His Will
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
I don't like that dogface mutt, but even I have to respect his fighting prowess. He may not be up to my level, but if he wanted to, he could seriously hurt me. Especially since I lost my Shikon shards to that bastard Naraku… Not that I'd admit it to him. The hanyou has enough of an ego as it is.
When the call came, carried by his retainer, I originally wasn't going to answer. I'm the prince of the Wolf Tribe, not a minor youkai that can be ordered around. Still, my curiosity got the better of me, and I found myself going to meet him at the edge of the mountains, where my territory ended and that of Kinoden, the youkai of the forest, began.
To my surprise, he was there before I arrived. I'd planned on arriving early to check for traps, but he was there already. I saw him perched on a stump; his golden eyes glimmered dimly in the dawn's light. In the five years since we had met, I had never seen him look so defeated- his posture was slumped, and his fingers played with the hilt of his sword nervously.
"Oi, dogface…" I called. "Whaddya want?"
He shifted his position, so he could meet my eyes. "Kouga… I need to talk to you."
I sniffed. There was no way I'd be taken in by his grave tone- even if he was using my real name, rather then calling me by some kind of insult. "What? You finally ready for that fight? Ready to die?"
Instead of rising to the bait, he became even more solemn. "I'm ready to die, but you won't be the one to kill me," he said softly. "My life is already promised to another."
I blinked, processing his words. They lacked the challenge I was used to hearing in his voice; he spoke calmly, with a certain serenity that terrified me. He was… fey. That was the word- a man who could see his death, and had accepted it. "What are you talking about?" I demanded angrily. "This thoughtfulness doesn't suit you! You're going to fry your small brain!" I placed my hand angrily on my hips, striding towards him. If I hit him upside the head a few times, perhaps he'd return to being the jerk I was used to.
He stopped me with just two words. "Naraku's dead."
I growled low in my throat at the name. "What?" I demanded angrily. Naraku was supposed to have been my kill, my revenge for the fallen members of my pack!
There was no pride in the hanyou's voice as he explained what had happened to me. "Naraku sent Kagura and Kanna after us again. Kanna managed to capture Sango's soul, and we had to go after her. Kagura did her best to protect her older sister, but Miroku managed to shatter Kanna's mirror using a ward of truth, or something like that… and when the mirror shattered, Kanna died."
It was good news to me. I'd had two run-ins with the Nihility youkai, and her death was a fine thing. She was creepy; I hated Naraku and Kagura, but Kanna just made my flesh crawl. "Well, that's good news!" I declared. "But why did Naraku get involved?"
"Kagura… she just went nuts. She started to destroy everything… Sango was recovered enough to get on Kirara's back, but she couldn't fight. Kagome shot Kagura with an arrow while she was trying to fight me, and it actually got through. And that got Naraku's attention."
"So he actually cared for Kagura?" I asked with surprise. Naraku seemed to care for nothing aside from the Shikon no Tama, and manipulating people against each other. The idea that he could care for one of his detachments, even Kagura who I saw as his female self, was decidedly against what I knew of him.
Inu Yasha shook his head. "I think he was more insulted by the fact that we actually managed to kill her- Kanna was one thing… get by her mirror, and there was no way she could defend herself. Kagura, though, was quite another. She was strong."
I nodded slowly. "So how did he die? Can I hope it was unpleasant?" I asked hopefully. I had wanted the bastard to feel my fists and see my triumphant face as the last thing before he departed this world permanently, but it looked like I was going to have to settle for whatever Inu Yasha had cooked up.
A vicious grin lit the hanyou's face, the tips of his fangs peeking out from his lips. "Kikyou purified him… and for Naraku, there could be no more unpleasant way to go." His eyes shone with his joy brought about by finally settling the score.
I had heard to story. Kagome had told me the story one night when we had been alone. I hadn't kidnapped her that time- it was the… second time she had gotten separated from her friends? Maybe the third? It had been a while ago.
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I found her wandering the forest alone, an arrow notched on her bowstring, and her shirtsleeve stained with the red of blood- not hers, though. It smelled like the hanyou's. "Kagome?" I called, moving towards her out of the heavy shadows cast by the ancient trees.
She looked at me, her reflexes causing her to aim at the shadows where I was standing before her thoughts caught up with her instincts. "Kouga-kun?" She relaxed slightly as I stepped towards her.
"Hello, Kagome!" I said cheerfully, picking up her hands in mine and giving them a light squeeze. She blushed slightly as I wrapped a familiar arm around her waist. "Looking for me?" I knew the answer, but a guy could dream, right? She was too obsessed with the Shikon no Tama to worry about being my woman yet- though she would. As soon as I killed Naraku and she finished assembling the Shikon (which she would, of course, give to her devoted mate), we'd go live together. The tribe was already preparing Kagome her own area for privacy- they liked her quite a bit and were willing to put up with her human eccentricities.
"I got lost," she said, sighing. "Kagura managed to knock Tanuki-san off course, and he lost his passengers- we're scattered." Kagome's eyes were grim, and my eyes trailed to the blood on her sleeve.
"Is dogface badly hurt?" I asked.
She started with surprise. "How did you- oh. You smell his blood. I forget about the youkai thing sometimes," she confessed. "No, he's fine- it was hardly a scratch- and he should have healed by now… I just have to find him!"
"Well, it's getting dark. You'd best make camp, and tomorrow I'll help you look," I offered. "You're human- you can't see that well in the dark, and the youkai are starting to come out."
"But-" she began to protest.
I shook my head. "I'll go get you some dinner while you start a fire. It's not safe for you to be out here alone," I told her, though that was only partially true. Kagome still had her bow and arrows, and no youkai messed with those and survived. She had power, and that was one of the things that attracted me to her.
"Thanks," she said. She set down her large yellow bag and started to rummage through it.
It took me less then ten minutes to kill a couple of rabbits. Normally I would have just eaten it, but I had learned that humans liked to burn their meat- some kind of ritual, I guess. I went back to the camp she was building, carrying my prize proudly. Kagome had created a fire, laid out some bedding, and was now nose-deep in weirdly bound scrolls she insisted on studying. "Oi, Kagome! Got some rabbit!"
She looked up and smiled, as beautiful as she was powerful. "Thanks, Kouga-kun… did you clean them?" she asked as she set her scrolls aside.
"Clean? Should I go dip them in a brook?" I asked curiously. I didn't get humans. What would a little dirt hurt?
She giggled. "Give them to me," she said, pulling a knife sheathed in heavy leather out of her bag. "I guess it's something wolf youkai don't bother with."
I handed them over and gasped as she cut deeply into it, spilling its insides on the ground. "Hey!" I yelled. "You're ruining it!"
"Huh?"
I gestured to the entrails she had let fall. "That's the best part!"
She made a face. "Humans usually don't eat that part," she informed me. "I'll be more careful with the second one," she promised.
"Bah! Why burn it in the first place?"
She looked at me. "It's healthier. If you cook meat, your less likely to get sick from eating it."
I took the rabbit she hadn't skinned and ripped into it with my fingers, reveling in the warm blood the flowed into my hands. The scent tantalized my senses. She watched me, and I was surprised she didn't seem disgusted. "Does the mutt eat things raw as well?" I asked as I pulled off the first strip of flesh and popped it into my mouth. The rabbit had been young, and it showed through the tenderness of the meat.
"He was raised as a human, so he prefers things cooked," she answered softly. She finished removing the skin and speared a stick through it, then propped it into the fire with evident practice.
The firelight reflected off of her hair, and I stared at her in fascination. She was a beautiful enigma; one I wanted to solve. "Can I ask something?" I wanted to know.
She seemed slightly distracted by the meat that was just beginning to cook. "What, Kouga-kun?"
"What exactly is your relationship with him? And tell me the truth this time."
Her face flushed deeply- my eyes caught it. "We're friends," she said softly.
"Just friends?"
She seemed to deflate slightly, and I wondered if I had said something wrong. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. "We can never be anything more. Inu Yasha is in love with someone else."
The idea was unthinkable to me. Inu Yasha was blessed with Kagome's presence constantly, and he chose to love someone else? How could he not love her? I growled low in my throat. "Who is it? Is it Sango?" I wasn't sure if I was glad for the news or not- it would be much easier to get Kagome to live with me if she wasn't encumbered with the stupid dog boy, but I could practically touch her hurt- it was that tangible.
She shook her head. "No. It's more complicated than that." She turned the spit over to let the rabbit cook on the other side. "What do you know of him?"
"He's a hanyou, annoying, and stupid to boot. Naraku hates him. He has that sword Tetsusaiga, and he's a fairly decent fighter. Right now he's trying to put the Shikon no Tama back together, with your help."
"Did you hear about what happened to him fifty years ago?"
"He's that old?" I asked, surprised. He'd always struck me as young- I was fifty, barely beginning the long life I could expect to enjoy, but Inu Yasha was half-human. I'd placed his age in the late twenties, or maybe early thirties, the equivalent of a human in his mid-teens. Hanyous aged in a strange fashion. The idea that he was older then I was abhorrent.
"In a manner of speaking, I guess you could say that.
"Fifty years ago, Inu Yasha first heard about the Shikon no Tama. It was being guarded by a village miko, a powerful woman named Kikyou."
"Kikyou? That dead woman?"
"You've met?" The question was out of politeness, not genuine surprise.
"She's hard to miss," I said dryly. Kikyou: a woman who reeked of the grave so strongly that I had ordered my men to leave her to her business as long as she returned the same courtesy. Toying with her would be embracing death.
"Indeed. Anyway, they fell in love eventually, and Inu Yasha agreed to become human for her. Naraku tricked Kikyou and Inu Yasha into killing each other before it could happen, though- that's why Inu Yasha hates him so overpoweringly." She rotated the rabbit again.
"They both look alive to me- well, Inu Yasha does at least," I pointed out. I was still reeling from one of the things Kagome had let drop, perhaps inadvertently- Inu Yasha had once desired to become human? The thought was repellant. One of the strongest fighters I knew wanted to give up his youkai heritage?
"Kikyou sealed Inu Yasha to Goshinboku even as she was dying from the wounds Naraku had inflicted on her while disguised as Inu Yasha. I freed him a few years ago."
"And Kikyou?" I asked.
"She was brought back to life a while after Inu Yasha by an ogress." She pulled the rabbit out of the flames finally, and let it cool before taking a small bite. "She hates him now, even though she knows the truth. He still loves her, though."
"And how do you fit in?"
She was silent for a while, and I could see that she was weighing something important by the introspective look on her face. "Kikyou is me- or rather, her soul is mine. I'm her reincarnation," she told me finally, her voice so quiet that I wouldn't have heard had I been a mere human.
"What?" I looked at her in shock. I believed in reincarnation, but to actually meet the person -or creature, as Kikyou was now- must be a seriously disorientating and upsetting experience.
She lowered her eyes. "She hates me for that. I've got her soul."
My scowled deepened even further. "Then how come that mutt doesn't love you? You're the same person!" He was my rival and I hated him for that, but I hated him even more for hurting Kagome- she didn't deserve to suffer.
She seemed to come out of her brooding. "I am not Kikyou! She and I are different people!" she insisted. "We merely share the same soul!"
I blinked in confusion. "Isn't the soul what makes a person?"
She stared into the fire, and I saw the mirror image of the flames dancing in her eyes. She took another bite on her rabbit before answering. "I've had a lot of time to think on it. The sum of their experiences, and the value of their heart make a person. Some of what she's done… I could never do. That means we're different. And I'm glad." I wasn't quite sure I got what she meant, but apparently Kagome understood, and that's what mattered. "Naraku was jealous of Kikyou and Inu Yasha, you know," she said. "He loved her."
I tried to picture Naraku in love with anyone, especially the woman I thought of as the walking corpse. I couldn't. "Huh?"
She explained it then, the entire twisted story of Onigumi and his warped desire for the pure miko. "Inu Yasha has promised to get revenge for Kikyou's death…. And after, he'll let her drag him into hell," she concluded. After a moment's silence she looked down at her half-eaten dinner and then handed it to me. "You can have the rest of this. I'm not hungry anymore."
I took it from her and began to eat it without appetite. I wasn't hungry, either.
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Inu Yasha watched me carefully. I was overjoyed that Naraku finally received his just desserts, but the news that Inu Yasha was going to let Kikyou take him with her to hell was certainly upsetting. Loving someone enough to die for her was one thing, but true love meant that you loved that person enough to live. I clenched my fists, restraining myself from strangling him only through sheer force of will.
"So you're joining Kikyou, then?" I asked.
He seemed uneasy, sad, upset, and resigned all at once. "I promised her." His fingers rose to tease his snow-white hair. "But that leaves Kagome… and I can't just leave her alone."
"Let Kikyou go on her own, then. She's already dead- how can you choose her over the living?" I asked. Kagome was going to be hurt, and though it hurt me, I refused to let Inu Yasha just do it.
"I owe her this. I failed to make her happy once- I'm not going to do it again." He set his jaw stubbornly.
"What about Kagome, then?" I demanded.
"She can't get home anymore. Kikyou used the power of the Shikon to get purify Naraku, and its gone now. So Kagome's stuck here."
A feeling of dread welled in my stomach. I could see where this was going. Damn him to hell! Even if he wasn't already on his way, he should still be sent there! He couldn't ask this of me!
"Miroku and Sango are talking about marriage, and it isn't fair to ask them to take care of Kagome when they're finally free to start their own lives. Shippou is only a child and doesn't have the power to fend off some of the powerful youkai that might come after her, and Kaede is too old. That leaves you. I don't like you, but you're strong enough to protect her."
I swore inwardly. I wanted Kagome, but not like this! "Does she know you're asking this of me?"
"Feh." He snorted, sounding more like his old self then he had since this conversation had begun. "The stupid woman would probably start in on how she can watch out for herself- but she can't."
I was forced to agree. Had she been ordinary, she might have been able to survive, but even after five years, Kagome was still a foreigner. And her power made her an enticing prize for any youkai seeking to improve his own lot in life. Even though she could purify things with a touch… there was the strong possibility that she could be overwhelmed. "So you want to send her off with me?"
He nodded slowly. "And if you're going to be Kagome's guardian, then you are to take Tetsusaiga." He sheathed the blade he bore so much pride in and tried to hand it to me.
I flinched back. I knew one with human blood could only wield the blade, not a youkai like myself. "Are you trying to kill me?" I howled angrily. What the blazes was the mutt thinking?
He shook his head. "The blade is partially made from my tooth, so I can choose who I want to wield it. Any heart that loves humans can- that's my legacy. And you love Kagome," he admitted.
I gingerly took the blade, afraid that this was some kind of elaborate trap. To my surprise, I wasn't blown back as I drew it from the sheath- in fact, it transformed in my hand. The heavy blade was balanced perfectly, and I could feel the power emanating from it. Inu Yasha must have loved Kagome quite a bit to give it to me, one of his rivals.
"Take care of it," he ordered. The light in his amber eyes was fierce. "And her."
"I will," I promised. "Where is she right now?"
"She's back at Kaede's- Miroku will be bringing her to your mountain later today. I… just couldn't bear to let her watch."
"Does she know?"
"She knows… but she doesn't know I intend to leave today. I just… couldn't bear to say goodbye."
I was about to chide him for his cowardice when the wind shifted, carrying a scent that was unmistakable: clay, and bone… and the scent of the grave. "Kikyou's coming," I said.
Inu Yasha rose to his feet slowly. "Tell Kagome- no, don't tell her anything. Sappy goodbyes aren't my thing."
"Inu Yasha," I called to him, trying to think of something fitting to say. It was strange that of everyone he knew, I was one of the last who would see him alive. Kagome or Miroku or Sango or even Shippou had more right then I.
"Sayonara, Kouga. Remember your promise."
I watched him as he moved towards where Kikyou stood waiting for him in the shadows. Part of me wanted to use the blade he had just entrusted to me and strike her down, to spare Kagome the anguish of Inu Yasha's death, but I couldn't do that. It was a matter of honor, one that didn't involve me. I swore and stood, dashing in the opposite direction. I didn't want to watch Inu Yasha die like this. A warrior deserved a better death.
As I raced back to the mountain to await Kagome's arrival, the sheathed Tetsusaiga bouncing against my hip, I trying to decide if Inu Yasha had been incredibly strong or incredibly weak to make the choices he had-
-Or if it was possible to be both.
Disclaimer: Takahashi Rumiko, not me. My ML is located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/