"Spike, wake up." She rolled him over on to his back. He didn't appear to
be bleeding anymore; just oozing from some of the deeper wounds. She
started looking for something to clean him up with. It was going to be
impossible to assess the damage without being able to see what was burned
and what was cut. It didn't take too long to find a shallow bowl she could
put water in. A clean piece of cloth wasn't quite so easy, but she finally
managed to find a blouse she thought Harmony might have left behind.
Getting water was simple, she knew there was always some in the
refrigerator in case Dawn stopped by. She grabbed the first aid kit, but
was pretty sure it wasn't going to have enough of anything in it for all
the damage Spike had taken.
"This is going to be cold." She didn't know if he could hear her, but she didn't want to do anything without warning him. From experience she knew that startling a wounded vampire just wasn't a good idea. She started trying to clean him up. Even the cold water didn't get a reaction from him. He didn't even wince; he was completely unresponsive.
Some time later, she had finished. He hadn't flinched while she cleaned him, even when she rolled him on to his stomach to get his other side. She examined him. His back was covered in blisters. It looked mostly like burn damage. Judging from the bruising, his sides appeared to have been kicked repeatedly; probably there were broken ribs. His abdomen was bruised--big round bruises like fist marks. He had numerous cuts (smallish knife sized) on his arms and chest. His face and chest had several small round burns, but nothing serious. His hands and knees had abrasions and both of his pinkies were pointing in odd directions.
"This is going to hurt," she warned him. She grabbed his hand and wrenched his finger into some semblance of alignment. Then she repeated the procedure with his other hand. Not even a moan in response. She taped his last two fingers together as a temporary splint.
"So much for cleanup, now let's get you awake and see what happened." She slapped him--gently at first, then with increasing force. "Spike, wake up." She decided that smacking him harder wasn't going to wake him, it was only going to cause more damage. Okay, new plan, get Spike dressed and haul him home. She found a blue sweater and a pair of jeans. "Didn't think you owned anything but black." After much difficulty, she got his clothes on him. A fireman's carry was the best way to get him up the ladder, but she wasn't sure what to do then. "Up the ladder, then we'll see what happens." She carried him up to the top level, grateful for her Slayer strength.
"Great, all that time I spent cleaning him up and it's still light out. Now what?" She set him down in a chair while she thought things through. Just then, she heard something open the door to Spike's crypt. She hid behind his chair. Maybe she could ambush whoever left him in this condition. The light shone directly behind whoever was coming in, obscuring them from view. Buffy launched herself at the intruder.
"AAAAHHHH!" Buffy wrenched her body sideways as she recognized the voice. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dawn screamed. "Are you insane?"
Buffy landed and did a perfect shoulder roll--finishing back on her feet. "What happened to going directly to the Magic Box after school?"
"I was worried about Spike. What did you DO to him?" Dawn asked as she got a better look at the damaged vampire. She moved in between Buffy and Spike, trying to protect him.
"Nothing. I found him like this. Really." Dawn gave Buffy a dubious look. "He hasn't opened his eyes since I found him. I cleaned him up and got him dressed. You should've seen him before I got to him. Or...maybe you shouldn't have."
Dawn moved closer to examine him. "Blood. He needs blood." She scurried down the ladder and Buffy could hear her rummaging through the refrigerator. She came back up, hands empty. "Last time he was this bad was when Doc pushed him off the tower on the day you..." Dawn looked away, reluctant to continue.
"Died. Why am I the only one who can say it?" Buffy turned her palms up in a half-shrug, and looked upwards. She sighed, exasperated. "How much blood does he need?"
"Depends on the blood. I don't know how much pig's blood--gallons, probably." She looked anywhere but at Buffy. "Human blood is better. The more powerful the person, the faster he'll heal."
Buffy stared at her. "Dawn, do you know this from personal experience?"
Dawn gathered her courage and looked Buffy straight in the eyes. "Yes. I cut my hand and bled into a glass. I told him it was human, from Willy's. He took one sip and knew it was mine. I couldn't lose him, too, not after..."
Buffy surprised her sister. "That was a very unselfish thing to do. And I don't want you to EVER do it again." She gathered Dawn in a hug, then backed up to look at her. "Now, go directly to the Magic Box. Wait for Xander to get off work, it shouldn't be long. We're taking Spike home--it's not safe for him here. Have Xander drive up as close as he can--I don't want to carry Spike very far. YOU come to the door, I don't want him to see what I'll be doing."
"Why? What will you be doing?" Dawn moved back between her sister and Spike, trying to figure out why her Buffy wanted her out of the way.
"Healing Spike." Dawn's eyes widened in comprehension, then she turned and bolted out of the crypt.
Buffy closed the door and blockaded it. She didn't want to be interrupted while she was helpless; and whatever had almost killed Spike was still out there. She wasn't sure how much blood he needed; and wasn't sure she could stop him if he tried to overpower her. Even Angel hadn't been able to control himself and almost killed her by drinking too much. Shivering with dread, she went downstairs to find a knife.
She seated herself next to him on the chair. It was a tight fit, but this was good because he was still limp. She took the knife and cut her hand. She pressed it against Spike's mouth to allow him to drink. No response. "Spike, I have nice tasty Slayer blood for you." Blood flowed down her hand, but she got no movement at all from him. "Let's try something else." She held her hand down, so blood dripped off her fingers. Then she raised her hand and pried his lips apart. She rubbed her bloody fingers on his teeth. "This is gross. I can't believe I'm doing this." She thought she saw a small swallowing motion. She tipped his head back and tried to get some blood to drip down his throat. Definite swallowing action.
He latched on to her hand with his mouth. She squealed in surprise. Then he let go and slumped sideways again. She looked at her palm. It had already healed over. Buffy was afraid, but knew there was only one solution. She had to get him to shift to vampire face, then feed. "I can't believe I'm doing this again." She punched him in the face. It had worked before, with Angel. The second time she hit him-he shifted. She made a small slice at the bend in her elbow with the knife and awkwardly aimed his head towards it. There was intense pain as he bit down, then it felt surprisingly good. Her last coherent thought was 'I see what Riley meant'.
She was drifting. She felt fuzzy-headed, but knew she was protected by someone or something. Maybe she was back in Heaven. "Mom?" Now it was raining. Warm, salty rain.
"Buffy? Please be all right." No--that was her sister.
Buffy blearily opened her eyes. "Dawn? Did it work?"
"See for yourself, you stupid..." Spike rasped.
"Stupid?! I saved your life." She bristled.
"Yeah, and I almost killed you. Are you suicidal? What the hell were you thinking, girl?" He grabbed her face and looked into her eyes. Then he kissed her, profoundly and brutally.
"Uh, guys, Xander's gonna be here any minute." Dawn interrupted. "I'm pretty sure you don't want him to see this and I know I don't want to see this, either."
They broke apart. Buffy scrambled to stand up and couldn't. Spike stood and reached down to help her up. She shook her head. "How long was I out? I need to rest. I can't..." He leaned down and picked her up, cradling her body against his chest. "Spike, you'll hurt yourself worse. Put me down."
"The more powerful the blood, the faster the healing. I've never felt better." He looked down at her and she noticed the burns on his face had almost healed. "That was an impressive gift, sweetheart. We will discuss this later."
"We tried to wake you for around an hour. Buffy, what are you going to say happened? I mean, that's definitely a vampire bite. Spike's a vampire. Xander's gonna put two and two together and come up with unchipped Spike. Unchipped, dusty Spike."
"I found Spike injured. I was trying to get him home, I got bitten by a vampire. Spike woke up in time to save me. Isn't that pretty much what happened?" She put an arm around his neck and cuddled in closer. "Don't get any ideas either, I'm just hiding the bite mark so nobody jumps to conclusions." Dawn led the way into the darkness. "Dawn, how did you beat Xander here? I'm pretty sure he can move faster than you."
Dawn replied over her shoulder, "I come here all the time; I know the back way in to Spike's crypt and I know where the pay phone is. I wasn't going to leave you alone to do something stupid." Buffy could feel Spike's laughter rumbling against her.
Xander's car was parked on the cemetery road not too far from Spike's crypt. Xander was heading towards them when he noticed Spike carrying Buffy. He broke into a run. "What happened? Is she okay?"
Buffy looked up from Spike's shoulder. "S'Okay. I'm just tired and hungry. I'll tell you about it later. Can you just drive us home?"
"I'm buying you and Dawn something to eat first. You're as white as a sheet." He grabbed her hand. "And as cold as...undead boy here." He hurried to open the car door. As Spike was transferring Buffy into the back seat, Xander got a good look at her arm. "Spike, what the hell did you do to her?" He reached under the seat, obviously looking for a weapon.
Dawn reached out and grabbed his arm. "She found Spike unconscious and tried to help him. She got bitten by a vampire. Spike woke up in time to save her." Buffy thought about it and decided her sister was entirely too good at lying. But she had to admit, she was the one who had established that particular fiction in the first place.
Dawn settled herself in the front seat. She kept looking anxiously back at Buffy. "Are you sure you'll be all right? Shouldn't we stop at the hospital just in case?"
Buffy opened her eyes and glanced up at her sister. "I'm still wanted for questioning in Amy's death. Willow and Tara are coming over tomorrow to do a spell. I can't go to a hospital, and I can't talk to the police right now. I'm hungry, I'm tired and I don't have time." She sighed and leaned back against Spike, who wrapped both arms around her protectively.
Xander kept looking in the rearview mirror. It was strange to see Buffy cradled against nothing. "Buffy, don't you think you're carrying the gratitude thing a little far? I mean you don't want to give Spike ideas, do you?" Spike snorted and Dawn squirmed uncomfortably.
Buffy opened her eyes and looked at his face in the mirror. "I don't think that will be a problem," she said dryly. "Now is not where or how I wanted to break it to you; but I guess since the subject has been brought up...."
Xander interrupted. "Don't tell me you've been seeing Spike?"
"I've been doing a lot more than seeing him." Stunned at her admission, Spike turned to look at Buffy. Dawn gasped and looked over the seat at them.
Xander took a few deep breaths. "Is it because you're still mad at us for bringing you back to life? Because that's a hell of a way to pay us back-- by wasting your life on another vampire." Spike started to open his mouth. Buffy turned to him, shook her head slowly and brought her index finger up to her lips. He subsided and began running his fingertips gently up and down her arms. "What, you didn't learn your lesson the first time with Angel? Vampires kill people. Do you have some sort of death wish?"
"No, not anymore--thanks to Spike. He helped me through everything. I feel when I'm in his arms. The first month I was back, I didn't feel anything unless I was reminded that I was supposed to. Even when I went to meet Angel that night; I realized that I still didn't care whether I lived or died. Kissing Spike was the first time I've felt anything since you ripped me out of Heaven. He treats me well, he's good to Dawn. He's my match in strength, wits, and fighting ability. Not that it's any of your business, but he's also damn good in bed."
Dawn's eyes widened. "Uh, Buffy, I really didn't need to hear that. I'm sure Xander didn't want to, either."
Xander glanced at the road, then returned his gaze to Buffy's reflection in the mirror. "I find it hard to believe that someone who spent most of his time trying to kill people a couple of years ago..."
"Oh, like an ex-demon you're about to marry?" Buffy retorted.
Xander broke and looked away first. "So, am I the last to know? Is that why Giles left? Is he in disgrace as a Watcher, now? Have you told Willow? Dawn obviously knew."
"I told Dawn last night. Other than that, you're the first to know. I didn't know how anyone would deal. I guess I've lost so much recently that I want to grab all the living that I can, in spite of what anyone else says." With this statement, they arrived at a diner. Spike helped Buffy out of the car and half-carried her as she tried to walk. They all made their way in and sat at a booth.
"Xander, I almost forgot. I got a book from the hardware store on wiring. It's old, but maybe you could get some ideas on neutralizing or hurting Rack. All her research shows that the only one who can kill Rack is Willow. Not because she's a witch, but because he has had contact with her mind. She'll be over at my house...uh, Giles' condo tomorrow night around ten. Tara will be helping. Come over with ideas, both you and Anya." She reached into her slaying bag and handed him the book she had finally located. "Now let's eat."
Eating didn't take long. Buffy was starving and Dawn was a growing girl. They piled into the car and Xander took them home. "Xander, I know you don't approve, but who would know better than you that even demons can change? Please at least give Spike and I a chance."
"I'll think about it. That's all I can say. I don't like it, I probably never will. But I'll never again mention that I don't approve of you two. I will be the first one to say 'I told you so' when it doesn't work out. You're an adult, you have to live with your mistakes. If you ever need to talk, or someone else to stake him because you can't; let me know." They got to the condo and Buffy got out of the car under her own power. Xander drove off.
Buffy got the two spare keys out of her pocket. She gave one to Dawn and one to Spike. "Dawn, will you do the honors?" Dawn unlocked the door and opened it. They went inside.
She sat down on the couch. Dawn fussed over her to make her comfortable while Spike took a shower. Dawn finally sat down next to her sister. "You know, I didn't think you were ever going to tell anyone except me. Were you still delirious with blood loss or something?"
Buffy looked at her sister and smiled. "No, I think I was just looking to shake him up a bit. I like Anya, you always know where you stand with her-- but I'm tired of Xander's 'my pet demon is better than yours attitude'. Besides, a very wise person once told me that keeping secrets has a way of coming back to bite you when you least expect it. I decided to live by his advice. No more Buffy secrets."
"Okay, it wasn't mom because you said 'his'. Must've been Giles."
"Actually, no. Believe it or not, it was Spike. Hey, in all the excitement I forgot to ask--do you have any homework tonight?"
"While we were waiting to see if you'd recover, Spike told me to go ahead and do it. He said there was no sense in both of us just watching you breathe and he wasn't going anywhere. Buffy, did you know that when he realized that he'd almost killed you..."
Spike walked into the room, clad only in a pair of jeans and toweling his hair dry. "Nibblet, she doesn't want to hear about it. Why don't you stop your yammering and see if you can find anything good on the telly. Your sis can probably use some mindless entertainment right about now." Buffy patted the seat beside her. Spike sat next to her and put his arm around her. She turned and leaned her back against him and he wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled in closer and promptly fell asleep.
Dawn looked over at Spike. She asked him quietly "is she going to be okay? She's sleeping an awful lot. I noticed her asleep in the car on the way here."
"She'll be fine in a couple of days," he reassured her. "Blood loss takes a lot out of you. We just need to make sure she eats and drinks a bit more than she usually does. Now, let's see what's on the tube. Nothing like a spot of violence before bedtime." They sat in silence for a couple hours, both surreptitiously checking on Buffy at random intervals. Dawn carefully stifled a yawn, but Spike noticed. "I expect it's your bedtime, Bit. School night and all that. I promise you she'll be here in the morning. I won't let anything take her from us. It'll have to go through me first."
With that promise, Dawn nodded and went up the stairs. She stopped halfway and turned back to ask a question that had been bothering her all night. "Spike, how did you bite Buffy? I mean, is the chip not working?"
"I don't know. It's only Buffy and only since she came back. And that's got me worried." Dawn's eyes widened and then she continued up the stairs. Spike slid himself out from under Buffy so he could turn off the television. She woke up enough to sit up. "Sweets, why don't you get some sleep. I could carry you upstairs if you'd like."
"I don't want to be alone." He moved back over to the couch.
"How do you propose we both fit on the sofa? It's a bit crowded and I don't fancy sleeping sitting up."
"We could spoon. I would sleep better with your arms around me."
"Anything to oblige a lady." He complied. She drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards. "Tomorrow," he whispered, "you and I are going to have a talk." He stayed awake, listening to the comforting sound of her heartbeat and worrying about why she was the only human his chip would let him hurt.
"This is going to be cold." She didn't know if he could hear her, but she didn't want to do anything without warning him. From experience she knew that startling a wounded vampire just wasn't a good idea. She started trying to clean him up. Even the cold water didn't get a reaction from him. He didn't even wince; he was completely unresponsive.
Some time later, she had finished. He hadn't flinched while she cleaned him, even when she rolled him on to his stomach to get his other side. She examined him. His back was covered in blisters. It looked mostly like burn damage. Judging from the bruising, his sides appeared to have been kicked repeatedly; probably there were broken ribs. His abdomen was bruised--big round bruises like fist marks. He had numerous cuts (smallish knife sized) on his arms and chest. His face and chest had several small round burns, but nothing serious. His hands and knees had abrasions and both of his pinkies were pointing in odd directions.
"This is going to hurt," she warned him. She grabbed his hand and wrenched his finger into some semblance of alignment. Then she repeated the procedure with his other hand. Not even a moan in response. She taped his last two fingers together as a temporary splint.
"So much for cleanup, now let's get you awake and see what happened." She slapped him--gently at first, then with increasing force. "Spike, wake up." She decided that smacking him harder wasn't going to wake him, it was only going to cause more damage. Okay, new plan, get Spike dressed and haul him home. She found a blue sweater and a pair of jeans. "Didn't think you owned anything but black." After much difficulty, she got his clothes on him. A fireman's carry was the best way to get him up the ladder, but she wasn't sure what to do then. "Up the ladder, then we'll see what happens." She carried him up to the top level, grateful for her Slayer strength.
"Great, all that time I spent cleaning him up and it's still light out. Now what?" She set him down in a chair while she thought things through. Just then, she heard something open the door to Spike's crypt. She hid behind his chair. Maybe she could ambush whoever left him in this condition. The light shone directly behind whoever was coming in, obscuring them from view. Buffy launched herself at the intruder.
"AAAAHHHH!" Buffy wrenched her body sideways as she recognized the voice. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dawn screamed. "Are you insane?"
Buffy landed and did a perfect shoulder roll--finishing back on her feet. "What happened to going directly to the Magic Box after school?"
"I was worried about Spike. What did you DO to him?" Dawn asked as she got a better look at the damaged vampire. She moved in between Buffy and Spike, trying to protect him.
"Nothing. I found him like this. Really." Dawn gave Buffy a dubious look. "He hasn't opened his eyes since I found him. I cleaned him up and got him dressed. You should've seen him before I got to him. Or...maybe you shouldn't have."
Dawn moved closer to examine him. "Blood. He needs blood." She scurried down the ladder and Buffy could hear her rummaging through the refrigerator. She came back up, hands empty. "Last time he was this bad was when Doc pushed him off the tower on the day you..." Dawn looked away, reluctant to continue.
"Died. Why am I the only one who can say it?" Buffy turned her palms up in a half-shrug, and looked upwards. She sighed, exasperated. "How much blood does he need?"
"Depends on the blood. I don't know how much pig's blood--gallons, probably." She looked anywhere but at Buffy. "Human blood is better. The more powerful the person, the faster he'll heal."
Buffy stared at her. "Dawn, do you know this from personal experience?"
Dawn gathered her courage and looked Buffy straight in the eyes. "Yes. I cut my hand and bled into a glass. I told him it was human, from Willy's. He took one sip and knew it was mine. I couldn't lose him, too, not after..."
Buffy surprised her sister. "That was a very unselfish thing to do. And I don't want you to EVER do it again." She gathered Dawn in a hug, then backed up to look at her. "Now, go directly to the Magic Box. Wait for Xander to get off work, it shouldn't be long. We're taking Spike home--it's not safe for him here. Have Xander drive up as close as he can--I don't want to carry Spike very far. YOU come to the door, I don't want him to see what I'll be doing."
"Why? What will you be doing?" Dawn moved back between her sister and Spike, trying to figure out why her Buffy wanted her out of the way.
"Healing Spike." Dawn's eyes widened in comprehension, then she turned and bolted out of the crypt.
Buffy closed the door and blockaded it. She didn't want to be interrupted while she was helpless; and whatever had almost killed Spike was still out there. She wasn't sure how much blood he needed; and wasn't sure she could stop him if he tried to overpower her. Even Angel hadn't been able to control himself and almost killed her by drinking too much. Shivering with dread, she went downstairs to find a knife.
She seated herself next to him on the chair. It was a tight fit, but this was good because he was still limp. She took the knife and cut her hand. She pressed it against Spike's mouth to allow him to drink. No response. "Spike, I have nice tasty Slayer blood for you." Blood flowed down her hand, but she got no movement at all from him. "Let's try something else." She held her hand down, so blood dripped off her fingers. Then she raised her hand and pried his lips apart. She rubbed her bloody fingers on his teeth. "This is gross. I can't believe I'm doing this." She thought she saw a small swallowing motion. She tipped his head back and tried to get some blood to drip down his throat. Definite swallowing action.
He latched on to her hand with his mouth. She squealed in surprise. Then he let go and slumped sideways again. She looked at her palm. It had already healed over. Buffy was afraid, but knew there was only one solution. She had to get him to shift to vampire face, then feed. "I can't believe I'm doing this again." She punched him in the face. It had worked before, with Angel. The second time she hit him-he shifted. She made a small slice at the bend in her elbow with the knife and awkwardly aimed his head towards it. There was intense pain as he bit down, then it felt surprisingly good. Her last coherent thought was 'I see what Riley meant'.
She was drifting. She felt fuzzy-headed, but knew she was protected by someone or something. Maybe she was back in Heaven. "Mom?" Now it was raining. Warm, salty rain.
"Buffy? Please be all right." No--that was her sister.
Buffy blearily opened her eyes. "Dawn? Did it work?"
"See for yourself, you stupid..." Spike rasped.
"Stupid?! I saved your life." She bristled.
"Yeah, and I almost killed you. Are you suicidal? What the hell were you thinking, girl?" He grabbed her face and looked into her eyes. Then he kissed her, profoundly and brutally.
"Uh, guys, Xander's gonna be here any minute." Dawn interrupted. "I'm pretty sure you don't want him to see this and I know I don't want to see this, either."
They broke apart. Buffy scrambled to stand up and couldn't. Spike stood and reached down to help her up. She shook her head. "How long was I out? I need to rest. I can't..." He leaned down and picked her up, cradling her body against his chest. "Spike, you'll hurt yourself worse. Put me down."
"The more powerful the blood, the faster the healing. I've never felt better." He looked down at her and she noticed the burns on his face had almost healed. "That was an impressive gift, sweetheart. We will discuss this later."
"We tried to wake you for around an hour. Buffy, what are you going to say happened? I mean, that's definitely a vampire bite. Spike's a vampire. Xander's gonna put two and two together and come up with unchipped Spike. Unchipped, dusty Spike."
"I found Spike injured. I was trying to get him home, I got bitten by a vampire. Spike woke up in time to save me. Isn't that pretty much what happened?" She put an arm around his neck and cuddled in closer. "Don't get any ideas either, I'm just hiding the bite mark so nobody jumps to conclusions." Dawn led the way into the darkness. "Dawn, how did you beat Xander here? I'm pretty sure he can move faster than you."
Dawn replied over her shoulder, "I come here all the time; I know the back way in to Spike's crypt and I know where the pay phone is. I wasn't going to leave you alone to do something stupid." Buffy could feel Spike's laughter rumbling against her.
Xander's car was parked on the cemetery road not too far from Spike's crypt. Xander was heading towards them when he noticed Spike carrying Buffy. He broke into a run. "What happened? Is she okay?"
Buffy looked up from Spike's shoulder. "S'Okay. I'm just tired and hungry. I'll tell you about it later. Can you just drive us home?"
"I'm buying you and Dawn something to eat first. You're as white as a sheet." He grabbed her hand. "And as cold as...undead boy here." He hurried to open the car door. As Spike was transferring Buffy into the back seat, Xander got a good look at her arm. "Spike, what the hell did you do to her?" He reached under the seat, obviously looking for a weapon.
Dawn reached out and grabbed his arm. "She found Spike unconscious and tried to help him. She got bitten by a vampire. Spike woke up in time to save her." Buffy thought about it and decided her sister was entirely too good at lying. But she had to admit, she was the one who had established that particular fiction in the first place.
Dawn settled herself in the front seat. She kept looking anxiously back at Buffy. "Are you sure you'll be all right? Shouldn't we stop at the hospital just in case?"
Buffy opened her eyes and glanced up at her sister. "I'm still wanted for questioning in Amy's death. Willow and Tara are coming over tomorrow to do a spell. I can't go to a hospital, and I can't talk to the police right now. I'm hungry, I'm tired and I don't have time." She sighed and leaned back against Spike, who wrapped both arms around her protectively.
Xander kept looking in the rearview mirror. It was strange to see Buffy cradled against nothing. "Buffy, don't you think you're carrying the gratitude thing a little far? I mean you don't want to give Spike ideas, do you?" Spike snorted and Dawn squirmed uncomfortably.
Buffy opened her eyes and looked at his face in the mirror. "I don't think that will be a problem," she said dryly. "Now is not where or how I wanted to break it to you; but I guess since the subject has been brought up...."
Xander interrupted. "Don't tell me you've been seeing Spike?"
"I've been doing a lot more than seeing him." Stunned at her admission, Spike turned to look at Buffy. Dawn gasped and looked over the seat at them.
Xander took a few deep breaths. "Is it because you're still mad at us for bringing you back to life? Because that's a hell of a way to pay us back-- by wasting your life on another vampire." Spike started to open his mouth. Buffy turned to him, shook her head slowly and brought her index finger up to her lips. He subsided and began running his fingertips gently up and down her arms. "What, you didn't learn your lesson the first time with Angel? Vampires kill people. Do you have some sort of death wish?"
"No, not anymore--thanks to Spike. He helped me through everything. I feel when I'm in his arms. The first month I was back, I didn't feel anything unless I was reminded that I was supposed to. Even when I went to meet Angel that night; I realized that I still didn't care whether I lived or died. Kissing Spike was the first time I've felt anything since you ripped me out of Heaven. He treats me well, he's good to Dawn. He's my match in strength, wits, and fighting ability. Not that it's any of your business, but he's also damn good in bed."
Dawn's eyes widened. "Uh, Buffy, I really didn't need to hear that. I'm sure Xander didn't want to, either."
Xander glanced at the road, then returned his gaze to Buffy's reflection in the mirror. "I find it hard to believe that someone who spent most of his time trying to kill people a couple of years ago..."
"Oh, like an ex-demon you're about to marry?" Buffy retorted.
Xander broke and looked away first. "So, am I the last to know? Is that why Giles left? Is he in disgrace as a Watcher, now? Have you told Willow? Dawn obviously knew."
"I told Dawn last night. Other than that, you're the first to know. I didn't know how anyone would deal. I guess I've lost so much recently that I want to grab all the living that I can, in spite of what anyone else says." With this statement, they arrived at a diner. Spike helped Buffy out of the car and half-carried her as she tried to walk. They all made their way in and sat at a booth.
"Xander, I almost forgot. I got a book from the hardware store on wiring. It's old, but maybe you could get some ideas on neutralizing or hurting Rack. All her research shows that the only one who can kill Rack is Willow. Not because she's a witch, but because he has had contact with her mind. She'll be over at my house...uh, Giles' condo tomorrow night around ten. Tara will be helping. Come over with ideas, both you and Anya." She reached into her slaying bag and handed him the book she had finally located. "Now let's eat."
Eating didn't take long. Buffy was starving and Dawn was a growing girl. They piled into the car and Xander took them home. "Xander, I know you don't approve, but who would know better than you that even demons can change? Please at least give Spike and I a chance."
"I'll think about it. That's all I can say. I don't like it, I probably never will. But I'll never again mention that I don't approve of you two. I will be the first one to say 'I told you so' when it doesn't work out. You're an adult, you have to live with your mistakes. If you ever need to talk, or someone else to stake him because you can't; let me know." They got to the condo and Buffy got out of the car under her own power. Xander drove off.
Buffy got the two spare keys out of her pocket. She gave one to Dawn and one to Spike. "Dawn, will you do the honors?" Dawn unlocked the door and opened it. They went inside.
She sat down on the couch. Dawn fussed over her to make her comfortable while Spike took a shower. Dawn finally sat down next to her sister. "You know, I didn't think you were ever going to tell anyone except me. Were you still delirious with blood loss or something?"
Buffy looked at her sister and smiled. "No, I think I was just looking to shake him up a bit. I like Anya, you always know where you stand with her-- but I'm tired of Xander's 'my pet demon is better than yours attitude'. Besides, a very wise person once told me that keeping secrets has a way of coming back to bite you when you least expect it. I decided to live by his advice. No more Buffy secrets."
"Okay, it wasn't mom because you said 'his'. Must've been Giles."
"Actually, no. Believe it or not, it was Spike. Hey, in all the excitement I forgot to ask--do you have any homework tonight?"
"While we were waiting to see if you'd recover, Spike told me to go ahead and do it. He said there was no sense in both of us just watching you breathe and he wasn't going anywhere. Buffy, did you know that when he realized that he'd almost killed you..."
Spike walked into the room, clad only in a pair of jeans and toweling his hair dry. "Nibblet, she doesn't want to hear about it. Why don't you stop your yammering and see if you can find anything good on the telly. Your sis can probably use some mindless entertainment right about now." Buffy patted the seat beside her. Spike sat next to her and put his arm around her. She turned and leaned her back against him and he wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled in closer and promptly fell asleep.
Dawn looked over at Spike. She asked him quietly "is she going to be okay? She's sleeping an awful lot. I noticed her asleep in the car on the way here."
"She'll be fine in a couple of days," he reassured her. "Blood loss takes a lot out of you. We just need to make sure she eats and drinks a bit more than she usually does. Now, let's see what's on the tube. Nothing like a spot of violence before bedtime." They sat in silence for a couple hours, both surreptitiously checking on Buffy at random intervals. Dawn carefully stifled a yawn, but Spike noticed. "I expect it's your bedtime, Bit. School night and all that. I promise you she'll be here in the morning. I won't let anything take her from us. It'll have to go through me first."
With that promise, Dawn nodded and went up the stairs. She stopped halfway and turned back to ask a question that had been bothering her all night. "Spike, how did you bite Buffy? I mean, is the chip not working?"
"I don't know. It's only Buffy and only since she came back. And that's got me worried." Dawn's eyes widened and then she continued up the stairs. Spike slid himself out from under Buffy so he could turn off the television. She woke up enough to sit up. "Sweets, why don't you get some sleep. I could carry you upstairs if you'd like."
"I don't want to be alone." He moved back over to the couch.
"How do you propose we both fit on the sofa? It's a bit crowded and I don't fancy sleeping sitting up."
"We could spoon. I would sleep better with your arms around me."
"Anything to oblige a lady." He complied. She drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards. "Tomorrow," he whispered, "you and I are going to have a talk." He stayed awake, listening to the comforting sound of her heartbeat and worrying about why she was the only human his chip would let him hurt.