We made the most graceful exit from the manner that our present states of mind would allow. Every one of us, myself included, had failed to detect Seymour's true purpose until it was too late. Only Auron's quick reflexes and unrelenting, sheltering calm had prevented Seymour from closing the trap on them completely. Seymour had been forced to back off at the last moment, under the guise of allowing Yuna time to think, but for a split second it had been crystal clear that he'd hoped she'd agree instinctively. The moment I realized that, I hated Seymour unconditionally for trying to take advantage of Yunie's noble and trusting nature. But...Seymour wasn't the only one.
While Auron's actions in the manor had been in Yuna's best interest, his motives were not so clear as Seymour's had been. Obviously, his presence in the group was intended to be a constant pressure to keep Yunie on the straight-and-narrow of the journey. He was short and gruff in his dealings with the party thus far, having given none of them a reason to trust him. For all the man tried to put himself forward as the leader, I knew he could never truly inspire loyalty so long as he remained aloof and mysterious. In that regard, Auron embodied the complete opposite of Seymour's slick finesse. Neither was a man I'd willingly ally myself with...and that could be a problem given Yuna's seeming deference to Auron.
Spira suddenly seemed a cold and unfeeling world, one perhaps unworthy of Yuna's sacrifice after all. A world full of people prepared to use Yuna, to send her out to die in exchange for their own safety. It's easy to sacrifice someone you've never met, in order to satisfy your own survival instinct, but try making the same demand of those who knew her, who grew up with her, who traveled with her...who shared her company the final days of her life. I couldn't...wouldn't allow it to happen. It might seem selfish, I reflected grimly, to choose the life of a loved one over the lives of the other nameless, faceless inhabitants of the world...but show me one person who wouldn't make the same decision when faced with this kind of morbid situation. I ought to have stopped it right there...ought to have pulled her aside and convinced her to stop this pilgrimage nonsense...but I couldn't muster the strength to do it, because deep down inside, I honestly didn't know what I thought was right or even justified.
A deep sense of shame spread through me as I found myself wavering between the two sides of the issue. Goodness, I didn't want Yunie to have to marry a creep like Seymour, but what alternative was there? She could continue her pilgrimage...and die...without doubt, and knowing my cousin, without regret. Or she could enter into a marriage for purely political and religious reasons, giving up her personal happiness for the good of her world, and retaining her life.
I'd been too absorbed in my own thoughts to notice that everyone had held a meeting of sorts. Yuna was seriously considering the proposal...which was good, I guess. She'd decided to consult her father on the Farplane before making her decision, though. I can't say I agreed with that approach to decision making, but if it helped Yuna to make her difficult decision, I'd support it. We walked down the cavernous halls of the city to the entrance to the Farplane. With the somber mood of the group, there was little in the way of conversation.
Standing at the ramp to the entrance of the Farplane, the group regained some of its energy. Wakka and the others deflected the questions that Tidus kept throwing at them and the group finally stepped onto the Farplane. Well, almost everyone. I thought I'd escaped detection by hanging toward the back of the group, but Tidus discovered I had no intention of going in...he'd just gotten done interrogating Auron about the guardian's decision to remain behind as well. I could only hope to have as much success fending off the blond blitzball star as well. I saw Auron wave him off, and he came in my direction instead of entering the plane.
I sought to forestall the question I knew he'd ask, by volunteering my thoughts. "You're not really going to see the dead, more like your memories of them. People think of their relatives and the pyreflies react to them. They take on the form of the dead person...an illusion, nothing else."
"Hmm..."
I tried in vain to close the conversation. "Well, have fun!"
He was still having trouble grasping my people's beliefs. "What, you're not going either?"
"I keep my memories inside." I paused, waiting for him to make the connection. "Memories are nice, but that's all they are." I think he sensed that there wasn't much else I wanted to offer about my thoughts on the Farplane and he finally left for the portal.
Sure, I'd gotten rid of Tidus, but now I was alone with Auron. The man still unnerved me. He was utterly unapproachable, surely by design. Still, I had always favored conversation to awkward silence and decided to take a chance at trying to engage him. If nothing else, maybe talking with him could shed some light on why Yuna placed her trust in the man who only appeared to me as a one-eyed bully with a penchant for red.
I approached him slowly. He continued staring into his lap, immersed in his own thoughts. I fervently hoped I wasn't making a grave mistake. "So..."
He didn't look up. I didn't expect him to...my opening wasn't exactly spectacular. I searched quickly for something intelligent or useful to say before my nerves got the better of me and I said something stupid.
I failed. "You know, it's not very honest of you to hide your face like that," I heard myself say, gesturing to the ever-present collar and sunglasses he wore. Way to go, Rikku, I thought...you're definately making progress by starting a conversation with an accusation!
It got his attention. His head snapped up and his eye focused on me. That familiar piercing look he shot me made me regret opening my mouth. After a second, he tilted his head to one side slightly and his expression changed to one of amusement.
"I never expected to receive a lecture on honesty from a thief," he said simply. His words were sharp, though his gaze was no longer threatening.
"I...I'm not a thief," I began. "Well, at least not anymore." I tried to finish the statement with more confidence than I'd begun it.
"That's reassuring."
"But you...you..." I caught myself making the same mistake I'd made the first time I addressed him, and promptly stopped myself.
Auron raised one eyebrow, clearly interested in hearing the end of the statement. "I, what?"
I simply shook my head and tried to save face. I should have realized trying to converse with him about himself was a mistake. "Uh...nevermind..."
"I think you should finish what you were going to say..."
"Forget it. I shouldn't have started to say it." Damn it, why wouldn't he let me drop it? Was he taking some kind of twisted pleasure in my embarassment?
He regarded me thoughtfully. "You're right, you shouldn't speak without thinking. But if you do open your mouth, you need to be prepared to finish what you intend to say and take responsibility for it."
I had the distinct feeling that he was going to pursue this until he found out exactly what I'd intended to say to him. Pity no one could ever force him to do the same...but then again, it could be why he spoke so little in the first place. "I...I was going to say..." I took a deep breath, not daring to break eye contact with him. "I was going to say that it's impossible to tell what you or your motives are. There, I said it, are you happy?"
Auron chuckled - a hollow sound, but one that seemed to lend him a bit more humanity, regardless. Then he shrugged. "I'm a guardian. I never implied otherwise." When I didn't respond, he continued, "but that's not enough for you. You don't trust me. That's why you've been watching me."
How did he know? It galled me to admit that he was right, and that he'd figured me out. His insight had wounded my pride; I'd thought myself more subtle than that. Auron was a worthy opponent, indeed. And why shouldn't he be, I thought...he's more than twice as old as I am. I turned away from him. What could I say in response?
Auron must have taken pity on me, for he saved me by breaking the awkward silence. "Most of the others don't, either. They don't trust me, I mean." He smiled sadly. "But you're the only one who's had the backbone to speak up about it."
He walked over and stood beside me. "I had my doubts about you at first. But now I know Yuna was right to make you a guardian, you've got the potential to be a very good one."
I was in shock. Praise, from Auron? I didn't think the man had it in him to recognize the merits of others. Every other time he'd opened his mouth to say anything, it was either to criticize, correct, or issue an order. I'd grossly underestimated him...maybe he wasn't out to use Yuna after all...
My train of thought was interrupted by the return of the others from the Farplane. The group stepped out of the portal together with Yuna at their head. She appeared far more confident than when she'd departed a short while ago.
"Thanks for waiting. I'll go give my answer to Maester Seymour."