(Section 2)
-The Mystery Machine has stopped in front of the old spooky house. All are standing on the steps. Shaggy is making marks on his list.
V: Possum Lodge! I haven't been here since.I can't remember.
Sh: Say, Velma, how many other family members do you have that we don't know about? We've met several people you're related to, and then we never see them again. That's another checkoff. Meet an obscure previously unmentioned relative.
Sc: Ri rave Rooby Rumb rand Rappy Roo!
Sh; Yeah, Scooby, I'm aware you know your relatives. They've made so many guest appearances no one can forget them.
V: Though some of us wish we could. They took so much glory we humans we left as scenery.
CREEEEEEEEAK
-The door of the lodge creaks open ominously.
Sh: Next checkpoint. Appearance of secondary character that furthers along plot. Also the point where we start taking inventory of who the villain might be.
-The door is open. Before them stands Red Green. He has a gray beard and is wearing a flannel shirt, and a bandoleer of duct tape. He is holding a blowtorch in one hand and a hacksaw in the other.
Sh: There's a prime candidate.
Red: Hi kids. Are you all here for the amusement park?
Sh: You mean that merry-go-round made out of stuffed animals and duct tape?
Sc: Rand rardboard.
R: Yeah.so how many?
V: Uncle Red, it's me! Velma!
R: (Taking a moment) It is you, Velma! Daughter I never had! And good thing, too. Harold's bad enough.
V: Where is Harold? I called ahead, and told him I was coming.
R: You did? I didn't hear anything about it. I don't know where Harold is. I'm filming my show right now. Then I've got a lodge meeting. He'll be there.
Sh: Good thing. He and I have some business to do.
R: Shaggy? It that you? Last time you were here, you were squeaking like a mouse, and ran away from them too.
Sh: Watch yourself, old man. A man on withdrawal is not something you want to see.
-Scooby glares at Red.
R: (Taken aback) Well, Shaggy, looks like something else dropped besides your voice. Somebody grew a backbone. Though from the look of you, that's about all you have.
Sh: See how you look when all you ever do is run from things.
Sc: Re're ralrays rungry.
R: Yes, I recall. Last time you fellas were here, you ate out the entire pantry I had stocked for the lodge meeting. Which was supposed to feed twenty grown men. At least I was able to restock enough beer for the lodge members.
F: What's beer?
R: I see Fred hasn't changed.
D: That man has a beard.
R: And neither has Daphne.
V: So Uncle Red, if we have time, why don't you give us the tour? There's been a lot changes to this place since I last saw it. What's with all the new structures?
R: I'll show you. Everybody come this way.
-Red leads the Gang out the back door of the lodge. He leads them down to the amusement park.
R: As you all saw before, this is the Possum Lodge amusement park.
V: Uh huh.It's a carousel made out of stuffed animals, cardboard, and duct tape.
Sh: And the pony ride is a dead goat tied to a tetherball pole. The rope's so short; the goat's even hanging off it. Is that duct tape around its neck?
D: Look! A pony ride!
R: (Shaking off a wave of stupidity nausea) Let's move on, shall we?
R: Next we have the Possum Lodge Casino. Beautiful, isn't it?
Sh: That's a condemned bingo hall. There's a hole the size of the Mystery Machine in the roof.
-Shaggy looks down at the checklist he's carrying. His eyes light up with a thought.
Sh: That gives me an idea.
Sc: Rhat, Raggy?
Sh: This is fucking brilliant!
-Shaggy and Scooby begin to scheme between each other.
R: And next we have the Possum Lodge Air Field.
V: Uncle Red, that's a strip of dirt running under power lines, and bordered by trees.
R: Ummm.Watching the planes land sure is fun. Of course, only Buzz Sherwood has ever tried. We've had to clean up the wreckage of fifteen planes. And this strip was put in last week. It was Harold's idea. I put him in charge of attracting tourism to the Lodge after he came back from the city. He had a whole boatload of ideas, and also a very scheming, underhanded look on his face. Oh well, next thing.
-Next building.
R: And here is the Possum Lodge Motel.
Sh: How did you manage to build a motel out of a single outhouse, Red?
R: Government subsidies. We met some resistance, but we raised a stink about it, and they gave us the money to go away.
-The Gang has returned to the back of the Lodge. Red points out to Possum Swamp.
R: And finally, we have the Possum Swamp Marina.
V: Uncle Red, that's an old rotting deck with a canoe.
Sh: And there's a human skeleton hanging from the dock. I feel like I'm standing in Deliverance. Except there aren't any neurotic, psychotic chicks jumping half-naked into the water. DAPHNE! GET BACK HERE!
R: Yeah, well the alligators around here are very aggressive.
Sh: Just what are alligators doing in Canada?
R: Umm.(looks at his wrist that has no watch) Look at the time! It's time for the lodge meeting! So you all can see Harold, and.Say, where are Fred and Daphne?
-Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby look around. They are gone.
BANG BANG
V: That came from inside the lodge!
-Everyone rushes inside.
BANG BANG
-The banging is coming from the basement door.
F: Hey, gang? Daphne and I got trapped in the basement. Can you get us out?
Sc: Row rid rhey ret rin rhere?
V: How could they have gotten trapped in the basement when they were right behind us?
Sh: Holy shit. They skipped ahead on my list. Those two aren't supposed to get stuck in basement until after the ghost has made two appearances.
R: (Looking nervous) Ghost?
V: Yes, Uncle Red, that's what I've been doing all this time. Solving mysteries with this bunch. It gives me something to do when I'm not.never mind.
-Red unlocks the door. Fred and Daphne come out.
R: Just how did you two get in there?
D: I don't know.
R: Fred?
F: The ghost chased us in there.
R: What ghost?
F: Uhhhhh.
R: Never mind. I have to go host the Lodge meeting now. When it's over, Harold will be available. See you in a couple hours.
-The time passes slowly. Shaggy and Scooby are busy writing things on several sheets of paper. Fred, Daphne, and Velma are watching TV. Fred and Daphne want to watch Sesame Street, and Velma keeps trying to change the channel to Gladiator. Loki, who has lost his emerald glow, passes by the window. He glances inside and sees the Scooby Gang. His eyes pass over Velma and Fred, and he gives a look of disgust. His eyes lock on Daphne for a moment, then he goes on into the Lodge Meeting Hall.
-A couple of hours later, the congregation of Possum Lodge pours out of the Meeting Hall. Harold, shining in his geekiness, with his standard thick glasses, pocket protector, and hiked-up pants, exits last. He is talking with Loki, who is speaking in hushed tones.
L: So, fifteen ounces from the remaining barge will come to.(Looks up) Shaggy! Scooby! And Daphne! And Limp-Wrist and the Bovine! Haven't seen any of you since High School! None of you have changed! (Looks at everyone) Nope, not at all. Not even your clothes.
Sh: Looks like someone else has been dipping into Dick Clark's fountain of youth.
L: Whoa! Shaggy! Your voice went back to normal! No more smokey smoke?
Sh: Nah, I've gone so long without it, my system's starting to clear itself out. That's why I'm here. Harold sells the best hash I've ever toked. Ay, Scoob?
Sc: Reah! Rarold ras reeeeeeeeet reefer!
L: That's awfully funky. Someone sent me a sample of this junk, and I was soaring through the best high I've ever had. Only thing was, it made me squeak like a mouse, and made me scared of everything I saw.
Sh: Now you know how Scoob and I have gotten along this far.
L: So you guys sent it to me?
Sc: Rot rus.
L: No? Then who did?
-Velma runs over to Harold.
V: Cousin Harold!
Harold: Cousin Velma!
V: How have you been, Harold? Since you came back from the city?
H: The city gave me a lot of ideas, Velma. I've been implementing them here at the Lodge. So far they've been going rather well.
V: You mean the dirt airstrip and the condemned bingo hall?
H: No, those are to keep Uncle Red happy. I mean the insurance scams, and the criminal network I've establi.Yes, I mean the bingo hall.
V: Harold, you know who my employer is. I can't tolerate any criminal activity, so.(Velma's eyes drift behind Harold)
-Ranger Gord is coming out from the Lodge Hall. He is wearing a Fire Warden's uniform that is worn and torn from being worn for fifteen years. He is large and good-looking, except for the odd orange scarf around his neck. He eyes Velma as well.
V: Oh my God. Harold, who is that?
H: Oh him. That's Ranger Gord. He's been up at the Fire Watch Tower for sixteen years. Today was the first day he's come down. He once mistook a log for a naked woman, so he's full blown crazy.
V: I can do crazy.
-Velma leaps like a puma right onto Gord's massive chest and scissors her legs around his waist. Gord does not even notice. Velma gives a pouty look. She then sees Fred, and a thought crosses her mind.
She begins to untie the scarf around Gord's neck. Red runs over in a panic.
R: No Velma! I tied that scarf on him to keep his masculinity sedated!
-As soon as Velma removes the scarf, an animal wildness flows into Gord's eyes. He looks down at the little sweater-wrapped form on his chest.
Gord: Mmmmm. Gord like soft bumpy things.
-Gord runs up the stairs, with Velma still attached. A door slams loudly.
L: I never thought I'd see that happen.
Sh: That completely threw off my list.
L: What list would that be?
Sh: Come outside. I'll tell you over a bowl.
-Loki, Shaggy, and Scooby run off to the swamp.
D: There's going to.Fred, what are they doing?
F: I don't know, Daphne.
R: (Looks at Fred and Daphne) Say, Harold, I'll give you five dollars if you untie Fred's scarf.
H: All right.
-Harold sneaks up behind Fred, and unties the scarf. Fred eyes give a primal glow, and he runs upstairs with Harold in tow.
H: Heeeeelp!!
R: Yup, I thought so.
-Loki, Shaggy, have returned from outside. All three of them have ridiculously high, squeaky voices, and are laughing hysterically.
L: Zoiks! Like, that is brilliant! Why am I talking like you?
Sh: Like, it's the junk, man. Does this to everyone.
Sc: Ree hee hee hee!
-Red approaches the trio
R: Welcome back, boys.
All 3: AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!
R: What? Did I scare you?
Sh: Like, yeah.
R: Sorry. Thought if you all were going to spend the night, you should make some arrangements for rooms. So far, there's only one room reserved, so you should all be fine.
L: You mean, like, we have to all sleep in that outhouse?
R: Oh no, that's the spare room. There are a few more upstairs.
Sh: Like, cool! So who's staying here? Some celebrity? I haven't seen the guest yet. That's a blank space on the list.
-Shaggy, Scooby, and Loki bust out laughing.
R: Actually, it is someone rather famous. Ever heard of Philo Stone?
-Loki stops laughing and starts coughing so hard his voice drops back down.
L: Di.did you just say Philo Stone?
R: Yeah, you know of him?
L: Know OF him? He's only the biggest thorn in my side I could ever ask for! Why would he be coming here?
R: I suspect to see the marina. It's renowned throughout Canada.
Sh: Right. As the only marina with water you can walk on. Water that thick has to be the world records somewhere.
L: I see you're coming back to Earth, Shaggy.
Sh: And wishing I were gone again.
R: So you guys going to get rooms?
L: I guess so. Of course, we don't need to tell Fred about the other rooms. Where is he anyway?
-Harold comes running down the stairs. His hair is a bushy mess.
H: * huff* * puff* It was horrible! He tied me to a chair, locked the door, and took off his shirt. Then he advanced on me; with animal passion seething out of every pore. Then he.he.
L: He what?
H: He did my hair.
L: That was disappointing. So, Red, when is Stone set to arrive here?
R: In about five minutes.
L: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
-The Mystery Machine has stopped in front of the old spooky house. All are standing on the steps. Shaggy is making marks on his list.
V: Possum Lodge! I haven't been here since.I can't remember.
Sh: Say, Velma, how many other family members do you have that we don't know about? We've met several people you're related to, and then we never see them again. That's another checkoff. Meet an obscure previously unmentioned relative.
Sc: Ri rave Rooby Rumb rand Rappy Roo!
Sh; Yeah, Scooby, I'm aware you know your relatives. They've made so many guest appearances no one can forget them.
V: Though some of us wish we could. They took so much glory we humans we left as scenery.
CREEEEEEEEAK
-The door of the lodge creaks open ominously.
Sh: Next checkpoint. Appearance of secondary character that furthers along plot. Also the point where we start taking inventory of who the villain might be.
-The door is open. Before them stands Red Green. He has a gray beard and is wearing a flannel shirt, and a bandoleer of duct tape. He is holding a blowtorch in one hand and a hacksaw in the other.
Sh: There's a prime candidate.
Red: Hi kids. Are you all here for the amusement park?
Sh: You mean that merry-go-round made out of stuffed animals and duct tape?
Sc: Rand rardboard.
R: Yeah.so how many?
V: Uncle Red, it's me! Velma!
R: (Taking a moment) It is you, Velma! Daughter I never had! And good thing, too. Harold's bad enough.
V: Where is Harold? I called ahead, and told him I was coming.
R: You did? I didn't hear anything about it. I don't know where Harold is. I'm filming my show right now. Then I've got a lodge meeting. He'll be there.
Sh: Good thing. He and I have some business to do.
R: Shaggy? It that you? Last time you were here, you were squeaking like a mouse, and ran away from them too.
Sh: Watch yourself, old man. A man on withdrawal is not something you want to see.
-Scooby glares at Red.
R: (Taken aback) Well, Shaggy, looks like something else dropped besides your voice. Somebody grew a backbone. Though from the look of you, that's about all you have.
Sh: See how you look when all you ever do is run from things.
Sc: Re're ralrays rungry.
R: Yes, I recall. Last time you fellas were here, you ate out the entire pantry I had stocked for the lodge meeting. Which was supposed to feed twenty grown men. At least I was able to restock enough beer for the lodge members.
F: What's beer?
R: I see Fred hasn't changed.
D: That man has a beard.
R: And neither has Daphne.
V: So Uncle Red, if we have time, why don't you give us the tour? There's been a lot changes to this place since I last saw it. What's with all the new structures?
R: I'll show you. Everybody come this way.
-Red leads the Gang out the back door of the lodge. He leads them down to the amusement park.
R: As you all saw before, this is the Possum Lodge amusement park.
V: Uh huh.It's a carousel made out of stuffed animals, cardboard, and duct tape.
Sh: And the pony ride is a dead goat tied to a tetherball pole. The rope's so short; the goat's even hanging off it. Is that duct tape around its neck?
D: Look! A pony ride!
R: (Shaking off a wave of stupidity nausea) Let's move on, shall we?
R: Next we have the Possum Lodge Casino. Beautiful, isn't it?
Sh: That's a condemned bingo hall. There's a hole the size of the Mystery Machine in the roof.
-Shaggy looks down at the checklist he's carrying. His eyes light up with a thought.
Sh: That gives me an idea.
Sc: Rhat, Raggy?
Sh: This is fucking brilliant!
-Shaggy and Scooby begin to scheme between each other.
R: And next we have the Possum Lodge Air Field.
V: Uncle Red, that's a strip of dirt running under power lines, and bordered by trees.
R: Ummm.Watching the planes land sure is fun. Of course, only Buzz Sherwood has ever tried. We've had to clean up the wreckage of fifteen planes. And this strip was put in last week. It was Harold's idea. I put him in charge of attracting tourism to the Lodge after he came back from the city. He had a whole boatload of ideas, and also a very scheming, underhanded look on his face. Oh well, next thing.
-Next building.
R: And here is the Possum Lodge Motel.
Sh: How did you manage to build a motel out of a single outhouse, Red?
R: Government subsidies. We met some resistance, but we raised a stink about it, and they gave us the money to go away.
-The Gang has returned to the back of the Lodge. Red points out to Possum Swamp.
R: And finally, we have the Possum Swamp Marina.
V: Uncle Red, that's an old rotting deck with a canoe.
Sh: And there's a human skeleton hanging from the dock. I feel like I'm standing in Deliverance. Except there aren't any neurotic, psychotic chicks jumping half-naked into the water. DAPHNE! GET BACK HERE!
R: Yeah, well the alligators around here are very aggressive.
Sh: Just what are alligators doing in Canada?
R: Umm.(looks at his wrist that has no watch) Look at the time! It's time for the lodge meeting! So you all can see Harold, and.Say, where are Fred and Daphne?
-Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby look around. They are gone.
BANG BANG
V: That came from inside the lodge!
-Everyone rushes inside.
BANG BANG
-The banging is coming from the basement door.
F: Hey, gang? Daphne and I got trapped in the basement. Can you get us out?
Sc: Row rid rhey ret rin rhere?
V: How could they have gotten trapped in the basement when they were right behind us?
Sh: Holy shit. They skipped ahead on my list. Those two aren't supposed to get stuck in basement until after the ghost has made two appearances.
R: (Looking nervous) Ghost?
V: Yes, Uncle Red, that's what I've been doing all this time. Solving mysteries with this bunch. It gives me something to do when I'm not.never mind.
-Red unlocks the door. Fred and Daphne come out.
R: Just how did you two get in there?
D: I don't know.
R: Fred?
F: The ghost chased us in there.
R: What ghost?
F: Uhhhhh.
R: Never mind. I have to go host the Lodge meeting now. When it's over, Harold will be available. See you in a couple hours.
-The time passes slowly. Shaggy and Scooby are busy writing things on several sheets of paper. Fred, Daphne, and Velma are watching TV. Fred and Daphne want to watch Sesame Street, and Velma keeps trying to change the channel to Gladiator. Loki, who has lost his emerald glow, passes by the window. He glances inside and sees the Scooby Gang. His eyes pass over Velma and Fred, and he gives a look of disgust. His eyes lock on Daphne for a moment, then he goes on into the Lodge Meeting Hall.
-A couple of hours later, the congregation of Possum Lodge pours out of the Meeting Hall. Harold, shining in his geekiness, with his standard thick glasses, pocket protector, and hiked-up pants, exits last. He is talking with Loki, who is speaking in hushed tones.
L: So, fifteen ounces from the remaining barge will come to.(Looks up) Shaggy! Scooby! And Daphne! And Limp-Wrist and the Bovine! Haven't seen any of you since High School! None of you have changed! (Looks at everyone) Nope, not at all. Not even your clothes.
Sh: Looks like someone else has been dipping into Dick Clark's fountain of youth.
L: Whoa! Shaggy! Your voice went back to normal! No more smokey smoke?
Sh: Nah, I've gone so long without it, my system's starting to clear itself out. That's why I'm here. Harold sells the best hash I've ever toked. Ay, Scoob?
Sc: Reah! Rarold ras reeeeeeeeet reefer!
L: That's awfully funky. Someone sent me a sample of this junk, and I was soaring through the best high I've ever had. Only thing was, it made me squeak like a mouse, and made me scared of everything I saw.
Sh: Now you know how Scoob and I have gotten along this far.
L: So you guys sent it to me?
Sc: Rot rus.
L: No? Then who did?
-Velma runs over to Harold.
V: Cousin Harold!
Harold: Cousin Velma!
V: How have you been, Harold? Since you came back from the city?
H: The city gave me a lot of ideas, Velma. I've been implementing them here at the Lodge. So far they've been going rather well.
V: You mean the dirt airstrip and the condemned bingo hall?
H: No, those are to keep Uncle Red happy. I mean the insurance scams, and the criminal network I've establi.Yes, I mean the bingo hall.
V: Harold, you know who my employer is. I can't tolerate any criminal activity, so.(Velma's eyes drift behind Harold)
-Ranger Gord is coming out from the Lodge Hall. He is wearing a Fire Warden's uniform that is worn and torn from being worn for fifteen years. He is large and good-looking, except for the odd orange scarf around his neck. He eyes Velma as well.
V: Oh my God. Harold, who is that?
H: Oh him. That's Ranger Gord. He's been up at the Fire Watch Tower for sixteen years. Today was the first day he's come down. He once mistook a log for a naked woman, so he's full blown crazy.
V: I can do crazy.
-Velma leaps like a puma right onto Gord's massive chest and scissors her legs around his waist. Gord does not even notice. Velma gives a pouty look. She then sees Fred, and a thought crosses her mind.
She begins to untie the scarf around Gord's neck. Red runs over in a panic.
R: No Velma! I tied that scarf on him to keep his masculinity sedated!
-As soon as Velma removes the scarf, an animal wildness flows into Gord's eyes. He looks down at the little sweater-wrapped form on his chest.
Gord: Mmmmm. Gord like soft bumpy things.
-Gord runs up the stairs, with Velma still attached. A door slams loudly.
L: I never thought I'd see that happen.
Sh: That completely threw off my list.
L: What list would that be?
Sh: Come outside. I'll tell you over a bowl.
-Loki, Shaggy, and Scooby run off to the swamp.
D: There's going to.Fred, what are they doing?
F: I don't know, Daphne.
R: (Looks at Fred and Daphne) Say, Harold, I'll give you five dollars if you untie Fred's scarf.
H: All right.
-Harold sneaks up behind Fred, and unties the scarf. Fred eyes give a primal glow, and he runs upstairs with Harold in tow.
H: Heeeeelp!!
R: Yup, I thought so.
-Loki, Shaggy, have returned from outside. All three of them have ridiculously high, squeaky voices, and are laughing hysterically.
L: Zoiks! Like, that is brilliant! Why am I talking like you?
Sh: Like, it's the junk, man. Does this to everyone.
Sc: Ree hee hee hee!
-Red approaches the trio
R: Welcome back, boys.
All 3: AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!
R: What? Did I scare you?
Sh: Like, yeah.
R: Sorry. Thought if you all were going to spend the night, you should make some arrangements for rooms. So far, there's only one room reserved, so you should all be fine.
L: You mean, like, we have to all sleep in that outhouse?
R: Oh no, that's the spare room. There are a few more upstairs.
Sh: Like, cool! So who's staying here? Some celebrity? I haven't seen the guest yet. That's a blank space on the list.
-Shaggy, Scooby, and Loki bust out laughing.
R: Actually, it is someone rather famous. Ever heard of Philo Stone?
-Loki stops laughing and starts coughing so hard his voice drops back down.
L: Di.did you just say Philo Stone?
R: Yeah, you know of him?
L: Know OF him? He's only the biggest thorn in my side I could ever ask for! Why would he be coming here?
R: I suspect to see the marina. It's renowned throughout Canada.
Sh: Right. As the only marina with water you can walk on. Water that thick has to be the world records somewhere.
L: I see you're coming back to Earth, Shaggy.
Sh: And wishing I were gone again.
R: So you guys going to get rooms?
L: I guess so. Of course, we don't need to tell Fred about the other rooms. Where is he anyway?
-Harold comes running down the stairs. His hair is a bushy mess.
H: * huff* * puff* It was horrible! He tied me to a chair, locked the door, and took off his shirt. Then he advanced on me; with animal passion seething out of every pore. Then he.he.
L: He what?
H: He did my hair.
L: That was disappointing. So, Red, when is Stone set to arrive here?
R: In about five minutes.
L: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!