Shadows of a love to be found
By: The Raven Twins (StarlitRaven, SummerRaven)
We do not own the star trek universe we do not make money off of these we just have fun.
The monolog is difficult to follow at times just remember the style is mostly monolog so all scene description has to be done in her words I did take reviews into account and tried to de-clutter it.
So now by popular demand T'pol's POV.
1 "Sub-Commander T'pol Personal log:"
(T'pol is sitting on the floor of her quarters in front of a thick off white candle) "The events of the past month have been unsettling. A detailed analysis of the chemical used on me will be filed with the Vulcan High Command. The events of our imprisonment will be difficult to explain but I will attempt to recall.
"We were delivering medical supplies to the space station. After the completion of our task we planned to go back to the shuttle and return to Enterprise. We were ambushed approximately ten minutes after leaving our final meeting. They used sedatives injected into the neck to render Commander Tucker and I unconscious.
"When I regained consciousness there were three large aliens standing above me, I remembered nothing and my Vulcan abilities were also blocked.- it is my belief that though what the doctor found in my blood was ingested, the initial dose was injected.
They were screaming at me in their native language they were obviously agitated, and I felt scared
-Computer delete last word
-Apprehensive. I stood up and the lead alien struck me across the cheek. I began to cry from…fear. When I hit the deck I began to cry harder from the pain in my left cheek.
"Commander Tucker had also regained consciousness by then, and had seen them attack me. Against all logic he jumped up and attacked the aliens. He had surprised them so they were not prepared and were incapacitated in moments.
"I shrunk back in apprehension when he ran towards me and tried to touch my face. This seemed to shake him for a moment, he asked me in a breathless voice 'T'pol, are you all right?' I just stared at him in confusion. At the time I wasn't sure if I knew him or not so I said 'I know you?'
"The Commander looked hurt his eyes grew darker and his voice quavered as he wrapped his arms around me and began whispering that it would be okay. I felt safe in his arms, it defies logic and reason but his voice was so familiar and his arms felt reassuring. I searched my mind for who this person was, but only one word came to mind.
"-It's strange that of all the crew on Enterprise the one name I remembered in the two weeks we were there was Commander Tucker's. -
"He was still holding me when I whispered in a very low voice, 'Trip.'
"-It's also strange that I remembered Trip, I never call him that and ended up using that name for three weeks. -
"He seemed elated at the flicker of memory, 'Yes, yes that's right. Do you know me?'
I wasn't sure and began to reply 'Your voice…it sounds familiar.' But was cut off when more guards entered the room and again rendered us unconscious.
"When next I woke I was on the ground, Commander Tucker was standing about one meter away. I was scared
"-Computer delete last word.
"-In pain from the bruise on my cheek. I felt nauseated from what I'm assuming to be the onset of the memory suppressors.
"Since Tr-" (T'pol shook her head and cleared her mind.) "Since Commander Tucker was the only familiar element there I stayed close to him.
"The nights were uncomfortably cold so the Commander and I took to sleeping under the same blanket for warmth.
"One night was particularly cold and I was shivering despite our efforts to keep me warm. Commander Tucker noticed and tried to move closer but it didn't help. Preferring not to freeze I rolled over a laid my head on his shoulder and moved until I was up against his body. For a moment he seemed to stop breathing and his body felt even warmer than before.
"-There are a great many things that I find strange about this mission; the fact that I was willing to lay next to Commander Tucker of my own choice when at P'jem I did not wish to lay next to Captain Archer.
"-Commander Tucker quickly recovered from his shock and put his arms around me. Within a minute I had stopped shaking and quickly fell asleep.
"After that night I continued to sleep on his shoulder with his arms around me, it was warmer and he seemed to feel it was okay. I am hesitant to say I believe he enjoyed it.
"Two days before we were rescued I noticed that he was staring at me while I slept, I wasn't upset by it so I chose to ignore it just then.
"After a long period studying my face he sighed bent his head and kissed the top of mine. It made my body shiver but not with cold, with warmth. Anxious for more I turned my head up and with my free hand pulled him to me. The kiss left me breathless and warm all over like liquid heat. When he suddenly pulled away I felt lost.
"Computer pause log:" T'pol shook herself mentally, reminding herself that emotions were inappropriate 'my thoughts are a turbulent lake, with my mind clear, the lake will calm.' She recited the ancient mantra in her mind and felt her body and mind grow calm. With renewed peace of mind she continued
"Computer resume log: I didn't know then why Commander Tucker stopped but now that I have my memories back, I believe I do. He knew I didn't like being touched and that I would feel badly of him or myself for my lapse.
"That night I fell asleep listening to his heart rate slow, and wondering, 'why'?…
"Over the course of our imprisonment I rarely found Commander Tuckers scent unpleasant. The only times I did find it unpleasant were when he had been overexerting himself, other than that it was a kind of spicy musk like some of the candles used in calming meditations.
"Once we were rescued the doctor found chemicals in my blood, one in particular was blocking my memories and with them my knowledge of Vulcan emotional suppression. They said it had been put in our food daily and that it targeted only specific species. It was concluded that my body would naturally expel the chemicals gradually and that my memory would be back to normal in approximately one week.
"The first night we were back on Enterprise I couldn't sleep so I went to phlox, he said "being around so many people you don't remember, it is logical that you would be apprehensive of being alone." He suggested that I go see Commander Tucker a more familiar face might make me more comfortable. I was skeptical but took his advice.
"I went to Commander Tuckers quarters. He seemed surprised when he saw me standing in his door way. He invited me in and when I asked him if I could stay the night he looked even more stunned.
"I spent three more nights with him in his quarters before returning to my own. After more than three weeks sleeping with Trip, I missed him, his warmth and his scent. And I missed the way I felt when I was in his arms, while I laid there in my quarters, alone.
"Computer end log:
My superiors will not approve," she thought out loud. "I admitted to fear, apprehension, I behaved in a manner unbecoming a Vulcan, and I called him Trip." She couldn't submit this to the Vulcan High Command. They would declare her unbalanced. 'I can erase this log and rewrite it later, however I may one day want or need this log.'
"Computer save log entry to personal file T'pol and restrict access; my personal security code only and erase from my duty logs.
T'pol sat down to begin her meditation but her thoughts return to Trip, 'I can call him Trip in my mind. I still miss sleeping with him, I miss the warmth.' She thought to her self. 'And that kiss comes to mind every time I see him.'
'From what I know of human attraction I believe he is attracted to me, by the way his heart rate increases and his scent grows thicker when we touch.'
'I want to pursue some kind of personal relationship with him. I have feelings towards him that I don't yet understand because this has never happened before. However I don't know if he would share my desire to explore this because I have been so unpleasant with him in the past.
'Commander Tucker has shown great forgiveness in the past, more than I would expect from a human.
'Maybe its time I let go of my preconceived notions about humanity, Trip has already proved he is not like most humans.' And with that she left her quarters and headed for Commander Tuckers.
On her way she began to question her decision, 'what if his attraction was nothing more than a reaction to the stress of our situation? What will happen if he does reciprocate my feelings? How am I going to tell him, where will I begin? Well "every adventure begins with a question," mine is, "can I learn to love?"'
She pushed the chime on his door, after a few seconds he called "enter"
T'pol entered and stood in by the door way with as much composure as she could.
"Ohhh T'pol, I wasn't expecting to see you, come in an' have a seat. What can I do for ya?"
'The kiss is the best place to start,' she thought "I came by to discuss what happened during our imprisonment." She was trying to keep her emotions in check.
"Ya, what about?"
'His calm detachment is making it harder to maintain my composure, it should be making this easier, but its not.' "the night we kissed,"
"Yes?"
'Why is he just sitting there asking question?' She shifted "It has come to my attention that you may have romantic feelings towards me,"
Before she could finish what she was saying he broke in, all detachment gone he looked pained. "Ya I do, I'm sorry about what happened. I wont let it happen again." He was now staring intently at the floor.
She felt elated and saddened at the same time. She hadn't meant to hide her feelings that much, but he did have feelings for her and that was a start.
Dropping her defense she whispered in a tight voice "Trip,"
At this he looked up, some shocked surprise showing and his face.
"I'm sorry about my animosity in the past," she began "but I would like to change."
It was time to remove her barriers she stood and slowly moved to him and knelt on the floor in front of him. He just sat there staring at her in hope and wonder until she leaned in and tentatively kissed him. She feels relieved when he reaches up to cup her face with his hands, and as he deepens the kiss she feels that same warmth she had the first time. When he slowly pulled away she remembered the last time 'We have to stop T'pol.'
When he looked at her his eyes were glazed, but the intensity was unmistakable. "Are you sure?"
Relieved again she replied, "Yes I'm sure."
He smiled and as they kissed again T'pol thought, 'Here is peace, and shadows of a love to be found…'
By: The Raven Twins (StarlitRaven, SummerRaven)
We do not own the star trek universe we do not make money off of these we just have fun.
The monolog is difficult to follow at times just remember the style is mostly monolog so all scene description has to be done in her words I did take reviews into account and tried to de-clutter it.
So now by popular demand T'pol's POV.
1 "Sub-Commander T'pol Personal log:"
(T'pol is sitting on the floor of her quarters in front of a thick off white candle) "The events of the past month have been unsettling. A detailed analysis of the chemical used on me will be filed with the Vulcan High Command. The events of our imprisonment will be difficult to explain but I will attempt to recall.
"We were delivering medical supplies to the space station. After the completion of our task we planned to go back to the shuttle and return to Enterprise. We were ambushed approximately ten minutes after leaving our final meeting. They used sedatives injected into the neck to render Commander Tucker and I unconscious.
"When I regained consciousness there were three large aliens standing above me, I remembered nothing and my Vulcan abilities were also blocked.- it is my belief that though what the doctor found in my blood was ingested, the initial dose was injected.
They were screaming at me in their native language they were obviously agitated, and I felt scared
-Computer delete last word
-Apprehensive. I stood up and the lead alien struck me across the cheek. I began to cry from…fear. When I hit the deck I began to cry harder from the pain in my left cheek.
"Commander Tucker had also regained consciousness by then, and had seen them attack me. Against all logic he jumped up and attacked the aliens. He had surprised them so they were not prepared and were incapacitated in moments.
"I shrunk back in apprehension when he ran towards me and tried to touch my face. This seemed to shake him for a moment, he asked me in a breathless voice 'T'pol, are you all right?' I just stared at him in confusion. At the time I wasn't sure if I knew him or not so I said 'I know you?'
"The Commander looked hurt his eyes grew darker and his voice quavered as he wrapped his arms around me and began whispering that it would be okay. I felt safe in his arms, it defies logic and reason but his voice was so familiar and his arms felt reassuring. I searched my mind for who this person was, but only one word came to mind.
"-It's strange that of all the crew on Enterprise the one name I remembered in the two weeks we were there was Commander Tucker's. -
"He was still holding me when I whispered in a very low voice, 'Trip.'
"-It's also strange that I remembered Trip, I never call him that and ended up using that name for three weeks. -
"He seemed elated at the flicker of memory, 'Yes, yes that's right. Do you know me?'
I wasn't sure and began to reply 'Your voice…it sounds familiar.' But was cut off when more guards entered the room and again rendered us unconscious.
"When next I woke I was on the ground, Commander Tucker was standing about one meter away. I was scared
"-Computer delete last word.
"-In pain from the bruise on my cheek. I felt nauseated from what I'm assuming to be the onset of the memory suppressors.
"Since Tr-" (T'pol shook her head and cleared her mind.) "Since Commander Tucker was the only familiar element there I stayed close to him.
"The nights were uncomfortably cold so the Commander and I took to sleeping under the same blanket for warmth.
"One night was particularly cold and I was shivering despite our efforts to keep me warm. Commander Tucker noticed and tried to move closer but it didn't help. Preferring not to freeze I rolled over a laid my head on his shoulder and moved until I was up against his body. For a moment he seemed to stop breathing and his body felt even warmer than before.
"-There are a great many things that I find strange about this mission; the fact that I was willing to lay next to Commander Tucker of my own choice when at P'jem I did not wish to lay next to Captain Archer.
"-Commander Tucker quickly recovered from his shock and put his arms around me. Within a minute I had stopped shaking and quickly fell asleep.
"After that night I continued to sleep on his shoulder with his arms around me, it was warmer and he seemed to feel it was okay. I am hesitant to say I believe he enjoyed it.
"Two days before we were rescued I noticed that he was staring at me while I slept, I wasn't upset by it so I chose to ignore it just then.
"After a long period studying my face he sighed bent his head and kissed the top of mine. It made my body shiver but not with cold, with warmth. Anxious for more I turned my head up and with my free hand pulled him to me. The kiss left me breathless and warm all over like liquid heat. When he suddenly pulled away I felt lost.
"Computer pause log:" T'pol shook herself mentally, reminding herself that emotions were inappropriate 'my thoughts are a turbulent lake, with my mind clear, the lake will calm.' She recited the ancient mantra in her mind and felt her body and mind grow calm. With renewed peace of mind she continued
"Computer resume log: I didn't know then why Commander Tucker stopped but now that I have my memories back, I believe I do. He knew I didn't like being touched and that I would feel badly of him or myself for my lapse.
"That night I fell asleep listening to his heart rate slow, and wondering, 'why'?…
"Over the course of our imprisonment I rarely found Commander Tuckers scent unpleasant. The only times I did find it unpleasant were when he had been overexerting himself, other than that it was a kind of spicy musk like some of the candles used in calming meditations.
"Once we were rescued the doctor found chemicals in my blood, one in particular was blocking my memories and with them my knowledge of Vulcan emotional suppression. They said it had been put in our food daily and that it targeted only specific species. It was concluded that my body would naturally expel the chemicals gradually and that my memory would be back to normal in approximately one week.
"The first night we were back on Enterprise I couldn't sleep so I went to phlox, he said "being around so many people you don't remember, it is logical that you would be apprehensive of being alone." He suggested that I go see Commander Tucker a more familiar face might make me more comfortable. I was skeptical but took his advice.
"I went to Commander Tuckers quarters. He seemed surprised when he saw me standing in his door way. He invited me in and when I asked him if I could stay the night he looked even more stunned.
"I spent three more nights with him in his quarters before returning to my own. After more than three weeks sleeping with Trip, I missed him, his warmth and his scent. And I missed the way I felt when I was in his arms, while I laid there in my quarters, alone.
"Computer end log:
My superiors will not approve," she thought out loud. "I admitted to fear, apprehension, I behaved in a manner unbecoming a Vulcan, and I called him Trip." She couldn't submit this to the Vulcan High Command. They would declare her unbalanced. 'I can erase this log and rewrite it later, however I may one day want or need this log.'
"Computer save log entry to personal file T'pol and restrict access; my personal security code only and erase from my duty logs.
T'pol sat down to begin her meditation but her thoughts return to Trip, 'I can call him Trip in my mind. I still miss sleeping with him, I miss the warmth.' She thought to her self. 'And that kiss comes to mind every time I see him.'
'From what I know of human attraction I believe he is attracted to me, by the way his heart rate increases and his scent grows thicker when we touch.'
'I want to pursue some kind of personal relationship with him. I have feelings towards him that I don't yet understand because this has never happened before. However I don't know if he would share my desire to explore this because I have been so unpleasant with him in the past.
'Commander Tucker has shown great forgiveness in the past, more than I would expect from a human.
'Maybe its time I let go of my preconceived notions about humanity, Trip has already proved he is not like most humans.' And with that she left her quarters and headed for Commander Tuckers.
On her way she began to question her decision, 'what if his attraction was nothing more than a reaction to the stress of our situation? What will happen if he does reciprocate my feelings? How am I going to tell him, where will I begin? Well "every adventure begins with a question," mine is, "can I learn to love?"'
She pushed the chime on his door, after a few seconds he called "enter"
T'pol entered and stood in by the door way with as much composure as she could.
"Ohhh T'pol, I wasn't expecting to see you, come in an' have a seat. What can I do for ya?"
'The kiss is the best place to start,' she thought "I came by to discuss what happened during our imprisonment." She was trying to keep her emotions in check.
"Ya, what about?"
'His calm detachment is making it harder to maintain my composure, it should be making this easier, but its not.' "the night we kissed,"
"Yes?"
'Why is he just sitting there asking question?' She shifted "It has come to my attention that you may have romantic feelings towards me,"
Before she could finish what she was saying he broke in, all detachment gone he looked pained. "Ya I do, I'm sorry about what happened. I wont let it happen again." He was now staring intently at the floor.
She felt elated and saddened at the same time. She hadn't meant to hide her feelings that much, but he did have feelings for her and that was a start.
Dropping her defense she whispered in a tight voice "Trip,"
At this he looked up, some shocked surprise showing and his face.
"I'm sorry about my animosity in the past," she began "but I would like to change."
It was time to remove her barriers she stood and slowly moved to him and knelt on the floor in front of him. He just sat there staring at her in hope and wonder until she leaned in and tentatively kissed him. She feels relieved when he reaches up to cup her face with his hands, and as he deepens the kiss she feels that same warmth she had the first time. When he slowly pulled away she remembered the last time 'We have to stop T'pol.'
When he looked at her his eyes were glazed, but the intensity was unmistakable. "Are you sure?"
Relieved again she replied, "Yes I'm sure."
He smiled and as they kissed again T'pol thought, 'Here is peace, and shadows of a love to be found…'