Chapter 14

Mamoru was in his room looking at a picture of Usagi and himself.

"Usako, I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave me? I can't live without you." Mamoru talked to the picture crying. There was a knock at the door. Mamoru didn't bother to answer it. He figured one of the girls had come to talk to him. But if they realized he didn't want to answer the door they would just leave. Sadly no such luck.

The door swung open and in marched Motoki. "Mamoru, get out of bed this instant. You are going to class. The professor understands and is only going to take off 1/8th of your final grade. Now that's pretty good considering everything."

Mamoru ignored him. It was the second time Motoki had come in the last week. Motoki entered the room. "You've got to get on with your life Mamoru-kun." Motoki said softly.

"You don't understand! She was my light, my life. When you knew me before she came into play, didn't you say I was just going through the motions?"

"Yes." Motoki answered.

"And after I met her you said that I was finally alive again?"

"Yes. But she's gone. You have to get on with your life. You're barley living."

"Well, now that she's dead, I can't live without her. When I didn't know her, I knew that I was going to in the future. When she died, I died along with her." Mamoru shouted at Motoki.

"Look, I miss her too. The girls do also. Let us talk to you. Talk to us. The girls are finally going back to school. You need to do the same. I know it's harder on you than the rest of us, but, you have to live. As long as you stay in this apartment, you're a shell of your former self."

"Motoki!"

"NO!" Motoki yelled. "Now lets talk about something else! I can't talk about her yet. This is the thing I need to get over. But you? Let's just talk about something else. Like where is Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen? The news paper is saying that they are on their honeymoon." Motoki joked.

Mamoru let out an anguished cry. "MOTOKI, Usagi was SAILOR MOON!"

Motoki stood there in shock for quite a few seconds, unable to make a coherent word. Finally Motoki spited out a question. "Then whose Tuxedo Kamen?"

Mamoru answered. "I am."

Motoki sat down on a chair next to Mamoru's head. Mamoru finally looked up from the picture he was holding, seeing Motoki in direr shock Mamoru sat up. Before he started talking, he sighed. "I guess I owe you the story now." Mamoru started telling Motoki about the past, and the present. How they were supposed to be eternal. How they were one of the same soul.

After Mamoru finished explaining, he looked at the picture of Usagi. "You know, this picture was after the day we defeated that guy who was obsessed with Usako. I never thought she would take me back so fast. Kami I miss her. I look around my apartment, she's everywhere. After the funeral she was everywhere also. She didn't even say good bye to us. She didn't even tell us it was going to be ok, like she could have. All of us have always said good bye. Even Usako, when she died several times in my arms."

Mamoru looked down at his arms, seeing imaginary blood on them. He let out a sob. "But this time, she said gomen. She never died in my arms, she never professed her love to me one last time. I never got to tell her how much I loved her before she died again. Everything was different. She didn't die saving one of us. Nobody has died like that. Nobody. It was always for something more important than getting hit by a blast when her concentration was on another youma."

Motoki took all this in. He looked at his friend. He didn't realize they went through all of this. He also realized he wasn't there for Usagi. He wanted to be, he so hoped that she would come back like always again. Standing up on shaking legs he found his voice. "I am so sorry Mamoru. I'm just so sorry. Sorry for your loss. Sorry for the girls'. Sorry I was never there to help you both out. I would have wanted to be. I'll keep this a secret. I'll see if I can get the professor to push back the date for you." Motoki started to leave. Before out the door he turned around. "Try to get better Mamoru, if she does come back she wouldn't want to see you in this condition as the first thing she sees of you. Good bye, my friend." Motoki turned around and left.

Mamoru looked up as the door closed. That had hit him hard. When Usako comes back he should be in good condition for her. He would need to help her not the other way around. Mamoru stood up and went into the kitchen, digging around in his refrigerator he decided that wasn't enough food, he wanted everything in there, so Usagi could have what she wanted. After he went shopping for food, he ate, after a week of not eating at all.

A few days later he went to school. Nobody asked any questions. He looked somewhat decent. At least as much as he could.

A few weeks later.

Mamoru ran into Ami while picking up some books at B&N. She was looking through a bunch of witch books on where to find some potions and what not. Ami looked up at him and smiled. She didn't look to be getting much sleep. He just figured it was Usagi's death along with school work. Ami's hair hadn't been combed in a long time, Mamoru smiled back.

Ami looked intently at Mamoru, it was the first time she's seen him since the funeral. Motoki had told her and the girls Mamoru was up and running. Looking as good as he had been before he met Usagi. Nobody had known what that was because they could only remember the cold and aloof Mamoru who loved to tease their princess. And in those seconds he was warm. But Motoki swears Mamoru was only polite to people he had to talk to. He would never talk other than that, and his nose was stuck in a book, not looking for crystals.

Ami sighed. She knew where to get the toad stew, but she didn't know where to get the powdered gold dust made from finches. (I know that doesn't make any sense.)

Ami bought her books, tomorrow she would go to china town and look at the magic shops there. These humans had the potential to do great things, just they didn't apply it right.

Ami walked home that night with her nose in the book, she hadn't allowed herself to grieve like the other senshi. The only one who hadn't done that also was Hotaru. Ami arrived home in 15 minutes and went up to her room.

She loved living so close to the book store and library. Closing the door to her room, she locked it. Dumping her books with her other pile of 'witch craft' stuff she sat down at her desk and reached for the phone. Grabbing it she hit the second automatic call button. Makoto was the one to pick it up.

By now you must be hating me! I'm sorry if I left to hanging on for this chapter. But right now I need to finish my holiday story. It's not quite a holiday story, I just wanted to use a whole bunch of outfits in that story that I wouldn't always been able to use. Now if anybody wants to send me a -~*REALLY*~- great DEATH poem I would be able to add it in to my story and I would be able to get chapter 16 out as sooner than if you don't. Send it to Sugar the writer@aol.com