Can I Come In?
1 Chapter Seven
Lord Voldemort set three of the Death Eaters to searching Hogwarts, and kept the rest, as well as the vampires, stationed around the large hall in which students of the school eat their meals. In the meantime he was turning his baleful gaze upon Spike, who had just stopped reading quietly to himself and Drusilla. Drusilla watched Voldemort intently, the way a cat may watch a particularly interesting mouse.
'You have failed in your end of the deal,' said Voldemort coldly. 'You were to bring the boy here, and hold him fast. And I had thought you were supposedly one of the most infamous vampires still in existence. Explain yourself.'
Spike looked unimpressed. 'Well, for one thing Voldie mate, I did my part bringing you here,' Spike took a pause to light a cigarette, and popped it into the corner of his mouth. 'Secondly, who says I'm not gonna get him here anyway? His dear old auntie hasn't reported back, so I think we'll be seeing sweet ickle Harry soon enough. Then you can paint him blue and hang him on a Christmas tree for all I care. Anyway, you haven't exactly kept up with the deal. I thought there was going to be a lot more death and mayhem. And when are you going to give me that artefact? Since the Ring of Amarra went walkies, I've had a bit of a hankering to see the light of day. Surprise people a little, you know?'
Voldemort scowled. 'Since you have so singularly failed to do what was expected, no doubt mayhem shall follow as the un-surprised teachers and students come to deal with us. And you can have your precious sun-walking ring when I have had my revenge upon Harry Potter. If you perform properly, I might even allow you to serve under me when I conquer the rest of the miserable wizards.'
'Oh, plan for world domination, eh? Haven't seen one of those around for, oh, must be a month or two now. You should visit Sunnydale sometime. You didn't mention no world domination though. I thought this was a simple brutal attack plan, not some grand scam. I'm not a minion. Look under minion in the dictionary, I aint there.'
The air between Spike and Voldemort was practically humming with anger.
***
'Ah,' said Dumbledore, 'Madam Pince, Madame Trewlawney. Might I say you have picked a marvellous place to sit and drink tea?'
Dumbledore had led the group of students and teachers into a large dark room, where they had found the librarian and the Divination teacher resting from earlier traumas. Harry noted with a grimace that the Mirror of Erised was leaning against a far wall. He looked in the opposite direction, not wanting to be caught in the old trap of seeing his parents there. That brought up a lot of painful memories that he tried to keep buried.
Professor Aconite looked in the Mirror of Erised, looked at Dumbledore, and grinned. 'Hey,' she said, 'I guess I've finally beaten the old thing now. All I see is me with a bit less around the waist.'
'Well done,' said Dumbledore, 'but you'd do well not to forget your truer desires. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders after all.'
'I know, I know. Anyway, shouldn't we be finding out where the Death Eaters are?'
'Oh,' came a silken voice, 'that won't be necessary.'
The group looked around. Three Death Eaters had sneaked into the secret passages, and now held wands aimed at their heads.
'You'll be coming with us,' added one unnecessarily.
***
Voldemort stood before the assembled group.
'Ah,' he said, savouring the feel on his impending triumph. 'Dumbledore, and Harry. Two thorns in my side. How sweet it shall feel when I pluck them out and crush you beneath my feet!'
'Ponce,' muttered Spike under his breath.
'Spike?!?' exclaimed Aconite, 'Drusilla? How the hell did you get them to work for you?'
Voldemort was distracted from his reverie. 'They work for me because I am powerful. Who are you to challenge me?'
'Melissa Aconite. Well, Melissa Streale actually, couldn't use my real surname in case people knew who I was and leaked it. Rita Skeeter is a right bitch. You know how it is.'
There was muttering amongst the room now. 'The Augor?' whispered some Death Eaters fearfully. Spike spoke loudly, however: 'The British Slayer?' he roared, 'now this job is looking up!'
Voldemort looked sharply at Spike. 'I alone shall have the pleasure of deciding who dies. You have been quite an annoyance as it is. I am aware of how Wormtail died truly. Voldemort always knows the truth. Avada Kedavra!'
Green light flared, and lashed out at Spike. Spike, however, remained standing. Voldemort looked on in shock. Spike stubbed his cigarette out on the floor. 'I'm already dead, mate. Just as well I didn't want your poxy ring. I already got what I want.'
The other Death Eaters were reaching hurriedly for their wands. Harry Potter and Melissa Streale looked around for opportunities. None just yet.
'Explain yourself,' demanded Voldemort, although some of the confidence was gone from his voice.
Spike almost laughed. 'Oh, so it's time for everyone to explain what they were up to? Must make you feel like it's a bloody Agatha Christie moment. It's always the butler. Except here, where it is the vampire with a big sword and a big book, and let's look at this book for a moment shall we?'
Melissa spotted the book. 'That's mine!' she shouted.
'Not now. Finders keepers sweetheart. I've been looking for this little joy ever since the Master snuffed it in Sunnydale. The Watchers had taken it, and I had bugger all luck finding it until Melissa here asked the Watchers to send it to her. A friendly chap in Harry's home town, who had ties in the mailing services, let me know. Shame he's dead now, didn't seem much point in keeping him around. Not very tasty mind. Me and Dru take a little job from Voldie, who's asking around for someone to take on Hogwarts. It was damn hard enough getting here as it was. We make a few vampires to distract everyone else while we get what we want.'
'And what do you want the book for?' asked Voldemort impatiently.
'Oh, some very nifty spells. You know, day to night and so on. But mostly it's for Dru here. Melissa should know about Dru's little…um…problem…'
'She's mad,' said Melissa, not liking where this was going.
'As a hatter,' added Spike. 'Thanks to good old Angelus. I've been looking after her for a long time now, I got her good and strong after the incident in Europe, and now I'm finally undoing what that bastard did. Or rather, I've already done it. Not a very complex ritual, I just had to read a few words out…'
'And I feel much better,' purred Drusilla.
Voldemort jerked his wand towards Drusilla. 'Infernus!'
Fire leaped from Voldemort's wand, towards Drusilla. Flames cascaded around her as she screamed. Then the flames suddenly flickered out.
'That spell works on even vampires!' shouted Voldemort, 'I have used it a hundred times on those who would not serve.'
Drusilla casually examined her hands, checking her nails. She smiled suddenly, and it was hard to tell if the old madness was truly gone.
'Oh dear,' she said mockingly, 'the poor little wizard hasn't met an old and powerful vampire. Do you know any of my other powers? I can tell what you're thinking. Isn't that a delight?' Drusilla giggled slightly.
'Kill them all!' shouted Voldemort.
'What?' asked Spike, genuinely puzzled, 'don't you know you're supposed to explain your plan in critical detail to everyone before you- oh sod it!' Spike flipped his sword into the air, grabbed at the handle and swung it at the nearest Death Eater. What happened next to the particular Death Eater was not pretty.
'Split up!' shouted Melissa, as the Death Eaters looked their way.
The teachers ducked into the closest secret passageway [it should be noted that the original architect, when presented with the criteria 'one large castle, plenty of secret passage ways' had decided to save much money and planning time by petrifying a castle-shaped lump of Swiss cheese, and then applying many enlarging spells to it. Very few know this, although it would explain a certain amount about the philosophy behind the place], and bolted it shut behind them. By no accident this created a certain amount of fuss and noise, which meant no one was looking when Harry, Marie, Ron and Hermione took the rather more mundane method of running back out through the door they had been ushered through, stamping on the feet of the Death Eaters who flanked them.
Melissa remained in the room, although the Death Eaters were currently less concerned with her than with the small number of extremely psychotic vampires. Melissa took advantage of this by punching the Death Eater to her left, and then spinning around to kick the other Death Eater soundly between the legs. The first went unconscious, but the second merely groaned in extreme pain. This was readily solved by picking up his head and slamming it against the floor.
This left a situation of two old vampires; four new vampires, including Tim; Voldemort; Melissa; and seven Death Eaters. It wasn't looking in anyone's favour in particular, although certainly not Melissa's.
'Fools!' shouted Voldemort, as he leveled his wand at Tim, 'get the children and that fool Dumbledore, and bring them back here while I deal with these miscreants!' He then shouted something, which threw a large bolt of fire towards Tim. Tim just about leapt out of the way, although it caught another vampire squarely in the chest, and turned him to ashes swiftly.
Three Death Eaters blasted apart the covering to the secret passageway, and hurried after the teachers. The leader of the Death Eaters closed in on Melissa, even as three of the surviving Death Eaters leapt past her to get to the children. Melissa ditched her robes, now dressed fully as a Muggle, with the accompanying ease of movement. The Death Eater leader began the death curse, even as Melissa made her own preparations. The Death Eater would have no doubt blasted Melissa into a pile of ashes, if her preparations hadn't involved performing a black flip that kicked the Death Eater's wand into the air.
In the meanwhile, Voldemort was facing off against Spike and Drusilla. Spike was occupying Voldemort's attention by flashing his sword in and out of the dark lord's vision, while Drusilla circled lazily around Voldemort, crooning an old song under her breath. Her demeanour did not seem to have changed much, merely her clarity.
***
'Ah, the library,' muttered Snape. 'Always the place I go when there's an emergency.'
'Well,' said Madam Pince archly, 'that might explain your grades perhaps. I remember what my predecessor said about you! He said that you only came to the library to look at-'
'Your predecessor had the intelligence of a pickled newt, and that insults some of my prized ingredients!'
'Well, I could have told you all that we would end up in this mess,' said Madame Trewlawney smugly.
'Do tell,' said McGonagall icily, 'I would have dearly liked to know this earlier. Perhaps you might like to tell us what the Lottery numbers are next week? No doubt that might defray the cleaning bill.'
Madame Trewlawney scoffed and mumbled, and was about to reply when Dumbledore spoke.
'Now, now, this is not the time to fight amongst ourselves. That can wait until we are less occupied with these troublesome intruders, who are no doubt following us now.'
'Ah yes,' said Snape, 'an excellent point. A group levitation is in order perhaps?'
'Good thinking,' said Dumbledore happily. 'Madam Pince, do you have any objection? This might cause some untidiness.'
'Go ahead,' said Pince somewhat more casually than expected, 'I can't say I ever bothered to keep them in order.'
The others stared at her, shocked by the admission.
'Well for goodness sake,' she said, 'I'm one old woman managing a library that takes up an entire castle wing! What kind of god do you think I am?'
There was a pause.
'Well,' said Dumbledore slowly, 'since there is no…um…impediment, perhaps we should begin before our guests think that we would look good missing our heads.'
The four teachers pointed wands at a bookcase, and brought it to hover above the passage way opening.
'Now, shall we lower it to block entrance, or shall we-' began Madam Pince, but stopped when she saw the three dark-robed figures emerge cockily into the library. The dark-robed figures raised their wands, and green light glowed around the ends.
It was at this point that McGonagall broke the spell's connection to the bookcase. The Death Eaters had approximately enough time to look up before they became substantially flatter.
'So,' said Madame Trewlawney, with a quivering voice, 'how much do we need to defray the costs by?'
***
The three Death Eaters following the children felt happier with their lot, knowing that they were chasing fledgling wizards and witches, not the practised magic users of the teaching department. The fact that these kids ran fast didn't matter, they would catch up soon enough. Besides, they knew for a fact that the blind idiots were running towards Dumbledore's office, and the corridors didn't go very far past there.
They rounded the corridor, and it should be no surprise that the first thing they noticed wasn't the children. It was the large half-gargoyle that was looming over them, and grinning maliciously.
'Yuck,' said Hermione.
***
The leader of the Death Eater group looked very worried, when his wand was lying ten feet from him, whilst his leader fought against the vampires. Voldemort had meanwhile turned another of the muggle-vampires into ash, but still left himself outnumbered, even as Spike and Drusilla toyed with him.
'Go for your wand,' said Melissa, 'you can have a second chance.'
The Death Eater leapt for the wand, only to fall unconscious as Melissa quickly threw a fist into the side of his head.
'Bloody moron,' muttered Melissa, 'like I'd give the twat his wand back.'
***
'About time we finished this, eh?' said Spike, at the other side of the room.
Drusilla just smiled, and took a few quick steps, causing Voldemort to whirl on her. This was the cue for Tim and the remaining muggle-vampire to leap at Voldemort. Voldemort sent a blaze of fire at the muggle-vampire, which crisped it immediately, before Tim bowled Voldemort to the floor. Tim laughed in triumph, but froze halfway through his laugh. There was Voldemort's wand, sticking into his chest. It hurt. Then he realised that he hadn't turned to dust yet, although this kept him busy thinking, as Voldemort removed his wand, and said a word that threw Tim halfway across the room.
Melissa joined the fray at this point. Vampires, and Voldemort. She wasn't entirely sure who she was supposed to kill first, so she chose randomly. She waved her wand, and conjured up a gleaming silver sword, which fell softly into her hand.
Spike saw this, and shouted, 'Dru, take care of the man in a dress, I'm going to add to my total of dead Slayers. Who'll laugh when they hear I've killed another one?'
Drusilla laughed, 'go on then my love, kill another little pretty, this one can be enough for me to sing myself to sleep with.'
Interesting definition of 'sane' thought Melissa. Then she swung up her sword to parry a blow from Spike. He drew close to her, keeping her sword held up.
'You are going to make this interesting, I hope? Nothing worse then a boring kill,' Spike growled. His face furrowed, and became the bat-like visage of the vampire's true face.
'Me be interesting,' shot back Melissa accusingly, 'do you have any idea how stale it gets when the twentieth vampire says something casually threatening while they go all "grrr!!!" on you?'
Spike paused. 'Actually, you got a point there,' he conceded.
Melissa skipped back, span in a rapid circle, and swung her sword at Spike's unprotected side. Spike quickly swung his sword in a 180º arc behind him, catching Melissa's swing, and then twisted his stance to get a more comfortable position. With the momentum gained from the twist, he thrust his sword and forced Melissa to back away again.
***
Voldemort, in the meantime, was keeping Drusilla at a distance by causing short bursts of flame to emit from his wand. Although she seemed somehow able to dissipate his spell, she was forced to draw back by sheer instinct when short bursts occurred. Her face was now feral and vicious, although she still managed to maintain a calm image of serenity. Tim struggled up from where he had landed, and ran from the room.
'Such cowardly vampires you have made!' laughed Voldemort, 'and now you shall die!' and with that he conjured up a mass of swirling blades that began to sweep at Drusilla, and forming a wall between her and Voldemort. Barely an inch seemed to exist between blades, and they began to advance upon her.
***
Spike and Melissa were now giving up on slow measured sweeps of their blades. Now the swords clashed around like a savage ballet dance. First Spike would swing over head, and Melissa would sweep her sword around to block it, and then her own blade would suddenly dart below Spike's guard, forcing him to withdraw his sword to block the attack. They whirled around each other, their arms pin-wheeling in order to keep up, and to try to find an opening.
Spike saw such an opening, and lunged. Melissa pulled her sword up to block, but it was too late to prevent the blow. She was barely luck to avoid being decapitated, but a cut appeared on her cheek, which began to freely bleed.
'First blood,' laughed Spike. 'That's a start at least.'
Melissa responded with a slash to Spike's own cheek. The cut disappeared instantly, not bleeding for a second.
'I think this isn't going to hold my interest for long,' said Spike sadly.
***
Drusilla backed slowly away from the advancing blades, her face showing mortal fear. Voldemort laughed softly in satisfaction. Then Drusilla stopped walking backwards, and smiled slyly. Voldemort stopped laughing, and began to cast a new spell.
'Too slow,' laughed Drusilla, in an exultant tone. She became a blur as she pirouetted and span, dancing on one foot at a time, skipping amongst the blades, and emerging unscathed upon the other side, in less time then it would have taken a mortal man to draw a breath. Voldemort did not have time to finish his spell, as Drusilla gripped his throat savagely, and lifted him far above the ground, showing a strength that was unexpected in what looked like a young and slightly built woman.
***
Dumbledore was running as fast as he could at his age, hurrying through the secret passage ways. McGonagall and Snape followed him.
'Don't you think our little 'professor' can take care of herself?' asked Snape sarcastically.
'I think she could ordinarily,' said Dumbledore with a slight wheeze, 'but these are very severe circumstances.'
This was shown to be very much the case when they emerged once more into the hall.
***
'I wonder what it would be like to taste the blood of a deluded mortal, who thinks himself immortal? I wonder indeed, yes,' whispered Drusilla to Voldemort. Her eyes pierced his, filling his mind with utter dread that he had never felt before. He could think of nothing but the malicious power in those eyes, and was powerless to so much as raise his wand arm. He made a small noise in the back of his throat.
***
Spike had dealt several more cuts to Melissa. Her free arm was bleeding slightly, and he had cut her left leg more severely, leaving her limping, and struggling to parry his blows, which were coming less often now. Melissa could tell that Spike was toying with her, before he dealt the final blow. No-one ever asked to be a Slayer…no-one ever asked for an end like this, to die at the hands of a creature that was like nothing so much as a powerful and demonic cat in human guise.
'Back!' shouted Dumbledore, having emerged into the hall. He seemed taller than usual, bolder, less aged, and, in short, more powerful. His eyes blazed with a certain fury, which was equalled by the fury emanating from McGonagall and Snape.
'Oh piss off,' snapped Spike, holding his sword ready for a killing blow.
Dumbledore remained standing tall and prominent, his wand now pointing at Spike, although no-one had noticed him move.
'You can leave now, with what you have gained,' said Dumbledore slowly, 'or you can suffer my severest displeasure. There is a reason that Hogwarts has long been a safe haven from those who follow the Dark Arts.'
Spike looked at Dumbledore, and saw the determination, and also sensed a deal of un-tested power. He lowered the blade.
'Fine,' he said testily, 'I've got forever haven't I?' he looked at Melissa, 'another time then, without your friends. Until then, you get a reprieve. Where's your manners? You should say 'thank you' little lady. Fine, be like that. Dru! We're going!'
Drusilla looked away from Voldemort, 'but I was having such a good time,' she said plaintively.
'Yeah well,' said Spike angrily, 'show's over. Bag your treat, and let's go.'
'I think not,' said Voldemort coolly, despite his previous terror, and twisted from Drusilla's grip like a snake. He seemed to fade and twist into the shadows, and his footsteps echoed down the halls.
Drusilla looked disappointed. And then she brightened. 'We should be somewhere else my love. There's nothing more to be done here, by us. Let's go.' Spike took her hand, and she lead him from the hall, using a different corridor to the one that Voldemort had seemed to take.
Dumbledore looked down at Melissa. 'Let's get you to the hospital wing. Snape, McGonagall, please go and wake up Madam Pomfrey, although I am sure she could do with some sleep, she will be needed to tend to these wounds. Can you walk alone, Melissa?'
'Sure,' she said, sounding not very sure at all, and sounding very tired, 'but I don't think I can stand for too long.'
'In that case,' said Dumbledore, 'let us Apparate to the hospital wing before I get to the business of restoring old wards.'
And they disappeared.
***
Voldemort roamed amongst the shadows. He wasn't going to leave just yet. Not him, immortal Voldemort. Let everyone assume that he would Apparate away. Then he would strike at leisure and…aah…
Voldemort saw Tim, one of the vampires who had been supposed to serve his interests, but had rebelled. Well, let the first revenge begin here, there would be time for Spike and Drusilla, and perhaps the vampires who had made them also…but he got ahead of himself.
'Hello again, friend' said Voldemort ironically. Tim span around. It seemed he had been trying to get into the Divination Tower, looking for a place to sleep before sun-rise no doubt.
Tim leapt at Voldemort, no doubt hoping to sate his thirst, and to kill his enemy. Tim didn't even complete the leap, as Voldemort sent a bolt of fire towards Tim. Tim crackled and burned up on the floor, and took a few minutes to turn completely to ash.
Voldemort smiled mirthlessly. That was the best thing that had happened this night. He could feel he was back in control again.
But Tim had had a good idea nonetheless. Hopefully the Death Eaters had managed to kill some of the others (he hadn't seen the children return, nor two of the teachers, so perhaps they had been slain by his Death Eaters? Before they were themselves destroyed, as they no doubt had been). This might mean that it would be some time before any state of normality returned, so a class room would be as good a place as any. And since he was here…
Voldemort opened the trap door to the Divination tower, already hatching his plans to destroy Dumbledore, the vampires, and the wretched Harry Potter boy, who had interrupted his dark reign in the first place…
His thoughts were rudely interrupted when several hundred gallons of hot (and drugged, although this made little difference to Voldemort) tea cascaded over Voldemort, washing him away, and throwing him into many solid objects, and scraping him along the stone walls in a torrent flood that went on for some time.
By the time that Madame Trewlawney remembered her enchantment upon her favourite tea cup, once she heard the gushing noise from far away in the library, Voldemort was very definitely dead. This caused a largely unanimous response in the magic community when it was announced the following week, although there were some researchers who had minor nervous fits trying to work out how tea could undo immortality.
After the ordeal, it was largely a case of everyone having to deal with the situation.
1 Chapter Seven
Lord Voldemort set three of the Death Eaters to searching Hogwarts, and kept the rest, as well as the vampires, stationed around the large hall in which students of the school eat their meals. In the meantime he was turning his baleful gaze upon Spike, who had just stopped reading quietly to himself and Drusilla. Drusilla watched Voldemort intently, the way a cat may watch a particularly interesting mouse.
'You have failed in your end of the deal,' said Voldemort coldly. 'You were to bring the boy here, and hold him fast. And I had thought you were supposedly one of the most infamous vampires still in existence. Explain yourself.'
Spike looked unimpressed. 'Well, for one thing Voldie mate, I did my part bringing you here,' Spike took a pause to light a cigarette, and popped it into the corner of his mouth. 'Secondly, who says I'm not gonna get him here anyway? His dear old auntie hasn't reported back, so I think we'll be seeing sweet ickle Harry soon enough. Then you can paint him blue and hang him on a Christmas tree for all I care. Anyway, you haven't exactly kept up with the deal. I thought there was going to be a lot more death and mayhem. And when are you going to give me that artefact? Since the Ring of Amarra went walkies, I've had a bit of a hankering to see the light of day. Surprise people a little, you know?'
Voldemort scowled. 'Since you have so singularly failed to do what was expected, no doubt mayhem shall follow as the un-surprised teachers and students come to deal with us. And you can have your precious sun-walking ring when I have had my revenge upon Harry Potter. If you perform properly, I might even allow you to serve under me when I conquer the rest of the miserable wizards.'
'Oh, plan for world domination, eh? Haven't seen one of those around for, oh, must be a month or two now. You should visit Sunnydale sometime. You didn't mention no world domination though. I thought this was a simple brutal attack plan, not some grand scam. I'm not a minion. Look under minion in the dictionary, I aint there.'
The air between Spike and Voldemort was practically humming with anger.
***
'Ah,' said Dumbledore, 'Madam Pince, Madame Trewlawney. Might I say you have picked a marvellous place to sit and drink tea?'
Dumbledore had led the group of students and teachers into a large dark room, where they had found the librarian and the Divination teacher resting from earlier traumas. Harry noted with a grimace that the Mirror of Erised was leaning against a far wall. He looked in the opposite direction, not wanting to be caught in the old trap of seeing his parents there. That brought up a lot of painful memories that he tried to keep buried.
Professor Aconite looked in the Mirror of Erised, looked at Dumbledore, and grinned. 'Hey,' she said, 'I guess I've finally beaten the old thing now. All I see is me with a bit less around the waist.'
'Well done,' said Dumbledore, 'but you'd do well not to forget your truer desires. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders after all.'
'I know, I know. Anyway, shouldn't we be finding out where the Death Eaters are?'
'Oh,' came a silken voice, 'that won't be necessary.'
The group looked around. Three Death Eaters had sneaked into the secret passages, and now held wands aimed at their heads.
'You'll be coming with us,' added one unnecessarily.
***
Voldemort stood before the assembled group.
'Ah,' he said, savouring the feel on his impending triumph. 'Dumbledore, and Harry. Two thorns in my side. How sweet it shall feel when I pluck them out and crush you beneath my feet!'
'Ponce,' muttered Spike under his breath.
'Spike?!?' exclaimed Aconite, 'Drusilla? How the hell did you get them to work for you?'
Voldemort was distracted from his reverie. 'They work for me because I am powerful. Who are you to challenge me?'
'Melissa Aconite. Well, Melissa Streale actually, couldn't use my real surname in case people knew who I was and leaked it. Rita Skeeter is a right bitch. You know how it is.'
There was muttering amongst the room now. 'The Augor?' whispered some Death Eaters fearfully. Spike spoke loudly, however: 'The British Slayer?' he roared, 'now this job is looking up!'
Voldemort looked sharply at Spike. 'I alone shall have the pleasure of deciding who dies. You have been quite an annoyance as it is. I am aware of how Wormtail died truly. Voldemort always knows the truth. Avada Kedavra!'
Green light flared, and lashed out at Spike. Spike, however, remained standing. Voldemort looked on in shock. Spike stubbed his cigarette out on the floor. 'I'm already dead, mate. Just as well I didn't want your poxy ring. I already got what I want.'
The other Death Eaters were reaching hurriedly for their wands. Harry Potter and Melissa Streale looked around for opportunities. None just yet.
'Explain yourself,' demanded Voldemort, although some of the confidence was gone from his voice.
Spike almost laughed. 'Oh, so it's time for everyone to explain what they were up to? Must make you feel like it's a bloody Agatha Christie moment. It's always the butler. Except here, where it is the vampire with a big sword and a big book, and let's look at this book for a moment shall we?'
Melissa spotted the book. 'That's mine!' she shouted.
'Not now. Finders keepers sweetheart. I've been looking for this little joy ever since the Master snuffed it in Sunnydale. The Watchers had taken it, and I had bugger all luck finding it until Melissa here asked the Watchers to send it to her. A friendly chap in Harry's home town, who had ties in the mailing services, let me know. Shame he's dead now, didn't seem much point in keeping him around. Not very tasty mind. Me and Dru take a little job from Voldie, who's asking around for someone to take on Hogwarts. It was damn hard enough getting here as it was. We make a few vampires to distract everyone else while we get what we want.'
'And what do you want the book for?' asked Voldemort impatiently.
'Oh, some very nifty spells. You know, day to night and so on. But mostly it's for Dru here. Melissa should know about Dru's little…um…problem…'
'She's mad,' said Melissa, not liking where this was going.
'As a hatter,' added Spike. 'Thanks to good old Angelus. I've been looking after her for a long time now, I got her good and strong after the incident in Europe, and now I'm finally undoing what that bastard did. Or rather, I've already done it. Not a very complex ritual, I just had to read a few words out…'
'And I feel much better,' purred Drusilla.
Voldemort jerked his wand towards Drusilla. 'Infernus!'
Fire leaped from Voldemort's wand, towards Drusilla. Flames cascaded around her as she screamed. Then the flames suddenly flickered out.
'That spell works on even vampires!' shouted Voldemort, 'I have used it a hundred times on those who would not serve.'
Drusilla casually examined her hands, checking her nails. She smiled suddenly, and it was hard to tell if the old madness was truly gone.
'Oh dear,' she said mockingly, 'the poor little wizard hasn't met an old and powerful vampire. Do you know any of my other powers? I can tell what you're thinking. Isn't that a delight?' Drusilla giggled slightly.
'Kill them all!' shouted Voldemort.
'What?' asked Spike, genuinely puzzled, 'don't you know you're supposed to explain your plan in critical detail to everyone before you- oh sod it!' Spike flipped his sword into the air, grabbed at the handle and swung it at the nearest Death Eater. What happened next to the particular Death Eater was not pretty.
'Split up!' shouted Melissa, as the Death Eaters looked their way.
The teachers ducked into the closest secret passageway [it should be noted that the original architect, when presented with the criteria 'one large castle, plenty of secret passage ways' had decided to save much money and planning time by petrifying a castle-shaped lump of Swiss cheese, and then applying many enlarging spells to it. Very few know this, although it would explain a certain amount about the philosophy behind the place], and bolted it shut behind them. By no accident this created a certain amount of fuss and noise, which meant no one was looking when Harry, Marie, Ron and Hermione took the rather more mundane method of running back out through the door they had been ushered through, stamping on the feet of the Death Eaters who flanked them.
Melissa remained in the room, although the Death Eaters were currently less concerned with her than with the small number of extremely psychotic vampires. Melissa took advantage of this by punching the Death Eater to her left, and then spinning around to kick the other Death Eater soundly between the legs. The first went unconscious, but the second merely groaned in extreme pain. This was readily solved by picking up his head and slamming it against the floor.
This left a situation of two old vampires; four new vampires, including Tim; Voldemort; Melissa; and seven Death Eaters. It wasn't looking in anyone's favour in particular, although certainly not Melissa's.
'Fools!' shouted Voldemort, as he leveled his wand at Tim, 'get the children and that fool Dumbledore, and bring them back here while I deal with these miscreants!' He then shouted something, which threw a large bolt of fire towards Tim. Tim just about leapt out of the way, although it caught another vampire squarely in the chest, and turned him to ashes swiftly.
Three Death Eaters blasted apart the covering to the secret passageway, and hurried after the teachers. The leader of the Death Eaters closed in on Melissa, even as three of the surviving Death Eaters leapt past her to get to the children. Melissa ditched her robes, now dressed fully as a Muggle, with the accompanying ease of movement. The Death Eater leader began the death curse, even as Melissa made her own preparations. The Death Eater would have no doubt blasted Melissa into a pile of ashes, if her preparations hadn't involved performing a black flip that kicked the Death Eater's wand into the air.
In the meanwhile, Voldemort was facing off against Spike and Drusilla. Spike was occupying Voldemort's attention by flashing his sword in and out of the dark lord's vision, while Drusilla circled lazily around Voldemort, crooning an old song under her breath. Her demeanour did not seem to have changed much, merely her clarity.
***
'Ah, the library,' muttered Snape. 'Always the place I go when there's an emergency.'
'Well,' said Madam Pince archly, 'that might explain your grades perhaps. I remember what my predecessor said about you! He said that you only came to the library to look at-'
'Your predecessor had the intelligence of a pickled newt, and that insults some of my prized ingredients!'
'Well, I could have told you all that we would end up in this mess,' said Madame Trewlawney smugly.
'Do tell,' said McGonagall icily, 'I would have dearly liked to know this earlier. Perhaps you might like to tell us what the Lottery numbers are next week? No doubt that might defray the cleaning bill.'
Madame Trewlawney scoffed and mumbled, and was about to reply when Dumbledore spoke.
'Now, now, this is not the time to fight amongst ourselves. That can wait until we are less occupied with these troublesome intruders, who are no doubt following us now.'
'Ah yes,' said Snape, 'an excellent point. A group levitation is in order perhaps?'
'Good thinking,' said Dumbledore happily. 'Madam Pince, do you have any objection? This might cause some untidiness.'
'Go ahead,' said Pince somewhat more casually than expected, 'I can't say I ever bothered to keep them in order.'
The others stared at her, shocked by the admission.
'Well for goodness sake,' she said, 'I'm one old woman managing a library that takes up an entire castle wing! What kind of god do you think I am?'
There was a pause.
'Well,' said Dumbledore slowly, 'since there is no…um…impediment, perhaps we should begin before our guests think that we would look good missing our heads.'
The four teachers pointed wands at a bookcase, and brought it to hover above the passage way opening.
'Now, shall we lower it to block entrance, or shall we-' began Madam Pince, but stopped when she saw the three dark-robed figures emerge cockily into the library. The dark-robed figures raised their wands, and green light glowed around the ends.
It was at this point that McGonagall broke the spell's connection to the bookcase. The Death Eaters had approximately enough time to look up before they became substantially flatter.
'So,' said Madame Trewlawney, with a quivering voice, 'how much do we need to defray the costs by?'
***
The three Death Eaters following the children felt happier with their lot, knowing that they were chasing fledgling wizards and witches, not the practised magic users of the teaching department. The fact that these kids ran fast didn't matter, they would catch up soon enough. Besides, they knew for a fact that the blind idiots were running towards Dumbledore's office, and the corridors didn't go very far past there.
They rounded the corridor, and it should be no surprise that the first thing they noticed wasn't the children. It was the large half-gargoyle that was looming over them, and grinning maliciously.
'Yuck,' said Hermione.
***
The leader of the Death Eater group looked very worried, when his wand was lying ten feet from him, whilst his leader fought against the vampires. Voldemort had meanwhile turned another of the muggle-vampires into ash, but still left himself outnumbered, even as Spike and Drusilla toyed with him.
'Go for your wand,' said Melissa, 'you can have a second chance.'
The Death Eater leapt for the wand, only to fall unconscious as Melissa quickly threw a fist into the side of his head.
'Bloody moron,' muttered Melissa, 'like I'd give the twat his wand back.'
***
'About time we finished this, eh?' said Spike, at the other side of the room.
Drusilla just smiled, and took a few quick steps, causing Voldemort to whirl on her. This was the cue for Tim and the remaining muggle-vampire to leap at Voldemort. Voldemort sent a blaze of fire at the muggle-vampire, which crisped it immediately, before Tim bowled Voldemort to the floor. Tim laughed in triumph, but froze halfway through his laugh. There was Voldemort's wand, sticking into his chest. It hurt. Then he realised that he hadn't turned to dust yet, although this kept him busy thinking, as Voldemort removed his wand, and said a word that threw Tim halfway across the room.
Melissa joined the fray at this point. Vampires, and Voldemort. She wasn't entirely sure who she was supposed to kill first, so she chose randomly. She waved her wand, and conjured up a gleaming silver sword, which fell softly into her hand.
Spike saw this, and shouted, 'Dru, take care of the man in a dress, I'm going to add to my total of dead Slayers. Who'll laugh when they hear I've killed another one?'
Drusilla laughed, 'go on then my love, kill another little pretty, this one can be enough for me to sing myself to sleep with.'
Interesting definition of 'sane' thought Melissa. Then she swung up her sword to parry a blow from Spike. He drew close to her, keeping her sword held up.
'You are going to make this interesting, I hope? Nothing worse then a boring kill,' Spike growled. His face furrowed, and became the bat-like visage of the vampire's true face.
'Me be interesting,' shot back Melissa accusingly, 'do you have any idea how stale it gets when the twentieth vampire says something casually threatening while they go all "grrr!!!" on you?'
Spike paused. 'Actually, you got a point there,' he conceded.
Melissa skipped back, span in a rapid circle, and swung her sword at Spike's unprotected side. Spike quickly swung his sword in a 180º arc behind him, catching Melissa's swing, and then twisted his stance to get a more comfortable position. With the momentum gained from the twist, he thrust his sword and forced Melissa to back away again.
***
Voldemort, in the meantime, was keeping Drusilla at a distance by causing short bursts of flame to emit from his wand. Although she seemed somehow able to dissipate his spell, she was forced to draw back by sheer instinct when short bursts occurred. Her face was now feral and vicious, although she still managed to maintain a calm image of serenity. Tim struggled up from where he had landed, and ran from the room.
'Such cowardly vampires you have made!' laughed Voldemort, 'and now you shall die!' and with that he conjured up a mass of swirling blades that began to sweep at Drusilla, and forming a wall between her and Voldemort. Barely an inch seemed to exist between blades, and they began to advance upon her.
***
Spike and Melissa were now giving up on slow measured sweeps of their blades. Now the swords clashed around like a savage ballet dance. First Spike would swing over head, and Melissa would sweep her sword around to block it, and then her own blade would suddenly dart below Spike's guard, forcing him to withdraw his sword to block the attack. They whirled around each other, their arms pin-wheeling in order to keep up, and to try to find an opening.
Spike saw such an opening, and lunged. Melissa pulled her sword up to block, but it was too late to prevent the blow. She was barely luck to avoid being decapitated, but a cut appeared on her cheek, which began to freely bleed.
'First blood,' laughed Spike. 'That's a start at least.'
Melissa responded with a slash to Spike's own cheek. The cut disappeared instantly, not bleeding for a second.
'I think this isn't going to hold my interest for long,' said Spike sadly.
***
Drusilla backed slowly away from the advancing blades, her face showing mortal fear. Voldemort laughed softly in satisfaction. Then Drusilla stopped walking backwards, and smiled slyly. Voldemort stopped laughing, and began to cast a new spell.
'Too slow,' laughed Drusilla, in an exultant tone. She became a blur as she pirouetted and span, dancing on one foot at a time, skipping amongst the blades, and emerging unscathed upon the other side, in less time then it would have taken a mortal man to draw a breath. Voldemort did not have time to finish his spell, as Drusilla gripped his throat savagely, and lifted him far above the ground, showing a strength that was unexpected in what looked like a young and slightly built woman.
***
Dumbledore was running as fast as he could at his age, hurrying through the secret passage ways. McGonagall and Snape followed him.
'Don't you think our little 'professor' can take care of herself?' asked Snape sarcastically.
'I think she could ordinarily,' said Dumbledore with a slight wheeze, 'but these are very severe circumstances.'
This was shown to be very much the case when they emerged once more into the hall.
***
'I wonder what it would be like to taste the blood of a deluded mortal, who thinks himself immortal? I wonder indeed, yes,' whispered Drusilla to Voldemort. Her eyes pierced his, filling his mind with utter dread that he had never felt before. He could think of nothing but the malicious power in those eyes, and was powerless to so much as raise his wand arm. He made a small noise in the back of his throat.
***
Spike had dealt several more cuts to Melissa. Her free arm was bleeding slightly, and he had cut her left leg more severely, leaving her limping, and struggling to parry his blows, which were coming less often now. Melissa could tell that Spike was toying with her, before he dealt the final blow. No-one ever asked to be a Slayer…no-one ever asked for an end like this, to die at the hands of a creature that was like nothing so much as a powerful and demonic cat in human guise.
'Back!' shouted Dumbledore, having emerged into the hall. He seemed taller than usual, bolder, less aged, and, in short, more powerful. His eyes blazed with a certain fury, which was equalled by the fury emanating from McGonagall and Snape.
'Oh piss off,' snapped Spike, holding his sword ready for a killing blow.
Dumbledore remained standing tall and prominent, his wand now pointing at Spike, although no-one had noticed him move.
'You can leave now, with what you have gained,' said Dumbledore slowly, 'or you can suffer my severest displeasure. There is a reason that Hogwarts has long been a safe haven from those who follow the Dark Arts.'
Spike looked at Dumbledore, and saw the determination, and also sensed a deal of un-tested power. He lowered the blade.
'Fine,' he said testily, 'I've got forever haven't I?' he looked at Melissa, 'another time then, without your friends. Until then, you get a reprieve. Where's your manners? You should say 'thank you' little lady. Fine, be like that. Dru! We're going!'
Drusilla looked away from Voldemort, 'but I was having such a good time,' she said plaintively.
'Yeah well,' said Spike angrily, 'show's over. Bag your treat, and let's go.'
'I think not,' said Voldemort coolly, despite his previous terror, and twisted from Drusilla's grip like a snake. He seemed to fade and twist into the shadows, and his footsteps echoed down the halls.
Drusilla looked disappointed. And then she brightened. 'We should be somewhere else my love. There's nothing more to be done here, by us. Let's go.' Spike took her hand, and she lead him from the hall, using a different corridor to the one that Voldemort had seemed to take.
Dumbledore looked down at Melissa. 'Let's get you to the hospital wing. Snape, McGonagall, please go and wake up Madam Pomfrey, although I am sure she could do with some sleep, she will be needed to tend to these wounds. Can you walk alone, Melissa?'
'Sure,' she said, sounding not very sure at all, and sounding very tired, 'but I don't think I can stand for too long.'
'In that case,' said Dumbledore, 'let us Apparate to the hospital wing before I get to the business of restoring old wards.'
And they disappeared.
***
Voldemort roamed amongst the shadows. He wasn't going to leave just yet. Not him, immortal Voldemort. Let everyone assume that he would Apparate away. Then he would strike at leisure and…aah…
Voldemort saw Tim, one of the vampires who had been supposed to serve his interests, but had rebelled. Well, let the first revenge begin here, there would be time for Spike and Drusilla, and perhaps the vampires who had made them also…but he got ahead of himself.
'Hello again, friend' said Voldemort ironically. Tim span around. It seemed he had been trying to get into the Divination Tower, looking for a place to sleep before sun-rise no doubt.
Tim leapt at Voldemort, no doubt hoping to sate his thirst, and to kill his enemy. Tim didn't even complete the leap, as Voldemort sent a bolt of fire towards Tim. Tim crackled and burned up on the floor, and took a few minutes to turn completely to ash.
Voldemort smiled mirthlessly. That was the best thing that had happened this night. He could feel he was back in control again.
But Tim had had a good idea nonetheless. Hopefully the Death Eaters had managed to kill some of the others (he hadn't seen the children return, nor two of the teachers, so perhaps they had been slain by his Death Eaters? Before they were themselves destroyed, as they no doubt had been). This might mean that it would be some time before any state of normality returned, so a class room would be as good a place as any. And since he was here…
Voldemort opened the trap door to the Divination tower, already hatching his plans to destroy Dumbledore, the vampires, and the wretched Harry Potter boy, who had interrupted his dark reign in the first place…
His thoughts were rudely interrupted when several hundred gallons of hot (and drugged, although this made little difference to Voldemort) tea cascaded over Voldemort, washing him away, and throwing him into many solid objects, and scraping him along the stone walls in a torrent flood that went on for some time.
By the time that Madame Trewlawney remembered her enchantment upon her favourite tea cup, once she heard the gushing noise from far away in the library, Voldemort was very definitely dead. This caused a largely unanimous response in the magic community when it was announced the following week, although there were some researchers who had minor nervous fits trying to work out how tea could undo immortality.
After the ordeal, it was largely a case of everyone having to deal with the situation.