Sorry for the long wait everyone! Real life is SO annoying! It's been a
while, but it's worth it! ( Many Kudos to Kali Gargoyle for her help in
editing my story!
Chapter Nine!
Splinter entered the study, closing the door behind him. Leonardo and Donatello sat quietly, each shooting looks of resentment toward each other. They both looked up as Splinter took his seat on the large cushion on the floor. He sat for a moment, centering his thoughts and focusing on the issue of concern. Then, he opened his eyes and looked at his two sons sitting before him.
"Rather than discussing the current situation at hand, we are going to talk about what had happened the day that the dog had come after you two."
"Master?" The two turtles said, confused as to why.
"Neither of you told us what happened", Splinter explained, "now we are going to find out the events of the story—the entire story."
Splinter was about to say something else when he heard a soft noise from outside the door. He frowned as he quickly knew who it was…
"Raphael and Michaelangelo, come into the room at once", Splinter said firmly. A second or two later, Mike and Raph hesitantly entered the room, shamefaced from being caught trying to listen in on the conversation. Splinter looked at them in silent admonishment, and then regarded them all carefully. He thought for a moment and then indicated for Mike and Raph to sit down as well.
"I believe that since this involves all of us, we shall all be part of this little 'family meeting'", Splinter said.
Donatello felt a sudden dread wash over him. He wished that he were anywhere but in that room right now. Having all his brothers there as well made it even worse. He knew there would be no way to escape the fact that he had been caught lying, and he knew that what was eventually coming to him was going to be well-deserved. The sudden sound of his name caught him off-guard, and he shrank a little as he looked up to Splinter.
"Donatello, please tell us, from the beginning, what happened that afternoon", his father said to him," and do not leave anything out." Donnie nodded obediently, and with a hidden sigh, started to tell the nightmare that had been plaguing him for the past week.
"Well, we were all playing tag", Don said uneasily, "I guess we weren't looking where we were going… We were all chasing each other around… I thought I could get away, but then Mike caught up with me over near the conduit pi-" Don immediately clamped his mouth shut and cast his eyes to the floor. Splinter's eyes snapped towards his direction, and he frowned slightly.
"The conduit pipe?" their master said as he looked at each of the turtles, "You all know better that that pipe is very much out of the limits that I gave to you."
"We know we're not allowed to go that far, but it was an accident", Don confessed, "We didn't realize how far we went 'til we saw the pipe." The young turtle was obviously embarrassed, his face darkening to a reddish hue. The Sensei brought his hand under his student's chin, lifted his face and looked straight into his eyes.
"I am sure you didn't disobey the rule on purpose, but there is no excuse for not being careful of your surroundings. I will discuss that with all of you at a later time, but now… continue telling what happened," Splinter told the young turtle, pulling his hand back.
Donatello's entire body trembled from nerves, and he wished that the ground beneath him would swallow him up. He didn't want to talk about the attack, especially in front of his brothers, but he knew Splinter would not take no for an answer.
"Well, me and—I mean, Mike and I saw where we were and started to go back, when the dog came out from the corner and started growling at us", Donnie continued, "that was when Raph and Leo caught up to us. They told us we had gone out of the boundary lines when—when the dog came after us." Donnie felt sick to his stomach, like he was going to throw up. He folded his arms, hoping for the nausea to pass.
"Is Donatello's assessment of the attack correct?" Splinter asked the other three turtles. When they nodded yes, Splinter then turned back to Donatello. There was a slight pause, and Don grew nervous.
"Now…we will talk about the lying." Donnie kept his gaze downward, too frightened to see the look on his Master's face. The silence in the room was deafening, until Splinter spoke.
"Donatello, is it true that you lied about not knowing the events of the attack", Splinter said, sounding more as a statement than a question. As Donatello had just demonstrated, he knew everything that had happened. Sadly, Don nodded.
" Hai, Sensei." At that answer, Splinter asked another question.
"Is it true that you lied about Raphael stealing your blanket last night, to avoid the penalties for fighting?"
"Hai, Sensei", he replied slowly. The shock on his brother's faces increased as the questioning continued. Splinter frowned slightly and pressed on.
"Is it true that you lied to your brother about telling me the truth?"
Donnie wouldn't—he couldn't…but he had to tell the truth. He hated the audience of his brothers, but he knew there was no escaping it. After an infinite second, he slowly nodded his head, and answered:
"Hai, Sensei."
Splinter sat back, breathing out slowly, thinking. 'This astonishes me. I could never imagine Donatello ever being so dishonest. He has always told me the truth, even if it resulted in him being punished for doing something he shouldn't have. There must be a hidden motive, but what…?'
Splinter looked down at his son and then looked to the others. Donatello was due for a good talking-to, and they needed to do so alone.
"Leonardo, Raphael and Michaelangelo, you are dismissed. Go to bed and get some rest, it is late."
The brothers looked almost disappointed to miss what was going to happen, but they knew better than to argue. They stood, bowed, and left the room, leaving Donatello sitting alone before their not-very-pleased father.
Once Splinter was sure that they were gone, he turned a stern eye towards his son. Donatello felt the nausea kick back in, and tried to face his Master, but it was hard...
"Why did you lie to me about what happened? Out of the four of you, you are the one I would least expect to do such a thing as to lie," Splinter scolded, looking at his son in disappointment. Donnie tried to look up, but his eyes wouldn't let him.
'This is it', Don thought to himself, 'I'm gonna get punished for lying AND for what happened to Leo. I'm probably gonna get shamed, or put on display as a lesson, or… or… no, he wouldn't send me away…would he?'
Donatello knew that Leonardo was, in a sense, the gifted son that Splinter always approved of. Always practicing, always listening, always trying for perfection. Would something like this result in him being forced to—to leave?!
He was thinking to himself so much that he didn't hear his master say his name. A sharp clack sound brought him out of his trance. Splinter had snapped his fingers to get his student's attention back. Splinter sighed and Donnie lowered his head.
"Donatello, I am not pleased with you for what you have done. You know what you did was wrong, and so you must be punished for that," Splinter told him. Donatello nodded his head slowly and sighed sadly.
"I'm sorry Master, I just- I didn't mean- please don't send me away," Donnie said before he broke down sobbing. He drew his legs up, resting his head on his knees and cried, unable to stop the flow of tears. He felt like everything was crashing down around him. He felt as though he was a failure to his family, and didn't deserve anything but to be put to shame for his behavior.
He shrank back as he felt hands lift him, but gave in as the strong grip kept hold. He sat with his father much like he had done only a few days ago, but this time he did not feel comfort there- he felt like a disgrace. He couldn't dare to look into his master's eyes for fear of what he might say.
"Donatello, where did you ever get an idea such as that? I would never send any of you away, no matter what you have done," Splinter said, still having a kind of shocked look about him. Donnie wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at his father. He had a look of both surprise and sympathy.
"You *sniff* you wouldn't? I thought after I let that dog hurt Leo-" Donnie stopped in mid-sentence, hoping that Splinter hadn't heard that last remark. He heard him however, and turned his son to face him.
"Donatello, are you blaming yourself for what happened to Leonardo?" Splinter asked in a hushed voice. Donnie looked away and nodded. The Sensei sighed softly as he quickly figured out what was going on with his son.
"That is why you have been having nightmares since the attack," Splinter presumed, "you feel as though it was yourself who caused the dog to attack your brother. That is also why you did not want me to find out." Donnie looked up in surprise.
"You knew? But how-" Donnie stuttered before his master silenced him.
"A father always knows when one of his children is hiding something from him," Splinter eyed him, "and a father also knows when his child going through something that they know they cannot handle all alone."
"I-I was scared that you were gonna be angry with me for what happened to Leo. I didn't know what you would do once you found out," Donnie admitted uncomfortably.
"My son, never feel guilty for something that is not of your control. I am not angry with you because you couldn't help your brother," Splinter told him gently, "What did you think I was going to do?"
Donnie blushed lightly and fidgeted with his mask tails. He was uncomfortable about the topic in question, but even more embarrassed about his answer.
"I—um, I thought you were gonna—I don't know. Sh-shame me, or use me as an ex- example for the others, or—or…" Donnie couldn't finish his sentence.
"You thought I was going to punish you and send you away, didn't you," Splinter quietly finished for him. Donnie could feel his face become redder, and he nodded slightly.
"No, no I would never do that. I care about you far too much to ever think of doing such a thing", Splinter told him reassuringly. The young turtle bit his quivering lower lip, feeling the tearful sobs return. Splinter embraced him, rocking slowly. He could see the torment his son was going through, and wished there were some way that he could make it all go away.
"I thought what I did was unforgivable", Donnie whispered between sniffs, "I thought you would be mad at me for what I had done."
"What exactly did you do that would be considered 'unforgivable?" Splinter questioned him.
"Well, it was—letting the dog attack Leo…isn't it?" Don answered uncertainly.
"You did not 'let' the dog hurt Leonardo, my son," Splinter replied, shaking his head, "the only individual who could have prevented anything from occurring was the dog itself... not you."
"But, I—I thought it was me. My ankle, and if I hadn't—then Leo wouldn't have had to—".
"No, listen to me now, my son. You are not at any fault for the attack. The confrontation with the dog was inevitable", Splinter said, tilting his son's face to look into his eyes, "Your feelings of guilt and fear are what are causing you so much anguish. You need to let them go and not blame yourself".
"It's so hard though. I can't stop dreaming about what had happened," Don said sadly, " I haven't slept good at all since the attack."
Splinter patted his shell understandingly and continued to talk, feeling the tension slowly leaving his son.
"Guilt does that to you. It makes you feel like you did something wrong, though it may not be true, and you get this uneasy feeling about yourself", Splinter explained, "like that strange feeling you have in the pit of your stomach." There was no hiding anything from Splinter. " It is not something to be ashamed of. Everyone feels some sort of guilt sometimes. Leonardo himself is feeling a bit of guilt about what had happened. He mentioned it to me early this morning."
"You saw him awake?" Donnie said in surprise.
"Yes, much to my relief," Splinter nodded, "I had gone into my study to check on him one last time, and I found him attempting to sit up. He told me some of what had happened. He also told me about you going into the study to see him during the middle of the night."
Donnie's eyes popped open and he glanced up at his Sensei sheepishly. 'Splinter knew I went into the study', Donatello thought morosely, 'Great, now I'm in even more trouble now'. Splinter cleared his throat, and Donnie looked up at him.
"You know not to go into my study when I am not there. But, since your intentions were merely out of concern, I will not be critical of it. But as I was saying, Leonardo told a small amount of what had happened. He also told me of how he felt guilty about letting the dog get the better of him…and not being able to keep you from getting hurt."
"Really? I didn't know that," Donnie replied quietly.
"He did," Splinter nodded, "I will tell you what I told him. I told Leonardo that he should not feel sorry for what had happened. Understand Donatello, neither of you are at fault for the dog attack. The dog was much larger than both of you and much stronger. There wasn't anything either of you could have done to stop the attack from occurring. Sometimes, things just do not go in our favor. I myself have felt some guilt, once in a while, about many things."
"You have? But I thought you never did anything wrong," Donnie said, his red teary eyes wide in surprise. Splinter held back a smile and shook his head.
"No my son. I myself am not free of fault or mistakes. I just choose to look at them as a new opportunity to learn. That is how life is: you take it one step at a time and learn what you can from your mistakes. 'Possess the right thinking. Only then can you receive the gifts of strength, knowledge…and peace'. Do you understand, Donatello?"
"Yes Sensei," Donnie said, bowing his head, "I'm sorry about not telling you the truth."
"Your guilt and fear is most likely what persuaded you to not be honest with what you said. However, you need to own up to what you did wrong, and be punished for it", Splinter said, eyeing his young son.
"Yes, Sensei", Donnie said sadly.
The Sensei was not one to be lenient with liars, and made his point quite clearly. He took his son over his knee and prepared to deal out the punishment. Splinter hated doing this part of the castigation. Spanking was more an embarrassing ordeal for the child than a correcting one. But, he knew that this was the sternest punishment he could give, and it was one that the turtles did not make light of. He paused for a second to think, and then he continued with his fatherly duty.
Donatello knew what was coming. He tensed, ready for the penalty that he thought he was getting, when he only received about five 'not-really- painful' swats instead of the usual ten that was given. Once the punishment was done, a blushing Donatello sat in his place again and looked up at his master in confusion. Wasn't the consequence for lying always the same? Why did he make it different? Donnie wasn't sure what to say.
"You are wondering why I did not punish you as sternly as I normally would?" Splinter could see his confusion.
"I- I don't understand—well, I mean, I understand the question, I just don't—I don't know—" Donnie stuttered, " Well, I know it's usually—I mean, the punishment is *gulp* is always, um—"
"Yes, in most cases, I give you--and your brothers--a spanking whenever you are caught or guilty of being dishonest," Splinter started after silencing his son, " However, in this case, your lying was brought on by your guilt and fear of being punished for something that was not your fault. That, I took under consideration."
Donnie felt his face get hotter, and Splinter could see his student's face turning a deeper shade of crimson. The rat smiled sympathetically at his young and embarrassed son.
"I also knew that you could not handle being punished in front of your brothers, because of how easily you get embarrassed," Splinter said, tapping his reddened face lightly. Don gave his Sensei a timid smile and nodded slightly.
"The reason I did punish you was because you let your lying go much too far," Splinter eyed his son, " You should have told the truth. I would have understood."
Donatello nodded and fidgeted a little. " I was too scared of what you would think. I thought you would be disappointed with me," He explained.
"I am more disappointed in the fact that rather than coming forward and telling me what was going on, you decided either to say nothing or to lie. You can always come and talk to me if something is troubling you. That is what a parent is for, my son", Splinter said softly, " to guide you in life and to make sure you choose the right path—and learn from your mistakes. Understand?"
Donatello nodded lightly and hugged his Sensei. He could now feel the uneasy feeling disappear, and the weight being lifted from his shoulders. His feelings of guilt were now gone.
"Yes, Master. I feel better about the guilt, but I'm still a little nervous about that dog," Donnie said quietly.
"I know, my son. Your fear of dogs is quite strong," Splinter replied kindly, " I do not believe we need to worry about the dog revisiting anytime soon."
"Why is that?" Donnie asked. Splinter adjusted himself on the cushion and looked at his son intently.
"Well, when I was returning from this afternoon's collection, I saw the dog up near the surface. She was carrying something very important in her teeth. Can you guess what it was?"
"The blankets?" the young turtle suggested. The rat merely shook his head and smiled softly.
"She was carrying her pups", Splinter told him, "You see, Donatello, when you and your brothers had gone towards the conduit pipe, you were unknowingly getting dangerously close to her young. She thought that you had wanted to cause harm to them. That was why she attacked; she was worried for her children."
"Oh, kinda like—like how you worry about us", Donnie said with a crooked smile, "You always make sure that we stay safe."
"Correct", Splinter nodded, " She cares about her children just as I do about you and your brothers. Our reasons for doing what we do are very similar. We both want to make sure that our young ones are safe, and sometimes we must do something unpleasant to let you know we care about your safety."
Donnie nodded understandingly and suppressed a yawn. The exhaustion was quite apparent on the young turtle's face, so the Sensei decided that the lecture would thus draw to a close for the night.
"Now, it is late—and past your bedtime," Splinter told his young son.
"Already? Do I have to?" Donnie demurred.
"Yes you do", Splinter replied in mock admonishment, "sleep well, my son". He nudged his son from his lap and gave him a pat on the shell to get him going. Donatello bowed once and headed to his room. He went to bed, grateful that the whole messy ordeal was finally put to rest.
Chapter Nine!
Splinter entered the study, closing the door behind him. Leonardo and Donatello sat quietly, each shooting looks of resentment toward each other. They both looked up as Splinter took his seat on the large cushion on the floor. He sat for a moment, centering his thoughts and focusing on the issue of concern. Then, he opened his eyes and looked at his two sons sitting before him.
"Rather than discussing the current situation at hand, we are going to talk about what had happened the day that the dog had come after you two."
"Master?" The two turtles said, confused as to why.
"Neither of you told us what happened", Splinter explained, "now we are going to find out the events of the story—the entire story."
Splinter was about to say something else when he heard a soft noise from outside the door. He frowned as he quickly knew who it was…
"Raphael and Michaelangelo, come into the room at once", Splinter said firmly. A second or two later, Mike and Raph hesitantly entered the room, shamefaced from being caught trying to listen in on the conversation. Splinter looked at them in silent admonishment, and then regarded them all carefully. He thought for a moment and then indicated for Mike and Raph to sit down as well.
"I believe that since this involves all of us, we shall all be part of this little 'family meeting'", Splinter said.
Donatello felt a sudden dread wash over him. He wished that he were anywhere but in that room right now. Having all his brothers there as well made it even worse. He knew there would be no way to escape the fact that he had been caught lying, and he knew that what was eventually coming to him was going to be well-deserved. The sudden sound of his name caught him off-guard, and he shrank a little as he looked up to Splinter.
"Donatello, please tell us, from the beginning, what happened that afternoon", his father said to him," and do not leave anything out." Donnie nodded obediently, and with a hidden sigh, started to tell the nightmare that had been plaguing him for the past week.
"Well, we were all playing tag", Don said uneasily, "I guess we weren't looking where we were going… We were all chasing each other around… I thought I could get away, but then Mike caught up with me over near the conduit pi-" Don immediately clamped his mouth shut and cast his eyes to the floor. Splinter's eyes snapped towards his direction, and he frowned slightly.
"The conduit pipe?" their master said as he looked at each of the turtles, "You all know better that that pipe is very much out of the limits that I gave to you."
"We know we're not allowed to go that far, but it was an accident", Don confessed, "We didn't realize how far we went 'til we saw the pipe." The young turtle was obviously embarrassed, his face darkening to a reddish hue. The Sensei brought his hand under his student's chin, lifted his face and looked straight into his eyes.
"I am sure you didn't disobey the rule on purpose, but there is no excuse for not being careful of your surroundings. I will discuss that with all of you at a later time, but now… continue telling what happened," Splinter told the young turtle, pulling his hand back.
Donatello's entire body trembled from nerves, and he wished that the ground beneath him would swallow him up. He didn't want to talk about the attack, especially in front of his brothers, but he knew Splinter would not take no for an answer.
"Well, me and—I mean, Mike and I saw where we were and started to go back, when the dog came out from the corner and started growling at us", Donnie continued, "that was when Raph and Leo caught up to us. They told us we had gone out of the boundary lines when—when the dog came after us." Donnie felt sick to his stomach, like he was going to throw up. He folded his arms, hoping for the nausea to pass.
"Is Donatello's assessment of the attack correct?" Splinter asked the other three turtles. When they nodded yes, Splinter then turned back to Donatello. There was a slight pause, and Don grew nervous.
"Now…we will talk about the lying." Donnie kept his gaze downward, too frightened to see the look on his Master's face. The silence in the room was deafening, until Splinter spoke.
"Donatello, is it true that you lied about not knowing the events of the attack", Splinter said, sounding more as a statement than a question. As Donatello had just demonstrated, he knew everything that had happened. Sadly, Don nodded.
" Hai, Sensei." At that answer, Splinter asked another question.
"Is it true that you lied about Raphael stealing your blanket last night, to avoid the penalties for fighting?"
"Hai, Sensei", he replied slowly. The shock on his brother's faces increased as the questioning continued. Splinter frowned slightly and pressed on.
"Is it true that you lied to your brother about telling me the truth?"
Donnie wouldn't—he couldn't…but he had to tell the truth. He hated the audience of his brothers, but he knew there was no escaping it. After an infinite second, he slowly nodded his head, and answered:
"Hai, Sensei."
Splinter sat back, breathing out slowly, thinking. 'This astonishes me. I could never imagine Donatello ever being so dishonest. He has always told me the truth, even if it resulted in him being punished for doing something he shouldn't have. There must be a hidden motive, but what…?'
Splinter looked down at his son and then looked to the others. Donatello was due for a good talking-to, and they needed to do so alone.
"Leonardo, Raphael and Michaelangelo, you are dismissed. Go to bed and get some rest, it is late."
The brothers looked almost disappointed to miss what was going to happen, but they knew better than to argue. They stood, bowed, and left the room, leaving Donatello sitting alone before their not-very-pleased father.
Once Splinter was sure that they were gone, he turned a stern eye towards his son. Donatello felt the nausea kick back in, and tried to face his Master, but it was hard...
"Why did you lie to me about what happened? Out of the four of you, you are the one I would least expect to do such a thing as to lie," Splinter scolded, looking at his son in disappointment. Donnie tried to look up, but his eyes wouldn't let him.
'This is it', Don thought to himself, 'I'm gonna get punished for lying AND for what happened to Leo. I'm probably gonna get shamed, or put on display as a lesson, or… or… no, he wouldn't send me away…would he?'
Donatello knew that Leonardo was, in a sense, the gifted son that Splinter always approved of. Always practicing, always listening, always trying for perfection. Would something like this result in him being forced to—to leave?!
He was thinking to himself so much that he didn't hear his master say his name. A sharp clack sound brought him out of his trance. Splinter had snapped his fingers to get his student's attention back. Splinter sighed and Donnie lowered his head.
"Donatello, I am not pleased with you for what you have done. You know what you did was wrong, and so you must be punished for that," Splinter told him. Donatello nodded his head slowly and sighed sadly.
"I'm sorry Master, I just- I didn't mean- please don't send me away," Donnie said before he broke down sobbing. He drew his legs up, resting his head on his knees and cried, unable to stop the flow of tears. He felt like everything was crashing down around him. He felt as though he was a failure to his family, and didn't deserve anything but to be put to shame for his behavior.
He shrank back as he felt hands lift him, but gave in as the strong grip kept hold. He sat with his father much like he had done only a few days ago, but this time he did not feel comfort there- he felt like a disgrace. He couldn't dare to look into his master's eyes for fear of what he might say.
"Donatello, where did you ever get an idea such as that? I would never send any of you away, no matter what you have done," Splinter said, still having a kind of shocked look about him. Donnie wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at his father. He had a look of both surprise and sympathy.
"You *sniff* you wouldn't? I thought after I let that dog hurt Leo-" Donnie stopped in mid-sentence, hoping that Splinter hadn't heard that last remark. He heard him however, and turned his son to face him.
"Donatello, are you blaming yourself for what happened to Leonardo?" Splinter asked in a hushed voice. Donnie looked away and nodded. The Sensei sighed softly as he quickly figured out what was going on with his son.
"That is why you have been having nightmares since the attack," Splinter presumed, "you feel as though it was yourself who caused the dog to attack your brother. That is also why you did not want me to find out." Donnie looked up in surprise.
"You knew? But how-" Donnie stuttered before his master silenced him.
"A father always knows when one of his children is hiding something from him," Splinter eyed him, "and a father also knows when his child going through something that they know they cannot handle all alone."
"I-I was scared that you were gonna be angry with me for what happened to Leo. I didn't know what you would do once you found out," Donnie admitted uncomfortably.
"My son, never feel guilty for something that is not of your control. I am not angry with you because you couldn't help your brother," Splinter told him gently, "What did you think I was going to do?"
Donnie blushed lightly and fidgeted with his mask tails. He was uncomfortable about the topic in question, but even more embarrassed about his answer.
"I—um, I thought you were gonna—I don't know. Sh-shame me, or use me as an ex- example for the others, or—or…" Donnie couldn't finish his sentence.
"You thought I was going to punish you and send you away, didn't you," Splinter quietly finished for him. Donnie could feel his face become redder, and he nodded slightly.
"No, no I would never do that. I care about you far too much to ever think of doing such a thing", Splinter told him reassuringly. The young turtle bit his quivering lower lip, feeling the tearful sobs return. Splinter embraced him, rocking slowly. He could see the torment his son was going through, and wished there were some way that he could make it all go away.
"I thought what I did was unforgivable", Donnie whispered between sniffs, "I thought you would be mad at me for what I had done."
"What exactly did you do that would be considered 'unforgivable?" Splinter questioned him.
"Well, it was—letting the dog attack Leo…isn't it?" Don answered uncertainly.
"You did not 'let' the dog hurt Leonardo, my son," Splinter replied, shaking his head, "the only individual who could have prevented anything from occurring was the dog itself... not you."
"But, I—I thought it was me. My ankle, and if I hadn't—then Leo wouldn't have had to—".
"No, listen to me now, my son. You are not at any fault for the attack. The confrontation with the dog was inevitable", Splinter said, tilting his son's face to look into his eyes, "Your feelings of guilt and fear are what are causing you so much anguish. You need to let them go and not blame yourself".
"It's so hard though. I can't stop dreaming about what had happened," Don said sadly, " I haven't slept good at all since the attack."
Splinter patted his shell understandingly and continued to talk, feeling the tension slowly leaving his son.
"Guilt does that to you. It makes you feel like you did something wrong, though it may not be true, and you get this uneasy feeling about yourself", Splinter explained, "like that strange feeling you have in the pit of your stomach." There was no hiding anything from Splinter. " It is not something to be ashamed of. Everyone feels some sort of guilt sometimes. Leonardo himself is feeling a bit of guilt about what had happened. He mentioned it to me early this morning."
"You saw him awake?" Donnie said in surprise.
"Yes, much to my relief," Splinter nodded, "I had gone into my study to check on him one last time, and I found him attempting to sit up. He told me some of what had happened. He also told me about you going into the study to see him during the middle of the night."
Donnie's eyes popped open and he glanced up at his Sensei sheepishly. 'Splinter knew I went into the study', Donatello thought morosely, 'Great, now I'm in even more trouble now'. Splinter cleared his throat, and Donnie looked up at him.
"You know not to go into my study when I am not there. But, since your intentions were merely out of concern, I will not be critical of it. But as I was saying, Leonardo told a small amount of what had happened. He also told me of how he felt guilty about letting the dog get the better of him…and not being able to keep you from getting hurt."
"Really? I didn't know that," Donnie replied quietly.
"He did," Splinter nodded, "I will tell you what I told him. I told Leonardo that he should not feel sorry for what had happened. Understand Donatello, neither of you are at fault for the dog attack. The dog was much larger than both of you and much stronger. There wasn't anything either of you could have done to stop the attack from occurring. Sometimes, things just do not go in our favor. I myself have felt some guilt, once in a while, about many things."
"You have? But I thought you never did anything wrong," Donnie said, his red teary eyes wide in surprise. Splinter held back a smile and shook his head.
"No my son. I myself am not free of fault or mistakes. I just choose to look at them as a new opportunity to learn. That is how life is: you take it one step at a time and learn what you can from your mistakes. 'Possess the right thinking. Only then can you receive the gifts of strength, knowledge…and peace'. Do you understand, Donatello?"
"Yes Sensei," Donnie said, bowing his head, "I'm sorry about not telling you the truth."
"Your guilt and fear is most likely what persuaded you to not be honest with what you said. However, you need to own up to what you did wrong, and be punished for it", Splinter said, eyeing his young son.
"Yes, Sensei", Donnie said sadly.
The Sensei was not one to be lenient with liars, and made his point quite clearly. He took his son over his knee and prepared to deal out the punishment. Splinter hated doing this part of the castigation. Spanking was more an embarrassing ordeal for the child than a correcting one. But, he knew that this was the sternest punishment he could give, and it was one that the turtles did not make light of. He paused for a second to think, and then he continued with his fatherly duty.
Donatello knew what was coming. He tensed, ready for the penalty that he thought he was getting, when he only received about five 'not-really- painful' swats instead of the usual ten that was given. Once the punishment was done, a blushing Donatello sat in his place again and looked up at his master in confusion. Wasn't the consequence for lying always the same? Why did he make it different? Donnie wasn't sure what to say.
"You are wondering why I did not punish you as sternly as I normally would?" Splinter could see his confusion.
"I- I don't understand—well, I mean, I understand the question, I just don't—I don't know—" Donnie stuttered, " Well, I know it's usually—I mean, the punishment is *gulp* is always, um—"
"Yes, in most cases, I give you--and your brothers--a spanking whenever you are caught or guilty of being dishonest," Splinter started after silencing his son, " However, in this case, your lying was brought on by your guilt and fear of being punished for something that was not your fault. That, I took under consideration."
Donnie felt his face get hotter, and Splinter could see his student's face turning a deeper shade of crimson. The rat smiled sympathetically at his young and embarrassed son.
"I also knew that you could not handle being punished in front of your brothers, because of how easily you get embarrassed," Splinter said, tapping his reddened face lightly. Don gave his Sensei a timid smile and nodded slightly.
"The reason I did punish you was because you let your lying go much too far," Splinter eyed his son, " You should have told the truth. I would have understood."
Donatello nodded and fidgeted a little. " I was too scared of what you would think. I thought you would be disappointed with me," He explained.
"I am more disappointed in the fact that rather than coming forward and telling me what was going on, you decided either to say nothing or to lie. You can always come and talk to me if something is troubling you. That is what a parent is for, my son", Splinter said softly, " to guide you in life and to make sure you choose the right path—and learn from your mistakes. Understand?"
Donatello nodded lightly and hugged his Sensei. He could now feel the uneasy feeling disappear, and the weight being lifted from his shoulders. His feelings of guilt were now gone.
"Yes, Master. I feel better about the guilt, but I'm still a little nervous about that dog," Donnie said quietly.
"I know, my son. Your fear of dogs is quite strong," Splinter replied kindly, " I do not believe we need to worry about the dog revisiting anytime soon."
"Why is that?" Donnie asked. Splinter adjusted himself on the cushion and looked at his son intently.
"Well, when I was returning from this afternoon's collection, I saw the dog up near the surface. She was carrying something very important in her teeth. Can you guess what it was?"
"The blankets?" the young turtle suggested. The rat merely shook his head and smiled softly.
"She was carrying her pups", Splinter told him, "You see, Donatello, when you and your brothers had gone towards the conduit pipe, you were unknowingly getting dangerously close to her young. She thought that you had wanted to cause harm to them. That was why she attacked; she was worried for her children."
"Oh, kinda like—like how you worry about us", Donnie said with a crooked smile, "You always make sure that we stay safe."
"Correct", Splinter nodded, " She cares about her children just as I do about you and your brothers. Our reasons for doing what we do are very similar. We both want to make sure that our young ones are safe, and sometimes we must do something unpleasant to let you know we care about your safety."
Donnie nodded understandingly and suppressed a yawn. The exhaustion was quite apparent on the young turtle's face, so the Sensei decided that the lecture would thus draw to a close for the night.
"Now, it is late—and past your bedtime," Splinter told his young son.
"Already? Do I have to?" Donnie demurred.
"Yes you do", Splinter replied in mock admonishment, "sleep well, my son". He nudged his son from his lap and gave him a pat on the shell to get him going. Donatello bowed once and headed to his room. He went to bed, grateful that the whole messy ordeal was finally put to rest.