Blind Dates: WWF Style!
A/N: Hey all you dudes and dudettes! Sorry about the not updating thing. I was kind of bummed that no one liked my 'Untitled' fic. But I read all your nice reviews like about ten times over and over. Man, talk about an ego booster! Heh… anywho, here is the fourth chapter. I hope you guys like it! …Ashlie
Disclaimer: Same old, same old. I don't own these people so don't sue. All I have is this piece of crap computer and a couple of bucks I stole from my mom.
Undertaker: Hello. It's me again, The Undertaker. Even after ten years in this business, I still don't get the respect that I deserve! And people call me a mad man! A sadistic psycho because I beat up Ric Flair's kid! He made me do it! I swear, if that's what I have to do to get my match with him, so be it. And if- *glass shatters and Stone Cold's music plays* What the? AUSTIN! STOP DISRESPECTING ME!
Austin: Respect you?
Taker: Yes I want you to respect me!
Austin: You want me to what?
Taker: I want you to respect me!
Austin: You what?
Taker: I said I want you to respect me!
Austin: What?
Taker: I SAID I WANT YOU TO-
Austin: WHAT?!
Taker: Fine then. Two can play this game!
Austin: WHAT?!
Taker: WHAT?!
Austin: WHAT?!
Taker: WHAT?!
Austin: WHAT?!
Taker: WHAT?!
Austin: WHAT?!
Taker: WHA- God damn it! You won again! *All of a sudden….FLASH!!!!*
Austin: Ha ha! I won! You lost! Nanny nanny boo boo!
Taker: Mommy! Make him stop! He keeps making fun of me!
Austin: I am not! You are a liar! Liar liar, pants on fire!
Taker: Waaaahhhhh!
Austin: You are such a baby!
Director: Uh… guys?
Austin: You in the heck are you?
Taker: Yeah *sniff*, who are you?
Director: Oh my god! You two have turned into five year olds!
Austin: Your point?
Director: What am I going to do! I have a fic to run! What am I going to do with two five year old yayhoos?
Taker: Did you just call me a yayhoo?!
Director: Well, yeah…
Taker: I know you are but what am I?
Director: How dare you! You little rascal!
Taker: I know you are but what am I?
Director: Butthole!
Taker: I know you are but what am I?
Director: Dork!
Taker: I know you are but what am I?
Director: Geek!
Taker: Taker: I know you are but what am I?
Director: Ha! I know…the smartest, coolest guy on the block!
Taker: I know I am, but what are you?
Austin: Good one! *Taker and Austin high five*
Director: Aw…shit!
Taker: Oh my goodness gracious!
Austin: You said the 'S' word! I am telling!
Director: Oh no your not!
Taker: Then I am!
Director: Yeah sure! Like anyone would believe you *snickers*
Austin: You butt sniffer! *Kicks the director*
Director: Why you little! *Starts to chase Austin and Taker*
Nikechik: Uh…sorry about that folks. As a replacement host, I have chosen Jim Ross for the moment. Go on Jim! Strut your stuff! *Pushes Jim Ross into the studio*
JR: What the? Where am I?
Nikechik: Quit blabbering on Ross! Just read the cue cards!
JR: Oh, ok. The male contestant on today's chapter will be Rob Van Dam and the female contestant will be Lita! From where I sit, this is set out to be a real slobber knocker. Quite frankly, this blind date should be restaurant quality. With that RVD being goofier than a pet coon and Lita being quite the jezebel lately, anything could happen!
Nikechik: What the? That's not on the cue cards! You are messing up this fic by using all your stupid phrases! Why I oughta…
JR: Well folks, why I go run like a scalded dog…enjoy the show *Runs out of the studio with Nikechik chasing after him*
*Cut to Lita waiting outside the Ceaser's (sp?) Palace*
RVD: *Walking up to Lita* Hey Lita! You must be my date. Cool!
Lita: Hey Rob! Could you do me a favor and not tell Matt? We broke up but I think he still is protective of me
RVD: Ok, cool.
Lita: Thanks! Anyways, I thought it would be fun if we went swimming
RVD: Cool! That sounds cool! But everything's cool when you are *does the thumbs thing* R-V-D!
Lita: Okkk…uh, cool! *They walk off holding hands*
*Cut to Matt and Jeff in army clothes hiding behind the bushes*
Matt: Oh my god! She was totally flirting with him! And he was totally hitting on her! Didn't you see it Jeff? Jeff? JEFF!
Jeff: AHH! Oh, what?
Matt: Are you listening to me?
Jeff: Yeah, sure. Hey! Did you see these binoculars? They are so awesome! You can see things that are like fifteen feet away!
Matt: *slaps his forehead* Come on! Let's go follow them! *They both get up and start walking in the direction RVD and Lita went*
*Cut to RVD and Lita in the pool*
Lita: *Laughing* Rob! Quit splashing! Rob? Rob! Where are you? Ok! You got me…where are you? Please stop Rob. I am getting really scared! Rob!
Rob: *Jumping up from behind her* BWAH!!!!!!!!
Lita: *Screams* Oh my god! Rob! Your okay! I was scared to death! *Hugs him*
Rob: You were really worried about me?
Lita: Well, yeah. I care about you a lot Rob. You are such a…a…a cool guy. And you are really cool guy to hang out with. And I- *stops talking as their lips get closer and closer together*
Matt: Oh my god! They are going to kiss! *Gets up from the lounge chair that he and Jeff were hiding behind* That's it! I can't take it anymore! NOOOOOOOOO! *In slow motion, he jumps into the pool just before RVD and Lita kiss*
Lita: Matt?! What in the hell are you doing here?
Matt: Lita! I can't stand this anymore! I have liked you ever since we met. You are the prettiest, toughest, nicest girl I have ever met in my life. And I think I am in love with you. I would get down on my knee if we weren't in a pool and I'd give you a ring if I had one, but…will you marry me?
Lita: *Shocked* Holy crap! Yes! Yes! I will marry you! *They kiss*
RVD: Aw…how cool. I mean sweet!
Lita: Oh Rob! I am so sorry! Hey, you can be the best man at our wedding!
Matt: But Jeff is going to be my best man
Lita: Ok, than Rob, you can be my brides maid!
RVD: Cool!
Jeff: Are we done spying Matt? Rocket Power is on as we speak! And I am missing it!
*Cut to Nikechik and JR talking to a doctor*
Nikechik: So how long will they be like this doc?
Doctor: Well, I don't exactly know what's wrong with them. For all we know, they might have to live their whole life all over again
Taker: *Fighting with Austin* Give me it you bully! It's my HE-MAN action figure!
Austin: Finder's keeper's! Losers weepers!
Taker: Mommy!
JR: Good God almighty! There is going to be hell to pay for the government mule that did this!
What will happen to Austin and Taker? Will they be five year old's forever? Find out on the next chapter of…Blind Dates: WWF Style! It was kind of long, but I hope you liked it. Review this piece of crap and tell me!