V
Roger
"It's So Simple"
Who does she think she is? Does she really think she can make it all better by saying she loves me now? I wanted her to say it last night when I said it. Okay, calm down. She was upset and tired, so she had a right to not say it. And she did say it this morning- yeah, after she had a night to convince herself that she did. Fuck! Roger, you know Mimi loves you, that's why she came back.
Suddenly I feel Mimi start trembling next to me. "Mimi? Are you okay?" I look down at her and hold back a sigh. "Baby, did you forget to bring a jacket?" She nods and I, sighing, shrug my jacket off and place it over her shoulders. "Is that better?"
She nods again and I wrap both my arms around her as we continue walking. "Baby, you have to remember to wear a jacket- you can't get sick again. You scared me too much the last time." I bend down and kiss the top of her head. This is so ironic that I'm telling her how to take care of herself- it's supposed to be Mark taking care of me. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing as I picture Mark's reaction to me acting responsible. "Promise me you'll remember a jacket the next time we go out?"
"I promise." Mimi smiles and settles comfortably into my arms as we continue walking toward the club. She fits into my arms so perfectly. I'm smiling like a moron at that thought when Mimi turns to look up at me and runs her hand over my bare arm. "I stole your coat, aren't you cold? I'm sorry, Rog." I find myself smiling even more when she says that.
It's so simple, but it just made something completely obvious. Mimi really does love me, I feel so bad for doubting her. I have thousands of these little revelations every day and I feel horrible after every one- after I realize I was doubting her for no reason. I wish I wasn't so damn jealous and stubborn all the time. I can't help it though. Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve her, she's beautiful and sweet and sexy and intelligent and I… well, I think that at one point in time or another I've managed to hurt everyone I care about. Mimi's voice suddenly penetrates my thoughts and I feel her rubbing my arm probably as hard as she can. "Roger?" Mimi asks, her voice shaking a little- she's scared. "Rog, are you okay? You didn't go into shock from the cold or anything, did you?"
I laugh a little at how cute she sounds and tighten my arms around her. "No, I'm fine Mimi, it's not that cold out here. I was just thinking." She still looks a little concerned so I lean down and softly kiss her. "I'm fine, I promise." I look at our surroundings and grin. "Look, Mimi, we're here. We'll go inside and then you can stop worrying about me being cold all together, alright?"
"Alright," she says softly as I take her hand and lead her into the club. She takes off the jacket and hands it back to me. "When are you playing?"
"In about half an hour, I should start to go get ready." I bend down and kiss her again. Our relationship can get really physical sometimes, Mark yells at us, but that's the only way I can think of to show my feelings to her. Pathetic, huh? Especially since I'm the guy who didn't even want to hold hands on the night we met… I suddenly realize that maybe Mimi won't want to stay alone. "Do you want to come with me, baby?"
"No, I'm going to wait for Lisa to come, I need to ask her something." Mimi smiles and squeezes my hands, probably sensing my confusion. Why does she have to talk to the piercing girl? Is there something wrong with her tongue? "Don't worry, I'm fine, I just want to ask her about tongue care. You go warm up, I'll be there."
I smile then squeeze her hands back and go to the stage to start getting ready. It doesn't work too well though because I keep getting distracted and interrupted. Not long after I start warming up, Lisa comes by. Fuck! I forgot to get Maureen to bring one of her friends for Lisa. Amazingly enough, she doesn't slap me for it, she just goes off to find someone to hook up with. That was odd. I shrug slightly and go back to tuning my guitar for the next few minutes.
Once I finally think I have it tuned, I start picking out a few chords that do not sound right as suddenly Mark's face pops up in front of me. I jump back a little and stifle a laugh. The kid looks so out of place here with his glasses and sweater. I'm still not sure why he always wears those things; no matter how much I make fun of him, he still insists that he's "cold". I think it might be some kind of reflex from when he was growing up… poor kid. I'm going to ask him sometime when it's just me and him- we do have real conversations sometimes. But right now he's sticking his camera in my face and I give my customary growl. I can't believe he brought that thing to a club. "Close on Roger, tuning the fender guitar for his first gig, since he sold the car and re-set up the band." For some reason, whenever Mark narrates for his camera he seems to start to talk lyrically. I watch as he presses a button, absently wondering what he's zooming on. "Smile, Roger?"
"Sorry, buddy." I hold back a grin and start fiddling with the tuning again. "Kinda busy." There, that sounds right. I set down the guitar and actually look at Mark. "Hey, thanks for coming tonight. It really means a lot to me, you know?" Ugh, I've never been good at expressing my feelings but that was just pathetic.
"No problem, Roger." He smiles at me and turns the camera off. "I wouldn't have missed this, I know your band's important to you." We don't sound like ourselves at all. I wonder if he's still mad that I'm always staying down with Mimi… "Rog… you didn't ask Maureen to come, did you?" So that's what this was all about.
"I did." I look at the expression on his face and suddenly start to become defensive. "Mark, she is still my friend. Just because you two aren't banging anymore, doesn't mean—" I break off, watching Mark's facial expression change again. "Besides, she overheard me and Mimi talking about it." I look down at my guitar pick, suddenly feeling bad about saying that. "Sorry Mark," I mumble.
"What was that you just said?" Mark asks, "discreetly" switching his camera on. I wonder if he realizes that I can see that red light-thing flashing at me.
"I said that I was sorry," I say loudly, looking directly into the camera. Mark smiles brightly at me and turns the camera on himself.
"Hear that folks? Roger Davis himself, actually apologizing. And I've got it on tape." I look up at him and growl before refocusing on the guitar pick. Mark turns the camera off again and looks at me, still smiling. He looks psychotic. "I'm going to have to show this to Mimi the next time you're being stubborn."
I roll my eyes at him and hold my hand out for the camera. "Mark, shut up, give me that thing and go find some fling to make you forget Maureen." To my amazement, he's actually considering this and slowly starts to move the camera towards my outstretched hand. "Look, I promise I'll take good care of your "baby". Now go out there and have some fun for once." He smiles tentatively and sets the camera down in my hand then runs off into the club. I actually didn't intend for him to go along with it, but at least he's not hiding behind that thing for once. I put the camera down in my guitar case so I won't forget it while the rest of the band starts warming up.
Once everyone's ready we start playing 'Juicy Fruit' to get the club attention then segue into one of our more hardcore songs. Everything's so familiar and as I become more comfortable with the song, I start to look over the club. Damn, it feels so good to be back. I hold back a grin as I start to take in the girls in the audience… they all want me. I know they do. I suddenly catch sight of the Latina standing right up by the stage, not dancing at all, just standing and watching me, smiling. Fuck Roger, why would you care what those girls think? You have Mimi. Look at her. She's gorgeous and she loves you and you love her. We need each other. I don't want to do anything to make myself lose her again and I've been trying so hard not to let myself get jealous. It's so hard, sometimes I just want to lock her into the apartment to stop her from going to work. I don't want her stripping for all those other guys… but she can't stand it when I get jealous so I force myself not to react when other guys look at her. And now I'm the one screwing things up, thinking about those girls.
I hate myself. I have to make this all better tonight. She doesn't need to know I thought this, but I have to make things better. Because I couldn't stand to lose her again, it's as simple as that.
We move into one of the slower songs, one that's just me after the first few bars. I can fix it… I can make myself feel better over all this. Right before the rest of the band drops off, I hold my hand out to Mimi, motioning for her to come onto the stage. She, after looking surprised and hesitating for a second, climbs onto the stage as gracefully as she can and perches on her knees by my feet. I smile and sing the rest of the song directly at her. After it ends, I set the guitar down then take her hand and stand up, facing her. I lean down and softly kiss her, aware that a lot of people are going to be pissed off at me. "I love you Mimi," I whisper, running my thumb over her cheek.
She reaches up and picks my hand up in hers. "I love you too Rog. Look… I think I need to get down, people are going to be really pissed off at the both of us… especially all of your girl groupie-fans."
"I don't care… I don't need them, I need you. I love you and I'm always going to, so I don't care. It's so simple." I'm briefly amazed by how sappy I sound, before realizing that I really do mean everything I'm saying, no matter how stupid it sounds. Things are going to be okay, at least for awhile. I squeeze Mimi's hand and return to my guitar, feeling a thousand times better then before.
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Okay, so I'm not the greatest at writing for Roger, but we needed this part to move the plot along! Anyway, Aaron should be reappearing within the next part or so… soooo… yeah, that plot's going to be getting a lot more focus.
Disclaimer: Everyone in this part except Lisa belongs to Jonathan Larson. And technically Lisa belongs to him as well.
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