No Reason to Go On
Part 5: Not Making Things Easier
Ross bolted up from his bed around three in the morning shaking. He wasn't sure what the dream he'd just had had been about, but he had a feeling that he didn't really want to know.
Feeling thirsty, he walked quietly to the bathroom. He'd been there so many times in the past two nights to vomit he almost instantly went over to the toilet before he remembered that wasn't why he was here. He turned the cool water on and let it splash onto his hands.
Sloshing it lightly on his face, he blinked and looked himself over. His reflection stared sleepily back at him, and for the first time Ross thought he could see why Rachel and now Monica had been so concerned when they'd seen him.
He had dark circles under his eyes, and looked pale and tired. He looked slightly thinner then before, and the cuts were plainly visible on his bare arms.
Ross drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to look away. He couldn't bear to look at the grotesque person he was becoming.
He walked back towards the door, and almost ran headlong into Rachel on his way back.
"Whoa. What's the big idea?" Rachel asked in a loud whisper.
"Rach?" Ross hissed back.
"Ross?" Rachel's tone changed almost instantly. "Is everything all right?"
"Yeah," Ross nodded fervently.
"Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning." Rachel said after a pause. She then headed into the bathroom, leaving Ross standing alone in the hallway. He sighed quietly, and walked back to his room.
It took a long time for him to fall back to sleep, why this was he didn't know. He tossed and turned for over an hour, the numbers on his t-rex alarm clock now reading 4:15AM.
Finally, Ross pulled out the picture of Monica and Rachel again, and looked at Rachel's smiling face until he finally fell asleep.
The next morning, Rachel pulled Monica aside. "Mon, you can't eat Ross's breakfast today. He's barely eaten all weekend." She explained at the look of horror on Monica's face.
Her expression didn't change when she heard this, which was understandable. Their conversation ended soon after, because Judy had finished cooking, and Ross had come downstairs.
Rachel and Monica got him to eat a peace of toast and a slice of bacon before they had to leave.
Ross wasn't sure how he'd survived school so far that day. It was the middle of lunch, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He finally propped his head up on his fist, and wad waited until the bell signaling the end of lunch period finally rang 20 minutes later.
From the other side of the cafeteria, Rachel watched as Ross made his way out of the room. "Did you see how out of it he is?" She hissed to Monica once he was gone.
"I know," Monica whispered back as they began to walk to their own next class.
Rachel didn't press the subject, but more for her own sake then Monica's. She didn't want to think about Ross and his suffering anymore then she already was, so it came as a relief to her that she still had four more periods left of school.
Ross considered briefly about not going to track. He'd been feeling rather lightheaded ever since the beginning of math, which was his last class of the day. He wasn't feeling a better, and he didn't know what would help him.
He decided just to go to track, and headed in the direction of the field. He barely heard a word the coach said before they were supposed to start running laps. Apparently it wasn't anything important, because Ross did what he normally did and the Coach seemed satisfied.
He struggled to keep his feet moving as the hour-long lesson continued. He couldn't hear the chatter of the other runners or the pounding of their shoes. He couldn't hear the Coach yelling out instructions as the players ran past him. He couldn't hear anything.
He felt things spinning around him, and the world coming in ad out of focus. S
Till, he kept on running, forcing himself to go faster.
At long last, he heard the shrill sound of the coach's whistle sound, which meant the end of the lesson. He staggered to a stop, coming to a halt right in front of Rachel.
"Are you okay?" She asked in alarm, taking in Ross's condition.
"Fine," he panted out the best he could.
He staggered away from her, in the direction of the locker rooms. The coach stopped him just before he went in.
"Geller, you're doing a great job! You've really seemed to have lost a lot of weight already! Keep up the /good work." He punched Ross lightly on the arm, before he was finally permitted to leave.
He let the cold water stream onto his sweaty body as he stood mutely in the shower. He could feel himself shaking, but he didn't care. He continued to let the water hit his body.
Outside, Rachel was fuming. She couldn't believe what that Coach had said to Ross. To keep going with his weight losing program. Hadn't he noticed how pale he'd looked? He'd barely been able to stay on his feet!
She was sourly tempted to go over there and give him a peace of her mind. But just then, Ross emerged from the locker rooms.
"Hey," Rachel was relieved to see that he looked at least a little better.
"Hi," she greeted him in what she hoped was a cheerful manner.
"So, ready to walk home?" Ross asked after a minute.
"Sure," she replied giving him a small smile.
They walked out of school together, a silence like the one that had over come them on Friday doing the same now.
"So, how was cheerleading?" Ross finally asked in an attempt to make conversation.
"Fine," Rachel answered. "I got hit in the head by about five pompoms, but other wise, it was fine."
Ross grinned her, and soon silenced had fallen between them once more.
They soon reached the Geller's, and Monica greeted them cheerily. "Hi!" She said to Rachel.
"Hi," she responded.
Ross quietly walked upstairs, under the concerned gazes of Monica and Rachel. "How's he doing?" Monica hissed as they heard the sound of his bedroom door closing.
"He looked like he was about to pass out during track. But he's doing a lot better now." For a moment Monica looked slightly relieved, but then Rachel continued. "You won't believe what his coach said to him after practice," she continued. She told Monica about how the coach had said he'd been doing great, and about their walk home. Monica seemed very concerned for her brother's wellbeing, along with Rachel. But there was still one very big problem: they had no idea how to help him.
Later that evening, the girls and Ross were sitting in front of the TV. The girls were watching some sitcom, and Ross was struggling to stay awake.
"That actor is ssssooo cute!" Monica gushed loudly.
Rachel nodded her agreement, and Ross yawned.
"It's only 8:30, right?" He asked Rachel sleepily.
"Uh huh," she turned to look at him. "Why?"
"Just making sure my watch was set right." Ross lied.
Rachel nodded and went back to watching TV happily.
About a half an hour later, Monica was completely engrossed by the TV. Rachel was getting bored with the cheesy TV shows, and turned to look at Ross who surprisingly hadn't said much for a while.
He was half-asleep, and presently, his head lulled over onto Rachel's shoulder. [Don't know what I mean? Think back to the ep tow the birth, where Chandler was sleeping on Monica's shoulder in the waiting room. I always liked the C&M friendship in that ep… And Phoebe cracked me up too J. Okay, now I'm just rambling again. Go back to your reading!]
Rachel smiled, and grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa. She put it over her self, and pulled some slowly over Ross.
The three of them sat there for another hour or so, Monica happily watching TV, and Rachel strangely content with the seating arrangements. She just hoped that Ross would be better in the morning. If he was, she didn't care what she had to do until then.
[A/N
Sorry this took so long to be out! I didn't start it until Christmas afternoon, and then we went on a nice site-seeing trip the day after. Joy!
I'm currently out of ideas as to what should happen next, so suggestions would be helpful. Well, sorry all these parts have Ben so short, I usually try to make my fics at least two thousand words long… sorry again.
Well, thanks for all your reviews!
L_angel]
Part 5: Not Making Things Easier
Ross bolted up from his bed around three in the morning shaking. He wasn't sure what the dream he'd just had had been about, but he had a feeling that he didn't really want to know.
Feeling thirsty, he walked quietly to the bathroom. He'd been there so many times in the past two nights to vomit he almost instantly went over to the toilet before he remembered that wasn't why he was here. He turned the cool water on and let it splash onto his hands.
Sloshing it lightly on his face, he blinked and looked himself over. His reflection stared sleepily back at him, and for the first time Ross thought he could see why Rachel and now Monica had been so concerned when they'd seen him.
He had dark circles under his eyes, and looked pale and tired. He looked slightly thinner then before, and the cuts were plainly visible on his bare arms.
Ross drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to look away. He couldn't bear to look at the grotesque person he was becoming.
He walked back towards the door, and almost ran headlong into Rachel on his way back.
"Whoa. What's the big idea?" Rachel asked in a loud whisper.
"Rach?" Ross hissed back.
"Ross?" Rachel's tone changed almost instantly. "Is everything all right?"
"Yeah," Ross nodded fervently.
"Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning." Rachel said after a pause. She then headed into the bathroom, leaving Ross standing alone in the hallway. He sighed quietly, and walked back to his room.
It took a long time for him to fall back to sleep, why this was he didn't know. He tossed and turned for over an hour, the numbers on his t-rex alarm clock now reading 4:15AM.
Finally, Ross pulled out the picture of Monica and Rachel again, and looked at Rachel's smiling face until he finally fell asleep.
The next morning, Rachel pulled Monica aside. "Mon, you can't eat Ross's breakfast today. He's barely eaten all weekend." She explained at the look of horror on Monica's face.
Her expression didn't change when she heard this, which was understandable. Their conversation ended soon after, because Judy had finished cooking, and Ross had come downstairs.
Rachel and Monica got him to eat a peace of toast and a slice of bacon before they had to leave.
Ross wasn't sure how he'd survived school so far that day. It was the middle of lunch, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He finally propped his head up on his fist, and wad waited until the bell signaling the end of lunch period finally rang 20 minutes later.
From the other side of the cafeteria, Rachel watched as Ross made his way out of the room. "Did you see how out of it he is?" She hissed to Monica once he was gone.
"I know," Monica whispered back as they began to walk to their own next class.
Rachel didn't press the subject, but more for her own sake then Monica's. She didn't want to think about Ross and his suffering anymore then she already was, so it came as a relief to her that she still had four more periods left of school.
Ross considered briefly about not going to track. He'd been feeling rather lightheaded ever since the beginning of math, which was his last class of the day. He wasn't feeling a better, and he didn't know what would help him.
He decided just to go to track, and headed in the direction of the field. He barely heard a word the coach said before they were supposed to start running laps. Apparently it wasn't anything important, because Ross did what he normally did and the Coach seemed satisfied.
He struggled to keep his feet moving as the hour-long lesson continued. He couldn't hear the chatter of the other runners or the pounding of their shoes. He couldn't hear the Coach yelling out instructions as the players ran past him. He couldn't hear anything.
He felt things spinning around him, and the world coming in ad out of focus. S
Till, he kept on running, forcing himself to go faster.
At long last, he heard the shrill sound of the coach's whistle sound, which meant the end of the lesson. He staggered to a stop, coming to a halt right in front of Rachel.
"Are you okay?" She asked in alarm, taking in Ross's condition.
"Fine," he panted out the best he could.
He staggered away from her, in the direction of the locker rooms. The coach stopped him just before he went in.
"Geller, you're doing a great job! You've really seemed to have lost a lot of weight already! Keep up the /good work." He punched Ross lightly on the arm, before he was finally permitted to leave.
He let the cold water stream onto his sweaty body as he stood mutely in the shower. He could feel himself shaking, but he didn't care. He continued to let the water hit his body.
Outside, Rachel was fuming. She couldn't believe what that Coach had said to Ross. To keep going with his weight losing program. Hadn't he noticed how pale he'd looked? He'd barely been able to stay on his feet!
She was sourly tempted to go over there and give him a peace of her mind. But just then, Ross emerged from the locker rooms.
"Hey," Rachel was relieved to see that he looked at least a little better.
"Hi," she greeted him in what she hoped was a cheerful manner.
"So, ready to walk home?" Ross asked after a minute.
"Sure," she replied giving him a small smile.
They walked out of school together, a silence like the one that had over come them on Friday doing the same now.
"So, how was cheerleading?" Ross finally asked in an attempt to make conversation.
"Fine," Rachel answered. "I got hit in the head by about five pompoms, but other wise, it was fine."
Ross grinned her, and soon silenced had fallen between them once more.
They soon reached the Geller's, and Monica greeted them cheerily. "Hi!" She said to Rachel.
"Hi," she responded.
Ross quietly walked upstairs, under the concerned gazes of Monica and Rachel. "How's he doing?" Monica hissed as they heard the sound of his bedroom door closing.
"He looked like he was about to pass out during track. But he's doing a lot better now." For a moment Monica looked slightly relieved, but then Rachel continued. "You won't believe what his coach said to him after practice," she continued. She told Monica about how the coach had said he'd been doing great, and about their walk home. Monica seemed very concerned for her brother's wellbeing, along with Rachel. But there was still one very big problem: they had no idea how to help him.
Later that evening, the girls and Ross were sitting in front of the TV. The girls were watching some sitcom, and Ross was struggling to stay awake.
"That actor is ssssooo cute!" Monica gushed loudly.
Rachel nodded her agreement, and Ross yawned.
"It's only 8:30, right?" He asked Rachel sleepily.
"Uh huh," she turned to look at him. "Why?"
"Just making sure my watch was set right." Ross lied.
Rachel nodded and went back to watching TV happily.
About a half an hour later, Monica was completely engrossed by the TV. Rachel was getting bored with the cheesy TV shows, and turned to look at Ross who surprisingly hadn't said much for a while.
He was half-asleep, and presently, his head lulled over onto Rachel's shoulder. [Don't know what I mean? Think back to the ep tow the birth, where Chandler was sleeping on Monica's shoulder in the waiting room. I always liked the C&M friendship in that ep… And Phoebe cracked me up too J. Okay, now I'm just rambling again. Go back to your reading!]
Rachel smiled, and grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa. She put it over her self, and pulled some slowly over Ross.
The three of them sat there for another hour or so, Monica happily watching TV, and Rachel strangely content with the seating arrangements. She just hoped that Ross would be better in the morning. If he was, she didn't care what she had to do until then.
[A/N
Sorry this took so long to be out! I didn't start it until Christmas afternoon, and then we went on a nice site-seeing trip the day after. Joy!
I'm currently out of ideas as to what should happen next, so suggestions would be helpful. Well, sorry all these parts have Ben so short, I usually try to make my fics at least two thousand words long… sorry again.
Well, thanks for all your reviews!
L_angel]