Chapter Nine: Four Years Later

Four years have passed since Ariel came into my life. I'm now twenty living on my own with Ariel, with Kojiro down the hallway in our apartment building. It's been scary, I'll admit. If I had a yen for every time I thought she'd come down with some deadly disease or was in severe danger, I'd be a very rich person. VERY rich.

Being a parent has changed me. I never knew that the common apartment could be such a danger zone for a small child. My apartment has been completely child proofed, which is virtually unnoticeable. There are special "locks" on the cabinets containing the cleaners and other chemicals, plastic plugs in the electrical sockets, sometimes Kojiro think that I'm over-cautious. I invited him to take care of Ariel for a day and he declined, getting my point.

Ariel is my carbon copy, only smaller and female. Kojiro used to joke and call her "Mini-Cye" after Mini-Me from the second Austin Powers movie. Ariel has my love for the sea, but she's got a love for art that I never had. My bedroom could have chipped, peeling walls and you wouldn't know it since Ariel's art works wallpaper my room and our refrigerator. Once, her love for art got her to create a mural on the wall. You'd be surprised how much one two year old with paints can do in the time it takes to take one shower, brush your teeth, and dry your hair. I'll admit, the mural was colorful and it didn't look that bad (It was of a beach) but it did not look nice in the hallway. God bless latex house paint.

Kojiro and I picked up jobs waiting at a local restaurant. I have received some very interesting tips over the past four years: little origami dollar bills, coupons for groceries, a contraceptive, eight phone numbers, and a tiny little teddy bear that you can fit in the palm of your hand.

I know what you're thinking; did I ever call the numbers or the other thing? Nope, tossed all nine items. Girls at school avoided me because they didn't want the responsibility of Ariel if things ever got serious, and the other boys at school were cruel. Some of the names they called me I dare not repeat. Most were just confused as to why I was raising Ariel and her mother wasn't. Kojiro was the only one that was really friends with me.

Well, not quite. I was friends with a few of the teenage mothers, and we exchanged stories and advice on raising kids. They were all very nice, and all regretted their poor decisions. But nothing ever came of them romantically. If so, we'd both need to find baby-sitters, people might start to notice us a little more than usual, and quite frankly, I didn't want a lot of attention. I've always been shy (Kento used to call me Shy Cye and use it as a tongue twister) and all the attention I got every morning when I dropped Ariel off at the school's daycare I'd get mocks, insults, and sometimes spit balls thrown at me. Ariel doesn't understand any of it yet. Thank goodness.

The first two years were the most difficult. High school wasn't easy, but I promised myself I'd graduate high school so I'd have a degree. I graduated tenth in class. Having Ariel not only made studying harder, but it innovated me. My innovation before had just been to graduate to go to college and get a good job, nothing more. Now I had that and I had to get the good job to support my daughter.

College has been easier. The other students are more understanding of my situation and nicer about it, but the girls still stayed away (There are always other fish in the sea). I'm studying to be a marine biologist and Kojiro's studying computer technology. We're both going to a small community college in the northern end of Tokyo and trying to have fun. A lot of my professors are extremely impressed that I'm able to manage raising Ariel and my classes, plus my job. Still, paying off tuition has been VERY difficult.

One of the most difficult and heart wrenching things is that I had severed all of my ties to my friends and family. I was embarrassed and ashamed to go back to them. The guys would surely give me a huge lecture, and the fact I ran away wouldn't help. Mia would have my head, plain and simple.

As for my family, my mother would be so upset with me. Even if it wasn't my fault or idea, I just couldn't face her. She'd be heartbroken that I couldn't defend myself that night. Sae, I didn't know what she'd say. Probably something rude about how I was a horn dog or something.

Still, I had to do what I had to do. One day I'd have to tell my mother, at least, even if it meant she disowned me.

It all started one morning. I got up, yawned, stretched, went into the bathroom, took a shower, got cleaned up, went back into my room, got dressed, checked on Ariel (Still asleep) and went into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast. Typical morning in our apartment.

Ariel was up minutes later. "Morning, Daddy," she said in English (Note: Ariel DOES have a British accent). For the most part the two of us conversed in English, but outside of just the two of us we spoke Japanese. It took me forever to get her to speak both languages. But she'll be excellent in foreign languages because of it. Just think, my little girl, the UN ambassador. Okay, okay, maybe that was going a little TOO far.

"Morning, sweetheart," I replied, picking her up. I ran my hands through her hair, and she giggled. "Have a good night's sleep?"

"Uh huh, I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?" she said.

"Eggs and bacon with scones, jam, and butter," I said.

"Yummy," she said. I looked over at her and smiled. She was wearing a little pink nightgown, sea green eyes looking back at me. Her hair was a mess in a loose ponytail, and she yawned, opening her mouth wide.

"Nice tonsils," I said, putting her down. Ariel made a face and stomped off.

"Meanie!" she said.

"I'm just-"

"I know, you're just teasing, when I'm big like you, I'll have my revenge and I'LL BE THE MEANIE!" she said.

"You wouldn't do that to your old man, would you?" I said.

"You're not old and wrinkly, you're young and handsome," she said from around the corner.

"Thank you for the compliment," I said with a laugh. Young and handsome, was I? Then why wasn't I being hit on by every other woman that walked down the street? I shoved that thought out of my head. I was turning into Sage, and I hadn't even seen the guy in four years!

Ariel went to get dressed, but she stopped short. "Daddy?" she asked.

"Yes, sweetie?" I asked.

"I see the other kids at day care. They all have these ladies come to pick them up and they call them mommies. I see mommies on TV a lot, too. Why don't I have a mommy, too?" asked Ariel.

My heart sank. I still hadn't found the courage to tell her about her mother. Okay, naturally I wasn't going to say that her mother raped me, but I couldn't tell her that her mother left us alone that night. I turned back to breakfast so Ariel wouldn't see the tears. I always told her crying was okay, but I didn't want her to see me crying over this.

"Daddy?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm all right," I said. "I just need a little time alone, that's all." Ariel shrugged and went back to her room to get dressed. I narrowed my eyes. I could tell that things were only going to get harder know that Ariel was asking questions about her mother. What could I tell her? She was too young to understand why she never met her mother. Why I'm not married to anyone. I knew that the time to start telling her these things was close at hand. Was I ready for it?

More importantly, was Ariel ready for it?