what the others might think, I have seen what you are capable of handling."
John smiled at his friend's concern. "Yeah, I can handle pain. I just can't handle the type that she keeps dishing out. I make her cry just by looking at her D. She won't even try to give it a second chance because she knows what its like to lose someone you love, because she felt the pain. I've been there and I can't compete with it. I don't know how too. I'm back to square one with her; she has her peacekeeper training to fall back on, what do I have? I'm just the emotional human who is back to trying to get her to talk when all the while he had the part of her that I worked so hard to get. He got the Aeryn Sun who wasn't afraid to show her emotions, wasn't afraid to act of them. There's irony in there somewhere." He paused trying to control his voice. " Maybe it would be better for all concerned if I didn't make it back. I mean, the chances are slim, I could tip the odds, she wouldn't have to know, know one would, just you and me. Maybe she would have a better chance of life if I wasn't there to constantly remind her of her pain."
One minute his feet were firmly on the ground, next they were dangling mid air. The Luxan held his grip and brought John's faces within an inch of his own. "Now listen and listen good" The words spitting from his mouth "If you continue to talk like that I will kill you myself. You will do your utmost to get out of this alive. You will return to us and we will worry about Aeryn together. You two are strong, you will overcome this like you have in the past. Do you hear me bro?" The emphasis on the last word was not lost to John.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you, it was just a suggestion…." His voice trailed off as his eyes widened ever so slightly.
"Please do not harm my prisoner KA' Dargo, I do not wish to receive damaged goods." D'Argo dropped John and turned Quantum blade partially drawn. "Ah, no need, it us just I and my Lieutenant as agreed. " Braca smiled and bowed his head. D'Argo felt glad that it would be Scorpius and not Braca who would be wearing the bracelet. However, within microts he would come to realise that John would not be safe from either of them.
Aeryn sat motionless in the prowler. She had a clear view of everything. She watched D'Argo pick John up, wondered what had caused the outburst, all the while knowing deep down it was something to do with her. She knew that expression, one of hurt, anger and defeat. The mighty John Crichton never been broken, never been beaten until now. And it was because of her. She hated herself for what she had said to him. She had to be honest, but had she been? Truly? She shivered involuntary when she saw the smile Braca had given him. Prayed that Scorpius would not allow harm to come to him. Like D'Argo, she was about to find out that prayers don't always get answered.
Braca walked forward holding what looked like a silver bangle. John looked past him and saw the same item on Scorpius's wrist. "His and his bracelets. You really shouldn't have, I mean I didn't get you anything, if I'd a known we were at that stage in the relationship where we were exchanging gifts I woulda bought something, really I would have."
The grin was positively evil. "Ahh, you always did rely on humour didn't you John? Tell me, how does my little neural clone cope with it?"
John took a sharp intake of breath. How the hell did he know about that? Keep calm; he's trying to crack your bravado. God it was working. His mind was screaming; "Not good, not good!" Or was the Harvey? Yep Harvey. "John your mad, we're going to die, he'll kill us both, run John, please run." The clone pleaded
He smiled at that "Yeah, tell me were you always such a wimp? Right bout now he's begging me to run" His arm was lifted roughly by Braca and the bracelet clicked into place. A red light appeared and numbers flashed by then settled. He realised the bracelet was recording his heart rate.
"Lets find out shall we. They say a peacekeeper can take a considerable amount of pain. I can take more; as you know, I am part Scarren part Peacekeeper. You however are human John; one of a kind therefore the bracelet may not be suitable. Time for a test I think." He withdrew a knife from his side.
"This was not what we planned Scorpius" D'Argo moved forward. John raised his hand to stop him from moving. He felt the critters jump in his stomach as Scorpius spoke menacingly.
"Stay where you are. It is important that we perform a test. I need to know how effective my creation is. And how co-operative my new tech will be."
Time seemed to stand still for Aeryn And D'Argo as both realised what was about to happen. Scorpius plunged the knife into his left leg and simultaneously John dropped to his knees crying out in pain. He was clutching his left leg tightly. "Son of a bitch." He mumbled through clenched teeth.
Aeryn jumped up and D'Argo ran forward. "Stay where you are! The test is not over!" They stopped. "Now John, get up and walk over to me. Show me just how obedient your going to be so that we will not have to perform this test again."
John looked up sinking his teeth into his lip in an effort to control his voice, hoping that it wouldn't betray him and let Scorpy know how much pain he was really in "I would comply but you just stabbed me in the frelling leg, it makes it kinda difficult to walk." He all but spat the words out.
"Exactly - one less worry. Now come to me. Do not make me repeat myself. From now on you will be under my command and as such you will obey my orders in the first instance! I do not wish to test this further but I will if you show insubordination." With that he gripped the knife and proceeded to twist it ever so slightly. It was enough to cause a rippling of sharp pain through John's entire leg. He let out a gasp and D'Argo moved to help him up. "No! He will do this alone!" John looked up and saw that his hand was still on the knife. The gesture told him to get up quick. He struggled to his feet and stood trying unsuccessfully to balance on his right leg.
"Okay, okay I'm obeying your Highness." The sarcasm made Scorpius smile.
"Ahh, John, you are a worthy adversary in my game. I am going to enjoy…. working with you. However, Sir or Scorpius will be suffice when you address me in future"
John kept his eyes focussed and his face expressionless. He limped badly ignoring the comment and biting back a reply. He didn't look at D'Argo, trained his eyes forward. He knew if he looked it might be enough to make his crewmates change their mind about the plan. He couldn't allow that, it was too late even if he wanted too. He tried to straighten his leg but the pain was unbearable. Don't pass out, don't pass out he repeated as he used all of his remaining strength trying to walk what he hoped was a straight line.
D'Argo watched helplessly as his friend stumbled towards Scorpius. Braca grabbed his arm roughly and pulled him in the direction of the awaiting transport pod. He heard D'Argo say something but didn't look back. Didn't see the look on his friends face, didn't see the tears falling freely from Aeryn's. Didn't even see the inside of the pod. He passed out before ever reaching the door.
Well? What do you think? Do you want more? I have more! Please let me know!
This is in answer to one of the other reviews to "try something a little more creative." I hope you like it!
Disclaimers: None Mine *sigh*
On with the story!
It had been 10 solar days since John Crichton had come up with the plan to attack Scorpius. Well, truth be told, it had only taken 7; the remaining 3 were taken up trying to convince his crewmates. Not all of them, just most of them. The plan, at best was flawed, at worse? Suicide, for him, not the others – he wouldn't put them at risk if it could be avoided, and this way, it could be. This was what his friends were concerned about. Aeryn and Crais had sided with him unconditionally, not out of feeling, he was sure of that. It was out of some kind of duty to the other John Crichton, the one who stolen then broken her heart. She had not objected to the plan, which made him feel even more dejected than he thought possible.
They had been searching all of that time for the new Gammak Base, for information on the Command Carrier all to no avail. It was then that John had decided to share his plan knowing they would have to at least consider it. He would surrender himself to Scorpius under the guise of working with him on the wormhole technology to defeat the Scarrens. In return, the peacekeepers would not track his friends again. They would no longer be fugitives, none of them. It was believable, to a point.
Captain Crais had sent out a peacekeeper beacon, it had replayed a message every half arn. It asked for a meeting with Scorpius from the fugitives of a Leviathan. No names were mentioned; they didn't know how much the Scarrens knew about John, the risk was too much. This way, they conceded, would be safer, if that was possible.
And this was how both Rygel and KA'Dargo came to be sitting in a café of some kind in a backwater planet that did not welcome peacekeepers, waiting for the half-breed they had tried quite successfully to avoid in the past. They were early. They had checked all escape routes available to them. Rygel was still not convinced of the plan. "At least we can eat while we negotiate Crichton's death with that abomination."
D'Argo grabbed Rygel's hand before the food could reach his mouth. "Do not start again! There is no other way. We have to go along with this. We will back him up!" His voice wavered between a growl and hyper-rage. He did not like the plan either, had tried - ineffectively to talk his friend out of it. When John had asked him for other suggestions, D'Argo had to admit defeat, something he very rarely did.
John Crichton, astronaut, lost human and depressed individual sat on his bunk in the huge ship that was circling the planet below while his friends effectively sold him out. He smiled without humour; at least Rygel had the decency to object. They wouldn't allow him to go with them, said it was because of the peacekeeper rule on the planet. He knew D'Argo had chosen that planet solely because of that, then John wouldn't be able to argue about going down. They had been through some tough times of late, but he knew he could trust D'Argo, knew he could count on his support which was exactly what he needed at this point in time.
"Ahh John, this is foolish, you're only doing this because of that tralk. She isn't worth dying for; your other self tried that and look what happened. Think John, think…."
"Can it Harvey, I really don't need your impersonation of Dr Ruth. You haven't got a clue what you're talking about."
Chianna walked in to his cell and sat at the side of the bed looking worried. She didn't mention what she had heard "Have you two spoken yet?"
He eyed her carefully "Yeah, all the time, I ask her a question, she answers."
"You know what I mean John, playing dumb s' not as cute as it used to be." She was teasing, trying to get him to open up.
"Look Chi, I can't think about that right now. I have to keep focussed on the plan. You know what they say, emotions can cause untold problems in the face of battles."
She poked him hard in the ribs "They say that! You never did! You don't think that way, peacekeepers do and you're not a peacekeeper!"
He took a sharp intake of breath, both from the pain in his rib and the venom in her voice. "Sometimes I think they're right though. If I hadn't taught her about emotion she wouldn't be in pain now would she?"
"No she wouldn't, she would be cold, untrustworthy and probably dead. You saved her life more times than I can count and you did that out of love. You did it for her; you did it for all of us! Don't regret that John, you made her life better."
He laughed "Better? Better for who? Better for her or better for me? Maybe I was the callous one, the cold hearted one. Maybe I just loved her because she was the only one here. So I wouldn't feel alone…"
She didn't let him finish. She grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a sitting position and kissed him hard on the lips. He pulled away quickly "What the hell?"
"See! She wasn't the only one there John; you just couldn't see anyone else because you loved, love her so much. Don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself, it doesn't become you. You love her because of who she was; you love her in spite of what she was. You pulled down the wall that they had built. You can do it again – if you want to that is."
He smiled slightly "When did you become so grown up?"
"Well, it had to happen. Just don't tell anyone okay? I like that the way you all treat me – well most of the time! So what are you going to do? You need to talk to her before you go through with this farbot plan of yours."
"I know, how can I though? She wont look at me, hell she won't even be in the same room as me if it can be avoided!"
"You'll find away, you always did." With that she got up and left feeling her work here was done. She only hoped Crais was doing as good a job with Aeryn.
She was cleaning her pulse rifle with peacekeeper precision when he made his presence felt. "You have something to say." It was a statement rather than a question.
Crais cleared his throat. He stood at the only exit route in the room. She would have to get past him if she didn't want to listen to what he had to say. "You need to talk to him."
"I don't need to do anything I don't want to do."
"You need to decide your feelings for him and let him know one way or the other."
"Who are you to tell me about feelings? Peacekeepers do not have feelings remember? We are trained to avoid them."
He sighed. They were getting nowhere. "You once told me that you are no longer a peacekeeper has that changed?"
"No, but now I understand why they did not want us to experience these emotions. They create problems, they allow you to become unfocused, to endanger crew."
He remained still, her back to him. "That is very true but not on all levels. Officer Sun, Aeryn, I envy you. I would not have believed these emotions could make a person better, stronger, but having witnessed it first hand I can only say that you have become something so much more than a trained fighter."
She turned looking bitter. Reliving the memory of the last time she had heard that. "More? Yes I have become more, but why does becoming more have to hurt so frelling much?" She rose to her feet and began to walk past him.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back roughly. Instinct told her to block the move but the look on his face told her to remain still. "I am going to say this only once Aeryn so I suggest you listen very carefully. He is going on this mission to finish a job that he effectively started himself. He relies on things that we do not. He relies on hope, love and trust. We rely on guns, training and battle plans. If he has no hope, there will be no reason for him to return from this mission alive. He is going to destroy the only means of getting to his home planet. Who do you think he is doing that for? The good of the universe? A universe that is not even his?" He paused to allow the information to sink in. "He needs to know how you feel Aeryn, he needs to know he can trust you, he deserves that much do you not think?"
She shrugged her arm loose and stared at him defiantly "And what if I tell him that I do not love him, that I will never love him as I did the other, that I wanted to die just to be with him? Would he have a better chance of coming back alive then? It is better that I say nothing."
"They were one Aeryn, you know that, you tested their DNA, you spent time with both of them. They think the same, they act the same, they were the same! Do not try to deny what is in your heart. If you are afraid of loving him because you now know the pain of losing him, tell him that, he of all people should understand." With that he walked from the room leaving her stunned at his perception.
Scorpios arrived alone. The surprise must have been evident on both Rygel and D'Argo's face. It was short lived "My guards are 4 metras away in a transport carrier. They will be here within 200 microts if I so wish it and all exits will be blocked. To not underestimate me."
Both nodded and gestured for the half-breed to sit in the booth opposite them. D'Argo had a clear view of the main door – just in case.
"Well, well, well, I must say, you did manage to catch my attention with the beacon. Is Crichton near by?"
"No, he is out of harms way. It seems that you underestimate us." D'Argo kept his voice low and controlled.
Scorpios nodded. The smile was forced. "So tell me, why was I called? What do you want?"
"It is more a question of what you want."
"You know what I seek, the implant is useless without Crichton. I need him and I doubt that he will give himself up. So again, what do you want?" He was tiring of the conversation.
"John doesn't want the wormhole technology to fall into the wrong hands. He feels that the peacekeepers will use it more wisely than the Scarrens, therefore he has a proposition that will be to your liking." D'Argo watched as the information registered, the false smile was replaced with a greedy one.
"I am listening" He could hardly conceal the excitement in his voice.
"He will work for you, help you unlock the codes, once completed he will be released unharmed. In return we will have safe passage. All our crimes will be forfeited. We will no longer be fugitives - none of us. That is all he asks."
"How very commendable of him. And you are willing to allow your friend to sacrifice himself? In the past you have gone to great lengths to rescue him and see that no harm bestows him. Why should I believe that this would be no different?"
They knew he would be suspicious. This was the part that D'Argo didn't like. It would be up to Rygel to convince him. Somehow they knew that he would be more believable at this point. "Look, he doesn't really have much choice. The Scarrens are on to him because of the Bam Ba Da incident and you, well you never give up do you? He is cornered and he knows it. Do what you have to ensure that he does not run, or that we will not rescue him."
Scorpius sat back and eyed the pair. Their signatures told him they were telling the truth, yet still, he knew that something was not quite right. He smiled again. He had the perfect solution. He would call their bluff. When he told them about the Yensch bracelets he would gage their reaction. Check the signature heat and then he would be sure if this was their real motive.
"Very well. I have been working on several new devices and I am eager to try one out. This will be the perfect opportunity."
D'Argo growled again "I will not hand him over as part of an experiment. You have done enough of that in the past. He will not be harmed do you understand?"
"On the contrary KA'Dargo, this device will ensure that he is not harmed – to a certain extent. Allow me to explain."
He must have fallen asleep, because when he woke he found Aeryn sitting in the corner of his cell sleeping soundly. He watched her for a few microts blinking hard to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. She hadn't spoken to him in days, well not really and yet here she was, in his room. Was it him she came to see or the other one? He didn't dwell, just lay there watching, wondering if he should wake her. He rose from the bunk and tentatively made his way over to where she sat. No movement. He carefully picked her up and lay her on his bunk. He sat in her position watching her, and then rose and headed for the shower before he did something that they would both regret.
She woke suddenly and bewildered. Where was she? Then she remembered. Frell! She had argued with Crais and stormed off to her quarters, passing his on the way. She had stopped noticing that he was asleep, looking so peaceful and innocent. She couldn't help herself, she felt compelled to watch him. She had moved inside his cell, he always left the door open, still trusting after all this time. She inhaled the scent of the room, his scent. She started to cry then, quietly, and uncontrollably. Her legs had suddenly felt heavy due to the lack of sleep and she slid down the wall. She thought she had only closed her eyes for a microt - clearly not. She debated what to do. He had obviously woken and moved her to his bed; the shower was on so it would be safe for her to leave. She sat up and made to move off the bed. Too late, their eyes locked, as he appeared from the shower cubicle looking wet, nervous and completely adorable.
She shook the thought away. She felt trapped and it was all her own doing. She didn't know what to say, but she needn't have worried. As always, he sensed her discomfort and tried to inject some humour into the strained silence.
"There are comfier places to sleep you know." He smiled and kept the eye contact, daring her to break it.
She did, couldn't bear to look into the pools of blue that reflected his soul. "I…. you…I…"she floundered, then composed herself "I am sorry I should not be here."
He recognised that line, looked hard at her face – no emotion. Was she testing him? Checking to see if he was who she thought he was? "It's exactly where you should be. I love you." He was watching her intently, noticed the hint of a smile.
"I should leave now" Not the reply he had hoped for, but it was a start. "Sorry for the intrusion"
He moved in front of her, the second person in as many arns to block her exit. "Aeryn wait, is there anything you want to say? Is there anything you want to talk about?" He knew he was pushing her, but he didn't have the time that his counterpart had suggested. She tried to move past him but she was losing herself in his stare. He looked away first unsure if he could continue otherwise. "Well I do. I'm sorry, but I have to say this or I'm gonna go crazy – again. I cant pretend to know what your going through, to understand what your going through but I do know what its like to lose someone you love, to lose your one constant, your one anchor. I have been there Aeryn, I lost you and I know how scared and lonely and completely useless I felt. I wanted to die, I….." His voice trailed as he looked up at her. He eyes were beginning to water. "Ohh, please, don't cry." He started to raise his hand to her face and she instinctively backed away. "I'm sorry ba…Aeryn, go, just go." And with that he turned his back, unable to watch the once strong kick ass peacekeeper cry at mere words, his words.
She turned and bolted. He shook his head and sat down on the bed. There was nothing he could do. He had tried. He didn't know what she felt; she probably didn't know what she felt. He would have to accept the fact that his twin? Copy? Whatever, was the one that she loved, he was just a painful reminder. Maybe this mission was a blessing in disguise. His comm. blasted to life interrupting his train of thoughts.
"Commander, the transport pod is docking. KA'Dargo has requested everyone's presence in command"
"Thanks Pilot" He pursed his lips and walked slowly to command wondering if his nemesis had taken the bait.
He was the last to enter - some things never change. He looked at everyone in turn - their faces grim.
"Well what gives?"
"What? Gives? What the yotz are you on about Crichton? We are here to discuss what was said on the planet." Rygel was impatient - no he was nervous which in turn made John uneasy.
"It's just a …never mind. Hit me with it, tell me what went on."
D'Argo looked solemn "I have good news and bad news John" It relieved some of the tension John felt. This made him smile; he remembered the last time that line was used – on the Royal planet. His humour was rubbing off on the usually serious Luxan.
"Hit me with the good news D"
"Scorpius has taken the bait and at meeting has been scheduled in 2 days. However, he is very suspicious and as such, he has a device that you will have to wear."
John chewed his lip in the hope that it would not let the others see the apprehension. They wouldn't need an excuse to abandon his plan. "Uh, huh, I'm guessing that was the bad news? Lay it on me."
"It is a Yensch bracelet, it…." Before he could finish both Aeryn and Crais took a sharp intake of breath. All eyes turned to them.
"I take it you two know about this peacekeeper toy?" John tried to keep his voice level and the critters in check.
"We should not go ahead with this plan. There has to be another way." Crais said, looking at D'Argo and not John, it fuelled the critters.
"Okay Crais, explain." John moved to face the ex-peacekeeper but it was Aeryn who spoke.
"It is, was used in peacekeeper training. It is a device that was banned due to the level of cruelty and confusion it could inflict. Both parties wore the bracelet and it was used to test pain tolerance. Pain was inflicted on a trainee. Their counterpart would feel the pain he felt. If one, for example used a blade to inflict a wound on them self, they would bleed, feel the pain, but so would the other, although no apparent wound would be visible. It was with drawn, as when separated, peacekeepers could not determine the extent of an injury until it was too late."
"Peacekeepers withdrawing a weapon because of cruelty? This is not good." It was all he could think of at that moment. He did not like the look on both peacekeepers faces. "Wait, it would work both ways? Ah, clever."
Everyone looked at him with mixed expressions. It was Chiana who broke the silence.
"Are you farbot? That means Scorpius can inflict pain and you feel it! We cant kill him, we cant even injury him without risk to you. It's insane. You can't agree to this." Feeling that she was fighting a loosing battle she added "Come on guys tell him!"
John moved over to her and gave her a hug. To Aeryn's surprise she felt a pang of… jealousy? She knew the two had become close in her absence. That he had turned to her for conversation. What else had he turned to her for? She gave a dismissive shake of her head. She had no right to question his relationship. "It's okay Pip, look at it another way. Scorpy can't hurt me without hurting himself. That's gotta be good for something don't it?"
She wasn't convinced, but he continued, "Look, there is no other way. We have been through this a thousand times. It'll be fine, trust me." With that he left before anybody could object.
The remaining crew sat in silence for a few microts after John had left. Again, Aeryn spoke first echoing John's words. "This is not good. Scorpius would not just rely on the bracelets. They can be altered and Crichton does not have the same pain threshold as peacekeepers. The range on the bracelets has never been recorded. Once it is activated, only Scorpius can disable it, which I doubt he would do. That means when we get him free the bracelet will still be operable unless we find someone to render it inoperative. We cannot injure or kill Scorpios as that will effectively do the same to Crichton!"
The others looked at her with incomprehensible expressions. "And why would you care anyway? You don't even acknowledge the fact that he's alive now." Jool didn't know Aeryn as well as the others. If she did, she would have realised the gravity of her statement and the consequences. Aeryn closed the distance between them and grabbed the interon around the neck. With her free hand she raised her pulse rifle and jammed it into her neck.
"Do not interfere with my life. Do not try to give me advice and do not address me unless I speak to you first. Is that clear?" Her voice was dangerously low. Jool could only nod. Satisfied Aeryn dropped her and walked from the room.
"Ahhh, not a good move Princess. Next time just shoot yourself – it'll be quicker and less painful." Chiana was mocking her, as usual.
"I thought you said she was no longer a peacekeeper? The bitch needed to be told. I spoke the truth!"
Aeryn sat on her bed, knees hugged to chest. She should have controlled herself better. She should not have shown emotion of any kind. Frell, who was she kidding? Most of those peacekeeper traits had long since gone. She was still a fighter, but she was very different. What did he do to her? This human from another world, how could he have changed her so much then left her to deal with the cost of showing, feeling, experiencing love? But he hadn't left her had he? Only part of him had left, part of him was still here and that's what hurt. Knowing he was here, yet not. She hit the mattress trying to vent her frustration then decided on a better way. She jumped to her feet and headed for the cargo bay. A workout would help her clear her mind.
Chiana walked into the training area, she knew he would be there. Sure enough, he was training – again. He was taking his anger and fear on the red punch bag. "Hey, what did Rygel do to deserve that? Hey Rygel are you okay?" She stroked the red bag feigning concern before he had the chance to hit it again. He laughed and dropped to his knees.
"I swear you get more like me every day Pip."
"I most certainly do not, I am very feminine – not that you would ever notice." She pouted and sat down opposite him. "Talk to me."
He laughed again "There you go again! What would you like me to talk about?"
She pushed him hard and he fell backwards still smiling. She straddled him and proceeded to tickle him. He was breathless with laughter "Its so good to hear you laugh its been a long time." Her hands moved lower.
"Instinctively he grabbed her wrists. "Chi…." She sat back bringing him with her.
"Frell" One word but his smile grew wider.
"You wish darlin." He let go of her wrists and began to stand but she pulled him back down. "Chi, this is not a good idea…"
"I meant what I said about talking John. Tell me what's on your mind. The one person that you usually share with isn't listening right now so let me help."
He looked at her debating, choosing his words carefully. "I admit that I'm more than a little nervous about the plan. If I tell them that they might not go through with it and we have to go through with it. It's the only way. I want this finished and I want Scorpy dead. I can achieve it with or without the aid of a bracelet."
Her eyes widened. "If you kill him, then you die John, the bracelet will destroy you." She paused, realisation dawning. "You don't plan on coming back from this mission do you?" He lowered his eyes "Do you?" She shouted lifting his head.
He smiled sadly "I don't think its gonna be an option Pip. Scorpy wont let me leave despite the agreement. He needs me; he'll never give up. I know that without Harvey here telling me every 2 microts. If I'm not in the picture, you, all of you will be in the clear. He wont have any other reason to come after you guys anymore."
"I wont let you do this. You can't do this! You can't trade your life for everyone else, it's not fair!" Her voice faltered as a sob escaped her lips.
"It's okay Pip, hey…" he wiped away one of her tears. "I did some good things. I'm proud of my life." It was then that they heard the gasp from the shadows.
Aeryn Sun stepped out. She had intended to train but he was already there. She had intended to walk back out but that would mean passing Chiana. She had intended to stay the hell away from him. But those words, spoken from her John, from this John, from one John it broke her so-called good intensions as well as her resolve.
Chiana stood quickly. "This is your fault! If he had something to come back to he wouldn't be thinking this way. You have taken everything that was good away from him and not content with that you go and break his heart as well. You are a true peacekeeper – it is your breeding. You know, I nearly believed Rygel when he told me how you were on Talyn, like a different person he said. What a pile of dren, you…."
He didn't let her finish his voice was low but forceful. "That's enough Chiana. You don't know what she's going through, you can't understand." She whirled round to face him both she and Aeryn spoke at the same time.
"Why do you always defend her…"
"I do not need you to defend me…"
He sat back smiling at the irony of it. "Well at least you both agree on something." Both women turned on their heel and began to walk away. Aeryn paused at the cargo doors. He watched her wondering indeed what she was going through. And how he had managed to piss her off yet again. He was startled to see her turn back and stride purposely over to him and hold out her hand. He frowned not sure what to do.
"What? You want me standing so it'll be an even fight?" He tried to make it sound like a joke.
She smiled slightly. "It could never be fair – I am the superior fighter, but you might make a worthy opponent. It would be nice to train with a real person other than Rygel." She gestured to the punch bag then flicked her wrist to show that she was still waiting. He smiled, reassured at her attempt to make humour of the situation and took the offered hand.
They fought well together. Each knew the others move. Each block was counter blocked. He was enjoying the contact, even if it was unarmed combat. "You have trained frequently while I was away." It was a statement.
"Well there wasn't much else to do. So what were you up to? Have any adventures of your own?"
"Some." Dam back to one words answers. He pressed on.
"And one of them would involve a Budong"
She stopped mid punch but John didn't anticipate the move. The palm of his hand connected to her face before he realised that she hadn't blocked the move. She staggered backwards, eyes wide. Not as wide as his though. "Oh God. Oh God, I'm sorry, I thought you would've… God are you okay?" He took a step forward and stopped remembering her reaction from the last time he'd tried to comfort her. He stood still for fear of causing her to run. His eyes focussed on the blood oozing from her lip. "I'm sorry." It was lame but he didn't know what else to say.
She stuck her tongue out to the side of her lip and realised that she tasted blood. She was looking at him, her expression unreadable, he was looking right back – shocked and stunned at what he had done. She smiled. "You have improved. It was my own fault. I was not concentrating. You always manage to distract me…" She quickly lowered her eyes realising her mistake. She didn't want to see the look in those eyes. He said nothing.
She focussed on the floor in front of her absently cleaning the blood with her tongue. "How did you do it?" It was barely a whisper and he wasn't even sure he had heard right.
"Do what?"
"How did you manage to love me back so quickly after I died? Knowing the pain, knowing how it felt to lose me. How did you do that?" He looked at her, her eyes remained on the floor, he began to speak then realised that she wasn't actually asking him, she was rationalising it to herself.
"I mean, you still took the chance, you still wanted it to work. Could you have survived without me? Or would you have been lost John?"
Just by using his name, his first name, gave him some hope that there might be a future for them, even if it was just a slither. He walked slowly over to where she stood. With one finger under her chin, he tipped her head so that their eyes met. "The question is am I lost?" They both knew what he meant. Her eyes filled with tears. He continued along a different track. "I took the chance because I didn't want to live my life regretting never taking that chance. It was a second chance for both of us, a second chance to love you. To tell you how I felt - to act on it. I couldn't go through life knowing that one of us might die not knowing how the other felt. Not sharing the pleasure of loving you and being loved back. It outweighed the risk that I might have lost you again. You were worth the risk Aeryn. But am I?"
"When he died, I was lost. I couldn't control myself – something I have always been able to do. I rely on my training to survive then he, you…. I lost it, if I can't fight, if I cant control myself I'm nothing! I know you were one, I know that the only difference is the memories but I cant…. I wont…him, you…I…can't…I won't go through that pain again. I couldn't survive it. I can't take the risk John; no matter how much I may want to I cant! Do you understand that? You will never be lost, I will always be at your side but as a comrade, as an ally, I don't think I can offer you anything more. Is that enough?"
One word, one word that brought her crashing back to reality - one frelling word. "No." He dropped his hand and walked away leaving her feeling even more confused and frustrated.
"Okay lets get this show on the road." He tried to sound in control. He tried to sound confident. One look at his friends told him that he was fooling no one.
"John, you don't have to go through with this. There would be other chances, other streets to explore."
John laughed at D'Argo's failed attempt at Earth slang and was surprised when it was Aeryn who corrected him.
"Avenue" it was said without thought. Just another painful reminder to him just how close his other self had been with her. It spurned him on. He patted his friend on the back.
"Hey, we have been through every other possibility. If there had been another way, I know you would have found it bro." He walked to the transport pod. Aeryn fell into step behind him. He stopped to look at her questionably.
"What? Someone needs to bring the pod back."
He nodded "Of course, the pod." With that he hopped up the stairs followed by Aeryn and D'argo.
The ride was strained. She needed to speak to him. To tell him – what? Tell him that she still cared? That she did love him? Dam human. She looked over to him but he was seemingly engrossed in the panel before him. She probably knew him better than he knew himself. He was trying to avoid any conversation with her. "Hey."
She knew he would answer.
"Hey" It was an automatic reaction, out of his mouth before he realised.
Perfect, more purposely "Hey". He turned to look at her. He smiled slightly knowing he had been caught out by his own game then pursed his lips.
"I think we said all there is to say." He turned away instigating a conversation with D'Argo. Anything so that he wouldn't have to look at her. It was too painful, to raw, to de ja vu.
The pod landed without incident and John scurried down the steps. D'Argo caught up with him at the bottom. "Be aware of the bracelet John. Don't do anything foolish that will cause you pain. Stick to the plan and you have a very good chance of getting out of this alive. Your pain threshold is strong, despite what the others might think, I have seen what you are capable of handling."
John smiled at his friend's concern. "Yeah, I can handle pain. I just can't handle the type that she keeps dishing out. I make her cry just by looking at her D. She won't even try to give it a second chance because she knows what its like to lose someone you love, because she felt the pain. I've been there and I can't compete with it. I don't know how too. I'm back to square one with her; she has her peacekeeper training to fall back on, what do I have? I'm just the emotional human who is back to trying to get her to talk when all the while he had the part of her that I worked so hard to get. He got the Aeryn Sun who wasn't afraid to show her emotions, wasn't afraid to act of them. There's irony in there somewhere." He paused trying to control his voice. " Maybe it would be better for all concerned if I didn't make it back. I mean, the chances are slim, I could tip the odds, she wouldn't have to know, know one would, just you and me. Maybe she would have a better chance of life if I wasn't there to constantly remind her of her pain."
One minute his feet were firmly on the ground, next they were dangling mid air. The Luxan held his grip and brought John's faces within an inch of his own. "Now listen and listen good" The words spitting from his mouth "If you continue to talk like that I will kill you myself. You will do your utmost to get out of this alive. You will return to us and we will worry about Aeryn together. You two are strong, you will overcome this like you have in the past. Do you hear me bro?" The emphasis on the last word was not lost to John.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you, it was just a suggestion…." His voice trailed off as his eyes widened ever so slightly.
"Please do not harm my prisoner KA' Dargo, I do not wish to receive damaged goods." D'Argo dropped John and turned Quantum blade partially drawn. "Ah, no need, it us just I and my Lieutenant as agreed. " Braca smiled and bowed his head. D'Argo felt glad that it would be Scorpius and not Braca who would be wearing the bracelet. However, within microts he would come to realise that John would not be safe from either of them.
Aeryn sat motionless in the prowler. She had a clear view of everything. She watched D'Argo pick John up, wondered what had caused the outburst, all the while knowing deep down it was something to do with her. She knew that expression, one of hurt, anger and defeat. The mighty John Crichton never been broken, never been beaten until now. And it was because of her. She hated herself for what she had said to him. She had to be honest, but had she been? Truly? She shivered involuntary when she saw the smile Braca had given him. Prayed that Scorpius would not allow harm to come to him. Like D'Argo, she was about to find out that prayers don't always get answered.
Braca walked forward holding what looked like a silver bangle. John looked past him and saw the same item on Scorpius's wrist. "His and his bracelets. You really shouldn't have, I mean I didn't get you anything, if I'd a known we were at that stage in the relationship where we were exchanging gifts I woulda bought something, really I would have."
The grin was positively evil. "Ahh, you always did rely on humour didn't you John? Tell me, how does my little neural clone cope with it?"
John took a sharp intake of breath. How the hell did he know about that? Keep calm; he's trying to crack your bravado. God it was working. His mind was screaming; "Not good, not good!" Or was the Harvey? Yep Harvey. "John your mad, we're going to die, he'll kill us both, run John, please run." The clone pleaded
He smiled at that "Yeah, tell me were you always such a wimp? Right bout now he's begging me to run" His arm was lifted roughly by Braca and the bracelet clicked into place. A red light appeared and numbers flashed by then settled. He realised the bracelet was recording his heart rate.
"Lets find out shall we. They say a peacekeeper can take a considerable amount of pain. I can take more; as you know, I am part Scarren part Peacekeeper. You however are human John; one of a kind therefore the bracelet may not be suitable. Time for a test I think." He withdrew a knife from his side.
"This was not what we planned Scorpius" D'Argo moved forward. John raised his hand to stop him from moving. He felt the critters jump in his stomach as Scorpius spoke menacingly.
"Stay where you are. It is important that we perform a test. I need to know how effective my creation is. And how co-operative my new tech will be."
Time seemed to stand still for Aeryn And D'Argo as both realised what was about to happen. Scorpius plunged the knife into his left leg and simultaneously John dropped to his knees crying out in pain. He was clutching his left leg tightly. "Son of a bitch." He mumbled through clenched teeth.
Aeryn jumped up and D'Argo ran forward. "Stay where you are! The test is not over!" They stopped. "Now John, get up and walk over to me. Show me just how obedient your going to be so that we will not have to perform this test again."
John looked up sinking his teeth into his lip in an effort to control his voice, hoping that it wouldn't betray him and let Scorpy know how much pain he was really in "I would comply but you just stabbed me in the frelling leg, it makes it kinda difficult to walk." He all but spat the words out.
"Exactly - one less worry. Now come to me. Do not make me repeat myself. From now on you will be under my command and as such you will obey my orders in the first instance! I do not wish to test this further but I will if you show insubordination." With that he gripped the knife and proceeded to twist it ever so slightly. It was enough to cause a rippling of sharp pain through John's entire leg. He let out a gasp and D'Argo moved to help him up. "No! He will do this alone!" John looked up and saw that his hand was still on the knife. The gesture told him to get up quick. He struggled to his feet and stood trying unsuccessfully to balance on his right leg.
"Okay, okay I'm obeying your Highness." The sarcasm made Scorpius smile.
"Ahh, John, you are a worthy adversary in my game. I am going to enjoy…. working with you. However, Sir or Scorpius will be suffice when you address me in future"
John kept his eyes focussed and his face expressionless. He limped badly ignoring the comment and biting back a reply. He didn't look at D'Argo, trained his eyes forward. He knew if he looked it might be enough to make his crewmates change their mind about the plan. He couldn't allow that, it was too late even if he wanted too. He tried to straighten his leg but the pain was unbearable. Don't pass out, don't pass out he repeated as he used all of his remaining strength trying to walk what he hoped was a straight line.
D'Argo watched helplessly as his friend stumbled towards Scorpius. Braca grabbed his arm roughly and pulled him in the direction of the awaiting transport pod. He heard D'Argo say something but didn't look back. Didn't see the look on his friends face, didn't see the tears falling freely from Aeryn's. Didn't even see the inside of the pod. He passed out before ever reaching the door.
Well? What do you think? Do you want more? I have more! Please let me know!