No Reason To Go on
Part 2: Confrontation
Rachel made her way silently out of Monica's bedroom, being careful not to make a sound. She stopped just outside the bathroom, hearing sounds coming from inside it. She hesitantly put her hand on the halfway opened door, and pulled it all the way open.
The site that greeted her made her blood run cold. Ross was kneeling on the floor, vomiting into the toilet. Rachel was about to go to him, but she wasn't sure what to say.
To her relief, he finally stopped and got shakily to his feet. He moved to look in the mirror, and Rachel silently entered the bathroom. She stood next to him, but he was to absorbed in staring at himself to take any notice of her.
"Wh-why am I doing this to myself?" He sounded out of breath and his voice was shaking.
He returned to the toilet a moment later, and stayed there for about 15 minutes. Rachel had to look away; it made her feel sick just to watch it. Finally, Ross made his way out of the room, never having seen Rachel still standing there.
Rachel followed him, forgetting about wanting a drink of water. He walked into his bedroom, a room that Rachel had never been in before.
She hesitated for a moment, before walking in behind him. He collapsed on his bed, and Rachel had to clamp her hand over her mouth to silence her gasp. Ross's arm was spread out on the bed, and by the lamp on his nightstand, Rachel saw the recently slashed open skin.
She didn't want to watch anymore. She couldn't watch anymore. She walked back to Monica's bedroom, shocked and concerned over what she'd just seen.
The next day at breakfast, Ross looked tired and pale. Rachel watched him worriedly from her spot next to Monica.
"Ross, are you all right?" Judy asked, also watching her son.
"Fine," Ross muttered, not looking up from where he was picking at his eggs.
"Are you sure?" Rachel found herself unexpectedly chipping into the conversation.
Ross did look up at the sound of her voice, but quickly looked away. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Rach, want to go to the mall today?" Monica piped up on Rachel's other side.
"Maybe," Rachel said distractedly.
She didn't care what Ross said, she'd seen him last night, and knew that he wasn't all right. Luckily for her, Monica didn't seem to notice. She was to intent on stealing her brother's uneaten eggs to pay any attention to anything else.
A few minutes later, Ross got up from the table, quietly excusing himself. Rachel watched him go outside, and decided to follow.
"Hey Mon, I'm gonna be outside, wanna meet me out there?"
"Mmm," Monica muttered through a mouthful of Ross's eggs.
Rachel pushed her chair back, with out saying another word, and walked out to the Geller's backyard. Ross was laying on the grass, staring off into space. He hadn't noticed Rachel yet, and she was glad.
She knew she had to talk to him, to yell at him, to try and help him, but what could she say? 'Oh hi there Ross, I saw you vomiting last night at 3AM, are you okay?' Nice.
But she didn't have any more time to think about what to say, for at that moment Ross looked in her direction. "Oh hi, Rach." He said distractedly.
"Hey," she flopped down beside him, at a loss for words once again.
She looked at him, looking for something to bring up the topic, and found one almost at once. His arm was a few feet away from her, and he'd taken off the light jacket he'd worn at breakfast.
"So, did you cut yourself shaving again?" The sarcasm in her voice was evident, and Ross turned towards her once again.
"Wh-what?"
She gestured to his bare arm, and the slashes across it. He gasped and hastily grabbed the jack from his other side, but revealed his other arm in the process.
"Why'd you do that?" Her tone changed from sarcastic to concern.
"Y-you wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"I don't have to! You don't know how I feel. You're not looked at as the son who gets perfect grades, or the Geeky older brother, or the Geeky senior who can't even run 10 laps with out breaking a sweat!" He was shaking now, and Rachel had d feeling it wasn't to do with the cold.
She wasn't sure what to say to that, so silence fell between them once again. Finally, Rachel risked bringing up the other thing that worried her.
"What about last night? That didn't seem like a normal stomach flue."
"You saw that?" Ross's expression turned from anger to fear, and then to embarrassment.
"Yeah. I was standing there the whole time." Rachel fought hard to keep the catch out of her voice.
"The Coach wanted me to lose weight." Ross said simply. "Look Rachel, you can't tell anyone about all this."
Rachel's concern was replaced with anger. "What?? Are you crazy?! Ross, you can't treat something like that so casually, it's dangerous! And slitting your wrists." Rachel's outburst was interrupted as she heard Monica opening the door. "You immature pervert! No I will not go out with you!" She snapped at Ross, as Monica walked over to them.
"What, was Ross trying to ask you out again?" She took no notice of her brother's condition.
"Yeah," Rachel lied quickly. "H-he wanted to know if. if I would go out for pizza with him tonight, and then we could come back here for desert." She shot Ross a glare, but then when Monica's back was turned it turned into a look of concern once again.
"C'mon," Monica giggled. "Let's go to the mall." She turned back towards the house.
"I'll be right there," Rachel said as the door closed behind her friend. "Seriously Ross, think about what I said."
With those last few words, Rachel too walked into the house. She wasn't completely satisfied with her little talk with Ross, but there wasn't anything else she could do about it for the moment.
Ross watched the door close behind Rachel, and picked up the jacket again. Pulling it back on, he too headed for the house and the pocketknife.
But as he climbed the stairs and headed towards the bathroom, Rachel's parting words echoed in his head once again. He pushed them away however, and walked into the once again deserted bathroom.
A few moments later, the blade of the knife was coated with a new layer of blood, and Ross's wrists were bleeding more then ever. He panted, but his work wasn't done. Walking once again to the toilet, he forced himself to throw up what little breakfast he'd consumed.
By the time he was finished, there were tears in his eyes.
He couldn't stop, he had to do this. He had to show people that there was more to Ross Geller then straight A's and Geeky looks. And maybe if he proved to Rachel that he could take care of himself, she would think of him differently.
After cleaning up the bathroom, Ross headed back downstairs. "I'm going out for a while," he called to his parents before slamming the door and heading for his beat up minivan.
Three hours later, Ross pulled back up to his house, sweating and feeling lightheaded. It was approaching 2PM, and Ross usually ate lunch around 12. None of that, he told himself firmly as he walked through the door. You're going up to workout some more.
"Ross, you missed lunch!" Judy called as he headed for the stairs.
"Not hungry!" Ross called back, not waiting for a response.
Walking into his room, he collapsed on the floor and started doing pushups. But things became blurry soon after he'd reached 50, and Ross had to fight to remain conscious let alone to keep dong the exercise.
"Mon, I'll be right back!" He heard a feminine voice call. He switched to sit-ups as feet could be heard walking briskly up the stairs.
He heard Monica's door open, then close a few seconds later. He then heard a sharp intake of breath, and stopped to turn and face the doorway.
Rachel was standing there, a makeup compact clutched tightly in her hands. "Wh-what are you doing?"
"Exercising," her voice had been barely a whisper, and Ross had to struggle to talk at all.
"Don't be stupid, you look like you're about to pass out!" Rachel walked fully into the room and pulled Ross by the arm to his feet. He couldn't stop the small gasp of pain from escaping his lips, and she quickly released his arm to see what the problem was.
"I thought you were going to stop doing that!" She cried, rolling back the sleeve of his sweat-soaked jacket and seeing the freshly made cut.
Ross didn't answer, though he tried to. His lips didn't seem to want to move, and things started to swirl around him once again
His knees buckled, and he collapsed into Rachel's arms, losing consciousness soon after.
The younger girl let out a sound between a scream and a strangled sob, and pulled Ross's motionless body onto his bed. She was frozen there for a moment, before she sat down beside him. She looked at him, and felt tears prick at her eyes.
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice broke as she whispered the words, and not surprisingly got no reply from Ross.
"Rachel?!" Monica's feet could be heard pounding up the stairs. Rachel quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to face the open door.
An out of breath Monica entered, panting from just the effort of running up the stairs. "What are you doing?" She asked Rachel, taking in the scene before her.
"Oh, I was just seeing if he was okay." Rachel lied again. She didn't know why she was doing this, she should be telling Monica about everything, not lying. But something was keeping her from telling her, and Rachel for some unknown reason listened to it.
"I just found him like this when I came up," she explained to Monica.
"Oh, he's probably fine," Monica said lightly. "C'mon, let's go do those make overs!"
Monica bounced excitedly out of the room, and Rachel got up to follow. But as she left the room, she glanced one last time at Ross. She was going to find out a way to help him if it killed her, and do it soon.
[A/N
Well, another part finished. I tried to make this one a little longer, I hope you all like it.
The R&Rness should be picking up soon, if I can think of any other ideas. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!
Cya, and don't forget those reviews!
L_angel]
Part 2: Confrontation
Rachel made her way silently out of Monica's bedroom, being careful not to make a sound. She stopped just outside the bathroom, hearing sounds coming from inside it. She hesitantly put her hand on the halfway opened door, and pulled it all the way open.
The site that greeted her made her blood run cold. Ross was kneeling on the floor, vomiting into the toilet. Rachel was about to go to him, but she wasn't sure what to say.
To her relief, he finally stopped and got shakily to his feet. He moved to look in the mirror, and Rachel silently entered the bathroom. She stood next to him, but he was to absorbed in staring at himself to take any notice of her.
"Wh-why am I doing this to myself?" He sounded out of breath and his voice was shaking.
He returned to the toilet a moment later, and stayed there for about 15 minutes. Rachel had to look away; it made her feel sick just to watch it. Finally, Ross made his way out of the room, never having seen Rachel still standing there.
Rachel followed him, forgetting about wanting a drink of water. He walked into his bedroom, a room that Rachel had never been in before.
She hesitated for a moment, before walking in behind him. He collapsed on his bed, and Rachel had to clamp her hand over her mouth to silence her gasp. Ross's arm was spread out on the bed, and by the lamp on his nightstand, Rachel saw the recently slashed open skin.
She didn't want to watch anymore. She couldn't watch anymore. She walked back to Monica's bedroom, shocked and concerned over what she'd just seen.
The next day at breakfast, Ross looked tired and pale. Rachel watched him worriedly from her spot next to Monica.
"Ross, are you all right?" Judy asked, also watching her son.
"Fine," Ross muttered, not looking up from where he was picking at his eggs.
"Are you sure?" Rachel found herself unexpectedly chipping into the conversation.
Ross did look up at the sound of her voice, but quickly looked away. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Rach, want to go to the mall today?" Monica piped up on Rachel's other side.
"Maybe," Rachel said distractedly.
She didn't care what Ross said, she'd seen him last night, and knew that he wasn't all right. Luckily for her, Monica didn't seem to notice. She was to intent on stealing her brother's uneaten eggs to pay any attention to anything else.
A few minutes later, Ross got up from the table, quietly excusing himself. Rachel watched him go outside, and decided to follow.
"Hey Mon, I'm gonna be outside, wanna meet me out there?"
"Mmm," Monica muttered through a mouthful of Ross's eggs.
Rachel pushed her chair back, with out saying another word, and walked out to the Geller's backyard. Ross was laying on the grass, staring off into space. He hadn't noticed Rachel yet, and she was glad.
She knew she had to talk to him, to yell at him, to try and help him, but what could she say? 'Oh hi there Ross, I saw you vomiting last night at 3AM, are you okay?' Nice.
But she didn't have any more time to think about what to say, for at that moment Ross looked in her direction. "Oh hi, Rach." He said distractedly.
"Hey," she flopped down beside him, at a loss for words once again.
She looked at him, looking for something to bring up the topic, and found one almost at once. His arm was a few feet away from her, and he'd taken off the light jacket he'd worn at breakfast.
"So, did you cut yourself shaving again?" The sarcasm in her voice was evident, and Ross turned towards her once again.
"Wh-what?"
She gestured to his bare arm, and the slashes across it. He gasped and hastily grabbed the jack from his other side, but revealed his other arm in the process.
"Why'd you do that?" Her tone changed from sarcastic to concern.
"Y-you wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"I don't have to! You don't know how I feel. You're not looked at as the son who gets perfect grades, or the Geeky older brother, or the Geeky senior who can't even run 10 laps with out breaking a sweat!" He was shaking now, and Rachel had d feeling it wasn't to do with the cold.
She wasn't sure what to say to that, so silence fell between them once again. Finally, Rachel risked bringing up the other thing that worried her.
"What about last night? That didn't seem like a normal stomach flue."
"You saw that?" Ross's expression turned from anger to fear, and then to embarrassment.
"Yeah. I was standing there the whole time." Rachel fought hard to keep the catch out of her voice.
"The Coach wanted me to lose weight." Ross said simply. "Look Rachel, you can't tell anyone about all this."
Rachel's concern was replaced with anger. "What?? Are you crazy?! Ross, you can't treat something like that so casually, it's dangerous! And slitting your wrists." Rachel's outburst was interrupted as she heard Monica opening the door. "You immature pervert! No I will not go out with you!" She snapped at Ross, as Monica walked over to them.
"What, was Ross trying to ask you out again?" She took no notice of her brother's condition.
"Yeah," Rachel lied quickly. "H-he wanted to know if. if I would go out for pizza with him tonight, and then we could come back here for desert." She shot Ross a glare, but then when Monica's back was turned it turned into a look of concern once again.
"C'mon," Monica giggled. "Let's go to the mall." She turned back towards the house.
"I'll be right there," Rachel said as the door closed behind her friend. "Seriously Ross, think about what I said."
With those last few words, Rachel too walked into the house. She wasn't completely satisfied with her little talk with Ross, but there wasn't anything else she could do about it for the moment.
Ross watched the door close behind Rachel, and picked up the jacket again. Pulling it back on, he too headed for the house and the pocketknife.
But as he climbed the stairs and headed towards the bathroom, Rachel's parting words echoed in his head once again. He pushed them away however, and walked into the once again deserted bathroom.
A few moments later, the blade of the knife was coated with a new layer of blood, and Ross's wrists were bleeding more then ever. He panted, but his work wasn't done. Walking once again to the toilet, he forced himself to throw up what little breakfast he'd consumed.
By the time he was finished, there were tears in his eyes.
He couldn't stop, he had to do this. He had to show people that there was more to Ross Geller then straight A's and Geeky looks. And maybe if he proved to Rachel that he could take care of himself, she would think of him differently.
After cleaning up the bathroom, Ross headed back downstairs. "I'm going out for a while," he called to his parents before slamming the door and heading for his beat up minivan.
Three hours later, Ross pulled back up to his house, sweating and feeling lightheaded. It was approaching 2PM, and Ross usually ate lunch around 12. None of that, he told himself firmly as he walked through the door. You're going up to workout some more.
"Ross, you missed lunch!" Judy called as he headed for the stairs.
"Not hungry!" Ross called back, not waiting for a response.
Walking into his room, he collapsed on the floor and started doing pushups. But things became blurry soon after he'd reached 50, and Ross had to fight to remain conscious let alone to keep dong the exercise.
"Mon, I'll be right back!" He heard a feminine voice call. He switched to sit-ups as feet could be heard walking briskly up the stairs.
He heard Monica's door open, then close a few seconds later. He then heard a sharp intake of breath, and stopped to turn and face the doorway.
Rachel was standing there, a makeup compact clutched tightly in her hands. "Wh-what are you doing?"
"Exercising," her voice had been barely a whisper, and Ross had to struggle to talk at all.
"Don't be stupid, you look like you're about to pass out!" Rachel walked fully into the room and pulled Ross by the arm to his feet. He couldn't stop the small gasp of pain from escaping his lips, and she quickly released his arm to see what the problem was.
"I thought you were going to stop doing that!" She cried, rolling back the sleeve of his sweat-soaked jacket and seeing the freshly made cut.
Ross didn't answer, though he tried to. His lips didn't seem to want to move, and things started to swirl around him once again
His knees buckled, and he collapsed into Rachel's arms, losing consciousness soon after.
The younger girl let out a sound between a scream and a strangled sob, and pulled Ross's motionless body onto his bed. She was frozen there for a moment, before she sat down beside him. She looked at him, and felt tears prick at her eyes.
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice broke as she whispered the words, and not surprisingly got no reply from Ross.
"Rachel?!" Monica's feet could be heard pounding up the stairs. Rachel quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to face the open door.
An out of breath Monica entered, panting from just the effort of running up the stairs. "What are you doing?" She asked Rachel, taking in the scene before her.
"Oh, I was just seeing if he was okay." Rachel lied again. She didn't know why she was doing this, she should be telling Monica about everything, not lying. But something was keeping her from telling her, and Rachel for some unknown reason listened to it.
"I just found him like this when I came up," she explained to Monica.
"Oh, he's probably fine," Monica said lightly. "C'mon, let's go do those make overs!"
Monica bounced excitedly out of the room, and Rachel got up to follow. But as she left the room, she glanced one last time at Ross. She was going to find out a way to help him if it killed her, and do it soon.
[A/N
Well, another part finished. I tried to make this one a little longer, I hope you all like it.
The R&Rness should be picking up soon, if I can think of any other ideas. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!
Cya, and don't forget those reviews!
L_angel]