Chapter Six: Power of Guilt
Sir Plucki entered his youngest knight's room in the Glen. He laid still, unmoving. Grammi was unwilling to let the knights take him. The only reason she was getting any sleep was because of some sleeping dust.
The knight pulled up a chair and sat down by the cub's bedside. He gently turned the child's head, hoping beyond hope for some reply, some reaction. He received neither. The cub lay silent, unmoving.
"Come on lad, don't you quit on me now."
Plucki laid his wrist against the cub's forehead and once again found it clammy with sweat. He drenched a cloth in some warm water and wiped the sweat from the younger knight's forehead. Not even a twitch of reply.
Plucki sighed out loud and cursed himself. How could he? If he had only…if he had…
"So many what ifs."
He knew that this was exactly what Emi wanted him to do…to blame himself. But as much as Plucki tried not to, he couldn't help it. Plucki loved that cub. Not just as a fellow knight but as a friend. Plucki wanted to be fair to Cubbi as he was a fully anointed knight but at the same time, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect the cub.
Plucki sighed. When he and the other two knights, Blastus and Gumlittle, had been cubs they always teased him that he would be a really annoying father with the way he worried and was so mature all the time. Plucki never married. He felt that it would be unfair to his mate with the way he had to leave most of the time. But he loved children. He was disappointed he could never have cubs of his own. And the children of Gummadoon kept their distance. They awed him like he was a god of some sort. The same was true of the other knights. But not Cubbi. Cubbi respected them but was not afraid to approach them. To Plucki, that cub was the closest to his own cub, as he would ever get. He loved him like his own.
Guilt overwhelmed the knight again as he glanced at the small child. He was quiet, so eerily still. Plucki had grown to know Cubbi very well. The child was never still. He was always into something. Seeing him so uncannily still froze Plucki's heart.
"Mon ami?"
Turning, Plucki saw Blastus come in. Although they were fellow knights they were first of all friends. When they were younger, Plucki, Blastus and Gumlittle had been called the Troublesome Trio.
"Yes, Blastus?"
"Any change?"
"No, none."
Blastus sat down and said,
"Gruffi says we can take Cubbi to Gummadoon. But they want to be near him."
Plucki's eyes never left Cubbi. He stated simply,
"I thought Grammi was against it."
"Qui. But Gruffi convinced her that he needed protection."
Plucki nodded. "Good. When did he say we should go?"
"Tout-suite. That's why I came in here. To get you."
Plucki nodded and gently lifted Cubbi into his arms. As before, he received no response from the child, not even a groan, which was a small reaction Plucki kept praying for. He never received it.
As the two adults walked out, Gruffi and a tired looking Grammi greeted them. They were coming. The others, as much as they wanted to come, they couldn't all abandon the Glen, especially with new friends who'd just moved in. Gusto was even coming over for a few days.
The adults said nothing to each other and left in silence.
* * *
A week passed with no change. Gruffi and Grammi stayed with Cubbi as long as they could. But eventually they too had to sleep and were put into a dust-induced sleep by Gummadoon's physicians. The dust would keep them out for at least a day and a half.
In the meantime, Plucki stayed with the child. He had visited often when the Glen adults were with him. But now that he was alone with the cub, a surge of guilt overwhelmed him and he crumbled, face in his left palm.
"How could I have been so foolish?"
Plucki had forgotten what it was like to be a child. When the war between Gummies and humans broke out, he'd forgotten how children managed to find hope in the dreariest circumstance. He'd forgotten that children were rash. Plucki growled. Rolling his hands into fists, he wished once again that he could turn time backward and undo what he'd done.
Plucki turned to the cub. He was as still as he been when Plucki laid him there a week ago. When the cub had not recovered in a few days, the chefs and physicians worked together and managed to fix a drink of nutrients that could be forced down the cub's throat to keep him alive. The process was tedious but no one uttered a complaint.
Plucki looked to Cubbi and put two fingers to the cub's throat to check for a heartbeat. He found one, slow but steady and firm. He took one of the child's hands in his own and found it limp, almost lifeless if not for the warmth of it. Rubbing it between his own two hands, the older knight stared down at the palm he held.
The child's hand was so small when compared with his own. And fragile. Cubbi was smart and resourceful but he was physically much weaker and that's what frightened Plucki. He didn't know what Celina had done to him. None of the gummies knew. With Cubbi's present physical strength, he could very well be killed by it.
Plucki raised his eyes to the child's face. Cubbi breathed deeply and normally. But he was silent otherwise. Plucki traced the cub's face with one of his fingers.
"I'm sorry lad. Gum Above, if I could undo just one thing…"
He paused unable to finish. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and then said,
"Cubbi, forgive me."