Chapter 5 - Visitation Rights
"Well...", Spike said, sitting close to the headstone, "The lil bit is doing tip top in school. You would be real proud. "He sighed as he brushed away some branches from her grave. "And the other one, " he rolled his eyes, "well there's not a whole lot different there. She's still killin me slowly, I'll tell you ... " Yep, that she was, killin' him and doing a bloody good job of it!. 'Same pain in the arse she's always been. Wishin' more than once she'd just bloody stake me and get the whole sodding thing over with."
He paused in silence for a moment as he slowly ran his fingers over her name. "You would be real shocked over what's been happening on Passions, I tell you! Seems like that sodding letch, Julian, got poor ole Teresa right drunk and then married her! Now the lil' bit is knocked up. Can't say for certain it's his or that poof's, Ethan's." He cocked his head to the side; "You remember me tellin you 'bout the one shag they shared the night before they were supposed to trek down the aisle. Which was, by the way, cancelled. Ruined by that chit Ivy." He grinned, " Now she's got some stones, I tell you. Bitch has class; the way she gives better than she gets...could give just about any poor bloke a run for the money"
Buffy smiled as she stood in the background-watching Spike talking to her mother. She was surprised to see him there - at first. But she could tell by his words how much he missed her. Despite his obvious downfalls, being a vampire and all, her mom had grown a soft spot for Spike. She trusted him. She believed in him. And he could sense that. It almost seemed to give him a sense of pride. Which suddenly seemed kind of odd to her...Spike and pride should be unmixy things. She shivered as she began to think of other things he was proud of. No going there. There is no good there.
"Don't forget about Sheridan being dead and then ...well...alive. Again." Buffy found herself saying as she walked to where Spike was sitting. " I tell you, she has more lives than, well... me." She added as she sat on the ground next to Spike.
"Buffy..." he said, looking uncomfortable. He remembered watching her put garlic up around her windows after that hell night a few weeks ago. He had been avoided her and she him... both embarking on an unspoken agreement of sorts. One that didn't require being afraid of suddenly becoming a pile of ashes. Not in the mood for this... He thought as he started to get up.
Buffy reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Stay.", she said. , "Please?".
He looked in her eyes and could see almost feel the pain she carried. "Won't you be wanting to be alone..." he gestured to the headstone. "With your mum...".
She winced and looked away. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. ...to be alone with your mum...
He gently cupped her cheek and brought her face to his, eyes holding hers in a gentle embrace. As hard as she tried, she couldn't look away. She sat there a prisoner to his searching eyes. She knew she couldn't hide the truth from him. She could never hide the truth from him.
He dropped his hand in shock. He looked down for a second and then met her gaze once again. Bloody hell! What a sodding bloke he was...not being able to figure it all out before now.
He remembered the words she told him. Words she didn't want the scoobies to hear. "I knew everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it... This is hell. Just getting through the next moment and the one after that...knowing what I've lost..."
What she had lost! Bloody hell!!! She had been alone with her mum. In heaven. Just the two of them all warm and cozy... And then bammm! The Wicca and her Merry band of Scoobies pulled her out. And now, here she was in the cold while her mom was alone, waiting for her to return... No wonder she couldn't face her mum's cold grave...after being in her warm embrace.
"Oh, God..", he whispered., "Oh, God, Buffy..."
She dropped her head and felt the sobs escape her mouth. She could feel her body give way and she collapsed against his chest, her body heaving as the torrent of tears streamed down her face.
He held her close with his lips pressed against the top of her head. He knew she needed him, if only just for this one moment in time. And for him, that was good enough. He reached down, scooped her in his arms and carried her off to his crypt.