None of the recognizable characters are mine. However, two of the
characters are mine. I will elaborate on these two so everyone gets the
idea of who and what they are.
Loki: Not the Norse God, and also not the guy from Dogma. Any Matt Damon references will get you hurt. Loki is one of the most powerful beings in existence, and also one of the last people who should be. He is a mage of the highest caliber, but doesn't take his ability seriously. In terms of pure power potential, he is unmatched, but lacks focus and has never really learned how to use his abilities properly. So he doesn't use them very often, for the risk of great destruction is highly prevalent every time he does. Loki epitomizes the Chaotic Neutral alignment. He does what he pleases, and has a moral code when he feels like having one. Despite this, he is not a bad person. He does have limits and things that he won't do.
Loki's supreme attribute is his keen mind. He is highly cunning, and can turn almost anything to work for his advantage. His biggest flaw is his hedonism. Loki has very low willpower and is easily distracted, which can lead to hugely disastrous results. Loki loves the ladies, and his dashing good looks and striking fashion sense help him a great deal.
Philo Stone: Loki's archfoe, but doesn't know it. Stone is Captain America, Doc Savage, Superman, and every other squeaky-clean superhero rolled into one. He does everything perfectly and with minimal effort, which drives Loki nuts, who is usually left looking like a fool by comparison. Stone is highly practical, and has no illusions about his abilities, which are in fact superhuman. While Loki is immersed in magic, Stone is surrounded by technology. Stone does not believe in magic, and this seems to sustain a null-magic field around him that neutralizes any magical activity. So anything Loki tries to do usually fails. This is why Loki hates Stone. He shows Loki up without even trying. He makes his way as a professional adventurer, doing just about everything one could think of, from recovering ancient Mayan artifacts to battling super-villain syndicates. He always seems to show up when Loki is around, and always at the last time when Loki wants him there. The worst thing is that Stone actually resembles Loki fairly strongly, so Loki gets mugged for autographs, photos, and the occasional mob assault squad out for Stone's head.
THE CASE OF THE PHLATULENT PHANTOM
(Section 1)
-Open on Possum Swamp. It is dark, smelly, and noisy. Croaking, buzzing, and chirping abound. The gnarled, twisted branches reach out in a skeleton of wood under the canopy of leaves. An unidentifiable green glow can be seen from far into the swamp.
-Cut to inside of Mystery Machine. Fred is driving; Daphne is sitting next to him. Velma is leaning against the passenger door as far from them as she can be.
Fred: So Velma, tell me again about this cousin Harold we're going to see.
Velma: He lives at Possum Lodge. My uncle sent him to live with the other uncle no one talks about. He said something about them deserving each other. The lodge is pretty deep into the swamp. (She stops; a surprised look crosses her face) At this rate, we'll be there in no time.
F: (Also surprised) You're right. It looks like we'll get to the lodge on schedule. This road is so smooth; it looks as if it was redone yesterday. There's no way we could blow a tire on it. And there have been gas stations every two miles. Funny thing, they all had signs reading "Just Opened". And all the roads except for this one have been closed. They all look fine to me.
Daphne: And the road is really smooth!
-V looks at D with confusion.
V: Right, Daphne. Not only was that painfully obvious, but Fred already said it.
D: He did?
-The Mystery Machine drives past another "Road Closed" sign and off screen. A blue Lamborghini Diablo smashes through the sign. Loki steps out and looks at sign. His long black hair is hanging past his finely shaped face. His long black leather coat wraps him in shadow. He looks back down the road.
Loki: Road closed? This road is just fine. Weird.
-He continues on. He drives by the swamp.
L: Ahh.Possum Swamp! Home of the most potent marijuana ever grown. Somewhere in that soggy, wet, trickling.AH MAN!!
-L pulls off road and urinates in bushes. While pissing, L hears farting noises.
L: Hmm.must be swamp gas.
-The noises are growing nearer, and are right behind L.
L: (Turning around) Huh?
-The Phlatulent Phantom is standing there. He is giving off a green glow, and looks like a decaying zombie covered in swamp muck. He is standing in a threatening pose, waving his arms over his head.
Phantom: Boogy boogy.(looks down to see Loki pissing on his leg) AH SHIT!
-Phantom runs off. L finishes urinating.
L: That was odd. Never seen a ghost wearing knee-high galoshes before. (Sees the green glow emanating from the swamp) Ooo Pretty!
-L vanishes into swamp.
-Cut back to Mystery Machine. Velma is looking out the window of the van. Velma is leaning on Fred's shoulder. The van stops.
V: (Still looking out window) Don't tell me. Despite all the perfect conditions and linear path, you still managed to get us lost, didn't you?
F: (Shamefully) Yeah.
D: I think we're lost.
V: I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. So, what are our options, Fred?
F: We seem to be at a fork in the road. (Looking at the four possible paths) That way leads to an abandoned amusement park, that leads an abandoned casino, that way leads to an empty air field, and that way goes to an old spooky house.
V: How fantastic. Shaggy! Scooby!
-Shaggy and Scooby pop up from the back of the van. Both look very ragged, tired, and grumpy.
Sh: Like, are we there yet? I need to.(Shaggy stops talking, and looks as if he's about to vomit.)
Sc: Raggy!
Sh: (Clutching at his throat) Zoiks! Like, what's going on? My voooooooo.(his squeaky voice drops several octaves. He now sounds like Jack Nicholson) Whoa, I forgot what my real voice sounded like. I must be coming down. My head's clearing up. We have to get to that lodge fast!
V: (Not caring) Looks like Fred got us lost.
Sh: Yeah? So what's new about that? That's Number One on my checklist.
F: What checklist?
Sh: That's Number Two. Fred asks a stupid question.
D: What stupid question?
Sh: Number Three. Daphne says something that makes Fred look semi- intelligent.
V: Then what's Number Four?
Sh: Appearance of Celebrity Guest Star.
-Loki emerges from swamp behind van. He is completely stoned and surrounded with smoke, and faintly glowing green. No one sees him. He cheers, "Free Weed!" and stumbles off.
V: (Growing impatient) I don't see any Celebrity Guest Star. Now Shaggy, Scooby, we're lost. We need you two to go find some help.
Sh: And what are you three going to do?
V: We're going to stay here with the van.
Sc: Rhy rould re ro rit?
V: Why should you do it? You two always go find help.
Sh: That's Number Five. What's in it for us? I'm not about to do something dumb just 'cause you ask, Velma.
V: I'll give you both a treat.
Sh: It better be good. My taste buds are starting to regain sensation.
-V produces box of Scooby Snacks.
Sh: Why are you trying to bribe me with fuckin' dog biscuits?
Loki: Not the Norse God, and also not the guy from Dogma. Any Matt Damon references will get you hurt. Loki is one of the most powerful beings in existence, and also one of the last people who should be. He is a mage of the highest caliber, but doesn't take his ability seriously. In terms of pure power potential, he is unmatched, but lacks focus and has never really learned how to use his abilities properly. So he doesn't use them very often, for the risk of great destruction is highly prevalent every time he does. Loki epitomizes the Chaotic Neutral alignment. He does what he pleases, and has a moral code when he feels like having one. Despite this, he is not a bad person. He does have limits and things that he won't do.
Loki's supreme attribute is his keen mind. He is highly cunning, and can turn almost anything to work for his advantage. His biggest flaw is his hedonism. Loki has very low willpower and is easily distracted, which can lead to hugely disastrous results. Loki loves the ladies, and his dashing good looks and striking fashion sense help him a great deal.
Philo Stone: Loki's archfoe, but doesn't know it. Stone is Captain America, Doc Savage, Superman, and every other squeaky-clean superhero rolled into one. He does everything perfectly and with minimal effort, which drives Loki nuts, who is usually left looking like a fool by comparison. Stone is highly practical, and has no illusions about his abilities, which are in fact superhuman. While Loki is immersed in magic, Stone is surrounded by technology. Stone does not believe in magic, and this seems to sustain a null-magic field around him that neutralizes any magical activity. So anything Loki tries to do usually fails. This is why Loki hates Stone. He shows Loki up without even trying. He makes his way as a professional adventurer, doing just about everything one could think of, from recovering ancient Mayan artifacts to battling super-villain syndicates. He always seems to show up when Loki is around, and always at the last time when Loki wants him there. The worst thing is that Stone actually resembles Loki fairly strongly, so Loki gets mugged for autographs, photos, and the occasional mob assault squad out for Stone's head.
THE CASE OF THE PHLATULENT PHANTOM
(Section 1)
-Open on Possum Swamp. It is dark, smelly, and noisy. Croaking, buzzing, and chirping abound. The gnarled, twisted branches reach out in a skeleton of wood under the canopy of leaves. An unidentifiable green glow can be seen from far into the swamp.
-Cut to inside of Mystery Machine. Fred is driving; Daphne is sitting next to him. Velma is leaning against the passenger door as far from them as she can be.
Fred: So Velma, tell me again about this cousin Harold we're going to see.
Velma: He lives at Possum Lodge. My uncle sent him to live with the other uncle no one talks about. He said something about them deserving each other. The lodge is pretty deep into the swamp. (She stops; a surprised look crosses her face) At this rate, we'll be there in no time.
F: (Also surprised) You're right. It looks like we'll get to the lodge on schedule. This road is so smooth; it looks as if it was redone yesterday. There's no way we could blow a tire on it. And there have been gas stations every two miles. Funny thing, they all had signs reading "Just Opened". And all the roads except for this one have been closed. They all look fine to me.
Daphne: And the road is really smooth!
-V looks at D with confusion.
V: Right, Daphne. Not only was that painfully obvious, but Fred already said it.
D: He did?
-The Mystery Machine drives past another "Road Closed" sign and off screen. A blue Lamborghini Diablo smashes through the sign. Loki steps out and looks at sign. His long black hair is hanging past his finely shaped face. His long black leather coat wraps him in shadow. He looks back down the road.
Loki: Road closed? This road is just fine. Weird.
-He continues on. He drives by the swamp.
L: Ahh.Possum Swamp! Home of the most potent marijuana ever grown. Somewhere in that soggy, wet, trickling.AH MAN!!
-L pulls off road and urinates in bushes. While pissing, L hears farting noises.
L: Hmm.must be swamp gas.
-The noises are growing nearer, and are right behind L.
L: (Turning around) Huh?
-The Phlatulent Phantom is standing there. He is giving off a green glow, and looks like a decaying zombie covered in swamp muck. He is standing in a threatening pose, waving his arms over his head.
Phantom: Boogy boogy.(looks down to see Loki pissing on his leg) AH SHIT!
-Phantom runs off. L finishes urinating.
L: That was odd. Never seen a ghost wearing knee-high galoshes before. (Sees the green glow emanating from the swamp) Ooo Pretty!
-L vanishes into swamp.
-Cut back to Mystery Machine. Velma is looking out the window of the van. Velma is leaning on Fred's shoulder. The van stops.
V: (Still looking out window) Don't tell me. Despite all the perfect conditions and linear path, you still managed to get us lost, didn't you?
F: (Shamefully) Yeah.
D: I think we're lost.
V: I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. So, what are our options, Fred?
F: We seem to be at a fork in the road. (Looking at the four possible paths) That way leads to an abandoned amusement park, that leads an abandoned casino, that way leads to an empty air field, and that way goes to an old spooky house.
V: How fantastic. Shaggy! Scooby!
-Shaggy and Scooby pop up from the back of the van. Both look very ragged, tired, and grumpy.
Sh: Like, are we there yet? I need to.(Shaggy stops talking, and looks as if he's about to vomit.)
Sc: Raggy!
Sh: (Clutching at his throat) Zoiks! Like, what's going on? My voooooooo.(his squeaky voice drops several octaves. He now sounds like Jack Nicholson) Whoa, I forgot what my real voice sounded like. I must be coming down. My head's clearing up. We have to get to that lodge fast!
V: (Not caring) Looks like Fred got us lost.
Sh: Yeah? So what's new about that? That's Number One on my checklist.
F: What checklist?
Sh: That's Number Two. Fred asks a stupid question.
D: What stupid question?
Sh: Number Three. Daphne says something that makes Fred look semi- intelligent.
V: Then what's Number Four?
Sh: Appearance of Celebrity Guest Star.
-Loki emerges from swamp behind van. He is completely stoned and surrounded with smoke, and faintly glowing green. No one sees him. He cheers, "Free Weed!" and stumbles off.
V: (Growing impatient) I don't see any Celebrity Guest Star. Now Shaggy, Scooby, we're lost. We need you two to go find some help.
Sh: And what are you three going to do?
V: We're going to stay here with the van.
Sc: Rhy rould re ro rit?
V: Why should you do it? You two always go find help.
Sh: That's Number Five. What's in it for us? I'm not about to do something dumb just 'cause you ask, Velma.
V: I'll give you both a treat.
Sh: It better be good. My taste buds are starting to regain sensation.
-V produces box of Scooby Snacks.
Sh: Why are you trying to bribe me with fuckin' dog biscuits?