Part 13:
Buffy walked through the cemetery, her hand twirling the cross around her neck. After arriving with Riley she had realised that she wasn't wearing one and had no choice but to put on the one she had found in her pocket from earlier today. She had waited till Riley had gone around to the other side of the cemetery then had taken out the velvet box from her pocket and stood there for a few minutes, just looking at the unopened box. Finally, she had opened it, looking at the silver cross, lying there nestled in the velvet bottom, memories washing over her. She placed it around her neck remembering the time Angel had first given it to her…
"You should really be paying more attention…"
Buffy spun around, ready with stake in hand…a stake that immediately dropped to the ground when she saw who was standing there.
"…instead of daydreaming." Angel finished his sentence and looked Buffy straight in the eyes, noticing straight away that she was wearing the cross he gave her, but deciding not to comment on it.
Buffy opened her mouth, trying to tell him off for scaring her but no sound came out. So they just stood there, looking at each other, each knowing that the other's heart was aching and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
Finally, Angel spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence around them.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come but someone had to be the first to break."
To Angel's surprise, Buffy burst out laughing. He looked at her his eyes full of hurt.
"I think you've been listening to too much Savage Garden, Angel." Seeing Angel's confused looked she laughed again. "Never mind, I'll show you later."
"So… why are you here?" Buffy looked at her ex-lover and wondered whether he had noticed her necklace. She immediately guessed he had, but decided not to mention it. Typical Angel, always so tactful.
"Oh, just thought I'd come for a visit. How's Riley?"
"He's, ah, well, he's Riley. I mean, he's fine. We're fine."
"Really." Angel walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes. "Why do I get the feeling that's not true?"
Buffy felt a shiver run up her spine. Why does he effect me like that? Why does he...God! I miss him so much… Suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes near them and Riley stepped out. Angel immediately stepped back, as though nothing had happened but Riley still looked at him suspiciously.
"Angel. What are you doing here?"
"Just visiting." Angel looked Riley over, noticing the boy's suspicions and turned to Buffy. "Sun's going to be up soon so I had better go. I'll see you later ok?"
Buffy looked at Angel, the pain at him leaving showing in her eyes.
"You don't have to leave just because he turned up Angel. I can send him home." She said under her breath, so softly that only a vampire could hear it. He pulled her close in a hug, whispering his answer in her ear.
"No, I'd better go. I'll see you later. Say Hi to everyone for me. Maybe I'll see them before I leave." Without, he turned away and walked off. Just like after Graduation…
Riley walked over and started to lead her by the arm in the direction of her house. After a few minutes of silence, Riley finally spoke.
"Any particular reason he's here?" Buffy could hear the jealousy in his voice and tried to change the subject.
"Nope, just visiting. Anything happened on patrol?" She spoke too quickly and when Riley answered, she saw the hurt in his eyes.
"No, nothing."
"Same. What's the bet they're up to something?"
"Buffy." Riley stopped in his tracks and turned Buffy so that she was facing him.
"Riley, what…" Riley silenced her, placing a finger to her lips.
"Just hear me out ok?" Buffy nodded, knowing what was coming. "You know I love you, right?" Buffy nodded again, pain creeping into her eyes. "Okay. What I need to know now is what you feel." Buffy started to speak again and Riley silenced her with a look. "I know that you love me Buffy, you've shown me that. The question now is, do you still love him? Now answer truthfully Buff, I'll know if you're not."
Buffy looked into Riley's eyes and the answer was barely audible.
"Yes."
"Okay." Riley paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Next question. "Do you love him more? Wait, don't answer that. I can tell by your eyes what the answer is."
Riley let out his breath, breath he didn't even realise he had been holding. Buffy looked at him, the pain she was feeling clear in her eyes.
"Okay, if you love him more…"
Buffy interrupted. "I never said that Riley! I..."
"No, you didn't Buffy, but it's pretty obvious! Now, I know you love me so there is no need for you to say that. You're feelings for me is not the issue here. The issue is you're feelings for him. You love him and there's nothing in the world that will change that, nothing that will even come close to that! You need to be with him."
"Riley, I can't…"
"Just go Buffy! Just leave, right now, before I change my mind and decide that I can't bear to lose the one I love." He walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I understand Buff and I don't hold anything against you. Now go."
Buffy looked into Riley's eyes and through the hurt and pain she saw there, she saw he was telling the truth. She turned around and walked off, a sob catching in her throat and tears running down her cheeks. Riley loved her and for that he was letting her go. Letting her go to be with the one she loved, who loved her back just as strong. She hoped to God that one day Riley would find someone he could love that would love him back for the good man he was.
****
Buffy curled herself under her sheets, tears still in her eyes. She looked down onto the floor where Claire had fallen asleep. Lying there, in the exact same spot that Angel had fallen asleep so long ago, she looked like a spitting image of him and Buffy smiled through her pain, knowing that soon she would be with him again.
Buffy walked through the cemetery, her hand twirling the cross around her neck. After arriving with Riley she had realised that she wasn't wearing one and had no choice but to put on the one she had found in her pocket from earlier today. She had waited till Riley had gone around to the other side of the cemetery then had taken out the velvet box from her pocket and stood there for a few minutes, just looking at the unopened box. Finally, she had opened it, looking at the silver cross, lying there nestled in the velvet bottom, memories washing over her. She placed it around her neck remembering the time Angel had first given it to her…
"You should really be paying more attention…"
Buffy spun around, ready with stake in hand…a stake that immediately dropped to the ground when she saw who was standing there.
"…instead of daydreaming." Angel finished his sentence and looked Buffy straight in the eyes, noticing straight away that she was wearing the cross he gave her, but deciding not to comment on it.
Buffy opened her mouth, trying to tell him off for scaring her but no sound came out. So they just stood there, looking at each other, each knowing that the other's heart was aching and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
Finally, Angel spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence around them.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come but someone had to be the first to break."
To Angel's surprise, Buffy burst out laughing. He looked at her his eyes full of hurt.
"I think you've been listening to too much Savage Garden, Angel." Seeing Angel's confused looked she laughed again. "Never mind, I'll show you later."
"So… why are you here?" Buffy looked at her ex-lover and wondered whether he had noticed her necklace. She immediately guessed he had, but decided not to mention it. Typical Angel, always so tactful.
"Oh, just thought I'd come for a visit. How's Riley?"
"He's, ah, well, he's Riley. I mean, he's fine. We're fine."
"Really." Angel walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes. "Why do I get the feeling that's not true?"
Buffy felt a shiver run up her spine. Why does he effect me like that? Why does he...God! I miss him so much… Suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes near them and Riley stepped out. Angel immediately stepped back, as though nothing had happened but Riley still looked at him suspiciously.
"Angel. What are you doing here?"
"Just visiting." Angel looked Riley over, noticing the boy's suspicions and turned to Buffy. "Sun's going to be up soon so I had better go. I'll see you later ok?"
Buffy looked at Angel, the pain at him leaving showing in her eyes.
"You don't have to leave just because he turned up Angel. I can send him home." She said under her breath, so softly that only a vampire could hear it. He pulled her close in a hug, whispering his answer in her ear.
"No, I'd better go. I'll see you later. Say Hi to everyone for me. Maybe I'll see them before I leave." Without, he turned away and walked off. Just like after Graduation…
Riley walked over and started to lead her by the arm in the direction of her house. After a few minutes of silence, Riley finally spoke.
"Any particular reason he's here?" Buffy could hear the jealousy in his voice and tried to change the subject.
"Nope, just visiting. Anything happened on patrol?" She spoke too quickly and when Riley answered, she saw the hurt in his eyes.
"No, nothing."
"Same. What's the bet they're up to something?"
"Buffy." Riley stopped in his tracks and turned Buffy so that she was facing him.
"Riley, what…" Riley silenced her, placing a finger to her lips.
"Just hear me out ok?" Buffy nodded, knowing what was coming. "You know I love you, right?" Buffy nodded again, pain creeping into her eyes. "Okay. What I need to know now is what you feel." Buffy started to speak again and Riley silenced her with a look. "I know that you love me Buffy, you've shown me that. The question now is, do you still love him? Now answer truthfully Buff, I'll know if you're not."
Buffy looked into Riley's eyes and the answer was barely audible.
"Yes."
"Okay." Riley paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Next question. "Do you love him more? Wait, don't answer that. I can tell by your eyes what the answer is."
Riley let out his breath, breath he didn't even realise he had been holding. Buffy looked at him, the pain she was feeling clear in her eyes.
"Okay, if you love him more…"
Buffy interrupted. "I never said that Riley! I..."
"No, you didn't Buffy, but it's pretty obvious! Now, I know you love me so there is no need for you to say that. You're feelings for me is not the issue here. The issue is you're feelings for him. You love him and there's nothing in the world that will change that, nothing that will even come close to that! You need to be with him."
"Riley, I can't…"
"Just go Buffy! Just leave, right now, before I change my mind and decide that I can't bear to lose the one I love." He walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I understand Buff and I don't hold anything against you. Now go."
Buffy looked into Riley's eyes and through the hurt and pain she saw there, she saw he was telling the truth. She turned around and walked off, a sob catching in her throat and tears running down her cheeks. Riley loved her and for that he was letting her go. Letting her go to be with the one she loved, who loved her back just as strong. She hoped to God that one day Riley would find someone he could love that would love him back for the good man he was.
****
Buffy curled herself under her sheets, tears still in her eyes. She looked down onto the floor where Claire had fallen asleep. Lying there, in the exact same spot that Angel had fallen asleep so long ago, she looked like a spitting image of him and Buffy smiled through her pain, knowing that soon she would be with him again.