Author: Joyous Spring
Summary: The planet is in dire need of its worst enemy, water, and sends two Infiltrators, Lemei and the seemingly incompetent Xavier, to Earth, the only planet that seems to have more than enough of the precious resource.
Genre: Humor/Adventure
Rating: PG-13 [mature humor, language, reference]
Date Started: 24.7.2K1
Date Completed:
Disclaimer: All characters were created by and © to Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon Studios, and Viacom International, Inc. Lemei, Xavier, and any other related characters are © to myself. The following has been written simply in an act of fandom for others to enjoy. I do warn though, plot-stealing is unacceptable (note the dates I marked)-- I have several sources who will testify for me. Do I sound scary to you? Didn't think so…
24:01:56
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768102
Rank: Infiltrator
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I'm getting worried. I've been hearing talk of a collapse in the supply of one of our most dire
Resources-- water. Though nearly all of the Irken species is deathly allergic to this unusual
Substance, it has proved to be a wonder in the advancement of machinery and technology,
If used in the correct manner. I don't really know that much about engineering and shit like
That; I'm more of a science person, as you already know. Anyway, it's getting late, and I'd
Better finish what I can of my research tonight. If I succeed, I will be able to locate a planet
With water so they'll shut up. Sometimes I just wish we had more competent leaders, or at
Least a different way of running things.
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
24:03:59
35:03:23
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768103
Rank: Infiltrator
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Success! I've located a planet in sector 009, uncharted territory for the planet. No wonder,
It's mostly a barren universe, save for the one planet that will prove to be most useful to us:
Earth. I'm anxious to report to the Tallest, but I think keeping them on their toes might
Make it a little more worthwhile.
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
35:05:56
48:21:43
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768104
Rank: Infiltrator
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I think I've waited long enough. It's been a few days now since discovering this
Earth planet. I've been researching the beings that inhabit the planet. They call
Themselves "humans", although the correct term is "Homo-sapiens". They are a
Very cultured race, unlike most others I've seen in my days. They reproduce gen-
Etically through a process called "oral sex". I think I was born that way, though
my height makes me unsure. Cloning has long since replaced genetic reproduc-
Tion on this planet, making most of us fairly short. I'll have more information
Soon, I hope. This is very intriguing…
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
48:23:59
50:01:36
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768105
Rank: Infiltrator
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I managed to stumble upon some more information on the "humans". They wear
Clothing, although it's not like ours in the least. They also have follicles of hair
On several parts of their bodies, most noticeably on their heads and genitals.
They speak and write in many languages, though I believe the most universal of
Them is one called "English". I'm looking into studying it tomorrow. I ordered
A few books, which should come in tomorrow. I think that's enough research for
Now. I'm tired, and that's a difficult feat to achieve. I'll write more on my findings
Tomorrow, and hopefully gather enough information to present to the Tallest.
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
50:03:40
06:56:32
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768106
Rank: Infiltrator
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The anatomy of the human body is impressive. The skeletal system consists of 206
(for some, 207) bones. They have many major organs, including the heart, which
pumps blood throughout the body, the lungs, which enable them to breath a sub-
stance called "oxygen", the stomach, which is where food is digested, and the brain,
the central part of the nervous system. I also am starting to learn English. It's fairly
easy compared to some of the others I've taken on, but it could take a few days to
learn to speak it fluently. Until then, I will have to delay my presentation.
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
06:58:57
50:05:76
Log Status: Login
Entry #: 0768107
Rank: Infiltrator
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I'm learning English fast. It gets easier all the time. I can write some of it, and
I speak fluently now. I think I'm ready to present my findings to the Tallest. That
Means I probably won't be able to login for a few days, but I don't mind.
Lemei
Log Status: Logout
50:07:40