Aragorn and Legolas Get It On.
(the sequel to Sam and Frodo Get It On. BWAHAHAHA)
Once upon a cheesecake, there was a sugar fairy. She graced upon her victims with a sugary, icing-coated wand. Whenever this wand touched someone, they became insane, on a massive sugar-high, and unmistakeable queer.
The fairy was a lesbian.
Legolas was conditioning his hair one balmy evening, when he felt, suddenly, extremely queer.
"I feel extremely queer," he said.
"ME TOO!" Aragorn jumped from the bushes near where Legolas' hair products were.
"Oh, Aragorn, were you watching me bathe?"
"But of course, for the sugar fairy has touched upon me with her fantastical wand, and now I feel extremely queer."
"You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!"
"But what does that mean?"
"That boy needs therapy."
"We're not boys! We're extremely queer!!"
"Queer as rusty nails!"
At this, Aragorn stopped babbling in French, and sat down. On top of Legolas' Pantene Pro V hair conditioner special blonde-y streaking crap.
"ALAS! MY LOVE HAS DIED!" Legolas cried, his voice high and wailing.
"Oh, Legolas! Do not feel this way!"
"But I'm so extremely queer!"
"I am too, Legolas. I am too."
"Let's be extremely queer together!"
"…Yes! Let's!"
"Where is my hairbrush?"
"I think I saw your hairbrush back theeeere!"
"Hooray!"
Legolas and Aragorn held hands, and skipped off into the rainbow-y sunset. They were both extremely queer.
THE END… or… oh, stuff it.
(We mean no offence to gay/extremely queer people. We love gay/extremely queer people. We are gay/extremely queer people!! .. Or not.)