(A/N: What kind of idiot do you guys take me for? Somewhere, someone pointed out to me that elves don't dream, that got that reverie thing going on. I KNOW that. Jeez, you guys! But, Jander is a vampire, which changes everything. You'll notice in… in… well, I don't remember the name, but it was in Realms of Infamy, that he does indeed sleep. Being a vampire makes it all different. And now you'll say, well, he only slept because it was daylight and that's what vampires can do during the daylight hours. Since he's got that necklace Eckerd made, he doesn't need to "sleep" anymore. Well, he still does, except at night, cuz there's nothing else to do. We all would think that it would be cool to never have to go to sleep, but after a few centuries (more like years) of that, you realize that there's nothing to DO at night. So he sleeps just because there is nothing else to do. People, believe me, I have a reason for everything I write. So just ask, and I'll explain it. You want my reason why in "Drow" Drizzt dreams, I got that, too. Just ask anything, and I swear I have a reason. Oh yeah, and the story's done. So, review more if you want more chapters faster! Man, what was the name of that story? You got "One Last Drink" in Realms of Valor, "The Quiet Place" in Realms of Magic… *voice fades out as speaker moves away*)
Chapter Eight
Two days later, they arrived in a small village. The village hardly ever had visitors, so the three and Korrieana were big news. They got three rooms in the solitary inn of the village. Jander took out some of his carvings and sold them, doing business at the bar. He sold them for far less than usual and gave away a couple to the children who were running around. He had enough money hidden away to support all four of them in the village for a long time, and Eckerd and Pa'das certainly had enough money to take care of themselves. He didn't need to sell his figurines for money, now.
Pa'das sat with the women and men of the hamlet, telling them news of the outside world. They hung on her every word. The older girls had fun playing with Korrieana.
Eckerd sat in his room, thinking. Later on, he would go join Jander at the bar, but first he had to put his thoughts in order, figure some things out.
He was growing undeniably more and more attracted to Pa'das. She was a great friend, and she was beautiful, inside and out. He didn't really know why, he just liked her and wanted it to be more.
The problem was Jander. Well, not really a problem. Eckerd wasn't exactly sure of the relationship between Jander and Pa'das. Sometimes, they seemed to be only friends, sometimes more. Eckerd didn't want to intrude on anything that was between his friends, or that might be growing between them. He tried to decide on whom to talk to, finally choosing Jander. Jander had been his friend for a longer time, and Eckerd could be certain of knowing Jander's true feelings by watching him. Whatever Jander said, Eckerd would know the truth. Whatever the truth was, Eckerd wouldn't care whether he could put his advances on Pa'das or not, would hold no grudges.
* *
* * *
Jander saw Eckerd come into the barroom and waved him over. He was sitting at a table in the middle of the room, holding a happy Korrieana in his lap. Pa'das was sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender.
Eckerd came and sat at the table with Jander, ordering a drink from the serving wench. He sat, watching Pa'das. Jander could see the troubled look on his face.
"What troubles you, my friend," he asked after Eckerd had sat, silently sipping his drink, for a few moments.
Eckerd sighed and turned to face Jander. "I really don't know how to say this in a tactful way, so I'll say it bluntly. What's your relationship with Pa'das?"
Jander was confused. "What do you mean?"
Eckerd sighed again and but his lip. "I mean, do you love her as more than a friend?"
"Whoa, little one. Don't put that in your mouth." Jander picked a piece of something out of Korrieana's mouth, throwing it on the floor. That gave him time to think about Eckerd's question, coming to the quick decision to lie. "Do I love Pa'das like that?" Jander shook his head and laughed self-deprecatingly. "Even if I did, she most likely wouldn't take me." He put on such a good act that Eckerd believed him.
"Don't say that," Eckerd gently chided him. "She most likely would."
Jander just shook his head. "Make your move, Eckerd."
Eckerd watched Jander's eyes carefully. "You two are really just friends?"
"Just friends. We could never be anything more." For the first time ever, Jander's eyes hid his true feelings from his friend. Eckerd believed that he had no romantic feelings for Pa'das.
Eckerd grinned at Jander and downed the rest of his beer. He wiped an arm across his mouth and stood up. "I think I'll go talk to her, then." He went to the bar and slid into the stool next to Pa'das.
* * * * *
Eckerd slid onto the stool next to Pa'das, ordering a beer. She glanced at Jander and Korrieana, checking on how the baby was doing. It would probably be time to take her upstairs to bed soon.
"Hey, Eckerd. How's it going?" Pa'das smiled at him. He looked a little nervous, and Pa'das wondered why. She got her answer soon enough.
A single red rose blossom appeared in Eckerd's hand. He handed it to her, moving the stool closer.
"You're a great friend," Eckerd said to her, "and a beautiful person. I like you a lot, and I think we should take our relationship to the next level." He leaned in to kiss her, fully expecting her to be completely amenable to the idea. Eckerd was such a charming and charismatic man, he was not used to having his advances turned down.
Pa'das was in shock. She hadn't expected something like this to be jumped on her. Eckerd wanted them to become lovers? Pa'das didn't think that would ever be happening. He was a great friend, but completely not her type. So, Pa'das backed away from him, trying to figure out what to say so as not to hurt his feelings. She did indeed like him as a friend, and didn't want their friendship to become awkward and all that. Luckily, Eckerd saved her from having to do that.
"Damn," he said with a grin. "Should have figured."
"I like you as a friend," Pa'das said, glancing at Jander. Now, if Jander had tried that, it would have been a totally different story. "But that's all."
Eckerd shrugged, brushing it off. "Friendship is good. This isn't going to make it all weird, is it?"
Pa'das smiled. "Not if you don't make it so."
"So just friends."
"Just friends."
They sat in silence for a moment. Eckerd finally got up and went back to sit with Jander. Pa'das watched him go, wishing it was Jander who had come over.
* *
* * *
As Jander watched Eckerd go to sit with Pa'das, he felt a pang in his chest. He pushed it away. No use mourning what he couldn't have. Korrieana was starting to get grumpy; she was tired and ready to go to bed. Before he could take her to bed, Eckerd came back. He had been talking to Pa'das for less than ten minutes.
"Didn't it go well?" Jander asked him.
"Shot down. Wham, bam, no thank you sir."
Jander tried not to smile, tried not to be happy that Pa'das wasn't interested in Eckerd, and couldn't manage. He was able to turn the smile into a sympathetic one, though.
Eckerd laughed. "Oh well. You know," he said slyly, "she's only got eyes for you."
"Yeah, right," Jander scoffed. "You're nuts. I've always suspected it, butt his just proves it."
"Seriously. She does. When I was there, she kept glancing at you, especially when she turned me down."
"She was just checking on Korrieana." Jander couldn't keep the not of longing out of his voice, nor the look of hopelessness from his eye.
"By the gods," Eckerd said softly. "You do like her. How did you manage to hide that from me before?"
Jander saw no use in pretending anymore. "Luck, I guess. Not that it matters."
"I'm telling you, she likes you. Trust me. I know these things."
"You're nuts. That's insane. Who could feel anything for a-" Jander broke off, remembering that there were people about.
"Friendship is a feeling," Eckerd pointed out. "Seriously. Go use your elven charms on her. The worst that will happen is she'll shoot you down like me, and you will continue to be 'just friends', as we are. Try it."
"See now, that might work for you. You're human. I'm not. She'll laugh in my face. I'm telling you."
"No she wouldn't, and you know that wouldn't matter to her."
"I'm not risking it, Eckerd. I have few enough friends as it is." Jander's voice had a tone of finality to it that Eckerd knew better than to argue with. "Look, I'm taking Korrieana up to bed. Don't say anything to Pa'das, okay?"
Jander stood up, holding a sleepy Korrieana, and went over to Pa'das. He sat down in the seat Eckerd had vacated.
"I'm taking Korrieana up to bed."
Pa'das sighed. She had been so hoping he was coming over for the same reason Eckerd had, to hit on her. "I'll take her up so you can stay down here."
Jander shook his head, mistaking her sigh for a sign of reluctance. "I need to work on some more carvings, anyway. She'll be in my room if you want to come and get her later on."
He went up to his room before Pa'das could put out anymore protests. He put Korrieana on the bed, tucking her in. She was already asleep. He sat in a chair, taking out his knife and latest carving. It was a half-done centaur. He turned the knife over in his hands. Could there be truth to what Eckerd said? He pushed that thought away. It was no use dreaming. He should just be happy that he had his friends. He started to work on his carving. He might be able to finish it and sell it before they left the little hamlet.
* *
* * *
Eckerd watched Jander go up the stairs. He had been specifically told not to meddle. But, then again, he hadn't said that he wouldn't. Eckerd struggled with himself as he sat at the table. If he went over and talked to Pa'das, that might be betraying a friend's trust. But, it might also be the best thing he could ever do.
He finally decided that Jander would thank him in the end. He went and joined Pa'das at the bar for the second time that night.
"You love Jander," he said bluntly.
Pa'das' expression immediately became guarded. "Why?" she asked, neither denying it nor admitting to it.
"Don't bother denying it. I'm positive you do. I'm not going to tell him, if that's what you're worried about."
"Okay, you're right. What of it? And don't you dare say anything to him."
"Whyever not?"
"Because. He'd laugh. I mean, he's Jander. He likes me as a friend, and would never like me as anything more." She shook her head helplessly, unable to put her thoughts and feelings into words.
Eckerd grinned. "See now, I know something you don't know. He does like you more than that. A lot more."
Pa'das shook her head. "You're full of crap."
"No I'm not. He told me so himself, less than a minute ago."
Pa'das refrained from pointing out that he had been talking to her for more than a minute. "If he makes the first move, fine. But…"
"But what?"
"But I value my friends too much. If you're wrong - and I have no doubt that you are - then that would make things very awkward."
"Nothing's awkward between us, yet it would be different with Jander/"
"You're Eckerd."
"Never overlook the obvious, I say."
Pa'das grinned. "Nothing could make being around you uncomfortable because you've always got something funny to say to ease the tension. But Jander… I'm not willing to risk it."
"By the gods!" Eckerd exploded. "The two of you!" He lowered his tone as he noticed people looking at them. "Both of you are too damned worried to take any chances. I doubt either of you has ever taken a chance on anything before! You two are nuts! You know, Jander has exactly the same fears, which is why he hasn't made any moves. If this continues, nothing will ever happen!"
"What's with this all of a sudden? Less than half an hour ago, you were hitting on me. Explain this." Pa'das was curious and mystified. It seemed strange to her, this abrupt change of moods. Of course, with Eckerd, even the strangest things had good reasons backing them.
"Yeah, well, you shot me down, and I'm not as persistent in matters of the heart as with everything else. I get turned down once, and I'm done unless the other person makes the next move. But, I'm not kidding. Jander really likes you. Take the chance."
"No. End of discussion." Pa'das stood up to leave. She was mad by now. "I'm tired. Goodnight Eckerd."
Eckerd watched as she disappeared up the stairs. That had been a totally failed conversation. He shrugged. There was nothing he could do. The two were complete fools. They would, in their own time, eventually see the light. He hoped.
* *
* * *
Pa'das stormed up to Jander's room. Eckerd never knew when to leave well enough alone! She wasn't quite sure why she was so mad at him. He was merely looking out for what he thought their best interests were, trying to make his friends happy. Still, it was none of his business!
Pa'das knocked on Jander's door and went in. He was sitting in a chair, intent on his carving. A beautiful centaur was taking form, emerging almost magically from the block of wood like a nymph from water. It almost looked like it was crying for someone to rescue it from the rest of its wooden prison, like it would come to life any moment. Pa'das waited until Jander paused in his carving, not wanting to disturb his concentration.
"It's beautiful," she said when he looked up.
He scowled down at the carving. "Not one of my better ones."
Pa'das laughed, softly so as not to wake Korrieana. "That's what you say about every single one."
Jander smiled and looked up at her. He noted the shadowed look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
Pa'das shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Eckerd's just being an ass." She hoped that would be enough to placate him.
"About what?" Jander immediately asked, worried that Eckerd was spilling his secrets in an attempt to help.
Pa'das thought fast to come up with a good lie. "Oh, you know. He just doesn't know when to stop asking questions." There, that wasn't a lie; she just wasn't exactly answering his question. It wasn't her fault if Jander assumed she was answering it.
Jander smiled, greatly relieved. Pa'das stood for a moment, considering whether to reveal her feelings to Jander - and pray that Eckerd was right - or just take Korrieana and go back to her room.
"I just came to get Korrieana," she finally said. "I'll let you get back to your work." She gently picked up the baby, cradling her in her arms.
Jander wouldn't have minded her presence, would have enjoyed her company. But, he could see that she had just reached some sort of decision and needed to go to her own room. He didn't know what kind of decision Pa'das had come to, and didn't think he really wanted to know.
"Goodnight then, Pa'das. Sweet dreams."
"'Night Jander."
Back in her own room, Pa'das put Korrieana on the bed. The babe hadn't woken up. She sat on the end of the bed, thinking. In Jander's room, in the middle of the debate with herself, she had come to a realization, an epiphany. She was terrified.
She was terrified of being in any relationship beyond simple friendship. Her experience with Sarrasor had left her scarred. Scarred and scared. Rationally, she knew Jander wasn't like that. He was sweet and soft-spoken and gentle, even though he was a vampire. But, Sarrasor had been her first and only 'love', physically and spiritually. Abuse was the only treatment she knew. Not all wounds heal, Pa'das had learned, and this was one of those wounds. Sarrasor, too, had appeared a genuinely nice man when they were just friends. How could she be completely certain Jander wouldn't change? She knew, as well as she knew that the sun would rise tomorrow, that Jander wouldn't. But still….
Pa'das sighed. She had no idea what to do about this irrational fear. It appeared to her that she would die with only one bad experience of what she had thought to be love. If she could not trust her heart to even Jander, who was the person least likely to do anything to her, then her future was bleak.
This did explain why she was so mad at Eckerd. She was mad the way a frightened animal was mad. What he was saying - that Jander might love her, too - terrified her. It terrified her more than she would admit, even in this soul-searching moment. It was hard for the proud Pa'das to admit she was afraid of anything, even to herself.
This deep thinking that Pa'das had done tired her. She was exhausted, and lay down next to Korrieana. She would trust herself to wake up when the baby did, so she wouldn't fall off the bed. Pa'das really went to bed to escape from her thoughts, as much as from exhaustion. She blew out the candle next to the bed, plunging the room into complete darkness. Pa'das waited for the oblivion of sleep to claim her.