No Reason to Go On
Part 7: Not Being Able to Stop
That afternoon, Rachel was surprised to see Monica on the sidelines when she came over to watch Ross's track practice. "What're you doing here?" She asked her friend.
"I wanted to keep an eye on Ross," Monica replied.
Rachel nodded, and they both looked to where the older boy was running. He looked much too thin, and he had dark circles under his eyes. No one on the team much less the Coach seemed to notice that there was anything wrong with him. Though this relieved Ross, Rachel wished that someone would notice and say something about it to him. But so far, that didn't seem to be happening.
"He looks like he hasn't slept in days," Monica reflected worriedly.
"I know," Rachel bit her bottom lip in concern. "He's been having nightmares."
Abruptly, the track team's coach walked over to them, bringing their conversation to its end. "You're one of the cheerleaders, aren't you?" He asked Rachel. She nodded hesitantly, and he smiled. It was all Rachel could do to not start yelling at him for making Ross go through all of this torture, but she kept quiet.
"Yeah, I'm Rachel." She said quietly. He didn't reflect the anger in those few words, but it was there.
"I've seen you around here a lot. That's good. A pretty face like that is just what those runners of mine should see. Keep up the great work." He patted her on the shoulder, before turning to Monica. "You, you're not a cheerleader, are you?"
"No," Monica said hastily. "I'm Ross Geller's little sister."
"Geller… yes," he glanced in Ross's direction, not seeing his condition. "And I thought *he* was over weight! You, drop and give me twenty." Monica stared at him for a moment. Seeing that he was being serious, she obediently did as she was told, struggling to do sit ups with out breaking a sweat.
While the other two were distracted, Rachel walked closer to the boys. She tried to catch Ross's eye, but he was staring resolutely straight ahead. Finally, she simply reached out and grabbed his shirttail as he ran past her. The other boys continued running, not noticing Ross's abrupt stop.
Ross himself was confused. Today was Tuesday, he reminded himself. You have Track after school… he should be running…
His jumbled up thoughts were silenced by someone calling his name.
"Ross? Ross, are you okay? Ross, snap out of it!" He felt someone shaking him by the shoulders, and turned shakily to look at them.
Rachel stood behind him, holding him by the shoulders. He opened his mouth to answer her, but no words came out.
He abruptly felt the familiar feeling creeping up his throat, and quickly pulled himself out of Rachel's grasp. He staggered a few feet away, and through up right there in the grass.
He fell on his stomach, coughing and heaving what little food he'd eaten that day out of his stomach.
Rachel dropped to her knees beside him, concern evident on her face. "Are you okay?" She asked again, watching him slowly recovering.
Ross opened his mouth to reply, but could only manage a weak "I think so," before he started coughing again. His strength seemed to be drained from him, and so when he tried to get up a minute later, he was unable to.
He pulled himself to his feet, but only to fall back down again as the world spun in and out of focus before him. Rachel caught him once again by the shoulders, and waited until his breathing had at least returned to normal before helping him slowly to his feet.
"Here," she said after a moment's hesitation, and offered him her water bottle. He accepted it gratefully, but was only able to drink a few sips with out feeling sick.
By this time, the Coach had noticed something was wrong, and was hurrying over towards them.
"Something wrong, Geller?" He asked Ross, once he'd gotten to where he was leaning against Rachel for support.
"I-I don't feel so well, Coach." He panted weakly, only half registering that Rachel was holding her water bottle up to his lips.
"Hmmm," the Coach looked with semi concern down at him. "Maybe you over did it. How about you cut today's practice short for today? Go home, get some rest."
Ross nodded mutely, trying again to stay on his feet. He succeeded this time, but was glad when he felt Rachel put a steadying arm around his shoulders.
"I'm staying with the Geller's," she said to the Coach as her and Ross turned to go. "I'll make sure he gets home in one peace."
The Coach nodded approvingly. "Good," was all he said however.
When Monica saw that Ross and Rachel were leaving, she haisined to join them. Ten sit-ups were more then enough for her.
"And just where do you think you're going?" The Coach had spotted her. "I'm not done with you."
Monica shot a concerned look at Ross and Rachel's retreating backs, before getting back to exercising.
The house was deserted when Ross and Rachel got there. Ross was now leaning heavily on Rachel for support, and looked close to passing out.
She helped him quickly to the couch, before rushing into the kitchen and refilling her now empty water bottle.
Rachel guessed that Ross had been dehydrated because in the 10 minutes it took to walk home, he'd drunk her whole water bottle. She was mentally killing herself for not paying closer attention to him, but there was nothing to do now but make sure he got lots of fluids.
As she returned to the couch with the water, Ross looked at her through half closed eyes.
"Rachel?" His voice came out in a horse whisper.
She knelt on the floor in front of the couch. "I'm here," her tone matched his in pitch.
"I'm sorry…" He reached over and grabbed her wrist in his firmest grasp. But considering he was close to passing out, this wasn't very much.
She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and worry on her face. "Sorry for what?"
"For…" but he got no further. He slumped back on the couch, his eyes closing completely.
Rachel looked with concern at his sleeping face. She suddenly gasped, and rolled up the sleeve of his track uniform. That wasn't blood on his shirt, was it? But it was. Sure enough, the cuts up and down his arms looked fresh.
Rachel replaced the sleeve, not being able to look at his arms any longer. Tears once again came to her eyes, as she thought about what was happening to someone. Someone who was becoming very important to her…
Monica got home about 20 minutes later, to find her brother asleep on the couch, and Rachel silently crying next to him.
"He did it again," Rachel choked out in a whisper to her friend.
Monica fell to her knees beside Rachel, and the two girls embraced each other, both crying heavily.
Sometime later, Ross opened his eyes. He looked up to see his sister and Rachel crying. They were crying for him. He'd upset them. It was his fault… everything was his fault…
Ross didn't eat a thing at dinner. It was a miracle that he was able to sit at the table, but eating was another matter altogether.
He'd forced himself to act normal once they heard his mother's car in the driveway. He'd gotten shakily to his feet, and grabbed a soda from the fridge. But he couldn't bring himself to drink it. Just staring at the liquid in the can before made his face pale, and he'd have to rush quickly to the bathroom.
He could feel his mother's eyes on him now, and he made sure not to look up at her. He forced himself to drink some water, so as not to worry Rachel. But he still felt very weak, and he just wanted to lie down…
"Ross, weren't you going to help me with my history report?" Rachel's voice sounded far away, and all Ross was able to do was nod weakly at the blur across from him that he assumed was her.
He got up, and staggered to the stairs. Rachel followed him, and once they were out of site, she allowed Ross to use her for support.
They made a silent agreement, and walked into Ross's room. This place was beginning to feel like home more and more to Rachel, what with all the time she'd been spending in it lately.
"Why did you do that?" Rachel asked once the door was closed and they were on his bed.
"Do what?" Ross looked confused.
In response, Rachel once again rolled up his sleeve to reveal the gash he'd made earlier at lunch that day.
He shivered slightly, before anreplying. "I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I couldn't stop myself."
"Ross, you need help." Rachel's voice was soft but firm.
"I know," he sighed as he leaned back against his pillows.
"But," he said after a minute. "There's something else I've been wanting to talk to you about."
"What?" Rachel asked, slightly worried. There couldn't be something else wrong, could there?
"Well," he began slowly, reaching over and gulping down some water that Rachel had brought up with her. "Lately we've been… kissing… a lot and…" Rachel blushed.
"Yeah… What about it?"
"Well, did it mean anything to you? I mean… do you… have feelings for me?" The look in his eyes was something that Rachel had never seen there before. It was almost… hopeful?
She forced herself to look away from his eyes, and answer his question. "I don't know." She said after a pause. "I… maybe… I think I do."
Ross tried to conceal his smile. "Good, 'cause I do too."
"Well then…" Rachel moved closer to him.
"…Would you like to be my Girlfriend?"
Rachel paused, but only for a second. "Yes. Yes I would."
With that said, they closed the gap between them, and kissed.
"You're what?!?!" Rachel guessed that Monica's scream could be heard for miles.
"I'm Ross's girlfriend," she hissed back in a whisper.
"Wow," Monica giggled. "…Wow."
Rachel grinned. It was about an hour later, and the two girls were sitting in Monica's room. Ross had fallen asleep about forty-five minutes before, and Monica had come in his room to find Rachel holding him in her arms, a smile on her face. Instantly, Monica had wanted to know what had happened, so they'd come in here to talk.
"Imagine if you got married!" Monica squealed excitedly, breaking into peals of laughter at the thought. "Your kids will have Ross's hair and your nose!"
"And yours will have your body," Rachel muttered, slightly annoyed.
"Or not. I saw this new senior in the halls the other day, he was ssssoooo cute! He had these blue eyes, with really cute blonde hair, and he looked right at me…" Monica trailed off, a dreamy expression coming to her face.
Rachel smiled, and stared up at the ceiling.
Sometime later, Monica had fallen asleep. But Rachel for some reason couldn't. She kept picturing Ross as he'd looked the last time she'd seen him: sleeping peacefully, a look of happiness on his face.
Unable to sleep, she padded quietly over to Ross's half-opened door. He was still asleep, but his look had changed.
His eyes were moving under their lids, and his mouth was twisted into a look of fear. Rachel lay down beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Instantly, he began to relax. His legs stopped thrashing, his expression relaxed, and his breathing slowed.
Rachel soon pulled him into her arms, looking at his once again untroubled face. Ross was happy, and now, so was Rachel.
[A/N
Sorry this part took so long to be up! I hoped you liked the R&Rness, and the guy Monica was describing was… just some made up one O.o. I was going to use Chandler, but then I remembered that he didn't meet Ross until college, and I was too lazy to fit him into the picture. J
I'm not quite sure how many more parts this fic will have, but I do know that they'll be pretty slow in getting out, because of school and all that.
Well, please review! Oh and this is totally off topic, but I can't believe that Joey likes Rachel! GRRR!! I mean, I guess Joey and Rachel would be okay, but Ross and Rachel rule!!!!
Okay, I've gotten that out of my system. Sorry if you're J&R fans and I offended you.
Well, bye!
L_angel]
Part 7: Not Being Able to Stop
That afternoon, Rachel was surprised to see Monica on the sidelines when she came over to watch Ross's track practice. "What're you doing here?" She asked her friend.
"I wanted to keep an eye on Ross," Monica replied.
Rachel nodded, and they both looked to where the older boy was running. He looked much too thin, and he had dark circles under his eyes. No one on the team much less the Coach seemed to notice that there was anything wrong with him. Though this relieved Ross, Rachel wished that someone would notice and say something about it to him. But so far, that didn't seem to be happening.
"He looks like he hasn't slept in days," Monica reflected worriedly.
"I know," Rachel bit her bottom lip in concern. "He's been having nightmares."
Abruptly, the track team's coach walked over to them, bringing their conversation to its end. "You're one of the cheerleaders, aren't you?" He asked Rachel. She nodded hesitantly, and he smiled. It was all Rachel could do to not start yelling at him for making Ross go through all of this torture, but she kept quiet.
"Yeah, I'm Rachel." She said quietly. He didn't reflect the anger in those few words, but it was there.
"I've seen you around here a lot. That's good. A pretty face like that is just what those runners of mine should see. Keep up the great work." He patted her on the shoulder, before turning to Monica. "You, you're not a cheerleader, are you?"
"No," Monica said hastily. "I'm Ross Geller's little sister."
"Geller… yes," he glanced in Ross's direction, not seeing his condition. "And I thought *he* was over weight! You, drop and give me twenty." Monica stared at him for a moment. Seeing that he was being serious, she obediently did as she was told, struggling to do sit ups with out breaking a sweat.
While the other two were distracted, Rachel walked closer to the boys. She tried to catch Ross's eye, but he was staring resolutely straight ahead. Finally, she simply reached out and grabbed his shirttail as he ran past her. The other boys continued running, not noticing Ross's abrupt stop.
Ross himself was confused. Today was Tuesday, he reminded himself. You have Track after school… he should be running…
His jumbled up thoughts were silenced by someone calling his name.
"Ross? Ross, are you okay? Ross, snap out of it!" He felt someone shaking him by the shoulders, and turned shakily to look at them.
Rachel stood behind him, holding him by the shoulders. He opened his mouth to answer her, but no words came out.
He abruptly felt the familiar feeling creeping up his throat, and quickly pulled himself out of Rachel's grasp. He staggered a few feet away, and through up right there in the grass.
He fell on his stomach, coughing and heaving what little food he'd eaten that day out of his stomach.
Rachel dropped to her knees beside him, concern evident on her face. "Are you okay?" She asked again, watching him slowly recovering.
Ross opened his mouth to reply, but could only manage a weak "I think so," before he started coughing again. His strength seemed to be drained from him, and so when he tried to get up a minute later, he was unable to.
He pulled himself to his feet, but only to fall back down again as the world spun in and out of focus before him. Rachel caught him once again by the shoulders, and waited until his breathing had at least returned to normal before helping him slowly to his feet.
"Here," she said after a moment's hesitation, and offered him her water bottle. He accepted it gratefully, but was only able to drink a few sips with out feeling sick.
By this time, the Coach had noticed something was wrong, and was hurrying over towards them.
"Something wrong, Geller?" He asked Ross, once he'd gotten to where he was leaning against Rachel for support.
"I-I don't feel so well, Coach." He panted weakly, only half registering that Rachel was holding her water bottle up to his lips.
"Hmmm," the Coach looked with semi concern down at him. "Maybe you over did it. How about you cut today's practice short for today? Go home, get some rest."
Ross nodded mutely, trying again to stay on his feet. He succeeded this time, but was glad when he felt Rachel put a steadying arm around his shoulders.
"I'm staying with the Geller's," she said to the Coach as her and Ross turned to go. "I'll make sure he gets home in one peace."
The Coach nodded approvingly. "Good," was all he said however.
When Monica saw that Ross and Rachel were leaving, she haisined to join them. Ten sit-ups were more then enough for her.
"And just where do you think you're going?" The Coach had spotted her. "I'm not done with you."
Monica shot a concerned look at Ross and Rachel's retreating backs, before getting back to exercising.
The house was deserted when Ross and Rachel got there. Ross was now leaning heavily on Rachel for support, and looked close to passing out.
She helped him quickly to the couch, before rushing into the kitchen and refilling her now empty water bottle.
Rachel guessed that Ross had been dehydrated because in the 10 minutes it took to walk home, he'd drunk her whole water bottle. She was mentally killing herself for not paying closer attention to him, but there was nothing to do now but make sure he got lots of fluids.
As she returned to the couch with the water, Ross looked at her through half closed eyes.
"Rachel?" His voice came out in a horse whisper.
She knelt on the floor in front of the couch. "I'm here," her tone matched his in pitch.
"I'm sorry…" He reached over and grabbed her wrist in his firmest grasp. But considering he was close to passing out, this wasn't very much.
She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and worry on her face. "Sorry for what?"
"For…" but he got no further. He slumped back on the couch, his eyes closing completely.
Rachel looked with concern at his sleeping face. She suddenly gasped, and rolled up the sleeve of his track uniform. That wasn't blood on his shirt, was it? But it was. Sure enough, the cuts up and down his arms looked fresh.
Rachel replaced the sleeve, not being able to look at his arms any longer. Tears once again came to her eyes, as she thought about what was happening to someone. Someone who was becoming very important to her…
Monica got home about 20 minutes later, to find her brother asleep on the couch, and Rachel silently crying next to him.
"He did it again," Rachel choked out in a whisper to her friend.
Monica fell to her knees beside Rachel, and the two girls embraced each other, both crying heavily.
Sometime later, Ross opened his eyes. He looked up to see his sister and Rachel crying. They were crying for him. He'd upset them. It was his fault… everything was his fault…
Ross didn't eat a thing at dinner. It was a miracle that he was able to sit at the table, but eating was another matter altogether.
He'd forced himself to act normal once they heard his mother's car in the driveway. He'd gotten shakily to his feet, and grabbed a soda from the fridge. But he couldn't bring himself to drink it. Just staring at the liquid in the can before made his face pale, and he'd have to rush quickly to the bathroom.
He could feel his mother's eyes on him now, and he made sure not to look up at her. He forced himself to drink some water, so as not to worry Rachel. But he still felt very weak, and he just wanted to lie down…
"Ross, weren't you going to help me with my history report?" Rachel's voice sounded far away, and all Ross was able to do was nod weakly at the blur across from him that he assumed was her.
He got up, and staggered to the stairs. Rachel followed him, and once they were out of site, she allowed Ross to use her for support.
They made a silent agreement, and walked into Ross's room. This place was beginning to feel like home more and more to Rachel, what with all the time she'd been spending in it lately.
"Why did you do that?" Rachel asked once the door was closed and they were on his bed.
"Do what?" Ross looked confused.
In response, Rachel once again rolled up his sleeve to reveal the gash he'd made earlier at lunch that day.
He shivered slightly, before anreplying. "I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I couldn't stop myself."
"Ross, you need help." Rachel's voice was soft but firm.
"I know," he sighed as he leaned back against his pillows.
"But," he said after a minute. "There's something else I've been wanting to talk to you about."
"What?" Rachel asked, slightly worried. There couldn't be something else wrong, could there?
"Well," he began slowly, reaching over and gulping down some water that Rachel had brought up with her. "Lately we've been… kissing… a lot and…" Rachel blushed.
"Yeah… What about it?"
"Well, did it mean anything to you? I mean… do you… have feelings for me?" The look in his eyes was something that Rachel had never seen there before. It was almost… hopeful?
She forced herself to look away from his eyes, and answer his question. "I don't know." She said after a pause. "I… maybe… I think I do."
Ross tried to conceal his smile. "Good, 'cause I do too."
"Well then…" Rachel moved closer to him.
"…Would you like to be my Girlfriend?"
Rachel paused, but only for a second. "Yes. Yes I would."
With that said, they closed the gap between them, and kissed.
"You're what?!?!" Rachel guessed that Monica's scream could be heard for miles.
"I'm Ross's girlfriend," she hissed back in a whisper.
"Wow," Monica giggled. "…Wow."
Rachel grinned. It was about an hour later, and the two girls were sitting in Monica's room. Ross had fallen asleep about forty-five minutes before, and Monica had come in his room to find Rachel holding him in her arms, a smile on her face. Instantly, Monica had wanted to know what had happened, so they'd come in here to talk.
"Imagine if you got married!" Monica squealed excitedly, breaking into peals of laughter at the thought. "Your kids will have Ross's hair and your nose!"
"And yours will have your body," Rachel muttered, slightly annoyed.
"Or not. I saw this new senior in the halls the other day, he was ssssoooo cute! He had these blue eyes, with really cute blonde hair, and he looked right at me…" Monica trailed off, a dreamy expression coming to her face.
Rachel smiled, and stared up at the ceiling.
Sometime later, Monica had fallen asleep. But Rachel for some reason couldn't. She kept picturing Ross as he'd looked the last time she'd seen him: sleeping peacefully, a look of happiness on his face.
Unable to sleep, she padded quietly over to Ross's half-opened door. He was still asleep, but his look had changed.
His eyes were moving under their lids, and his mouth was twisted into a look of fear. Rachel lay down beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Instantly, he began to relax. His legs stopped thrashing, his expression relaxed, and his breathing slowed.
Rachel soon pulled him into her arms, looking at his once again untroubled face. Ross was happy, and now, so was Rachel.
[A/N
Sorry this part took so long to be up! I hoped you liked the R&Rness, and the guy Monica was describing was… just some made up one O.o. I was going to use Chandler, but then I remembered that he didn't meet Ross until college, and I was too lazy to fit him into the picture. J
I'm not quite sure how many more parts this fic will have, but I do know that they'll be pretty slow in getting out, because of school and all that.
Well, please review! Oh and this is totally off topic, but I can't believe that Joey likes Rachel! GRRR!! I mean, I guess Joey and Rachel would be okay, but Ross and Rachel rule!!!!
Okay, I've gotten that out of my system. Sorry if you're J&R fans and I offended you.
Well, bye!
L_angel]