III
Mimi
"These Are My Emotions"
I wake up in the morning and immediately go into the bathroom to brush my teeth like Lisa told me to. I am not going to let my tongue get infected- I have enough to worry about right now; I don't need to deal with that too. Recently, the doctor has been switching around my AZT doses and it's wrecking havoc on my system; the infection would just make it worse.
After I finish brushing my teeth, I stick my tongue out to look at it. Oh, icky! The area around my tongue ring is all red and crusty! That's not good at all… I pick up the bottle of mouthwash and quickly swish it around in my mouth. I spit out the mouthwash and stick my tongue out again so I can see it in the mirror. Damnit! The nastiness is still there! Just then, I see Roger enter the bathroom and I quickly pull my tongue back into my mouth. I don't want him to see this, it's gross enough to me and it's in my mouth. "Morning baby."
Roger blinks sleepily, then focuses on me and seems to wake up a bit. "Morning Mi." He wraps his arms around my waist and sets his head on my shoulder, still yawning. I can just guess what he's going to ask really soon though. Finally, Roger seems to wake up and kisses my neck. "Mimi, let me see your tongue ring."
Damnit, why do I have to be right? "Later Rog, I want breakfast. My stomach is eating itself inside out." 'My stomach is eating itself inside out'? Brilliant Mimi. He seems to accept that though, and we go into the kitchen to eat cereal. I spend the entire meal trying to figure out how to avoid showing Roger my tongue. After I finish eating I go over and crawl into his lap; kissing along his hairline and hoping I can just avoid the whole tongue thing.
"Mmmm… that's nice, Mimi." Roger grins and tightens his arms around me, kissing my shoulder around my shirt strap. This is why we spend so much time in my apartment, rather then in the loft. Mark always yells at us when we act like this in the morning in their loft. I think I need to get him a girlfriend, then he'd be a hypocrite to yell at us. He needs to get over Maureen first though, and I'm not quite sure how to speed that along. I'll figure- Roger pulls away slightly, disrupting my train of thought. "Mimi… let me see you tongue." I clamp my mouth shut and shake my head, it's gross and I don't want Roger to see it. "Mimi… please… baby… it's so sexy…" He gives me a puppy dog face and I- unable to resist him- reluctantly stick out my tongue.
Roger just stares down at it, trying to hold back a repulsed look, I can tell. "Oh… ummm… wow Mimi, that's kinda gross. It looks infected." He pulls his arms away and scratches at his forehead. "Maybe you should go brush your teeth or something, that's pretty nasty." Hint to Mimi: get the hell off me now. I wish I couldn't tell what he actually means so well, it hurts right now.
I slowly get off his lap and go into the bathroom. I wish I hadn't shown him, this is even worse then I thought. I brush my teeth for almost half an hour but when I spit and rinse, my tongue isn't any better—if anything it's worse. I just stand there and stare at my tongue, it's disgusting. It's all swollen, the crusty part has spread and there's a whole bunch of black stuff just around the ring. How the fuck did that happen? No wonder Roger was so… Holding back tears, I decide to take a shower, they always make me feel better.
I climb into the shower but the water comes out red and cold. Damnit! It's not fair! I twist the knob and just stand under the red water until finally the rust clears and the water heats up. After my shower, I feel a tiny bit better, but not much. I try everything I can think of to fix my tongue- mouthwash, rubbing alcohol—I even try putting lipstick on over the black stuff. This is stupid, I'm overreacting, Roger's going to love me no matter what my tongue looks like. I quickly change into one of my favorite outfits and go out into the living room/kitchen/den/foyer/whatever-else-those-yuppies-might-have.
Roger's not here? Why isn't Roger here? Maybe he went upstairs to… I don't know… get a pair of pants? I'm sure there's a completely logical reason he's not here. I'm just going a little… odd, cuz I'm upset about my tongue. I can talk to Lisa tonight and it'll be okay, I can deal with this until then.
I want my Roger… I want him to hug me and tell me that it's okay and he loves me despite my tongue. I'm going to go find him. I pull on a pair of boots- I've always needed boots to be tall enough- and go up to the loft. Okay… ummm… what's that sound? That's not a normal loft noise…
I push open the door and don't immediately see anything. I notice a foot poking over the side of the couch and run over to find Roger laying on top of Mark on the couch. Icky! My Roger! Mine! Why is my Roger making out with Mark? "Rog…?"
Roger looks up at me, blushing guiltily and pulling his hand out of Mark's pants. Whoa whoa, what? Pulling his hand out of Mark's pants!?! This is even worse then I thought… why is this happening? "Sorry, Mimi, your tongue is just really really nasty. And Mark's tongue is tasty…"
I feel my mouth drop open and I try to say something but my tongue is too swollen. Excuse me? What did he just say? My tongue is nasty and Mark's tongue is tasty? This is not what's supposed to happen! At all! Finally I manage to force out, "I… bu… ick!" I just stare at them in disbelief, this is not happening to me.
*FLASH!*
I wake up screaming, sweaty and with tears streaming out of my eyes from all directions. It was a dream, Mimi, just a dream. Calm down, chica.
My screaming wakes Roger and he quickly sits up, rubbing his eyes, then wrapping his arms around me tightly and stroking my hair. "Shhhh… Mimi, shhh baby, are you okay? Shhh, don't cry sweetie." I think he thinks it has something to do with my AIDS, since I'm shaking violently too. "What's wrong?"
I sniffle a little bit and press my head against Roger's chest. The feeling of his arms around me is just so reassuring, that's what I was looking for in my dream. "Bad dream…" I mumble, looking up at him. His face visibly loses a lot of tension and I can tell he's relieved that it doesn't have anything to do with AIDS. We sit in the bed, just holding each other for a few more minutes.
"Wanna tell me about it?" Roger asks into my hair, which he's still stroking. I'm so happy he's here with me… although I don't think me telling him all about my dream is the best idea. I'll just alter it slightly.
"Ummm…" I reach over and click on the lamp on my beside table. "Roger, is my tongue nasty?" I stick it out so he can see.
Roger chuckles and looks down at my tongue, shaking his head. "Of course not, baby, it's sexy. I told you that when you got it, I told you that when we went to bed and I'll tell you that every time you ask."
I smile slightly. "But it doesn't look infected or anything?" He shakes his head again, still looking slightly amused. We sit in silence for a few more minutes. "Rog… you don't think Mark's tongue is tasty, do you?"
At this, Roger can't hold it in anymore and starts laughing hysterically. "Mark's… tongue…tasty…? Mimi… oh, don't tell me that's what your dream was about. That's not a nightmare at all- unless I'm having the dream- it's just *too* funny." I glare at him and he immediately stops laughing. The dream scared me, I don't know what I would do if I lost him, especially to- ugh- Mark. "Mimi, listen to me, I do not think Mark's tongue is tasty, I'm not attracted to Mark at all. I love you, okay baby?" I nod, smiling and he reaches over to turn the light back off. "Good. Go back to sleep, okay."
I settle back down in his arms and am about two inches away from sleep when I realize that I didn't say it back.
*****
So now I'm sitting in front of the mirror, fighting with my hair. It just will not do what I want it to. I want to put it up for Roger's show but it just will not. Now I have to change my entire outfit, stupid ass hair. "Rooooog…" I whine, wandering back into my bedroom. "I don't have anything to wear tonight…"
He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. "Can't you wear what you're wearing?" He's busy trying to pull on a pair of leather pants without sitting down. It doesn't work.
"No! It doesn't go with my hair down!" I go over and shove him down on the bed, pulling up his pants for him. "Roger… you have to help me!" He sighs goes over to the closet, handing me a blue sweater-top and a pair of red and yellow plaid pants. "Roger, no! That doesn't go together at all! You are no help!" I stamp my foot then stomp over to the closet to find some clothes. I frantically flip through my closet, not that I'm starting to get a little worried. This is one of the first gigs they've had since the Well Hungarians got back together and I want it to be special.
I calm down slightly, though, as I feel Roger slip his arms around my waist. "Mimi… you're gorgeous…" I hear him whisper in my ear as he reaches around me to grab a blue dress and my sleeves. I haven't worn that outfit in forever.
"I just want to look special…" I say quietly, taking the clothes from him. I have a feeling that tonight will be special though. Just because… I don't know something's going to happen, it always does. I quickly change into the outfit he hands me, not bothering to leave the room and sit down on my bed to pull on a pair of fishnets. I should get nicer tights. As I struggle with the twisted leg, Roger sits down behind me.
"Mimi, calm down, it's just a gig. There's going to be lots more. This isn't anything too important. Are you still stressing out over that dream last night?"
"What? Me stress out? Never." I laugh slightly and go over to find my boots. I'm still a little upset about realizing that I didn't say 'I love you' back last night. "I'm good. Hey, I love you, you know that, right?" I pull on my jacket and offer my hand to him.
"I do now. Come on, Mimi, let's go. I'm supposed to get there early." He takes my hand and leads me out the door as I force a smile. That dream from last night is scaring me a little, I mean, I know he wouldn't leave me for Mark but…I'm just going to fix it. I'm going to tell Roger that I love him all the time and pay close attention to him… and… I don't know, ask Lisa what else I can do to stop my tongue from getting infected. I'm going to fix it all.
It's all going to be okay.
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Okay, that's the closest your going to get to M/R in this story, so be happy! And… umm… don't know when more'll be coming, but shouldn't be too long, I have too much time on my hands.
Disclaimer: Everyone in this chapter is owned by Jonathan Larson, etc. Lisa's owned by us, but she's only mentioned.
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