Lord of the Merchandise: Chapter III
Legolas made no reply, and only motioned silently for them all to follow him up to their rooms…
The other members of the Fellowship looked at each other, shrugged silently, and rose to follow Legolas, a puzzled look on each of their faces. They entered the office, and were greeted by Mama Vanwe with a catty, "What are you boys doin' here?" Everyone but Legolas simply looked at her, shrugging their shoulders. Again she raised a stubbly eyebrow as they passed out of the room. "Not real big talkers are ya'?" she called after them.
When they reached room #214 Legolas slowly unlocked the door and silently motioned for them to enter. "Why don't you have a look around, " he suggested. "There's some dark sorcery at work here, I fear."
"Oh, come off it, Legsie. You're on vacation! You need to learn to relax once in a while!" said Merry, kicking off his shoes and jumping onto the bed. He didn't realize any of the merchandise, seeing as he had purchased a new pair of designer sunglasses that he thought were very cool, and refused to take them off inside, even though he couldn't really see. "Mind if I use your bathroom, Lego-man?"
Legolas shot him a grave look. "Go ahead, Master Hobbit."
"Oh, come on man! Dude, that 'Master Somebody' thing is so lame," Merry teased as he headed into the bathroom. Legolas just smirked at him as the Hobbit closed the bathroom door behind him. The others had begun to look around the room, wide-eyed. Legolas held his breath…
"HOLY ****NG**S**T!" Merry exclaimed from the bathroom. The door flew open and out ran the good Hobbit, his pants around his ankles as he brandished the disposable toilet seat cover emblazoned with his image. "I'm a freakin' toilet seat cover! And a disposable one!" Poor Merry looked terribly shocked. He no longer wore his very fashionable designer sunglasses.
"Alas!" replied Legolas, ignoring the dark look he received from Gandalf. "Each of us has is pictured on a cheap tacky product. What dark work is afoot here, I would like to know?"
"I have feared this for some time," said Aragorn darkly from a corner where he sat hunched over, gazing at Arwen the pillow. "I fear the rise of some new evil, one that Middle Earth has never before had to face. I do not yet know if the rumors are true, but this is ill news. We can tarry here no longer. There is only one place where we may now be able to confirm this growing threat. We will leave in the morning."
"Aragoooorn," whined Frodo, "we're supposed to be on vacation! We've had enough saving the world for many lifetimes…"
"Perhaps the son of Arathorn speaks the truth," said Legolas grimly. "Look in the bathroom. Perhaps it is not evil in itself, but I too have heard the rumors, and this seems an ill omen."
After seeing the merchandise that adorned the main room, the rest of the Fellowship wasn't terribly concerned, but Legolas insisted on going to have a look in the bathroom.
"Honestly Lego, if someone wants to put us on a lampshade, I really don't see the harm in it," said Pippin. "Think of it as flattery…we're quite famous, I suppose!"
"Hm," grunted Legolas.
"I'm a bath towel?!?!" shouted Aragorn. "I thought that this great Darkness could at least put me on something cool!"
Gandalf snickered. "Guess they wanted you to take a hint," he replied, his eyes twinkling under extremely bushy and wild eyebrows.
"Oy, Gandalf, you're a shaving cream!" yelled Sam, laughing as he tossed the Wizard a bottle bearing his likeness. "And get a load o' this, guys! Gimli's a disposable razor!" The Fellowship snickered. Legolas suggested cheekily that perhaps Gimli could use it on his back.
The Fellowship spent the next several minutes discovering all the tacky crap that their lovely faces were now imprinted on. For the most part, each was secretly pleased with their respective product, not seeing how this could amount to some great evil. After all, shower caps and little bars of soap weren't exactly an evil Ring of Power. It all seemed harmless. A little shocking, perhaps, but it didn't seem as if another great Darkness was in danger of overtaking the land. Pippin had donned his shower cap and was spraying Merry with Gandalf the shaving cream. Merry was attempting to ward off the foam with Aragorn the towel, wearing Merry the toilet seat cover around his neck.
"Enough!" shouted Aragorn. He was in a sour mood, and would not tolerate any more of the Hobbits' foolishness. "I suggest you all get some rest while you can. We will leave very early tomorrow morning."
"Party pooper," mumbled Pippin in a voice Aragorn couldn't hear.
"I heard that," said Legolas, who could hear everything, so there wasn't even any use in trying to say anything secret around him.
"Oh, shit," said Frodo. "Just what I needed, another mighty and dangerous quest…"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ARGGHH! This is still boring…but please stay tuned, because next they are going to discover the true evil, and find the action figures and stuff. I have a quote I've been waiting patiently to use…Finally I have set up the premise so it can get moving. (I mean it this time! Really!)
REVIEW?!?!? Please, if you want to save me sanity! Otherwise I will have to force my poor little brother into writing more reviews pretending to be someone else! Oh, the pathetic-ness….lol.
Legolas made no reply, and only motioned silently for them all to follow him up to their rooms…
The other members of the Fellowship looked at each other, shrugged silently, and rose to follow Legolas, a puzzled look on each of their faces. They entered the office, and were greeted by Mama Vanwe with a catty, "What are you boys doin' here?" Everyone but Legolas simply looked at her, shrugging their shoulders. Again she raised a stubbly eyebrow as they passed out of the room. "Not real big talkers are ya'?" she called after them.
When they reached room #214 Legolas slowly unlocked the door and silently motioned for them to enter. "Why don't you have a look around, " he suggested. "There's some dark sorcery at work here, I fear."
"Oh, come off it, Legsie. You're on vacation! You need to learn to relax once in a while!" said Merry, kicking off his shoes and jumping onto the bed. He didn't realize any of the merchandise, seeing as he had purchased a new pair of designer sunglasses that he thought were very cool, and refused to take them off inside, even though he couldn't really see. "Mind if I use your bathroom, Lego-man?"
Legolas shot him a grave look. "Go ahead, Master Hobbit."
"Oh, come on man! Dude, that 'Master Somebody' thing is so lame," Merry teased as he headed into the bathroom. Legolas just smirked at him as the Hobbit closed the bathroom door behind him. The others had begun to look around the room, wide-eyed. Legolas held his breath…
"HOLY ****NG**S**T!" Merry exclaimed from the bathroom. The door flew open and out ran the good Hobbit, his pants around his ankles as he brandished the disposable toilet seat cover emblazoned with his image. "I'm a freakin' toilet seat cover! And a disposable one!" Poor Merry looked terribly shocked. He no longer wore his very fashionable designer sunglasses.
"Alas!" replied Legolas, ignoring the dark look he received from Gandalf. "Each of us has is pictured on a cheap tacky product. What dark work is afoot here, I would like to know?"
"I have feared this for some time," said Aragorn darkly from a corner where he sat hunched over, gazing at Arwen the pillow. "I fear the rise of some new evil, one that Middle Earth has never before had to face. I do not yet know if the rumors are true, but this is ill news. We can tarry here no longer. There is only one place where we may now be able to confirm this growing threat. We will leave in the morning."
"Aragoooorn," whined Frodo, "we're supposed to be on vacation! We've had enough saving the world for many lifetimes…"
"Perhaps the son of Arathorn speaks the truth," said Legolas grimly. "Look in the bathroom. Perhaps it is not evil in itself, but I too have heard the rumors, and this seems an ill omen."
After seeing the merchandise that adorned the main room, the rest of the Fellowship wasn't terribly concerned, but Legolas insisted on going to have a look in the bathroom.
"Honestly Lego, if someone wants to put us on a lampshade, I really don't see the harm in it," said Pippin. "Think of it as flattery…we're quite famous, I suppose!"
"Hm," grunted Legolas.
"I'm a bath towel?!?!" shouted Aragorn. "I thought that this great Darkness could at least put me on something cool!"
Gandalf snickered. "Guess they wanted you to take a hint," he replied, his eyes twinkling under extremely bushy and wild eyebrows.
"Oy, Gandalf, you're a shaving cream!" yelled Sam, laughing as he tossed the Wizard a bottle bearing his likeness. "And get a load o' this, guys! Gimli's a disposable razor!" The Fellowship snickered. Legolas suggested cheekily that perhaps Gimli could use it on his back.
The Fellowship spent the next several minutes discovering all the tacky crap that their lovely faces were now imprinted on. For the most part, each was secretly pleased with their respective product, not seeing how this could amount to some great evil. After all, shower caps and little bars of soap weren't exactly an evil Ring of Power. It all seemed harmless. A little shocking, perhaps, but it didn't seem as if another great Darkness was in danger of overtaking the land. Pippin had donned his shower cap and was spraying Merry with Gandalf the shaving cream. Merry was attempting to ward off the foam with Aragorn the towel, wearing Merry the toilet seat cover around his neck.
"Enough!" shouted Aragorn. He was in a sour mood, and would not tolerate any more of the Hobbits' foolishness. "I suggest you all get some rest while you can. We will leave very early tomorrow morning."
"Party pooper," mumbled Pippin in a voice Aragorn couldn't hear.
"I heard that," said Legolas, who could hear everything, so there wasn't even any use in trying to say anything secret around him.
"Oh, shit," said Frodo. "Just what I needed, another mighty and dangerous quest…"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ARGGHH! This is still boring…but please stay tuned, because next they are going to discover the true evil, and find the action figures and stuff. I have a quote I've been waiting patiently to use…Finally I have set up the premise so it can get moving. (I mean it this time! Really!)
REVIEW?!?!? Please, if you want to save me sanity! Otherwise I will have to force my poor little brother into writing more reviews pretending to be someone else! Oh, the pathetic-ness….lol.