The Second Worst Thing
Chapter 2: Super Saiya…er…Spy?
By senzubean
I do not own Dragon Ball Z in any way. I make no profit from this story. I just wrote it for fun.
Three weeks past. Vegeta had managed to make very little contact with Bulma. He hadn't realized he was in her company so much. But this solution didn't have the effect he hoped it would. He'd get into an excellent state of mind for training. Then just as he felt he was beginning to make progress again, just when he'd finally gotten Bulma out of his mind, he would see her in the back yard through the window, or hear her voice through the metal walls. Then it would start all over again. His hormones would take control of his mind.
He considered leaving the planet, but that was extremely inconvenient not to mention cowardly. The Prince of all Saiyans refused to run away from his dilemmas.
Vegeta stopped his shadow boxing and stared off into space.
"There has to be a way to break that woman." Vegeta stated. "She must have a weakness. Everyone has a weakness. Everyone except for me."
He racked his brain, but could come up with nothing. Although he had spent a considerable amount of time with her, considerable for the amount of free time Vegeta allowed himself that is, he could not recall one instance where she had shown weakness.
There was only one thing for him to do. He needed to reverse his strategy and cling to the woman like saran wrap.
But I have to do it so she won't get suspicious. She noticed right away that I had been staring at her during breakfast three weeks ago. I will have to employ extreme stealth if I am to gain any insight into that bewildering mind of hers.
Ten minutes later Vegeta peered around the kitchen doorway at his subject. Bulma was talking on the phone.
"So, you don't see them very much?" Bulma paused, listening to the other end. "Typical men, their stomach reminds them where they live." Pause again. "Vegeta?" Pause. "Everything's all right here. I haven't seen him in three weeks. The only way I can tell he's still here is how quickly the cupboards go bare." Pause "He's been scarce ever since I blew up his training capsule. I think I scared him off." She laughed.
Vegeta was not impressed.
"What! That's crazy! He does not!" Bulma exclaimed. "That guy doesn't like anyone but himself!"
Vegeta went bug eyed. They were talking about him… and her...together..in that way!
I need to hear the other end of this conversation.
Vegeta snuck into the living room as quickly as he could without making a racket then retreated into the hallway. He rushed from room to room searching for another phone line. For some reason there was a significant lack of telephones in the Briefs household.
They have twelve TV's on the first floor alone but only one damn phone!
Finally, he found one. In his room.
Vegeta wanted to curse loudly, but he had already lost time. He very carefully picked up the phone and made a point to muffle the speaking end with his hand.
"Well the next time they bring fish home, tell them you've already cooked something else."
Vegeta slammed the phone down in disgust. The only thing he'd learned was that Kakarrot's family ate a lot of fish. Vegeta was mildly discouraged but he quickly reminded himself that this would take time. Valuable time that could be better used for training, but until this problem was solved he wasn't going to get any training done anyway.
This is how Vegeta became Bulma's shadow.
Wherever Bulma went, Vegeta was close behind and in a concealed place. He managed to listen to all of her phone conversations and learned all kinds of unimportant things. She went to bed between 1AM and 3AM every morning then woke up between 12 PM and 3PM the next afternoon. She would then putter about in her lab, still in her nightgown, which was usually either yellow or pink. She'd clean herself up in time for dinner, which she would eat with her parents and himself whenever he felt like joining them. The rest of her time she spent doing useless things like reading magazines, watching TV, or talking on the phone. For instance, Bulma liked to order things from catalogues. She especially liked shoes. Sometimes she called psychic hotlines for the fun of it. One woman with a very peculiar accent informed Bulma that she saw a dark figure following her about. Vegeta nearly exploded on the other end. All his hard work ruined by some crazy woman and her uncanny ability to guess. After Bulma hung up she laughed her head off and Vegeta heaved a sigh of relief.
He also learned some very important things. Bulma was infinitely stubborn, yet extremely patient. This confused Vegeta somewhat. How can a stubborn person be patient? It had to be either or. But Bulma proved that wrong. She could fight with someone over the phone for hours then end the conversation on a friendly note. Despite the fact that Vegeta had pissed her off to no end with his little ki-throwing rampage in her lab, she still greeted him happily whenever he consciously ran into her in the house.
This was all important, but it was somewhat inconsequential. Vegeta needed to frighten her and he had learned nothing about what struck fear in that heart of hers, and it pissed Vegeta off to no end that that thing, obviously, was not him. Unlike Bulma, Vegeta was not patient in the least and he had just about enough of following her boring activities.
That's it! I can't take this anymore! What the hell is the matter with me? I can't become a super saiyan! I can't get that woman off my back! Damn it! DAMN IT!
Without really knowing what he was doing, Vegeta barged into the living room where the entire Briefs family had assembled.
"You kids behave yourselves while we're gone." Dr.Briefs joked as he picked up his suitcase from the carpet.
"Right Dad." Bulma groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Are you sure you don't want to come, Sweetie? It'll be so much fun lying on that beautiful beach all day." Mrs. Briefs said to Bulma.
"Forget the beach. I hear there's some amazing new discoveries being unveiled at the Scientists Convention this year." Dr. Briefs disagreed.
"But who will come to the beach with me?" Mrs. Briefs exclaimed. "Vegeta!"
Vegeta cringed at the eardrum shattering pitch in which his name was uttered. "You could come to the beach with me, and Bulma and her Dad could go to see all that confusing science stuff. What do you say? You work so hard all the time, you deserve a vacation!"
"That is utterly ridiculous. I don't have time for a 'vacation'!"
"Vegeta's right, we can't just sit around and relax. Not with those androids coming."
"Hmph!" Vegeta grunted in disgust. She wasn't doing a thing in regards to the androids. What was she talking about?
"But Hon..."
"No buts, Dad. I'm not going. Besides, someone has to be here to make sure his highness over there doesn't wreck the place!"
"I don't need a baby-sitter." Vegeta replied.
"Says you." Bulma replied.
Dr. and Mrs. Briefs said their goodbyes and left. As soon as they were out the door she confronted Vegeta.
"I mean it. I don't want any horrible messes." Vegeta crossed his arms unimpressed. "And you can quit following me around too. Dad rushed to get that stupid gravity room fixed for you and you haven't even been using it."
"Y..you knew I was…" Vegeta stammered in utter shock.
"Hiding around corners? Listening to my phone conversations? If you want to get to know me you can do what normal people do and ask."
"You knew all this time!? Why didn't you say something!? Vegeta bellowed. He had tracked her like a hunter, if she had've been a deer in the forest she would've been dead. Not only had he not learned anything valuable he had completely wasted his time. He hadn't been this angry since he'd met that purple haired super saiyan a few months back. "When did you figure it out?"
"Long ago. I was on to you since the day you slammed the phone down in my ear while talking to Chi-Chi. And again, the gravity room was silent for far longer than it aught to have been if you were training in there. If you didn't want me to know, you shouldn't have been so sloppy."
"Sloppy? Sloppy! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO SLOPPY? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT STEALTH? ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND DO POINTLESS THINGS ALL DAY LONG! YOU ARE A COMPLETELY USELESS PERSON! I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOULD EVEN CONSIDER YOU A POTENTIAL….." Vegeta forcefully stifled himself, practically choking on the words he dare not utter to anyone.
"Consider me a potential what?" Bulma demanded to know. She planted her hands on her hips and stared at him, determined not to budge until she had an answer.
Vegeta glared right back, determined not to give that answer.
"Give up this game, Vegeta. I know you find me interesting for some reason. Just tell me what it is. It's obviously driving you to new peaks of insanity, so just spit it out."
"Hmph!" Vegeta grunted and then smirked. "Congratulations, Woman. You've managed to get me so angry that for once I had no idea what I was saying."
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Bulma screamed in response to that. With difficulty she regained her composure. "Fine, you want to continue this pathetic little game, so be it. Until you tell me the end of that sentence you yelled at me I will not make you meals, I will not build you new training equipment and heaven forbid that gravity room should conk out because I will not fix it! I don't care what's coming in three years and how valuable your talents will be on that battle field!"
Vegeta was un-moved by all this. "I accept your challenge, woman. Until you re-instate your services to me I will not stop following you and I will make messes at my choosing, I will become your worst nightmare! You will wish you had never invited me here!"
With that they sent one last intense glare at each other, 'hmph'd', turned on their heels and marched out of the room in opposite directions. Seconds later, Vegeta reappeared and went out the way Bulma did, remembering what he had vowed to do.