As You Like It-Hey Arnold Style
The Courtship of Helga and Rosalind
Hey people! Its finally winter break! Now I can type up a bunch of stuff. I'm working on about 4 stories at the moment, (no Anton, you cant read them yet) and this story is my top priority, after sleeping. I'm glad so many of you like it, and I hope you at least tried to read the play dialogue. I'm kinda running out of ideas for this story, and once again, I want an editor! My email address is on my bio, so email me PLEASE! By the way, I know the poems are bad, but I'm a writer, not a poet.
Groves High School was buzzing with the poetry that was now being published in the school newspaper every other day. It was so popular, Groves Weekly had decided to publish just poetry on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. All the girls thought themselves in love with Hopeless Heart and all the guys wanted to know how he captured their love. Meanwhile, Helga and Phoebe were coming up with a plan.
"Phoebe, we both know that it is impossible for me to tell him my true identity. But to know that he loves me, after all these years of loving him! Dear God, I can barely contain myself!"
"Helga, you must act rationally. You know what the W.P.A. said. They have reason to believe that someone is conspiring after your family."
"Oh all right. So how about if I approach him in my disguise."
"I don't know if that's such a good idea Helga. Who knows what could happen."
`But Phoebe, if I don't, oh this is impossible! I can't bear it any longer! Big Bob ruined my life just so he could get rid of one of his competitors. I've had to move, leave my school, friends, my name and everything! He cannot make me give up Arnold. I won't let him."
"Alright then Helga. I don't think it's that smart of an idea, but I know I can't stop you."
"Good. Okay, all we need now is a plan."
** Lunch that Day **
Helga, or Haley as we must now call her, looked around the crowded cafeteria for Arnold. She saw him walk in the doors, and set her plan in motion. She walked towards him, carrying a tray of food. Accidentally (or not), she ran in to him spilling her pop onto him.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed.
"Oh, it's all right."
"I don't think we've met. I'm Haley." It was a good thing Phoebe never told Arnold what Helga's new identity was.
"Arnold."
"Well it's nice to meet you. Do you want to sit down with me and my friend?"
"Sure, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to."
`He's buying this hook, line and sinker!' thought Helga. Phoebe ad a meeting with the college counselor, so Helga was sitting with Will and Erica and Maddie.
"Hey Will, this is Arnold."
"Yeah, hi." Will took an immediate dislike to Arnold, though he didn't know why.
"Hi Arnold. I'm Erica."
"And I'm Maddie."
"It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Said Erica. Erica and Maddie went back to their original conversation.
"So, who do you think Hopeless Heart really is? I think its Jack. He is so sweet, and he did get in A on that poem last year in English."
"Maybe, but I'm still going to say it was Kyle. But what I really want to know is who Helga is! I asked everyone, including some sophomores, and no one knows who it is!" Helga watched Arnold all through out this conversation. He became more and more agitated, and finally he got up and went over to one of the vending machines. She got up and followed him. Will watched all of this. He knew why he didn't like Arnold. It was because he had such a confident, nice air about him, and Will used to be known for that. Now he would be competing with Arnold for the affections of Haley.
"So, Arnold. How long have you been here?"
"About a week."
"Yeah, so I guess you've seen those poems, huh?"
"Uh huh."
"I wish I knew who wrote them. I know a perfect cure for falling out of love." This was all a part of Helga's plan.
"Really?"
"Yeah. But this guy is impossible to find."
"He's me."
"How's that?"
"He's me. I'm Hopeless Heart."
"Really? So who's Helga?"
"This girl I knew, back home. So will you help me?"
"Sure. Now here's the plan. You are going to pretend that I'm Helga, and you're going to do all things you would have done to Helga. Poems, sappy speeches, the works. Pretty soon, you'll get so sick of it that you'll decide it's not worth it, and you'll stop loving her." Arnold was incredulous whether this would actually work, but he was anxious to stop the pain in his heart. He still hadn't see Helga (no wonder) and he was beginning to doubt that she was there at all.
"Alright."
"Good, we can start after school. Meet me on the sidewalk in front at 2:30."
"Ok."
Phoebe drove home that day, without Arnold. He had explained to her the circumstances, as had Helga. She really hoped that everything would work out, though it seemed impossible. Apparently, Arnold's grandpa was going to pick him up later, so she didn't need to worry about him getting home.
**In front of school**
Helga was sitting on the steps, waiting for Arnold. He soon came, and said,
"Hi Haley."
"Oh no, you must call me Helga if this is going to work."
"Alright. Hey Helga."
"This is how you would talk to her, if you had a chance. Just `Hey Helga'? I doubt any one could love someone so stiff."
"Sorry, this is just kind of weird for me."
"Start over."
"Okay. Here goes. Hi Helga."
"Hi Arnold."
"I was wondering if you would let me show you something."
"What is it?"
"Well, I wrote you this poem."
"A poem?"
"Yeah. You see, I really like you."
"What?"
"Um, not like you, I, I love you."
"You love me?"
"Um, yeah."
"Let me see the poem."
And so began the courtship of Helga, though Arnold did not know that the poems and compliments were delivered to the right girl.
Here's some more dialogue. If you wouldn't mind, tell me if I'm wasting my time putting this up, if you aren't reading it. I like it, but that's just me. In this, Rosalind has met Orlando and says she will cure him of his love. The funny part, as you will find out, is that Rosalind is disguised as a boy, Ganymede.
ROSALIND
But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO
Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
ROSALIND
Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves
as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do: and
the reason why they are not so punished and cured
is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers
are in love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel.
ORLANDO
Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND
Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me
his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to
woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish
youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing
and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow,
inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles, for every
passion something and for no passion truly any
thing, as boys and women are for the most part
cattle of this colour; would now like him, now loathe
him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep
for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor
from his mad humour of love to a living humour of
madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of
the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic.
And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon
me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's
heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in't.
ORLANDO
I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND
I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind
and come every day to my cote and woo me.
ORLANDO
Now, by the faith of my love, I will: tell me
where it is.
ROSALIND
Go with me to it and I'll show it you and by the way
you shall tell me where in the forest you live.
Will you go?
ORLANDO
With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND
Nay you must call me Rosalind.
Well, that's it for now. I'm actually very proud of myself. I got two chapters out within one week of each other. Well, once again, review. I want to say thank you to a few reviewers. First of all, Houkanno Yuuhou for keeping me going, cause you really have been helpful to me, knowing that someone appreciated the Shakespeare aspect of the story. Second, Drama Girl 310, and of course, Kelsey and Anton. Ha, I'm laughing at myself. That sort of sounds like an Oscar's speech. Oh well.
The Courtship of Helga and Rosalind
Hey people! Its finally winter break! Now I can type up a bunch of stuff. I'm working on about 4 stories at the moment, (no Anton, you cant read them yet) and this story is my top priority, after sleeping. I'm glad so many of you like it, and I hope you at least tried to read the play dialogue. I'm kinda running out of ideas for this story, and once again, I want an editor! My email address is on my bio, so email me PLEASE! By the way, I know the poems are bad, but I'm a writer, not a poet.
Groves High School was buzzing with the poetry that was now being published in the school newspaper every other day. It was so popular, Groves Weekly had decided to publish just poetry on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. All the girls thought themselves in love with Hopeless Heart and all the guys wanted to know how he captured their love. Meanwhile, Helga and Phoebe were coming up with a plan.
"Phoebe, we both know that it is impossible for me to tell him my true identity. But to know that he loves me, after all these years of loving him! Dear God, I can barely contain myself!"
"Helga, you must act rationally. You know what the W.P.A. said. They have reason to believe that someone is conspiring after your family."
"Oh all right. So how about if I approach him in my disguise."
"I don't know if that's such a good idea Helga. Who knows what could happen."
`But Phoebe, if I don't, oh this is impossible! I can't bear it any longer! Big Bob ruined my life just so he could get rid of one of his competitors. I've had to move, leave my school, friends, my name and everything! He cannot make me give up Arnold. I won't let him."
"Alright then Helga. I don't think it's that smart of an idea, but I know I can't stop you."
"Good. Okay, all we need now is a plan."
** Lunch that Day **
Helga, or Haley as we must now call her, looked around the crowded cafeteria for Arnold. She saw him walk in the doors, and set her plan in motion. She walked towards him, carrying a tray of food. Accidentally (or not), she ran in to him spilling her pop onto him.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed.
"Oh, it's all right."
"I don't think we've met. I'm Haley." It was a good thing Phoebe never told Arnold what Helga's new identity was.
"Arnold."
"Well it's nice to meet you. Do you want to sit down with me and my friend?"
"Sure, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to."
`He's buying this hook, line and sinker!' thought Helga. Phoebe ad a meeting with the college counselor, so Helga was sitting with Will and Erica and Maddie.
"Hey Will, this is Arnold."
"Yeah, hi." Will took an immediate dislike to Arnold, though he didn't know why.
"Hi Arnold. I'm Erica."
"And I'm Maddie."
"It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Said Erica. Erica and Maddie went back to their original conversation.
"So, who do you think Hopeless Heart really is? I think its Jack. He is so sweet, and he did get in A on that poem last year in English."
"Maybe, but I'm still going to say it was Kyle. But what I really want to know is who Helga is! I asked everyone, including some sophomores, and no one knows who it is!" Helga watched Arnold all through out this conversation. He became more and more agitated, and finally he got up and went over to one of the vending machines. She got up and followed him. Will watched all of this. He knew why he didn't like Arnold. It was because he had such a confident, nice air about him, and Will used to be known for that. Now he would be competing with Arnold for the affections of Haley.
"So, Arnold. How long have you been here?"
"About a week."
"Yeah, so I guess you've seen those poems, huh?"
"Uh huh."
"I wish I knew who wrote them. I know a perfect cure for falling out of love." This was all a part of Helga's plan.
"Really?"
"Yeah. But this guy is impossible to find."
"He's me."
"How's that?"
"He's me. I'm Hopeless Heart."
"Really? So who's Helga?"
"This girl I knew, back home. So will you help me?"
"Sure. Now here's the plan. You are going to pretend that I'm Helga, and you're going to do all things you would have done to Helga. Poems, sappy speeches, the works. Pretty soon, you'll get so sick of it that you'll decide it's not worth it, and you'll stop loving her." Arnold was incredulous whether this would actually work, but he was anxious to stop the pain in his heart. He still hadn't see Helga (no wonder) and he was beginning to doubt that she was there at all.
"Alright."
"Good, we can start after school. Meet me on the sidewalk in front at 2:30."
"Ok."
Phoebe drove home that day, without Arnold. He had explained to her the circumstances, as had Helga. She really hoped that everything would work out, though it seemed impossible. Apparently, Arnold's grandpa was going to pick him up later, so she didn't need to worry about him getting home.
**In front of school**
Helga was sitting on the steps, waiting for Arnold. He soon came, and said,
"Hi Haley."
"Oh no, you must call me Helga if this is going to work."
"Alright. Hey Helga."
"This is how you would talk to her, if you had a chance. Just `Hey Helga'? I doubt any one could love someone so stiff."
"Sorry, this is just kind of weird for me."
"Start over."
"Okay. Here goes. Hi Helga."
"Hi Arnold."
"I was wondering if you would let me show you something."
"What is it?"
"Well, I wrote you this poem."
"A poem?"
"Yeah. You see, I really like you."
"What?"
"Um, not like you, I, I love you."
"You love me?"
"Um, yeah."
"Let me see the poem."
And so began the courtship of Helga, though Arnold did not know that the poems and compliments were delivered to the right girl.
Here's some more dialogue. If you wouldn't mind, tell me if I'm wasting my time putting this up, if you aren't reading it. I like it, but that's just me. In this, Rosalind has met Orlando and says she will cure him of his love. The funny part, as you will find out, is that Rosalind is disguised as a boy, Ganymede.
ROSALIND
But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO
Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
ROSALIND
Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves
as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do: and
the reason why they are not so punished and cured
is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers
are in love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel.
ORLANDO
Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND
Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me
his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to
woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish
youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing
and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow,
inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles, for every
passion something and for no passion truly any
thing, as boys and women are for the most part
cattle of this colour; would now like him, now loathe
him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep
for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor
from his mad humour of love to a living humour of
madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of
the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic.
And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon
me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's
heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in't.
ORLANDO
I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND
I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind
and come every day to my cote and woo me.
ORLANDO
Now, by the faith of my love, I will: tell me
where it is.
ROSALIND
Go with me to it and I'll show it you and by the way
you shall tell me where in the forest you live.
Will you go?
ORLANDO
With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND
Nay you must call me Rosalind.
Well, that's it for now. I'm actually very proud of myself. I got two chapters out within one week of each other. Well, once again, review. I want to say thank you to a few reviewers. First of all, Houkanno Yuuhou for keeping me going, cause you really have been helpful to me, knowing that someone appreciated the Shakespeare aspect of the story. Second, Drama Girl 310, and of course, Kelsey and Anton. Ha, I'm laughing at myself. That sort of sounds like an Oscar's speech. Oh well.