Lonely Tonight


Gojyo sighed and dragged a weary hand over crimson eyes as he entered the room he was currently staying in that night at the inn Hakkai had selected at random. He didn't know if Hakkai had planned it or not, but as a result, the inn selected was void of any visitors other than themselves and each boy had their own room-and *bed* that night. Gojyo highly suspected Hakkai of picking the deserted looking inn on purpose, Hakkai being the one to normally share with him…and well, even Hakkai's patience had its limits.

Gojyo felt an unusual gnawing of guilt at his soul as he made his way across the room to collapse on the bed, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he sunk into the soft mattress. He couldn't imagine *why* the inn was so deserted that night, the food had been delicious, the innkeeper courteous, the maids were cute little things, and this bed was delightfully soft and smelled good too. Gojyo rolled over and buried his head in his pillow, inhaling deeply and sighing happily. If Gojyo had his way, he'd stay right here forever, thanks very much.

Gojyo sighed again and sat up, running a hand through his hair as he casually lit up a cigarette, opening up a window on second thought as he glanced at the No-Smoking sign pasted above his doorway. In the room next to his, he could see the window already open a thin trail of smoke drifting out of it. Apparently Mister-Worldly-Monk over there couldn't sleep without a smoke either.

Gojyo smirked quietly to himself as he sat back on his bed, leaning against the headboard and taking a deep drag of his cigarette. His eyes closed as he relaxed with the welcome scent of nicotine flooding his senses and against his will, through the fogs of smoke, he saw the image of Sanzou, sitting on his bed in a similar position, with his newspaper lying forgotten across his lap and that obscure expression of solemn incomprehensibleness painted across his face. "Stupid monk," Gojyo muttered, his eyes opening as he withdrew his cigarette from his mouth enable him to speak. "He's even ruining my cigarettes now."

Not true. Sanzou didn't do a thing to ruin his cigarette. It was the uneasy feeling the thought of Sanzou brought with him. The feeling that Gojyo wanted more than just a slap with a fan. *A lot* more. Something along the lines of a kiss or two or three type of more.

Gojyo couldn't help smirking at the thought of Sanzou kissing him. Or more accurately, him kissing Sanzou. Either way, the idea was ridiculous. Sanzou was not the kissing type, whether he be the kisser or the kissed. Watching the thin trail of smoke drift across the room and out the open window, Gojyo wondered idly what kind of kisser Sanzou would be if ever given the chance. A brutal one, Gojyo decided. With his demanding, fierce nature, Sanzou would be a brutal kisser. Completely unlike Hakkai, who Gojyo envisioned to be a gentle and still passionate kisser or Goku who was envisioned to be a clumsy and still pathetically sweet kisser. No, Sanzou would be the type who'd bite down on his partner's lower lip to get him to open his mouth rather than try to seduce his partner into opening his lips. Gojyo's smirk grew as he realized he was envisioning Sanzou with strictly male partners. Tall, redheaded male partners to be exact.

"I'd *kill* to kiss that man," Gojyo decided, twirling his cigarette on the tips of his fingers, wincing as the hot ash on the end crumbled and fell onto his flesh. "Damn," he hissed, slipping one burnt finger into his mouth and trying to soothe the hurt. Despite his pain, Gojyo had the idea that Sanzou's mouth enveloping his burnt fingers would do the trick much better than his own could. This idea turned a smirk into a full-blown grin and fit of laughter as the redhead snickered over the idea of Sanzou suckling *anyone's* fingers, let alone his own.

"Kappa! Shut up!" A *very* cranky monk's voice issued from the other side of the wall, followed by what sounded like a newspaper being rapped on the wall.

"Speak of the devil," Gojyo murmured and called in a louder voice, "You shut up, droopy-eyed monk!"

"After you, sonofabitch!"

"That hurts, Sanzou. That really hurts." Gojyo smirked good-naturedly as he slid off the bed and neared the wall separating the room. He could hear the thump of Sanzou's newspaper as the monk threw it irritably on the nightstand and stood up. "Hey Sanzou…"

"What do you want?" Sanzou's voice was a low growl as the wooden wall sighed under his added weight, giving away the fact he was now leaning against the wall Gojyo was.

"Just someone to talk to…" Gojyo sighed and he slipped down the wall, until he was sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the wall. "I'm lonely."

"Erro-kappas get lonely?"

"Just like worldly monks, right?"

There was a long pause of silence on the monk's side of the wall and Gojyo smiled, taking a long drag at his cigarette, waiting for a response. There was a moment of shuffling as Sanzou adjusted his position and finally, there was a gravelly response, so soft, Gojyo had to strain to hear it. "Just like worldly monks."

Gojyo laughed, a low amused sound that seemed to fill the whole room with its sound. "Strange world, isn't it? …Sanzou-sama. In any other time and place, you'd never catch a great Genjo Sanzou associating with a lowly kappa."

"And in any other time and place…you'd never catch a great Genjo Sanzou smoking, drinking, and beating an ape with his fan."

"No…you wouldn't, would you?" Gojyo's smile slowly disappeared as he tilted his head back, grimacing as he hit the wall a little too hard. "Ow…"

"Watch it, Gojyo."

"You've never said my name before. It's always kappa…sometimes stupid or moron…occasionally imbecile…once in a great while, Sha. You've never said just plain Gojyo before though." Gojyo sighed heavily, watching as his cigarette extinguished itself. "Damn."

"What is it?"

"My last cigarette. It just burned out." Gojyo groaned and lowered his head so that his forehead brushed his knees. "Dammit…Sanzou, I need a smoke and while I'm at it, I think I need a lay. Yeah, that'd be nice too."

A low rumble issued from the other wall, something that could only be identified as laughter. Gojyo's head shot up. He'd made Sanzou laugh, something Goku couldn't accomplish with his doglike devotion or Hakkai with his unending kindness? Well *damn*! An unexpected feeling of pride welled up in Gojyo's chest. *He'd* made the human ice block laugh! "Gojyo…you're relentless."

"I'm serious," Gojyo, insisted, his eyes half-closing as he tilted his back again, more careful this time. This time, his hair barely brushed the wall. "Sometimes the only way to drive away the loneliness is to either drink yourself into oblivion or find a girl to distract you for a while, just long enough to make you feel warm again."

"Did you say guy?" Sanzou stopped abruptly and Gojyo nearly fell over in shock. [1]

#@#@#@

Sanzou could have shot himself the instant he uttered those words. "Oh *shit*," he hissed out, crushing his newspaper in his hands. He hadn't just said that, had he?

He had.

Sanzou moaned softly as he tossed the newspaper back onto the nightstand he was standing next to. "Brilliant," he whispered. "Just brilliant." An angry look crossed his face as he glanced up to see his reflection in the mirror. Sanzou didn't like what he saw reflected in his eyes when the thought of Gojyo crossed his brain. He didn't want to see the brightening of his eyes when Gojyo crossed his mind, he didn't want to see the reluctant curve of his lips, he didn't want to see the unmistakable look of wanting, need…the look of *desire* in his eyes.

There was no turning back from the new direction his thoughts had taken. Sanzou's eyes fluttered closed as he allowed himself to delve deeper into these new thoughts. The image of Gojyo's familiar smirk crossed his mind and he lingered on the thought of those lips. Warm, thin lips closing over his, brutally intense in their perusal…

It was with a shuddering intake of air Sanzou stopped his train of thoughts. No, he didn't want Gojyo in his room, making him feel things like that. It was bad enough he was already being decent to the redhead and had even fallen into some sort of camaraderie that night. But to totally drop all defenses and allow the other man to come closer than the thin wall separating them? No. No fucking *way*.

Sanzou let out an irritated groan as he cradled his head in his hands, sinking down quietly into the bed. The kappa was right. Even worldly monks get lonely.

Sanzou sighed as he stretched out on his bed. No sound from the other room...Sanzou smirked. Apparently he'd shut Gojyo up. Good. Sanzou was no longer in the mood to talk, especially with Gojyo. The redhead had succeeded in leaving Sanzou thoroughly disgruntled and entirely confused.

And Genjo Sanzou does not like feeling like that.

There was a knock on his door, and Sanzou sighed, assuming it to be Goku. "What do you-," Sanzou paused abruptly, the angry glint in his eyes fading as he jerked the door open.

"Sanzou." Gojyo stared at him with wide, desperate red eyes.

Beautiful red eyes.

Sanzou closed his eyes briefly, chasing the thought away. "What?"

Perfectly shaped lips hovered close to his then. "I told you…Sanzou, I'm lonely.

Sanzou's eyes met his and for a perfect moment, there were no words, no thoughts, just two lonely hearts beating in time with one another's and the steady breathing mingling with one another's. And then, Gojyo broke the silence, leaning closer and grazing Sanzou's pale lips with his own, his hands resting on the monk's shoulders after a brief moment.

Sanzou glared up at the redhead, as their lips broke apart. Gojyo gave him a rueful smile and said softly, "Are you lonely tonight?"

Sanzou's eyes were wide as he stared up at Gojyo. No emotion was betrayed in those eyes and after a moment, he stepped aside from the door, wordlessly inviting Gojyo in. Gojyo stepped in and Sanzou closed the door behind him.

His hands resting behind his back on the doorknob, Sanzou turned and whispered softly, "I'm lonely tonight."

Every now and then there's a moment when a revelation is uncovered. There's nothing then, nothing but sheer, raw emotion that takes over and there are two people in the middle of it all, struggling away from the boundaries that surround them, until they find exactly what they've unconsciously been searching for.

"Sanzou."

The name was only a breath of air, exhaled as Gojyo neared the monk and stared forthrightly into his eyes. There was no response from the stolid man, save the quick intake of air as Gojyo's hand lifted and ghosted over the curve of Sanzou's face. There was a long moment of revered silence as their eyes locked on each other's and Gojyo's hand rested on the monk's cheek, warming the cool skin with the heat of his hand.

"What…" Sanzou paused and involuntarily, shivered slightly as Gojyo gently moved his hand across Sanzou's face, his thumb brushing Sanzou's lips. "…are you doing?"

"I really don't know," Gojyo murmured, a small smile starting at his lips.

And then, in the gold-white light the moon cast into the darkened room, Gojyo's hands slowly traveled down Sanzou's body, taking away the last of his defenses until the only thing that was left was the aching need to be swept of the horrible loneliness that could bring the strongest of them to his knees.

Crying.

"Gojyo…" Sanzou's voice was shaky, the closest he'd ever come to letting go of any emotion other than irritated anger. "Just…" He stopped speaking as quiet lips covered his suddenly.

"No more words," Gojyo pleaded. "Just…let me take away the loneliness."

::End::

[1] Sank you Kai!