Titanic: Fushigi Yuugi Style, no da!
WARNING: This is yet another fic doing the whole "Another Horrible Tragedy Being Taken by Hollywood to Make it a Romantic Flick" thing so...you have been warned! Attack of the spoof!
Note from Tifa: We had a LOT of fun writing this. *snicker* I hope ya enjoy this fic! Just be warned, it's full of crazyness and quite a bit of shounen-ai (whaddya expect, I haven't written/been part of writing a non-shounen ai fic in months). Buy your popcorn, sit down, and enjoy the show!
Written by: SuperSatoshi, DJ Tifa, and Kai_Li
__________________________________________________________________
It was a bright and sunny day, and here, in a port in some land, or something, lands a big ship. It's supposed to be a kick-ass ship, apparently God himself can't sink it! Pfft, what idiots. God can't destroy a man-made creation? How stupid!
On the dock near the big-ass ship, a carriage pulled up. It stopped and the door opened. A woman stepped out--hey, isn't that Nuriko? Anyway...
Another man stepped out...looks like...Tamahome? What's he doing here? ...Oh well.
The last person to step out was another woman, but younger than the first one. *squint* Hey...she looks familiar...WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S CHICHIRI! WHAT'S HE DOING DRESSING LIKE A GIRL?!
Nuriko tries to flatten her ruffles on her dress with no success. Chichiri yawns and look around. Tamahome is busy...counting his money.
A loud shout is heard and you see a man with flaming orange hair running through the crowd pushing a buncha people aside. "Woooo!! I got a ticket!!" the young man screamed.
"Mwa ha ha ha! I stole it all for myself! It is all mine! WAHAHAHA, I love being a thief! Now, I will escape on this ship, so I do not get caught, and get thrown to jail! WAHAHA, I am BRILLIANT!" he replied, dashing away.
"Mom....are you sure we have to go on this ship?" Chichiri asked. Nuriko sighed and said, "Of course dear. We're going to America!" Nuriko then leaped up and down happily. Chichiri sweatdropped.
"Come along, honey..." Tamahome almost looked green having to call Chichiri that, "we'd better get going on the ship already..."
The captain of the big-ass ship stepped out from his quarters and greeted the passengers as they boarded it. The young man with the flaming orange hair leaped onto the ship past Chichiri. Chichiri frowned and glared at the hooligan and yelled, "Watch where you're going lower classman!"
"What'd you say?!" the guy with the flaming orange hair screamed.
"Your clothes are obviously horrifically classed, there is no way that YOU could be rich..."
"How could you be so sure? I DID manage to steal Bill Gates' wallet once," he replied, grinning.
"So you are just a horrible thief. Hmph," Chichiri replied, walking away.
"What a bitch..." Tasuki grumbled and walked off.
While Chichiri was away, the guy with the flaming orange hair sneaked into the first class dining room. He snatched a few morsels here and there tasting everything he could get his hands on.
Afterwards, he dashed away into the main hall, and looked inside his sack, which obtained some of the things he had swiped.
"Yuck," he commented, throwing away the chicken leg. "Too raw." He then looked at a small jar of caviar. "Sick," he threw that away as well.
He then pulled out a very expensive bottle of champagne. Wow, how'd he get that? He took a small sip. "Geez! This stuff is weak!" He then threw it, hearing a shattering sound with a woman's scream following afterward.
Chichiri screamed as the champagne bottle hit his (her?) mother's face. "Ahhh! Mother! Are you okay?" Chichiri asked.
"So many rude people here! Hmph!" Nuriko muttered angrily, "Hmm? Oh yes dear I'm fine..."
"Who in blazes would be ever so rude enough to throw a champagne bottle?" Chichiri asks. "It's asking for trouble."
"You are right, my dear, but come, let's get inside and get some dinner."
"Mother, are you certain that you are all right?"
"Yes, yes, dear, I'm fine, I'll get a quick dinner...and possibly a few dozen asprin to cure this awful headache..."
Chichiri and Nuriko walked into the dining room. Their eyes widened at the site of eaten food tossed carelessly all over the place. Broken plates littered the floor. A few sake bottles could be seen lying under the table cloths. Waiters yell at each other wondering who would leave such a mess.
"This ship is becoming less appealing to me every moment I stand here," Nuriko commented.
"Come, let us go to our room for a rest," Chichiri offered. "We can't stay here while there's a horrible mess here..."
Nuriko started heading towards the room. Chichiri thought for a moment, then headed out to the back of the ship. He stood at the very edge, looking down. Time seemed to slow to a standstill.
"DAMN IT! Why do I get picked to play a suicidal character, no da?!" he whined.
Time returned to its normal pace as Tasuki runs by, ramming into Chichiri. Chichiri nearly loses his balance and is about to fall over into the water, but Tasuki grabs Chichiri by his/her dress just in time.
"Ahhh, no da!" Chichiri screams in terror.
"Bah you're heavy! Stop scre--oof!" Tasuki gasped. The two are seen in an...interesting position (o.O;; )
"Are you saying I'm fat, no da?!" Chichiri exclaimed.
"Um, no, it's just that...oh forget it, just get off before somebody sees--"
There was a loud gasp. "Chichiri?! What in blazes do you think you're doing?!" Nuriko exclaims, before turning her attention to Tasuki. "And YOU, what do you think you're doing?! Trying to rape my daughter?!"
"Um, no, ma'am, she's on top of me, and we are fully clothed..."
Nuriko stood still in silence for a few brief moments. "Whatever. Chichiri, come, you must get away from this scum..."
Nuriko pulled Chichiri away, back to the 1st class place thing. Chichiri cast one more glance at Tasuki, who gave a small smile and waved.
A few minutes later, Tasuki blinked. "Damn. She's...something. But...is she really a SHE?! I coulda sworn that--ah, forget it, too confusin'...damn upper class people..." he said to himself.
Nuriko lectures Chichiri about how he/she should only be around and communicate with upper-class citizens. "Talking to lower class citizens doesn't do us any good! They're dirty and unmannerly," Nuriko tells Chichiri.
Chichiri stares blankly at the wall wondering when all this boring talk is going to end. Chichiri wonders about how life would be like if he/she was a lower-class citizen.
Tasuki walked out of the dining room, sipping a full bottle of champagne. "Now THIS is good stuff..." As he turned his head, he spotted Chichiri, staring at him from a higher level of the ship.
He/she then turned to walk away, as Tasuki began to climb up the stairs to try and reach him/her in time. "Wait! Please! I want to talk to you!"
"I can't, my mother won't let me, no da."
"To hell with your mother! I wanna talk to ya!" Tasuki exlaimed.
Chichiri sighed nervously and stated, "Well...I guess it can't hurt, no da...."
Tasuki fidgeted a bit and said, "Uh...well...I was just kinda wondering...if you would like to go to a party with me in the 3rd class party room? I mean, you dun have ta...but I can see how ya kinda dun like your lifestyle much. Maybe ya should try something different? So, whaddya say?"
Chichiri secretly smiles and says, "I'll think about it."
Tasuki's eyes widen in disbelief and exclaims, "Well, I hope ya decide to come! It's going to be really fun, ya know!" Tasuki laughs and grins.
Chichiri chuckles and tells Tasuki, "I have to go now. Goodbye...umm...what was your name?"
Tasuki blinks and replies, "Tasuki, yours?"
Chichiri says, "Chichiri. It was nice to meet you, Tasuki. Farewell now."
So, skipping all of the boring dialogue within the next hour or so, Chichiri DOES decide to go to the party. He/she has a blast, and even danced with Tasuki a few times!
They eventually found themselves running away from Chichiri's mother, for if she was found...nobody would be happy. Especially Tamahome, who wants to marry him/her.
"Wow, look at all of these cars!" Tasuki yells in complete, total shock. "They're beauties! I wish I had one like these..."
Tasuki runs up to a car and marvels at it. He pokes at the side mirrors and kicks the car's tires. "I was hoping one of 'em would fall apart..oh well," Tasuki says shruging.
Chichiri giggles and walks up to a navy blue car. He/She enters it and sits down on one of the leathery seats. "Ooh, this is comfortable," Chichiri says.
Tasuki sits down next to Chichiri.
* * *
A large hand swipes down the foggy window, wiping away excess fog from the steam inside of the car. "Geez," Tasuki begins, "we've been in here for twenty seconds and the car's already steamed up."
"Yep, that's all we've been doing, no da. Sitting on our butts, no da."
"For some reason, I feel that something was supposed to happen here..."
Driven by some weird sensation, Tasuki wraps his arms around Chichiri's waist and pulls Chichiri closer to him. Chichiri stares into Tasuki's eyes. The two engage into a deep kiss, their soft lips caressing each other.
The two eventually broke away for some much needed air. "Ta-Tasuki...I...." Chichiri started. Tasuki cut him off with a kiss. "Chiri...we've only known each other for a short while...but I...I'm in love with ya..." he whispered.
A smile spread across Chichiri's face. "I...I love you too, Tasuki...." The two were leaning in for another kiss when Chichiri pulled back abruptly.
"Ano...Tas-chan? There's uh...something about me that I don't think you know, no da..." Chichiri whispered nervously.
"Ne...? What?" asked Tasuki.
"A-ano...ne....uh....I'm...I'm....I'm a guy..." Chichiri mumbled softly, a blush crossing his face.
Tasuki stared for a moment in shock. Then everything just happened to make perfect sense. Cause I said it does. Yeah.
Tasuki shrugged and embraced Chichiri again. "I don't mind, Chiri. I don't like women much anyways....anyways, makes it all the more interesting," he said with a wink that bordered on suggestive.
The two kissed deeply again, wrapping their arms around each other. Tasuki grinned and pushed Chichiri down on his back, kissing him again, letting his hands roam Chichiri's body.
* * *
After the giant meditation fest, *cough*, the two decide to move out to the dock of the ship. Chichiri ran to the bow and spread his arms out. "Looky me, no da! I'm flying!"
"Yeah...that's really great..."
"Oh my GOD!" the captain exclaimed. "There's a gigantic sushi box in our way, we can't avoid it in time!"
"Oh no!" some of the crew replied.
Miaka suddenly pops in and says, "I'll save you all!!" and she pounced onto the sushi box and starts munching rapidly. The sushi box decreases in size at 1000cm/sec. The people on the ship scream, "Yay! We're saved!"
Miaka belches loudly and jumps onto the ship grinning. "There ya go! I'm full now...see ya!" she waves and poofs away.
Everyone thought they were saved..when all of a sudden...an iceberg appeared out of nowhere and the ship crashed into it! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
If you have an ounce of common sense, you'll know the ensuing events. Ship goes bye bye! People go bye bye!
Tasuki and Chichiri sat on a floating piece of board, which thankfully, was big enough for the both of them. "The hell happened?!" Tasuki complained. "How'd the damn ship sink?"
Chichiri looks around, screaming for his mother. "Well, I guess she's gone forever," Chichiri says looking at Tasuki.
"Woooo!!" Tasuki says grinning.
Chichiri chuckles and looks around for survivors.
Tasuki asks Chichiri, "Hey, don't you feel weird in that fancy dress?"
Chichiri looks at himself and says, "You're right no da! Lemme change back into normal clothing..." A fog of smoke covers Chichiri and he now has on his regular monkish clothing.
Tasuki cheers and hugs Chichiri. "Hehe that's better," he says smiling.
Chichiri picks up his kasa and says winking, "C'mon Tas-chan, a shortcut out of this mess." They hopped into the kasa and re-appeared in Konan.
"Ano...Tas-chan...I was wondering, would you like to come travelling with me, no da?" Chichiri asked, smiling.
Tasuki grinned. "Of course I would, Chiri-chan! Anything ta be with you..." he whispered, wrapping his arms around Chichiri's waist.
The two drew closer and passionatly kissed. They lived the rest of their lives together, happily ever after.
THE END!!!
Please exit the theater, and don't forget your coats! Oh yeah, if the wallets in your coats mysteriously disappreared, we're innocent. We don't have 'em. *whistle*
WARNING: This is yet another fic doing the whole "Another Horrible Tragedy Being Taken by Hollywood to Make it a Romantic Flick" thing so...you have been warned! Attack of the spoof!
Note from Tifa: We had a LOT of fun writing this. *snicker* I hope ya enjoy this fic! Just be warned, it's full of crazyness and quite a bit of shounen-ai (whaddya expect, I haven't written/been part of writing a non-shounen ai fic in months). Buy your popcorn, sit down, and enjoy the show!
Written by: SuperSatoshi, DJ Tifa, and Kai_Li
__________________________________________________________________
It was a bright and sunny day, and here, in a port in some land, or something, lands a big ship. It's supposed to be a kick-ass ship, apparently God himself can't sink it! Pfft, what idiots. God can't destroy a man-made creation? How stupid!
On the dock near the big-ass ship, a carriage pulled up. It stopped and the door opened. A woman stepped out--hey, isn't that Nuriko? Anyway...
Another man stepped out...looks like...Tamahome? What's he doing here? ...Oh well.
The last person to step out was another woman, but younger than the first one. *squint* Hey...she looks familiar...WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S CHICHIRI! WHAT'S HE DOING DRESSING LIKE A GIRL?!
Nuriko tries to flatten her ruffles on her dress with no success. Chichiri yawns and look around. Tamahome is busy...counting his money.
A loud shout is heard and you see a man with flaming orange hair running through the crowd pushing a buncha people aside. "Woooo!! I got a ticket!!" the young man screamed.
"Mwa ha ha ha! I stole it all for myself! It is all mine! WAHAHAHA, I love being a thief! Now, I will escape on this ship, so I do not get caught, and get thrown to jail! WAHAHA, I am BRILLIANT!" he replied, dashing away.
"Mom....are you sure we have to go on this ship?" Chichiri asked. Nuriko sighed and said, "Of course dear. We're going to America!" Nuriko then leaped up and down happily. Chichiri sweatdropped.
"Come along, honey..." Tamahome almost looked green having to call Chichiri that, "we'd better get going on the ship already..."
The captain of the big-ass ship stepped out from his quarters and greeted the passengers as they boarded it. The young man with the flaming orange hair leaped onto the ship past Chichiri. Chichiri frowned and glared at the hooligan and yelled, "Watch where you're going lower classman!"
"What'd you say?!" the guy with the flaming orange hair screamed.
"Your clothes are obviously horrifically classed, there is no way that YOU could be rich..."
"How could you be so sure? I DID manage to steal Bill Gates' wallet once," he replied, grinning.
"So you are just a horrible thief. Hmph," Chichiri replied, walking away.
"What a bitch..." Tasuki grumbled and walked off.
While Chichiri was away, the guy with the flaming orange hair sneaked into the first class dining room. He snatched a few morsels here and there tasting everything he could get his hands on.
Afterwards, he dashed away into the main hall, and looked inside his sack, which obtained some of the things he had swiped.
"Yuck," he commented, throwing away the chicken leg. "Too raw." He then looked at a small jar of caviar. "Sick," he threw that away as well.
He then pulled out a very expensive bottle of champagne. Wow, how'd he get that? He took a small sip. "Geez! This stuff is weak!" He then threw it, hearing a shattering sound with a woman's scream following afterward.
Chichiri screamed as the champagne bottle hit his (her?) mother's face. "Ahhh! Mother! Are you okay?" Chichiri asked.
"So many rude people here! Hmph!" Nuriko muttered angrily, "Hmm? Oh yes dear I'm fine..."
"Who in blazes would be ever so rude enough to throw a champagne bottle?" Chichiri asks. "It's asking for trouble."
"You are right, my dear, but come, let's get inside and get some dinner."
"Mother, are you certain that you are all right?"
"Yes, yes, dear, I'm fine, I'll get a quick dinner...and possibly a few dozen asprin to cure this awful headache..."
Chichiri and Nuriko walked into the dining room. Their eyes widened at the site of eaten food tossed carelessly all over the place. Broken plates littered the floor. A few sake bottles could be seen lying under the table cloths. Waiters yell at each other wondering who would leave such a mess.
"This ship is becoming less appealing to me every moment I stand here," Nuriko commented.
"Come, let us go to our room for a rest," Chichiri offered. "We can't stay here while there's a horrible mess here..."
Nuriko started heading towards the room. Chichiri thought for a moment, then headed out to the back of the ship. He stood at the very edge, looking down. Time seemed to slow to a standstill.
"DAMN IT! Why do I get picked to play a suicidal character, no da?!" he whined.
Time returned to its normal pace as Tasuki runs by, ramming into Chichiri. Chichiri nearly loses his balance and is about to fall over into the water, but Tasuki grabs Chichiri by his/her dress just in time.
"Ahhh, no da!" Chichiri screams in terror.
"Bah you're heavy! Stop scre--oof!" Tasuki gasped. The two are seen in an...interesting position (o.O;; )
"Are you saying I'm fat, no da?!" Chichiri exclaimed.
"Um, no, it's just that...oh forget it, just get off before somebody sees--"
There was a loud gasp. "Chichiri?! What in blazes do you think you're doing?!" Nuriko exclaims, before turning her attention to Tasuki. "And YOU, what do you think you're doing?! Trying to rape my daughter?!"
"Um, no, ma'am, she's on top of me, and we are fully clothed..."
Nuriko stood still in silence for a few brief moments. "Whatever. Chichiri, come, you must get away from this scum..."
Nuriko pulled Chichiri away, back to the 1st class place thing. Chichiri cast one more glance at Tasuki, who gave a small smile and waved.
A few minutes later, Tasuki blinked. "Damn. She's...something. But...is she really a SHE?! I coulda sworn that--ah, forget it, too confusin'...damn upper class people..." he said to himself.
Nuriko lectures Chichiri about how he/she should only be around and communicate with upper-class citizens. "Talking to lower class citizens doesn't do us any good! They're dirty and unmannerly," Nuriko tells Chichiri.
Chichiri stares blankly at the wall wondering when all this boring talk is going to end. Chichiri wonders about how life would be like if he/she was a lower-class citizen.
Tasuki walked out of the dining room, sipping a full bottle of champagne. "Now THIS is good stuff..." As he turned his head, he spotted Chichiri, staring at him from a higher level of the ship.
He/she then turned to walk away, as Tasuki began to climb up the stairs to try and reach him/her in time. "Wait! Please! I want to talk to you!"
"I can't, my mother won't let me, no da."
"To hell with your mother! I wanna talk to ya!" Tasuki exlaimed.
Chichiri sighed nervously and stated, "Well...I guess it can't hurt, no da...."
Tasuki fidgeted a bit and said, "Uh...well...I was just kinda wondering...if you would like to go to a party with me in the 3rd class party room? I mean, you dun have ta...but I can see how ya kinda dun like your lifestyle much. Maybe ya should try something different? So, whaddya say?"
Chichiri secretly smiles and says, "I'll think about it."
Tasuki's eyes widen in disbelief and exclaims, "Well, I hope ya decide to come! It's going to be really fun, ya know!" Tasuki laughs and grins.
Chichiri chuckles and tells Tasuki, "I have to go now. Goodbye...umm...what was your name?"
Tasuki blinks and replies, "Tasuki, yours?"
Chichiri says, "Chichiri. It was nice to meet you, Tasuki. Farewell now."
So, skipping all of the boring dialogue within the next hour or so, Chichiri DOES decide to go to the party. He/she has a blast, and even danced with Tasuki a few times!
They eventually found themselves running away from Chichiri's mother, for if she was found...nobody would be happy. Especially Tamahome, who wants to marry him/her.
"Wow, look at all of these cars!" Tasuki yells in complete, total shock. "They're beauties! I wish I had one like these..."
Tasuki runs up to a car and marvels at it. He pokes at the side mirrors and kicks the car's tires. "I was hoping one of 'em would fall apart..oh well," Tasuki says shruging.
Chichiri giggles and walks up to a navy blue car. He/She enters it and sits down on one of the leathery seats. "Ooh, this is comfortable," Chichiri says.
Tasuki sits down next to Chichiri.
* * *
A large hand swipes down the foggy window, wiping away excess fog from the steam inside of the car. "Geez," Tasuki begins, "we've been in here for twenty seconds and the car's already steamed up."
"Yep, that's all we've been doing, no da. Sitting on our butts, no da."
"For some reason, I feel that something was supposed to happen here..."
Driven by some weird sensation, Tasuki wraps his arms around Chichiri's waist and pulls Chichiri closer to him. Chichiri stares into Tasuki's eyes. The two engage into a deep kiss, their soft lips caressing each other.
The two eventually broke away for some much needed air. "Ta-Tasuki...I...." Chichiri started. Tasuki cut him off with a kiss. "Chiri...we've only known each other for a short while...but I...I'm in love with ya..." he whispered.
A smile spread across Chichiri's face. "I...I love you too, Tasuki...." The two were leaning in for another kiss when Chichiri pulled back abruptly.
"Ano...Tas-chan? There's uh...something about me that I don't think you know, no da..." Chichiri whispered nervously.
"Ne...? What?" asked Tasuki.
"A-ano...ne....uh....I'm...I'm....I'm a guy..." Chichiri mumbled softly, a blush crossing his face.
Tasuki stared for a moment in shock. Then everything just happened to make perfect sense. Cause I said it does. Yeah.
Tasuki shrugged and embraced Chichiri again. "I don't mind, Chiri. I don't like women much anyways....anyways, makes it all the more interesting," he said with a wink that bordered on suggestive.
The two kissed deeply again, wrapping their arms around each other. Tasuki grinned and pushed Chichiri down on his back, kissing him again, letting his hands roam Chichiri's body.
* * *
After the giant meditation fest, *cough*, the two decide to move out to the dock of the ship. Chichiri ran to the bow and spread his arms out. "Looky me, no da! I'm flying!"
"Yeah...that's really great..."
"Oh my GOD!" the captain exclaimed. "There's a gigantic sushi box in our way, we can't avoid it in time!"
"Oh no!" some of the crew replied.
Miaka suddenly pops in and says, "I'll save you all!!" and she pounced onto the sushi box and starts munching rapidly. The sushi box decreases in size at 1000cm/sec. The people on the ship scream, "Yay! We're saved!"
Miaka belches loudly and jumps onto the ship grinning. "There ya go! I'm full now...see ya!" she waves and poofs away.
Everyone thought they were saved..when all of a sudden...an iceberg appeared out of nowhere and the ship crashed into it! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
If you have an ounce of common sense, you'll know the ensuing events. Ship goes bye bye! People go bye bye!
Tasuki and Chichiri sat on a floating piece of board, which thankfully, was big enough for the both of them. "The hell happened?!" Tasuki complained. "How'd the damn ship sink?"
Chichiri looks around, screaming for his mother. "Well, I guess she's gone forever," Chichiri says looking at Tasuki.
"Woooo!!" Tasuki says grinning.
Chichiri chuckles and looks around for survivors.
Tasuki asks Chichiri, "Hey, don't you feel weird in that fancy dress?"
Chichiri looks at himself and says, "You're right no da! Lemme change back into normal clothing..." A fog of smoke covers Chichiri and he now has on his regular monkish clothing.
Tasuki cheers and hugs Chichiri. "Hehe that's better," he says smiling.
Chichiri picks up his kasa and says winking, "C'mon Tas-chan, a shortcut out of this mess." They hopped into the kasa and re-appeared in Konan.
"Ano...Tas-chan...I was wondering, would you like to come travelling with me, no da?" Chichiri asked, smiling.
Tasuki grinned. "Of course I would, Chiri-chan! Anything ta be with you..." he whispered, wrapping his arms around Chichiri's waist.
The two drew closer and passionatly kissed. They lived the rest of their lives together, happily ever after.
THE END!!!
Please exit the theater, and don't forget your coats! Oh yeah, if the wallets in your coats mysteriously disappreared, we're innocent. We don't have 'em. *whistle*