Can I Come In?
1 Chapter Six
Madam Pince was running between impossibly tall bookcases. Something fiendish was chasing her, baying for blood. All she'd done was arrive in the library to check upon an alarm-ward that had been triggered, and then…
'Here puss-puss,' came the voice of Drusilla, muffled by the bookcases that mercifully obscured Madam Pince from her view.
Madam Pince whimpered, and continued to move as urgently and quietly as possible. She felt rather like one of those rats that muggles would insist upon putting in mazes. She felt close to breaking point. As has already been observed, when wizards and witches are put in stressful situations, the solutions they come up with tend to be…interesting. (On the other side of the school, the ashes of fifteen carnivorous pouffes are stirred gently by the wind)
Elsewhere in the library, Spike was becoming more and more frustrated. It was taking some effort not to start ripping the library apart. Although therapeutic no doubt, it would make the task much harder. And he only had half an hour or so before he was supposed to allow the bloody wizard into the school. Spike knew he had some beef with a little kiddy wink, but he didn't know what it was that was so bad as to make him attempt to deal with Spike. He'd killed two bloody Slayers for God's (pardon his French) sake.
'You know,' mused Spike to himself, 'having a dastardly plan to turn everyone into ready made meals is so much easier when the librarians bother to make a sodding index!' This was shouted to the uncaring world at large. The parts of it that weren't currently sizzling nicely.
Drusilla wasn't too far behind Madam Pince, but was making a concerted effort to let her believe she had escaped. She peered around a corner, making a soft purring noise. Madam Pince had walked right into a cul-de- sac, which meant the little game was over.
When Drusilla glided around the corner, Madam Pince felt the bottom drop out of her world. She was snared by the monstrous innocence in Drusilla's eyes. Drusilla's hand shot out at Madam Pince, and lifted her up with all the effort of turning the page of a book.
'Are you just a piece of me I haven't met yet?' wondered Drusilla, baring her fangs.
Madam Pince was suitably confused. Struggling wildly, she grasped a heavy tome from a shelf, and hurled it at Drusilla's head. Drusilla collapsed soundlessly, and Madam Pince dropped to the floor. She coughed quietly, and started to look for an exit. Unlike some of the other members of staff, she didn't have quite the right combination of dramatic flare and utter stupidity needed to hang around uttering something witty.
***
The Death Eaters were thoroughly lost. They had been lost an hour earlier, and they were still lost now. They'd temporarily given up on trying to find the dining hall, and were sitting down for a bit of peace and quiet. No more explosions had followed the first, which was generally considered a good thing. Violence and explosions were appreciated by the Death Eaters only so long as they were the source.
This corridor in particular was fortunate enough as to be lined with the kind of cosy arm chair that people in waiting rooms pray for. The leader of the group had naturally done his best to pick the most comfy looking chair, if only to cling to some sense of order in what was rapidly becoming a pointless endeavour. Even Voldemort's wrath didn't scare the Death Eaters at this stage, because they privately suspected that he'd be just as lost in this situation.
***
Professor McGonagall sighed with some small sense of satisfaction. She was slightly merry, having needed an artificial boost to her courage, but she had managed to pull off the spell without the slightest hitch. If they all survived, she should surely get some sort of award for this…enchanting an entire building within so short a space of time was no mean feat. She chastised herself. The reward wasn't the point when there were Death Eaters about. Still…it would be nice to be appreciated.
She formed a mental list. Death Eaters: taken care of for now. Next: Dumbledore?
She quickly gathered the few items she thought she would need, and hurried out through the door.
***
Drusilla slowly came to, seething with rage. Then a mood took over her, and she felt happy. She was standing in a meadow, full of happy people and…no, that wasn't right was it? She was here with Spike, and she wanted to kill someone very much. She looked around her, and her eyes settled on the book that the damned librarian had hit her with. Her eyes widened, shone brightly, and she smiled broadly with boundless joy.
'Spike!' she called out, 'I've been struck with your birthday present!'
***
'Nosferatu Malficius Thaumum?' said Spike a few minutes later, after much silence. 'Why couldn't the stupid wanker just call it "The Master's big book of nastiness"? Oh well. He's dead, I'm not. Come on, Dru. I'm in the mood to celebrate.'
***
Someone not in the mood to celebrate was Marie Neardrop. She was now privately wondering if it was possible to kill a ghost, because Moaning Myrtle certainly had it coming. Well…she wasn't going to stay in here all night. She aimed her wand at the door to the outside corridor. This might get her expelled, but at least she wouldn't die in a toilet cubicle.
***
Harry, Ron, and Hermione slowly backed away. Unfortunately for them, in their haste to reach Dumbledore they had encountered one of the vampires that had been made my Spike and Drusilla. The vampire grinned nastily as it advanced slowly. It was really enjoying this. They were pressed up against a wall, and the vampire was just about level with the girl's toilets. It crouched, ready to spring, and-
There was a loud bang, a bright flash of green, and the door flew off its hinges, crashing into the vampire. This happened with such force that the vampire was actually crushed against the opposite wall. The vampire instantly became so much loose dust.
Smoke and dust billowed outwards from the explosion. Harry and his friends coughed heavily, and a small figure emerged from the cloud.
'I didn't hurt anyone did I?' asked Marie nervously.
***
The Death Eaters carried on drinking tea nonchalantly.
One said, 'Did anyone else hear that?'
'Yes,' came the resounding chorus.
'Oh. Just checking.'
***
Madame Trelawney looked around in puzzlement. Blasted secret passages. She could have told anyone that something like this would happen. It was practically her job description. The dark dank corridors stretched out in every direction. She wondered which way she should go. It probably didn't matter too much in the long run. She hobbled along, until she came across a rather frightened Madam Pince.
***
Tim was sticking close to the other three vampires. He had heard explosions coming from across the castle, and suspected that this meant that some of the others were dying. He'd only been a vampire for a few nights, and he wasn't about to end his life here.
They'd come across Trevor, the Slytherin prefect a few minutes ago. It sounded a lot like Petunia had gotten annoyed with him and then knocked him out. Unfortunately, she hadn't retrieved Trevor after getting the boy, which probably meant she'd died at some point.
Of course, they'd kept Trevor around. They might need a snack later.
***
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and now indeed Marie, were somewhat surprised when they entered the corridor in which Dumbledore's office resided. Had once resided possibly, because where the door usually was, there was instead the front half of a massive black gargoyle growing out of the wall. It's 'skin' was so polished that they could see their own faces in it.
'What the-' began Ron, but was interrupted.
'None may pass,' intoned the gargoyle, 'save Mundanus.'
'Why?' asked Marie.
The gargoyle looked puzzled for a second. 'No-one has ever actually asked me that before. You'd have thought someone would wouldn't you?'
'She just did,' pointed out Hermione, 'and you haven't answered the question. Which is very rude.' Ron rolled his eyes.
'Very well,' uttered the gargoyle, 'I may not let you pass because-'
'What are you children doing up at this hour?' came the Scottish accent of Professor McGonagall, 'and with all this dreadful business going on too! And don't you try to tell me you haven't noticed, because I wasn't born yest- Oh. What's that gargoyle doing there?'
'I am here to prevent passage,' said the gargoyle. It's voice was booming rather less threateningly now.
'Whatever are you doing that for?' asked McGonagall.
'I was just getting to that,' said the gargoyle wearily.
'Well, out with it!' said Professor McGonagall. The children were trying to suppress mild sniggers.
'Professor McGonagall! And pupils?' queried Professor Aconite in a puzzled voice as she and Professor Snape rounded the corner.
The gargoyle looked on the point of crying. To its left, Harry and the other children were standing looking confused, while on the left the three professors were now animatedly discussing the nights events.
'Death Eaters!?' gasped Harry and Ron as Professor McGonagall came to her share of the story.
'I'm afraid so,' said McGonagall, 'but I've taken care of them for now.'
'Pardon me-' began the gargoyle.
'Well what do they want?' asked Aconite, 'they must be out of their minds if they're working with vampires! You can't trust the little bu- er, devils as far as you can throw them!'
'I think they want something in the castle,' said Harry, 'I don't know why, but they made my aunt into a vampire. Haven't seen my uncle though.'
'Then he's probably dead,' said Melissa Aconite carelessly, 'and they probably want you. The Death Eaters have an obvious grudge against you, and the vampires involved your mortal family. We really need Dumbledore's help if we have Death Eaters as well as vampires running around. What's this gargoyle doing here?'
'Not a great deal,' muttered the gargoyle.
'Dark magic. Of course. Who put you here?' demanded Snape, 'I have potions that can extract the truth if you make it necessary,' he finished with a snarl.
The gargoyle felt that it was time to resume its task of menacing people. 'Your mere potions and magician's charms will avail you naught. I am set here by your professor, Mundanus, and I shall not move ere he bid it,' he boomed.
'Mundanus?' said McGonagall, in a highly puzzled tone, 'why on Earth did he do that?'
The gargoyle took a different tone with Minerva McGonagall, 'why else, O lady? He is a Death Eater of course!'
There was silence as the teachers tried to swallow the shock. They had known Mundanus for a long time, and he had always been so very unassuming. Harry and his friends were less shocked. This was the third teacher at Hogwarts who had turned out to be a servant of Voldemort.
Aconite paused a while before asking, 'And how may we make you move? Mundanus will surely not allow you to leave.'
'He shall surely not,' mocked the gargoyle, 'for he is dead. I can sense it in my stones.'
'I see,' hissed Aconite.
'And I shall not willingly leave,' said the gargoyle, 'for it is my joy to see humans suffer.' It appeared to have recovered its self esteem, now it was the centre of attention.
Professor Aconite reached into the bag she carried. She retrieved several large hammers, and some lead pipes, and distributed them between her fellow professors, and even amongst the children present.
'What are you doing that for?' asked the gargoyle nervously.
'Have you ever heard of a Slayer?' asked Aconite in the cheeriest voice she had had that week.
The gargoyle's face dropped like a concrete seagull. 'Oh shit,' it said.
***
The three vampires led by Tim came across the Death Eaters quite by accident. It is possible that vampires are not quite so affected by mortal magics such as the labyrinth charm laid upon the Death Eaters, but the why's and wherefore's of this situation may be hard to discern.
The vampires were feeling slightly better for having drunk their fill from Trevor, the Slytherin prefect, but were still itching for a fight they could win.
The Death Eaters paused in mid-sip of their tea.
'Hello?' said one of the Death Eaters.
'Aren't you guys supposed to meet us all in the hall?' asked Tim.
'Err...we got lost. Do you know the way?'
'Yes, and so should you. Follow us. We'll show those bloody hu- err, people what we can do.'
And the Death Eaters trailed after the vampires, and were led out of the trap. The Death Eaters were never aware of the spell that had caught them, and decided not to mention it amongst themselves, feeling embarrassed at having got lost at the school they once attended.
***
The gargoyle had something of a head-ache, but wasn't looking much like rubble.
'Are you quite finished?' it whined.
'No,' said Melissa, and hit it over the head again with a sledge hammer. 'When are you going to move?'
'I can't as such. I'm more or less glued into the brick work.'
'Hmm…', mused Melissa, pondering what size of fireball might do the trick.
'No!' said McGonagall urgently, guessing at what was going through Melissa's head, 'you could crisp Dumbledore in there!'
'Oh. Yeah. Well, back to the hammers.'
'No!' shouted the gargoyle this time. 'Not the bloody hammers! Don't you have anything more precise to work with?'
Harry and Ron pointed their wands at the gargoyle. 'Expelliarmus!'
The gargoyle flinched somewhat, but wasn't removed. It rolled its burning red eyes.
'You aren't used to working with many tools are you?' asked the gargoyle sarcastically.
'Well, I'm ok with the hammers if you are,' threatened Ron.
'I know a small acid spell,' said Marie, after remaining quiet for some time. She was quite timid, and had been hoping that the others would see through the problem. 'A small application at the base should erode the contact point.'
Hermione looked at Marie as if she had just spotted her long lost twin sister. 'Of course!' she shouted, 'then the rest of the growth would retract into the gargoyle!'
'You know,' said Snape, 'I have always said Marie was the brightest Slytherin student.'
'No you haven't!' pointed out McGonagall. Snape coughed.
'Well, she is,' said Aconite, matter-of-factly, 'not least because all of the other Slytherin students are dead.'
There was silence. 'Didn't I mention that?' asked Aconite, 'well, never mind.'
***
The Death Eaters and the vampires were at last in the dining hall. The Death Eaters were sitting down now at the Slytherin table, reminiscing about their school days. The vampires stood at the other side of the hall, having lost some of their respect for the supposedly fearsome sect of wizards and witches.
Spike and Drusilla slammed the doors apart and walked in with a decidedly confident swagger. Well, less of a swagger, and more of a stalking kind of movement. Menace poured out from them. Spike carried a large sword in his right hand, and held a large book under his left arm.
'We're ready to get moving. Where's the boy? And Petunia for that matter?' Spike asked.
'Dunno,' said Tim dumbly.
'Fine,' muttered Spike, as the Death Eaters whispered among themselves. The vampires weren't doing their part of the task…what now?
'Voldie can go and get the bloody boy himself,' muttered Spike as he drew a large circle on the stony floor with chalk. Then he dropped a red jewel in the middle, that he had been carrying for several days in his leather jacket. The jewel glowed brightly, and there was a flash of light, and a dull roar of noise.
The leader of the Death Eaters stood up. 'The wards!' he shouted joyfully, 'the wards against Apparation are gone! He can join us now!'
The other Death Eaters laughed. The night was finally going right. They gathered in a large circle around the edge of the room. Spike and Drusilla edged back towards the door they had entered through, and Spike began to read aloud to himself from the book. Might as well do something constructive with the time, right? He was amazed at how simple this was, he thought to himself.
***
The gargoyle was now separated from the door now. As it had no legs, however, it was wobbling rather uncertainly against the wall opposite to the door.
'Don't suppose you could give me legs?' the gargoyle asked Marie plaintively.
'Don't think that's a good idea until you learn to be more sociable,' said Aconite. 'Wait there, we'll deal with you later.'
McGonagall opened the door. 'Dumbledore?' she asked, 'we've come to get you out. There are-'
'Thank you, Minerva, I know. Death Eaters, and vampires. I could hear you from inside. I must say that Marie has earned some points for Slytherin. Although it sounds like I may have to dissolve the house due to lack of members. That can be dealt with later. The wards are gone, so I must assume the worst. Still, I am free again, which is very good news. Fawkes was running out of songs, and he is most terrible at impersonating Shirley Bassey,' Dumbledore smiled slightly, and his eyes twinkled, 'now…let us find Madame Trewlawney. She can tell us, hopefully, where the Death Eaters are.'
Dumbledore led the way into a series of secret passages.
***
The circle that Spike had drawn blazed with a fiery red light, and faded into nothingness. As the glare diminished, it became clear that where the circle had been, now there stood a robed figure. Dressed in the darkest of black robes, its hood was drawn up to obscure the face. From within the darkness of the hood blazed two red eyes.
The figure surveyed the room. The Death Eaters cowered before his gaze, and prostrated themselves. Spike ignored the figure, and casually read to himself.
Finally the robed figure looked upon the leader of the Death Eater group.
'Where is the boy?' it demanded.
No answer came.
'Very well. I shall destroy this entire school if that is what it takes!'
The Death Eaters cowered and apologised for their incompetence.
'Never mind you craven wretches. Lord Voldemort has arrived at last!'
1 Chapter Six
Madam Pince was running between impossibly tall bookcases. Something fiendish was chasing her, baying for blood. All she'd done was arrive in the library to check upon an alarm-ward that had been triggered, and then…
'Here puss-puss,' came the voice of Drusilla, muffled by the bookcases that mercifully obscured Madam Pince from her view.
Madam Pince whimpered, and continued to move as urgently and quietly as possible. She felt rather like one of those rats that muggles would insist upon putting in mazes. She felt close to breaking point. As has already been observed, when wizards and witches are put in stressful situations, the solutions they come up with tend to be…interesting. (On the other side of the school, the ashes of fifteen carnivorous pouffes are stirred gently by the wind)
Elsewhere in the library, Spike was becoming more and more frustrated. It was taking some effort not to start ripping the library apart. Although therapeutic no doubt, it would make the task much harder. And he only had half an hour or so before he was supposed to allow the bloody wizard into the school. Spike knew he had some beef with a little kiddy wink, but he didn't know what it was that was so bad as to make him attempt to deal with Spike. He'd killed two bloody Slayers for God's (pardon his French) sake.
'You know,' mused Spike to himself, 'having a dastardly plan to turn everyone into ready made meals is so much easier when the librarians bother to make a sodding index!' This was shouted to the uncaring world at large. The parts of it that weren't currently sizzling nicely.
Drusilla wasn't too far behind Madam Pince, but was making a concerted effort to let her believe she had escaped. She peered around a corner, making a soft purring noise. Madam Pince had walked right into a cul-de- sac, which meant the little game was over.
When Drusilla glided around the corner, Madam Pince felt the bottom drop out of her world. She was snared by the monstrous innocence in Drusilla's eyes. Drusilla's hand shot out at Madam Pince, and lifted her up with all the effort of turning the page of a book.
'Are you just a piece of me I haven't met yet?' wondered Drusilla, baring her fangs.
Madam Pince was suitably confused. Struggling wildly, she grasped a heavy tome from a shelf, and hurled it at Drusilla's head. Drusilla collapsed soundlessly, and Madam Pince dropped to the floor. She coughed quietly, and started to look for an exit. Unlike some of the other members of staff, she didn't have quite the right combination of dramatic flare and utter stupidity needed to hang around uttering something witty.
***
The Death Eaters were thoroughly lost. They had been lost an hour earlier, and they were still lost now. They'd temporarily given up on trying to find the dining hall, and were sitting down for a bit of peace and quiet. No more explosions had followed the first, which was generally considered a good thing. Violence and explosions were appreciated by the Death Eaters only so long as they were the source.
This corridor in particular was fortunate enough as to be lined with the kind of cosy arm chair that people in waiting rooms pray for. The leader of the group had naturally done his best to pick the most comfy looking chair, if only to cling to some sense of order in what was rapidly becoming a pointless endeavour. Even Voldemort's wrath didn't scare the Death Eaters at this stage, because they privately suspected that he'd be just as lost in this situation.
***
Professor McGonagall sighed with some small sense of satisfaction. She was slightly merry, having needed an artificial boost to her courage, but she had managed to pull off the spell without the slightest hitch. If they all survived, she should surely get some sort of award for this…enchanting an entire building within so short a space of time was no mean feat. She chastised herself. The reward wasn't the point when there were Death Eaters about. Still…it would be nice to be appreciated.
She formed a mental list. Death Eaters: taken care of for now. Next: Dumbledore?
She quickly gathered the few items she thought she would need, and hurried out through the door.
***
Drusilla slowly came to, seething with rage. Then a mood took over her, and she felt happy. She was standing in a meadow, full of happy people and…no, that wasn't right was it? She was here with Spike, and she wanted to kill someone very much. She looked around her, and her eyes settled on the book that the damned librarian had hit her with. Her eyes widened, shone brightly, and she smiled broadly with boundless joy.
'Spike!' she called out, 'I've been struck with your birthday present!'
***
'Nosferatu Malficius Thaumum?' said Spike a few minutes later, after much silence. 'Why couldn't the stupid wanker just call it "The Master's big book of nastiness"? Oh well. He's dead, I'm not. Come on, Dru. I'm in the mood to celebrate.'
***
Someone not in the mood to celebrate was Marie Neardrop. She was now privately wondering if it was possible to kill a ghost, because Moaning Myrtle certainly had it coming. Well…she wasn't going to stay in here all night. She aimed her wand at the door to the outside corridor. This might get her expelled, but at least she wouldn't die in a toilet cubicle.
***
Harry, Ron, and Hermione slowly backed away. Unfortunately for them, in their haste to reach Dumbledore they had encountered one of the vampires that had been made my Spike and Drusilla. The vampire grinned nastily as it advanced slowly. It was really enjoying this. They were pressed up against a wall, and the vampire was just about level with the girl's toilets. It crouched, ready to spring, and-
There was a loud bang, a bright flash of green, and the door flew off its hinges, crashing into the vampire. This happened with such force that the vampire was actually crushed against the opposite wall. The vampire instantly became so much loose dust.
Smoke and dust billowed outwards from the explosion. Harry and his friends coughed heavily, and a small figure emerged from the cloud.
'I didn't hurt anyone did I?' asked Marie nervously.
***
The Death Eaters carried on drinking tea nonchalantly.
One said, 'Did anyone else hear that?'
'Yes,' came the resounding chorus.
'Oh. Just checking.'
***
Madame Trelawney looked around in puzzlement. Blasted secret passages. She could have told anyone that something like this would happen. It was practically her job description. The dark dank corridors stretched out in every direction. She wondered which way she should go. It probably didn't matter too much in the long run. She hobbled along, until she came across a rather frightened Madam Pince.
***
Tim was sticking close to the other three vampires. He had heard explosions coming from across the castle, and suspected that this meant that some of the others were dying. He'd only been a vampire for a few nights, and he wasn't about to end his life here.
They'd come across Trevor, the Slytherin prefect a few minutes ago. It sounded a lot like Petunia had gotten annoyed with him and then knocked him out. Unfortunately, she hadn't retrieved Trevor after getting the boy, which probably meant she'd died at some point.
Of course, they'd kept Trevor around. They might need a snack later.
***
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and now indeed Marie, were somewhat surprised when they entered the corridor in which Dumbledore's office resided. Had once resided possibly, because where the door usually was, there was instead the front half of a massive black gargoyle growing out of the wall. It's 'skin' was so polished that they could see their own faces in it.
'What the-' began Ron, but was interrupted.
'None may pass,' intoned the gargoyle, 'save Mundanus.'
'Why?' asked Marie.
The gargoyle looked puzzled for a second. 'No-one has ever actually asked me that before. You'd have thought someone would wouldn't you?'
'She just did,' pointed out Hermione, 'and you haven't answered the question. Which is very rude.' Ron rolled his eyes.
'Very well,' uttered the gargoyle, 'I may not let you pass because-'
'What are you children doing up at this hour?' came the Scottish accent of Professor McGonagall, 'and with all this dreadful business going on too! And don't you try to tell me you haven't noticed, because I wasn't born yest- Oh. What's that gargoyle doing there?'
'I am here to prevent passage,' said the gargoyle. It's voice was booming rather less threateningly now.
'Whatever are you doing that for?' asked McGonagall.
'I was just getting to that,' said the gargoyle wearily.
'Well, out with it!' said Professor McGonagall. The children were trying to suppress mild sniggers.
'Professor McGonagall! And pupils?' queried Professor Aconite in a puzzled voice as she and Professor Snape rounded the corner.
The gargoyle looked on the point of crying. To its left, Harry and the other children were standing looking confused, while on the left the three professors were now animatedly discussing the nights events.
'Death Eaters!?' gasped Harry and Ron as Professor McGonagall came to her share of the story.
'I'm afraid so,' said McGonagall, 'but I've taken care of them for now.'
'Pardon me-' began the gargoyle.
'Well what do they want?' asked Aconite, 'they must be out of their minds if they're working with vampires! You can't trust the little bu- er, devils as far as you can throw them!'
'I think they want something in the castle,' said Harry, 'I don't know why, but they made my aunt into a vampire. Haven't seen my uncle though.'
'Then he's probably dead,' said Melissa Aconite carelessly, 'and they probably want you. The Death Eaters have an obvious grudge against you, and the vampires involved your mortal family. We really need Dumbledore's help if we have Death Eaters as well as vampires running around. What's this gargoyle doing here?'
'Not a great deal,' muttered the gargoyle.
'Dark magic. Of course. Who put you here?' demanded Snape, 'I have potions that can extract the truth if you make it necessary,' he finished with a snarl.
The gargoyle felt that it was time to resume its task of menacing people. 'Your mere potions and magician's charms will avail you naught. I am set here by your professor, Mundanus, and I shall not move ere he bid it,' he boomed.
'Mundanus?' said McGonagall, in a highly puzzled tone, 'why on Earth did he do that?'
The gargoyle took a different tone with Minerva McGonagall, 'why else, O lady? He is a Death Eater of course!'
There was silence as the teachers tried to swallow the shock. They had known Mundanus for a long time, and he had always been so very unassuming. Harry and his friends were less shocked. This was the third teacher at Hogwarts who had turned out to be a servant of Voldemort.
Aconite paused a while before asking, 'And how may we make you move? Mundanus will surely not allow you to leave.'
'He shall surely not,' mocked the gargoyle, 'for he is dead. I can sense it in my stones.'
'I see,' hissed Aconite.
'And I shall not willingly leave,' said the gargoyle, 'for it is my joy to see humans suffer.' It appeared to have recovered its self esteem, now it was the centre of attention.
Professor Aconite reached into the bag she carried. She retrieved several large hammers, and some lead pipes, and distributed them between her fellow professors, and even amongst the children present.
'What are you doing that for?' asked the gargoyle nervously.
'Have you ever heard of a Slayer?' asked Aconite in the cheeriest voice she had had that week.
The gargoyle's face dropped like a concrete seagull. 'Oh shit,' it said.
***
The three vampires led by Tim came across the Death Eaters quite by accident. It is possible that vampires are not quite so affected by mortal magics such as the labyrinth charm laid upon the Death Eaters, but the why's and wherefore's of this situation may be hard to discern.
The vampires were feeling slightly better for having drunk their fill from Trevor, the Slytherin prefect, but were still itching for a fight they could win.
The Death Eaters paused in mid-sip of their tea.
'Hello?' said one of the Death Eaters.
'Aren't you guys supposed to meet us all in the hall?' asked Tim.
'Err...we got lost. Do you know the way?'
'Yes, and so should you. Follow us. We'll show those bloody hu- err, people what we can do.'
And the Death Eaters trailed after the vampires, and were led out of the trap. The Death Eaters were never aware of the spell that had caught them, and decided not to mention it amongst themselves, feeling embarrassed at having got lost at the school they once attended.
***
The gargoyle had something of a head-ache, but wasn't looking much like rubble.
'Are you quite finished?' it whined.
'No,' said Melissa, and hit it over the head again with a sledge hammer. 'When are you going to move?'
'I can't as such. I'm more or less glued into the brick work.'
'Hmm…', mused Melissa, pondering what size of fireball might do the trick.
'No!' said McGonagall urgently, guessing at what was going through Melissa's head, 'you could crisp Dumbledore in there!'
'Oh. Yeah. Well, back to the hammers.'
'No!' shouted the gargoyle this time. 'Not the bloody hammers! Don't you have anything more precise to work with?'
Harry and Ron pointed their wands at the gargoyle. 'Expelliarmus!'
The gargoyle flinched somewhat, but wasn't removed. It rolled its burning red eyes.
'You aren't used to working with many tools are you?' asked the gargoyle sarcastically.
'Well, I'm ok with the hammers if you are,' threatened Ron.
'I know a small acid spell,' said Marie, after remaining quiet for some time. She was quite timid, and had been hoping that the others would see through the problem. 'A small application at the base should erode the contact point.'
Hermione looked at Marie as if she had just spotted her long lost twin sister. 'Of course!' she shouted, 'then the rest of the growth would retract into the gargoyle!'
'You know,' said Snape, 'I have always said Marie was the brightest Slytherin student.'
'No you haven't!' pointed out McGonagall. Snape coughed.
'Well, she is,' said Aconite, matter-of-factly, 'not least because all of the other Slytherin students are dead.'
There was silence. 'Didn't I mention that?' asked Aconite, 'well, never mind.'
***
The Death Eaters and the vampires were at last in the dining hall. The Death Eaters were sitting down now at the Slytherin table, reminiscing about their school days. The vampires stood at the other side of the hall, having lost some of their respect for the supposedly fearsome sect of wizards and witches.
Spike and Drusilla slammed the doors apart and walked in with a decidedly confident swagger. Well, less of a swagger, and more of a stalking kind of movement. Menace poured out from them. Spike carried a large sword in his right hand, and held a large book under his left arm.
'We're ready to get moving. Where's the boy? And Petunia for that matter?' Spike asked.
'Dunno,' said Tim dumbly.
'Fine,' muttered Spike, as the Death Eaters whispered among themselves. The vampires weren't doing their part of the task…what now?
'Voldie can go and get the bloody boy himself,' muttered Spike as he drew a large circle on the stony floor with chalk. Then he dropped a red jewel in the middle, that he had been carrying for several days in his leather jacket. The jewel glowed brightly, and there was a flash of light, and a dull roar of noise.
The leader of the Death Eaters stood up. 'The wards!' he shouted joyfully, 'the wards against Apparation are gone! He can join us now!'
The other Death Eaters laughed. The night was finally going right. They gathered in a large circle around the edge of the room. Spike and Drusilla edged back towards the door they had entered through, and Spike began to read aloud to himself from the book. Might as well do something constructive with the time, right? He was amazed at how simple this was, he thought to himself.
***
The gargoyle was now separated from the door now. As it had no legs, however, it was wobbling rather uncertainly against the wall opposite to the door.
'Don't suppose you could give me legs?' the gargoyle asked Marie plaintively.
'Don't think that's a good idea until you learn to be more sociable,' said Aconite. 'Wait there, we'll deal with you later.'
McGonagall opened the door. 'Dumbledore?' she asked, 'we've come to get you out. There are-'
'Thank you, Minerva, I know. Death Eaters, and vampires. I could hear you from inside. I must say that Marie has earned some points for Slytherin. Although it sounds like I may have to dissolve the house due to lack of members. That can be dealt with later. The wards are gone, so I must assume the worst. Still, I am free again, which is very good news. Fawkes was running out of songs, and he is most terrible at impersonating Shirley Bassey,' Dumbledore smiled slightly, and his eyes twinkled, 'now…let us find Madame Trewlawney. She can tell us, hopefully, where the Death Eaters are.'
Dumbledore led the way into a series of secret passages.
***
The circle that Spike had drawn blazed with a fiery red light, and faded into nothingness. As the glare diminished, it became clear that where the circle had been, now there stood a robed figure. Dressed in the darkest of black robes, its hood was drawn up to obscure the face. From within the darkness of the hood blazed two red eyes.
The figure surveyed the room. The Death Eaters cowered before his gaze, and prostrated themselves. Spike ignored the figure, and casually read to himself.
Finally the robed figure looked upon the leader of the Death Eater group.
'Where is the boy?' it demanded.
No answer came.
'Very well. I shall destroy this entire school if that is what it takes!'
The Death Eaters cowered and apologised for their incompetence.
'Never mind you craven wretches. Lord Voldemort has arrived at last!'