Alonzo opened one eye and peered down the alley, trying to locate the source of the sound which had woken him up. It wasn't that side so he opened the other eye. Aha! It was a rat scrabbling in the rubbish for food and squeaking to itself at the same time. He got ready to pounce.
Tasty, he thought, cleaning his whiskers and making sure there was no blood or rat-fur where it shouldn't be.
When he'd finished his gaze fell upon the discarded human coat he'd slept on that night. It was more of a jacket than a coat really, beige in colour, soft and a bit fuzzy.
"It'll make a good bed", he thought as he grabbed a corner of it in his mouth and pulled it away from the rubbish. He had to take care not to catch it on anything as he climbed over the back wall of the alley. He preferred the service-roads behind the shops and restaurants to the busy streets where sharp heels and heavy boots, not to mention cars, were the enemy of many a cat. He was glad the weather had been good so there was no mud to make his jacket dirty.
He'd been walking for some minutes and had just turned the corner at the end of the service-road when he was jerked backwards. He turned slowly, immediately arching his back and fluffing out his fur as he saw what had stopped him. There was a foot on his jacket. A human foot by the look of it. Under normal circumstances he'd have run at the first sight of a human, but he had a jacket to protect. Still gripping it in his teeth he growled and looked up from the foot to a leg, then a chest and finally a face. Oddly enough, it was smiling.
"Get off," Alonzo said in a muffled meow. "I found it first. Get your own."
The man chuckled at the cat and crouched down. Alonzo dug his teeth further into his jacket and hissed as well as he could without dropping it. He was startled when the man's hand suddenly appeared in front of his nose, but it stayed still, so he relaxed a little. Slowly he leaned forward and sniffed at the hand. It didn't smell dangerous so he waited for the man to release his jacket. Instead he had to settle for being tickled behind the ear. It had been a long time since a human had done that and he allowed himself to purr quietly.He didn't notice the human reach an arm around him, but as the man stood up Alonzo screamed with the shock of being lifted five feet in the air.
He dropped his jacket. He struggled, but the man held him securely and stroked his head to calm him down. "So you're the stray that's been sniffing round my dustbins?"
Alonzo stopped struggling. "Your dustbins? What do you mean? Rubbish doesn't belong to anyone 'til it's taken out of the 'bin. Everyone knows tha - Hey!"
The man had picked up Alonzo's jacket. "What do you want this old thing for?"
"A bed, it's comfortable."
"I can get you something better than this, puss."
"Like what?"
"You see that restaurant over there?"
"Yeah, I'm taking Cassandra there on Friday."
"It's mine."
"Really? And I'm the magical Mister Mistoffelees."
"So if you like you can come home with me and have all the leftovers you like."
"Leftovers? Is that all I'm worth?" Alonzo cocked his head to one side, "Where's home?"
"Come on," said the man, carrying Alonzo over to another dustbin and leaving the jacket on top of it. "I live just around the corner."
"Hey! Give that back!"
"What?" asked the man, looking from the cat to the jacket and back to the cat again. "You really like this thing?"
"Yes."
The man picked it up and examined it. "It's not too bad, just needs a wash. You can keep it."
"Who do you think you are? My mother?"
"How old are you anyway?" asked the man, amused at the sad look in the cat's eyes when he'd seen his jacket left behind.
"Two. What's that got to do with anything?"
The man simply laughed again and made sure Alonzo was secure in his arms as they made their way home.
2. Home Sweet HomeThe man walked for about five minutes before turning into the driveway of a pretty, semi-detached house. Alonzo watched as he put a metal stick in a hole in the door, turned it and pushed the door open. After stamping his feet on the floor the man closed the door behind them. He crouched down to release the cat, but the floor-covering was unfamiliar to Alonzo so he dug his claws into the man's coat.
"What's the matter?"
"Um…nothing. I'm fine."
"All right. I'll keep a hold of you for now."
Alonzo leant against the man's chest with relief.
A woman appeared in the doorway at the end of the room. "What are you doing with that cat, Mike?"
"I found him in the alleyway behind the restaurant. I've seen him around before and I'm sure he's a stray so I thought we could give him a home. What do you think?"
She came closer and tickled Alonzo under the chin, making him purr again. "I think he's gorgeous, but the poor thing's so skinny. I'll cut up some of that chicken for him."
Mike grinned. "I thought you'd like him, Sarah. Now, what shall we call him?"
Alonzo's ears pricked up at this. He didn't want a silly name like some of the other cats' humans had given them. Sarah came to the door of the kitchen with a saucer of diced chicken and beckoned Mike to bring Alonzo over. She put the saucer on the floor and Alonzo forgot his fear of the unknown carpet, or ceramic tiling in this case, and was only too happy to be let go. While the cat had his second breakfast Sarah ran up the stairs to look for something. Mike watched Alonzo as he made short work of the food and a minute later Sarah re-appeared holding a book.
"Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats." she announced. "There's a poem about The Naming of Cats, it's very important." She sat down and read the poem out loud. Mike sat opposite her and Alonzo occupied the floor in between. When Sarah read out his name he squeezed his eyes shut and mewed in delight. Mike gave him an odd look and when Sarah finished she asked, "What do you think?"
"He seemed to like it."
"Have you got any ideas for a name?"
"I dunno." He looked at the cat's face, "How about "Patch?"
"Patch?!" spat both woman and cat simultaneously, "That's a dog's name!"
"All right then, you think of something."
"He meowed when I said the name "Alonzo", but it says no two cats should have the same name, so we can't call him that."
"So much for trying to tell you what my real name is. I don't know why I bother."
Sarah examined Alonzo, taking in all of his markings. Her eyes fell on the small black patch on the side of his mouth. The white spots made it look like a…
"Domino?"
"That's nice. What do you think, puss?"
Alonzo thought it over. Domino. It had a nice ring to it. "It'll do."
"That's that then," said Mike, standing up. "We need to go shopping."
"We do?" asked Sarah and Alonzo.
"Yes, he'll be needing lots of stuff. Food for a start. And a bed, litter tray, one of those things to take him to the vet in."
"Yes, but we can't leave him here on his own."
"Hang on a sec'! Litter tray? Vet?" Alonzo had heard of those before and they weren't good. "And you're not even taking me with you? I knew this was too good to last." He lay down and rested his chin on his front paws while Mike and Sarah fussed around him.
"I'll go and see if Mrs. White'll come and look after him for a bit."
"Look after me?! I'm a cat. We're independent."
"Good idea, Mike, we don't want him getting lonely." Sarah knelt down beside him and said, "Okay, Domino? We're just going out for a bit. We'll be back soon. Mrs. White's got a couple of cats of her own, you'll like her."
"She's got cats too? I might know them, what're their names?"
A few minutes later Mike returned with a grey-haired woman in her mid-sixties. Mike and Sarah left and Mrs. White turned the television on quietly.
"You know, Domino, I've got a couple of cats about your age."
"Sarah said you did. What're their names?"
"Tony and Cleo, I call them. Twins they are, always together. Very quiet, but cuddly. I doubt you'd get on though, cats never do. Even Tony and Cleo have their spats."
"Tony and Cleo. Twins, quiet, always together. They sound like Coricopat and Tantomile, can I meet them?"
Mrs. White ignored his question and took a small, purple box out of her handbag. She gave it a shake and soon Alonzo forgot all about the cats next door.
3. Strange New World"We're back!" Sarah's voice rang throughout the house, jerking Alonzo and Mrs. White awake. Mrs. White looked embarrassed at having been caught asleep, but Alonzo merely opened his eyes, glared at Sarah from his position in the older woman's lap, and went back to sleep.
"Oh. Sorry," said Sarah, wondering how the old woman had gained the cat's trust so quickly. Her question was answered when Mrs. White picked up the purple box and shook it near the floor. Alonzo jumped down and she was able to stand up and go home to "see to Tony and Cleo". Mike and Sarah put down the things they'd been carrying and Alonzo found himself surrounded on all sides by boxes and carrier-bags. For a moment he didn't know what to do, but then he remembered why he'd jumped onto the floor in the first place. He looked up to see Mike waving the box. He made a grab for it, but Mike only laughed when Alonzo missed and landed in a heap on top of one of the bags.
"Well, are you going to shake it at me all day or are you going to give me some?"
"Mike, stop teasing him. Either give him something or put the box down."
"Yes, Mummy." He shook a few of the little treats from the box and held his hand out to Alonzo who wolfed them down and licked Mike's palm clean of any crumbs. "Stop it, that tickles."
"Come on, we've got lots to show him."
"Where do you want to start?"
"The food I suppose."
Mike picked Alonzo up and carried him into the kitchen while Sarah piled tins up in a cupboard above the sink. Mike pointed at them, "They're for you."
"All of them?!"
"Not all at once though, don't get any ideas."
"Oh." He took a good look at the tins and the location of the cupboard. "Hey, that cat looks like Munkustrap!"
"I read an article about this cat," said Sarah. "They said he did lots of poses so they could use a different picture for each type of food. His name's Sebastian."
"Sebastian," Alonzo repeated to himself. "Good name."
Mike put Alonzo on the floor and opened a sack that was twice the cat's size. Then Sarah put a plastic tray in a secluded corner near the door and Mike filled it with gravel from the sack.
Alonzo watched in horror. "Don't tell me. You want me to use that as a toilet?"
"There you go, Domino, your own facilities."
"You are joking. I don't go inside. That what soil's for."
"We don't want you using the flowerbeds."
Alonzo stalked out of the kitchen with a flick of his tail. "Consider it my contribution to the gardening."
"Wait!" said Sarah. "You haven't seen the food bowls yet."
"Let me guess," Alonzo said as the humans followed him into the living room, "they're plastic and bowl-shaped? I can wait 'til lunchtime."
"There're only a few bits left," said Mike. He opened up one of the larger boxes and pulled out a cat-carrier made of heavy-duty plastic. He put it on the floor and Alonzo hissed at it, backing away slowly as if he thought any sudden movements on his part would attract its attention. He'd seen those things before. Every so often the people from the RSPCA came to the junkyard to round up the stray cats and he had often been taken to the pound, only being released when the owned cats launched a rescue mission. He had no desire to be near one.
Sarah crouched down and stroked Alonzo's back. "It's all right, Dom, it's only for when we go to the vet."
"Only? I'm not going anywhere in that!"
Mike put the carrier on top of a cupboard in the hallway and Alonzo resolved to keep an eye on it.
"What's next?" asked Mike.
"The scratching post," said Sarah.
"The what?" asked Alonzo.
"Oh yes," said Mike. He opened another box and pulled out a carpet-covered pole that was attached to a carpet-covered square. He looked around the room before putting it near the television. Then he turned to Alonzo and pointed a finger at him.
"If you want to sharpen your claws, use that. Don't touch the carpet or the furniture."
"Furniture?" Alonzo looked up at Mike. "You're losing me. First you want me to go to the toilet in a tray and now you want me to sharpen my claws on a pole that's covered with the same stuff as the floor, but you don't want me to touch the floor. Can't I just carry on using tree trunks?" He lay down and sighed, "This is all too weird."
"Perhaps we should move on," said Sarah.
"Right. Well, we got you some toys."
Alonzo raised an eyebrow. "Toys? Do I look like a kitten to you?" He stood up and stretched. "What kind of toys?"
"We've got a couple of foam balls, a plastic ball with a bell inside, and a catnip mouse."
"Balls…bells…catnip mouse, you say? I know I'm not meant to like these things, but let's have a look."
Mike threw the balls and mouse across the floor and Alonzo tried to catch them as they rolled past him. He picked up the mouse with his front paws and sniffed it. The catnip sent a bolt of electricity though him and he leapt up, twisted round in mid-air and, upon landing, shook his head a few times before trying to chase the mouse. That didn't work since it was still attached to his claws, but it gave Mike and Sarah a laugh.
"Good thing we didn't get him the catnip-filled scratching post."
Alonzo stopped and shook his head, trying to focus and stop the room from spinning. Sarah tried to stop giggling. "At least he likes something. Shall we try the collar on now?"
"You mean while he's mellow enough to let us put it on him?" Mike reached down and dislodged the mouse from Alonzo's paw, then lifted the cat into his arms.
"We've got something else to show you, Dom."
"Uh-huh." Alonzo shook his head again. "What is it?"
"A collar!" Sarah pulled a black velvet strip out of a bag and held it out for Alonzo to sniff. "It's elasticated so if you get it caught on something you can get it off."
"Good idea."
"And it's got a tag with your name on the front and our name, address and phone number on the back, in case you get lost."
"Like I could reach a phone even if I did get lost? At least it'll keep the people from the pound off my back."
Sarah fastened the collar around the cat's neck and he shook himself to settle it.
"Only one thing left now, Dom. I think you'll like this," said Mike, opening up another box and pulling out a mass of material. He carried it into the kitchen and put it in front of the radiator next to the doorway. Alonzo followed him and began investigating while Mike went back into the living room for the jacket Alonzo had slept on the night before. Alonzo wasn't impressed by the sterile, synthetic smell of what he supposed was meant to be a bed of some kind. It was a strange shape too; round with a sunk bit in the middle.
"It's a doughnut." said Sarah. "A cat-doughnut. It's very soft."
"When we've washed your jacket it can go in there as a lining. What do you think?"
"I think I prefer my jacket unwashed."
Alonzo made his way back into the living room, picked his mouse up in his mouth and peered inside the box the cat-doughnut had come from. He dropped the mouse inside, hopped in and lay down.
Mike and Sarah stared down into the box at the cat who lay in a squashed ball, clutching his toy mouse to his chest. Alonzo gave the humans a look of condescension, covered his eyes with his free paw and went to sleep.
Mike was the first to find his voice, "If we made him sleep in that we'd be done for cruelty."
"I suppose we'd better clear up the rest of the boxes, then."
~
The next morning Alonzo woke up much earlier than the humans seemed used to, judging by the words they threw at him when he asked for breakfast. In addition to that they gave him two pawfuls of butter and an audience as he licked it off. Mike then cut a hole in the back door and put a plastic thing called a "cat-flap" in it. Once he'd finished he gave the cat a lecture about coming home each day so as not to worry people and finally Alonzo was allowed to go out.
He went straight to the junkyard. It was still too early for there to be many cats around, but he knew at least his mother would be there; there was always so much for a Lilliecat to be doing. As soon as Alonzo reached the 'yard he ran over to the oven and yelled for her to come out.
"What is it, dear?"
"Can't you tell?"
"Tell what?"
Alonzo lifted his head higher.
"Oh! You've got a collar. Found yourself some humans? What are they like?"
"They're all right. They're friendly and they gave me loads of stuff, but they're a bit weird."
"How so?"
Alonzo leaned close to the older cat and whispered, "They want me to go to the toilet in a tray and sleep in a doughnut."
"Yes, humans are like that, but don't worry. Remember, you don't have to do any of that if you don't want to. That's why God gave them gardens and beds big enough for a cat or two."
"That's what I thought."
"So, where do they live?"
"Near the road with the restaurants on. He owns one."
"Who does?"
"Mike."
"Who?"
"One of my humans."
"Oh, I see! That's nice."
"Yes," he said, thinking, Why can't she be more enthusiastic?
Soon the other cats began to arrive and Jellylorum was needed to watch over the kittens.
"Well, dear, I'd better get on now. Why don't you go and find your friends?"
"Okay," he said as she went about her business.
Alonzo walked around the junkyard to see what was going on and found things to be much the same as usual. He told the other cats about his new family, but so many of them had their own human families that it wasn't newsworthy. They just smiled and continued with what they were doing. The only other cat who paid him any attention was Munkustrap, who ran up to him and yelled, "So, you decided to show your face at last! Where have you been? Are you wearing a collar?"
"Yes, I am. I was at home with my family yesterday."
"Family?"
"Yes, my human family. I got adopted yesterday before I could come to the junkyard and they only let me out this morning. That's why I'm wearing a collar."
"Oh," said Munkustrap, "sorry. Humans can be annoying like that. Come on, we've got things to do."
~
By sunset Alonzo's boredom was mind-numbing and he was glad he could make his excuses and leave. As he made his way home his mind was full of thoughts about the last two days. It had all happened so quickly. Until the day before yesterday he'd have had to stand guard all evening and then go in search of an empty alleyway if he wanted peace and quiet. When he reached the house he stopped and sat on the pavement for a moment, just looking at it. His house. He walked around the back to the cat-flap and stepped into the kitchen.
"There you are, dear!"
He looked up and saw Jellylorum winding her way through the legs of humans and the kitchen table to reach him.
"Come and have something to eat, there's plenty."
"What? What's going on?"
Before Jellylorum got a chance to explain Sarah appeared and lifted Alonzo up. "Hi, Dom, glad you could make it. There are lots of people here to see you. Some of your friends too."
"There are? Why?"
"Because they want their friends to meet you," Jellylorum answered from the floor.
"Why?"
"Because they want to show you off."
"But…why?!"
"You and your questions! How am I to know why? You said it yourself, dear, humans are weird."
And so he was carried all over the living room and introduced to Sarah and Mikes' parents, friends, neighbours and the staff of Mike's restaurant. He was eventually returned to the floor where he tried to find Jellylorum.
"She went back to the kitchen."
Alonzo whirled round. "Cori?!"
"Yes, why so surprised?"
"I…I don't know."
"Relax," said Tantomile as she appeared beside her twin and put down the pair of sardines she'd been carrying. "They're having a party in your honour, the least you could do is enjoy yourself. Sardine? Sorry, Cori, you'll have to get your own."
"Thanks," said Alonzo. He and Tantomile ate the fish while Coricopat went to the kitchen in search of more food. He came back a few minutes later accompanied by Jellylorum, Munkustrap and Cassandra, who'd just arrived. The toms were carrying a piece of kitchen-roll between them and on it were perched six chicken-filled vol-au-vents.
"Are you enjoying yourself yet?" asked Coricopat.
"Yes," Alonzo said defensively. "What are you lot doing here anyway?"
"We live next door," said Tantomile, "our human's here somewhere".
"I was right, then, you're Tony and Cleo."
"The very same," said Coricopat.
"Except we don't get milk baths."
"And Tantomile gave us the address so we came to see how you were getting on," said Munkustrap.
"Thanks," Alonzo said again, relaxing at last as he realised that his friends did care.
Then it hit him, there was no need to have been surprised by the party. Being a stray for so long he'd forgotten that humans had once worshipped cats. There was no reason why that practice should've stopped. It was simply the "evidences of respect" that Old Deuteronomy so often told them about. Mike and Sarah were doing quite well so far.
With his tail held high he left the other cats and made his way to the kitchen for another vol-au-vent.