Auron nudged me awake sometime later. How long had I been asleep? It really didn't matter, I reflected. The feelings of sorrow and emptiness had lost their edge and begun to recede. Auron had seen to that, at great personal cost. Against hope, I was beginning to believe that maybe he did share my feelings and was simply having a harder time coming to terms with them than I had. Not that it was easy for me, of course. But Auron was...different. There were doubtless many hurtful things in his past that he didn't want to relive and I often regretted that opening himself to those kinds of feelings again was really the only way to pull him out of his self-imposed isolation. In the end, it would be best for him, but thinking it over and expressing it to Auron were two very different things. He was beginning to understand, and more importantly, respond.
Words couldn't express the gratitude I felt for his presence in this moment. Nothing he could say provided quite the same comfort as did his warm, strong body. Auron's muscular arms were still wrapped tightly about my waist, and though there were things we both wanted to say, we lay there for a bit, savoring the moment. His stubble-roughened chin rested on the crown of my own head, his body almost enclosing mine. I never wanted this to end. Maybe this was why Auron said so little, if he could be this effective in silence...
Curiousity and the desire to hear his deep, sonorous voice again eventually drove me to break that silence. There wasn't really a good way to word the question I wanted to ask, and every shred of common sense warned me against asking. "Auron...why?"
Before he answered, Auron tilted his head down and planted a soft kiss in my hair. "You really have to ask?" His voice was little more than a deep rumble in his chest. Was this the same Auron who, mere days before, had threatened to have Yuna revoke my status as a guardian?
"It's just...you spent so much time trying to avoid this...and I realize my childish antics put a lot of pressure on you." The admission was easier to make than I expected. Maybe that was because I had what I most desired right here...finally.
"I'm here because I want to be, if that's what you're asking." He kissed my forehead. "I'm not a man that gets bullied into anything...well, not unless you're a summoner." A warm, genuine smile spread across his face, apparent even in his eye. Even the scar that dominated the right side of his face seemed gentler.
I'm honestly not sure why I pursued the conversation further. I had the answer I wanted...even if it was no clearer what had caused him to change his mind so completely. "I...just, well...the Auron I knew a couple days ago...he wouldn't have done this, you know?"
I feared that for a moment he might take offense at my comment, but the smile persisted. He unwrapped one hand from my waist to caress my cheek. "So many questions...you'll never accept anything at face value, will you?" It was more of a lighthearted teasing than an admonishment...it took a moment for me to realize this. Whatever I'd thought of him before, I'd never considered that Auron could ever be...playful. "Lake Macalania...Sin...they made me realize there were some lessons left to learn, even for an old guardian like me."
Auron paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "If things had gone differently, we might not have made it out of there. I might have lost you..." the prospect truly seemed to horrify him. "What I told you before was true. Life is precious. It...it almost happened again...Yevon, it's been so long..." His last words were more for himself than for me, although I understood the sentiment. Even denying himself the indulgence of his feelings, the loss would have been the same. The damage had been done.
I really had nothing to offer in response to Auron's words. I thanked any being that would listen that he had at last decided to acknowledge his feelings. He truly did appear more at ease than he'd been throughout our journey. He seemed more like the younger version of himself that I'd seen in the sphere in Macalania Forest. Perhaps even more alive than he'd been in ten years...not an easy thing for a dead man...
That revelation, while shocking, could not change my feelings for him. I'd known him too long. Dead or alive...was unimportant for now. Auron was, and always would be Auron regardless of the nature of his existence. There was one important consequence of his being dead, however. He couldn't fight the Farplane forever...he'd have to be Sent eventually...likely at the end of the pilgrimage. I resolved not to let that interfere with my ability to enjoy his company while I could. Best not to think about it until we got to that moment. There was still a lot left to do in the meantime...finding and recovering Yuna obviously first on the list.
There was a firm knock on the door, more a warning than an inquiry. Our visitor didn't wait to be acknowledged and entered immediately. Reluctantly, I raised my head from Auron's chest to identify the new arrival. Wakka. Thank goodness he wouldn't be surprised to find us together. As soon as he saw us lying in bed, Wakka's gaze went to his feet.
"Uh, Sir Auron, Cid has asked to see you privately...He implied that it was, uh, urgent. He said to meet him in his quarters." Without waiting for a response, Wakka fled the room. Had they found Yuna? Auron was the natural leader of the group in her absence and it only made sense for Cid to consult him before planning our next move.
Auron waited until Wakka was gone, and the door closed behind him before getting out of bed. As he rose, he took one of my hands in both of his and kissed it. "I'll be back soon, Rikku...hopefully with some good news." Auron must have shared my interpretation of Wakka's message. What else could be so urgent? He collected his shirt, collar and glasses from where he'd set them hours ago, dressed, and departed without reclaiming his robe from me.
I waited until Auron's lingering body heat faded from the spot he'd occupied in the bed, then got up as well and set out for the luxurious room Father had claimed for himself. The air of the corridor was somewhat chilly, so I quickly fetched Auron's robe from where I'd left it in the bed, securing it in place with the belt he'd also left behind. When I arrived at Father's room, I pressed my ear to the door. The deep voices of both men were easily heard through the thin metal sheet blocking the portal.
Father's tone was angry and accusing from the first I heard. "What the hell were you doing with my daughter?" Oh no!
Auron remained silent. I wished I could have seen his body language. Both men were strong-willed and not likely to cede ground easily.
Cid wasted no time in following up when it became apparent that Auron wasn't going to dignify the question with a response. Auron must have regarded him blankly. "Don't play stupid with me! I saw you kiss her. Your position as a guardian won't win you any points here, pedophile!"
Again, the accusation was met with silence. Father's anger grew by the second. "You've nothing to say for yourself? First, you drag my niece off to die on this accursed pilgrimage, and as if that weren't enough, you try to seduce my daughter?"
Auron's disciplined silence must be driving Father crazy. The old adage was true...you can't have an argument with just one person. I could imagine Auron's cool gaze remaining locked on my father in thoughtful detachment as the Al Bhed lost his patience...and perhaps his rationality, by degrees.
"Answer me, damn you!" Footsteps signified Father's quick movements. Toward Auron? Striking the guardian would be a mistake, I thought. Father can't be that stupid. What, then, was Cid doing?
Whatever it was, it got a reaction from Auron. His voice and tone remained level, reasonable in stark contrast to Father's. "Return those." And then I realized, Father must have reached up and plucked the sunglasses from Auron's face in an attempt to provoke the guardian. I was mildly surprised by this revelation. Auron was usually very particular about who touched him...or the glasses.
"I'll give them back when you decide to explain yourself." Father, too, had regained some of his composure, though not much.
Auron gave in, not wanting to force further confrontation. "Yuna's decision to make the pilgrimage was her own. If you want to prevent her from finishing it, take it up with her, but I'll not interfere in any Summoner's decision to undertake the pilgrimage." Vintage Auron. But he'd ignored the repeated questions about his intentions toward me.
"You can be sure I will, after we rescue her." Much as Father must have hated to admit it, Auron was going to be a necessary component in any rescue attempt. "And, about my daughter?" It was more a demand than a question.
Auron took a deep breath, and a calculated risk. "I can say nothing in my defense. You're right, I tried to seduce her." What are you doing, Auron! Are you mad? Father will surely kill you!
I could imagine Father's smirk of victory as he relinquished Auron's glasses. I listened in horror as I heard Father's fist connect with Auron's jaw. I heard nothing further, however, as Auron must have elected not to return the blow. "Stay away from my daughter and get the hell off my airship!"
Father would probably have men on their way to remove Auron from the room, and the airship. I ran back to my room as fast as my feet would carry me, and waited there for Auron to collect the rest of his equipment. I tried to compose myself in the few seconds before two grim-faced Al Bhed arrived with Auron. He entered the room wordlessly and collected his sword, strapping it to his back.
"Rikku, tell the others I will meet up with them in Bevelle," Auron said simply. He offered no explanation of what had happened in the meeting with Father. The trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth was all the explanation I needed, even if I hadn't heard the conversation.
I nodded. "Auron, I..." I wanted to embrace him, but my father's men were watching us closely.
He placed a finger to my lips to silence me. "I know, Rikku, I know. So do I. But for now, this is for the best. Everything will be ok," he said, and left the room with the two Al Bhed guards in tow. How can you be so calm, Auron?
After Auron and the guards left, I carefully removed the red coat Auron had not asked me to return to him, folded it, and hid it away in the bottom drawer of the dresser. It wouldn't do to be seen in the clothing of the man my father believed tried to rape me. I wanted more than anything to put the garment back on, to inhale the scent of its owner in an attempt to banish some of the loneliness I already felt setting in. Why did you have to do it, Auron? Knowing Father, he'd already be on his way to make sure the lecherous old man (Father couldn't be more wrong!) hadn't done any lasting harm.
Sure enough, Father walked through the open door moments later. He sat down next to me on the bed, puting his arm around me protectively. "Rikku, he didn't hurt you, did he?"
I shook my head, wishing I could explain things to him. "No, not at all. He was actually very gentle...even comforting." That was all I dared to say. Auron had gone to great lengths to spare me from my father's wrath, and playing anything other than the innocent victim would arouse Father's suspicions.
As it was, Father looked at me sternly, though his face was filled with concern for the daughter he still believed to be his little girl. "He tried to take advantage of you, Rikku. He won't do it again, I promise." Father hugged me. "I'm having some of my most trusted men escort him off the ship as soon as we can find a safe landing spot."
"Thank you, Father." It hurt to try to make those words convincing. Father's actions had hurt me more than Auron's harshest words ever had.
I discussed our plans to find and rescue Yuna with Father for quite some time, and got caught up on what I'd missed while away from Home. It had been a long time since we'd talked like this, and I fervently wished it could have happened under better circumstances. When Father was sufficiently reassured of my safety, he left to resume his duties as ship's captain and leader of the Al Bhed. I began to consider what I'd say to the others concerning Auron's...sudden departure.