Wet & Slippery

It was a slightly rainy day, on the third day of Sam and Frodo walking to Mordor together.  Mordor was wet, and so were Sam and Frodo.  They were all wet.  The orcs were wet.

"This is all so wet!" Frodo cried in exasperation. "I wish this confounded rain would leave us altogether!"

"But look! The orcs are melting in the rain. They're  all melting…because the orcs are WET!" Sam was delirious.

"Why aren't WE melting, Sammie?" Frodo asked, giggling hysterically.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Sam screamed out as he slipped and fell down a slippery hill. The hill was wet. And slippery.

Frodo decided to slip down the hill as well. It looked like such fun. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" He screamed as he slipped down the hill in the same fashion of Sam.

He landed on top of Sam with a thump.  They were both wet and slippery.

Frodo tried to get up, and put his hand on what he thought would be ground. Sam said, "OW!"

Frodo had 'accidentally' put his hand in Sam's most…private…region.

"Oh, do it again!" Sam cried.

"Yes, lets! Oh Sam, I feel so extremely queer!" Frodo said.

"Eeeheeheeheeeee!" Sam giggled. "Being queer is fun!"

"Yes, so long as you don't go anywhere near my most private crevasse, or put it on a billboard, or something…"

"Oh but I love your crevice, Frodo! It is so…queer! So extremely queer!"

"Use the queer, Luke!!"

"But my lightsabre is…otherwise engaged!" And indeed, it was.

"Oooh, I love it when you talk dirty."

"Mud," said Frodo.

"ROWR."

With that, Frodo ravaged Sam.

"Frodo! We can't do this here! Not here! Not now! What about the Ring??"

"Screw the Ring!"

"Ooh, kinky! I didn't know you liked that sort of thing, Master Frodo!"

"Oh yes! I'll be your Master!"

"Yay!"

The next morning, they both awoke to sounds of birds chirping, and the feeling of warm sunlight on their faces. During last night's … festivities, Frodo had accidentally thrown the Ring into the Cracks of Doom.

Sammie and Frodo lived happily ever after, being extremely queer together.  They were joined by Aragorn and Legolas. They were all extremely queer.

The End!