Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Cowboy Bebop, Escaflowne, or Vagrant Story
Chapter 2
Sydney, now with a plan reentered the building and so does his unseen companion Phillip. "Tommy you're going to get it now, unless people laugh like that when they're thinking about buying you a Whitman's sampler." the fly thought. "I can't wait to see this."
"Tommy my friend," Sydney said urbanely, "despite your complimentary appraisal of me, I was able to read the sign you referred to. It said: No shoes, No shirt, No service."
Tommy looked at Sydney with a self-satisfied smirk. "I told you so," he said smugly, "it looks to me that you still haven't got a shirt."
Sydney smiled right back because he knew he had the situation under control. Tommy's arrogance gave him the keys to victory. "Don't pat yourself on the back yet Tommy boy." Sydney thought. "Well Tommy any intelligent person could see that the sign had an implied 'and'. And you are an intelligent man, are you not?"
"Well sure I am!" Tommy said confidently and without hesitation.
"I rather thought you were. Well since we are on the same wavelength you can see that I am indeed wearing shoes, therefore the sign does not apply to me." He said and at the end kicked out one of his leather boot clad legs.
"Well... I guess, well I guess so." Tommy stammered. He was dazed by the charismatic explanation and could do nothing but agree. And the man did recognize his intellect so he couldn't be all that bad.
"Well let's start over shall we, Tommy?
"Okay what are you here for?"
"Well my name is Sydney Losstarot and I have a 12:30 appointment with Dr. Smith."
The clock on the wall currently read 12:16. Phillip from his spot on the wall thought that the situation was a lot tamer than what he imagined but still quite effective. "Good job Mr. Losstarot skillfully played." Phillip said. "Tommy the stupid bastard probably doesn't even know he got played."
Sydney knew that he did not get down as tough as he wanted to on the pudgy receptionist. But as soon as he walked back in he also picked up a sense of sadness radiating from the man. And try as he might to deny it Sydney isn't completely heartless.
"Is this your first time here Mr. Losstarot." Tommy asked with trained indifference.
"Yes it is."
For a brief moment, Sydney saw true malevolence in Tommy's eyes. "I need you to fill out this form here sir." He handed Sydney a clipboard that had a form with five pages front and back that was typed in small print. Not all the evilness was gone out of Tommy.
"Goldilocks probably doesn't have insurance," Tommy thought.
Sydney looked at him suspiciously. "Thank you...Tommy." He says speaking to him as an owner would their dog when they made wee-wee on the newspaper instead of the carpet. Sydney decided at that moment that he was going to make Tommy hate his own name by the time he was finished with him.
Sydney sat down in one of the six chairs and began to fill out the form.
"Okay, let's see here. Name: that's easy. Sex; yes please. Be serious now. Male Age: 33 Father: Aldous Byron Bardorba."
Sydney continued without any trouble until he got to the insurance questions.
"What insurance do I have?" He vaguely remembered having a conversation about that with Müllenkamp--his cult's namesake--on the astral level.
****************Flashback*****************
"Sydney dear, I need to speak with you," called a sweet and sultry voice.
"If your face holds the same beauty as your voice you can do more than speak with me."
The woman with the beautiful voice revealed herself. She was of a dusky complexion with dark auburn hair that gleamed like garnet. She looked at Sydney with dark hazel eyes. She was indeed very beautiful.
"GAAHH!" Sydney screamed. "Grandma!" He was so embarrassed. He just tried to put the moves on his great greeaaaaaaat-grandmother on his father's side.
Fortunately for Sydney, Müllenkamp was a laid back woman with a great sense of humor.
"So do I measure up Sydney?" Müllenkamp joked.
"My lady you are always a lovely sight to behold, what is it you need to speak about?"
"Well sweetie, in the last few battles you've had you've been injured pretty badly and there are not many doctors following our cause. Fortunately you have not had to go to the hospital for your injuries."
Sydney sighed internally. As much as he loves Müllenkamp, at times she can be long-winded. During this time he saw her lips moving but couldn't quite make out the words.
"What I'm getting at is you need to get some insurance."
"Need? I will never be afflicted with the ailments that a normal man would. I am immortal you know. I think you worry about me too much."
Müllenkamp clucked her tongue. "Sydney it is true that you are immortal but invulnerable no. Plus honey you don't understand, it's not how it used to be back in my day. Then if you had the money or you were in serious need it was no problem getting care. Now, if you don't have this insurance people ask you all sorts of questions and you have to go through too many problems. So just on the off chance you do need some medical attention get it and it will save significant time. You need insurance for damn near everything. You never know what might happen."
"Well... I suppose you are correct." Sydney said doubtfully. "But anyway you mean to tell me that money and need do not take precedence."
"Let me tell you," Müllenkamp started excitedly, "This man got stabbed in the stomach and he was just bleeding all over the place. Some good Samaritans brought him to the emergency room. The attendants there asked if he had any insurance, which he didn't and they threw him out. On his stomach mind you! And he died an hour later."
Sydney shivered. "That's mighty harsh."
"Well these are the days you're living in my dear. I did some research and here are some of the companies."
They chose an insurance company in about an hour. They then played chess for another two. As usual Müllenkamp kicked his butt. She was no joke when it came to chess.
****************End Flashback*****************
"Oh yes I remember the name of my insurance is Omnicare." Sydney thought. "Müllenkamp told me to always have access to the card." Sydney then pictured the card in his mind and made it materialize in his left hand. He then turned his attention back to the form. He was currently on the third page and question 40. "Time to finish this. ID#: all right Group#: here it is. Oh look at this! I have a prescription plan." Sydney felt a little ridiculous about being excited about that but he felt he should be getting his money's worth. He came to a peculiar part on the form on question 50. The question read: If you answered yes to this question please skip to number 100.
"Thank you Müllenkamp for persuading me to get insurance."
"You're welcome, sweetie," A familiar female voice said in his mind.
As Sydney was flipping to page 7, he noticed question 75 that read:
Have you had or have any of the following sexually transmitted diseases? (Fill in all that apply)
() Chlamydia
() Genital Herpes
() Genital Warts
() Gonorrhea
() Syphilis
And the list went on and on. "Oh my. Let's go to question 100."
While Sydney continued to fill out the form a humongous shadow passed over the area.
"I didn't know there was going to be an eclipse today." Tommy remarked. He would have gotten up to look but he was to busy playing FreeCell on the computer.
Phillip took notice to the change in environment also. He flew to the window and looked out. High in the sky he saw what appeared to be a huge fortress.
"Oh man it's Castlevania!" he squeaked.