Although Auron didn't often outwardly indulge in emotion, he always seemed to have a way of evoking the very extremes of it in others. Most notably, his quiet encouragement fed Yuna's growing sense of determination. And his effect on me was much more profound. It was such a pity we'd never find out exactly how much potential was there. I needed to stop thinking like that. Auron could be my best friend, comrade in arms, and perhaps my role model, but nothing more. Despite the defeat my acceptance of this fact represented, I did feel a strange sense of peace. Only in defeat had I been able to achieve the progress that eluded me of late...I could finally relate to Auron like a normal person.
Auron released me from his embrace...reluctantly, perhaps...as we heard footsteps outside the tent. A low, displeased grunt escaped him as he lay back down among his blankets. His face assumed its customary mask of dispassion, all traces of warmth leaving his expression. Inwardly, I felt pleased that there was at least something Auron and I could share privately, even if it wasn't love. Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my mind, a faint hope began to crystallize...what about after we defeated Sin? Once Auron's duties were complete, there would be nothing to keep us from each other. Truthfully, it was that possibility that drove me to give in and accept Auron's terms...it would only have to be like this for a little while.
Quickly, I gathered up Auron's collar and glasses and set about putting the finishing touches on his public persona. I finished placing the glasses on his face just as Yuna poked her head into the tent. Fortunately, the collar and my body position hid the sheepish grin that spread quickly across Auron's face, and disappeared in the next instant. I sat back and looked at my cousin's horrified visage.
"Oh! Sir Auron, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she offered apologetically,
Auron's experience allowed him to mask his amusment, although I had less success. "No, you're not interrupting anything. Rikku just came by to give me a potion and to fetch me some breakfast."
Yuna didn't quite look convinced. She glanced briefly at me to convey her confusion. Her expression seemed to say 'isn't this the man you would have done anything to avoid yesterday?'
Auron must have caught on as well. His skill at reading people, especially his summoner and fellow guardians, was unparalleled. Once again he saved me further embarassment. "She was telling me how exhausted you were yesterday after treating me and wanted to see if there was anything she could do."
The summoner seemed to believe him this time and explained the purpose of her visit. "Everyone else is outside around the fire. We're trying to plan what to do next. Are you feeling well enough to join us, Sir Auron?"
The swordsman nodded. "I will require some assistance."
"Tidus and Wakka have agreed to help you," Yuna offered.
"Very well then, I'll join you shortly."
Yuna bowed and made the Yevon prayer symbol in Auron's direction. After she turned her back and left, I could have sworn I saw Auron roll his eye. Not a big fan of Yevon, eh? Well, that's another thing we have in common, Auron.
As soon as the summoner was clear of the tent, the promised aid arrived and helped Auron to his feet as gently as possible. Tidus and Wakka bore most of the scarlet guardian's substantial weight. Somehow, having to rely on others seemed to diminish his aura of authority. I got to my feet and scampered in front of them to hold the tent flap open while they helped him exit the dwelling.
The three covered the distance to the fire in short, carefully measured steps. Every other pace, one of the younger guardians looked up and inquired after Auron's status. He met their questions with a scowl. Auron despised being treated like an invalid. After the third episode, I went back to the tent to fetch some of the older guardian's bedding. He wouldn't be able to sit on the frozen ground very comfortably.
Wakka and Tidus held the guardian up while I arranged some of the blankets and pillows beneath Auron. They set him down as gently as they could manage, but the swordsman began to tip backwards as they withdrew their support. Tidus looked over at Yuna, helplessly.
"We can't hold him up like this the entire time, " explained the blond.
Yuna nodded. "Someone needs to sit behind him to help hold him steady."
Both blitzballers shook their heads violently, not liking the implications. "No way," they said in unison. Yuna glanced over at Kimahri, the only other member of the party sturdy enough to bear a significant portion of the guardian's weight.
Kimarhi shook his head slowly, his folded braids hitting against the blue face. "Kimahri friend of Auron, but not like that."
Yuna's countenance grew more desperate. "Guys...please?"
I got up from my spot by the fire and walked over to where Tidus and Wakka still supported Auron. "I'll do it."
"Thank you, Rikku, " Yuna's relief couldn't be more apparent in her voice.
I hunched down behind Auron, placing my legs on each side of his form and wrapping my arms around his robed torso. Even beneath two layers of clothing, I could feel the definition of his chisled chest. The muscles tensed slightly as Auron's weight was transferred from Tidus and Wakka to myself. Even though I held the guardian as tightly as I was able, he began to tilt backward again. In response I repositioned myself a bit, and rested more of his body against mine. The back of Auron's head came to rest squarely on my chest. I devoted all of my remaining energy to preventing myself from blushing at the contact.
Auron's expression remained neutral, although I felt his breath catch as I settled him into position. I could appreicate why none of the men wanted to volunteer for this. We didn't look exactly...platonic...in the way we were seated, but our appearance was far from the minds of my companions. The pilgirmage must go on.
Yuna opened the meeting. "We've sat around here long enough, we need to make a decision...where do we go next?"
Auron wasted no time in answering. "Our immediate concern is the pilgrimage." He glanced over at Yuna, "Are you willing to go on?"
She had no reservations. "Yes. But then, do you think Yevon will allow it?"
Auron's voice hardened at the mention of Yevon and a touch of indignation crept into his words. "The Fayth are the ones that give power to the summoners. Not the temples or the teachings, " he nearly spat the last. "If the temples try to stop us...Then we will defy Yevon if we must." Auron's tone brooked no argument, yet would the others allow the challenge to their beliefs to go unanswered?
Tidus was the first to regain his wits after Auron's unexpected condemnation of Spira's dominant religion. "Whoa!"
My surprise got the better of me and if possible, I held onto him more tightly. "I can't believe you said that!"
Even the normally silent and passive Lulu raised her eyebrows in shock. "Sir Auron!" Various party members regarded him, sloughing their respect for the "legendary guardian," and beginning to suspect him for the disenchanted heretic he really was.
Wakka was on his feet, rapidly advancing toward the vulnerable Auron. "Count me out! We have to atone, to make up for the sins we have committed." His gaze swept the party members, stoppping to focus on Yuna while he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Of course...It's not like I ever liked Maester Seymour, ya? No way I'll ever forgive him for killing Lord Jyscal!" He made a broad, sweeping gesture with his other hand.
"...and for trying to do us all in too, you know?" Wakka turned to face Auron again. "But still, the bunch of us going against Yevon? No way!"
Lulu picked up where Wakka left off. "But still, we have transgressed and must face our punishment."
Auron looked as though he'd have no part of it. He'd paid his dues, long ago. Before he could object to Lulu's proposal, Yuna cut in.
"We must go to Bevelle. We must speak with Maester Mika and explain what has happened. There is no other way, I think." She truly believed it...every word.
Wakka strongly seconded her idea. "I agree."
Yuna rotated to face us. "Sir Auron..."
He'd expended all of his anger. "So it is decided," he said, resigned.
Yuna pressed the issue. "Will you come with us?"
Auron let out a short sigh. "I am the troublemaker, after all."
Tidus jumped on the older man's admission. "Yeah, that's right! You can always count on Auron to complicate things, " said Tidus with entirely too much enthusiasm. Why had the discussion degeneration into an Auron-bashing session? Someone needed to take up for the guardian if he refused to defend himself. Fervently I searched for something to say, in case anyone else decided to hop on the bandwagon. But my mind failed me.
Auron's response to Tidus seemed to freeze what little moisture remained in the air, "I never asked you to follow me."
Tidus made a vain attempt at a save. Perhaps guilt made him realize how unduly harsh he'd been to his mentor. "But hey, that's what friends are for. Right?"
No one had the chance to answer. An eerie sound rose in the distance, someone was singing. I recognized the Hymn of the Fayth. The haunting voice swept over our encampment, drawing us into the song. Most of the group were content to listen in silence at first, but nervous chatter began to drown out the sound of the fayth.
A low rumbling shook the ground, growing in power as a large creature approached the temple. Heavy footfalls announced the creature's arrival within dangerous proximity to the camp. Everyone got to their feet, and I clucthed Auron closer to me, wimpering audibly.
Auron's hands found mine and enclosed them. "It's going to be alright," he said reassuringly. He leaned his head back to emphasize his words with a warm smile. But, it didn't look like things would be alright. The tremors continued to grow until we could see the creature looming over us, blocking out the vast majority of the daylight.
"Sin!" Yuna shouted in disbelief. What the hell was Sin doing here?
Various other party members shouted warnings that were lost in the din of the creature's roar and continued movement. Only Tidus stood, wordless, staring at Sin. He looked as though he wanted to shout a challenge at the towering monster. Instead, he addressed it calmly, his voice betraying a hint of familiarity. Where would Tidus know Sin from?
Tidus' words to the monster didn't end the hell evolving in front of us. The creature had brought on a quake that threatened to rip the ground asunder and swallow us all. The earth heaved and rolled all around us, tossing up pieces of the icy soil.
Sin must have inhaled, as the debris loosened by the quake began to ascend violently into the air. Swirling gusts of wind sucked up everything that wasn't still firmly attached to the earth. I felt the wind tug at my hair and clothing as it increased in strength. Fragments of our tents and equipment orbited our heads dangerously. A voice somewhere nearby shouted for everyone to get down.
Auron shifted his weight suddenly, escaping from my grasp. Impossibly, he was on his feet and pivoted on broken legs to face me, his features a twisted mask of pain. His strong hands seized my shoulders and pushed me the rest of the way to the ground. The swordsman settled on top of me, the sensation of his weight lending some life to my flagging hopes of surviving the attack. He maneuvered his body to cover mine completely and his hands and arms reached up to shield my head and face from flying objects.
Trembling, I reached my arms inside his robe and secured them around his heavily muscled, heaving chest and back. My sweating plams slipped against the formed leather of his shirt, my desperation growing with every second. The wind was unrelenting in its intensity and
whipped at Auron's robe and hair mercilessly. Strands of the black and silver flew in every direction giving the guardian on top of me a wild, untamed look. He tucked his head into his high collar, bracing himself for the next gust.
When it came, it was more powerful than any of the previous ones, by far. The force of the wind nearly tore Auron from his position and every muscle in his body clenched as he fought against the unearthly squall. Little by little, he was losing the battle. I entwined my legs around his, not wanting to be propelled into the air alone. The wind finally overcame what resistance we were able to offer through our fatigue, and we were carried away into the air as one.
This might well be the end, I thought. I withdrew my arms from Auron's billowing robe and secured my hands around his head. Auron looked up at me wordlessly. I'd have given anything to know what he was thinking about at that moment. He didn't appear panicked in the least, and I attempted to lose myself in his calm. Thoughts raced through my mind and denied me the peace he must be experiencing. At least I would have the honor of spending the last moments of my existence with a man I greatly admired. Try as I might, I could not shake the fear of my impending death as it held my innards in its icy grip. I resolved not to let my life end without finishing one bit of business.
I swallowed hard, and looked into my would-be savior's eye. "Auron...I love you."
The man had no chance to respond as I pulled his head forcefully into contact with mine. I pressed my wind whipped and chapped lips against his and began to kiss him passionately. The stubble of his chin threatened to rub my face raw, but I didn't care. This could very well be the last action I ever took. Time was running out. I felt my tongue press past his lips and gain entry to his mouth. I don't recall if Auron returned the gesture or not, but it didn't matter to me. My tongue hungrily sought contact with his and was rewarded. All the desperation of my plight and desire to cling to life was expressed in that kiss. I continued to deepen the it until I felt darkness overtake me.