Inconvenience

He lie next to her watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. He wished he could freeze the moment. Her asleep in his bed, next to him No doubt about it, you were one lucky bloke last night... He quietly got out of bed and went to where his jacket lay. He reached inside the pocket and pulled out a cig and his lighter. God I need a good smoke...

He began to remember what it felt like to be in her arms, to have her gaze locked tightly with his in his as they made love. Made love... now I sound like the Poof. He scoffed at the thought of being anything close to the likeness of Angel. But it *was* love. Maybe not for her, but definitely for him. And that was good enough for him. He put his cig and lighter on the small table he used as a nightstand. There will be time for that later after she wakes up, remembers what happened last night and all bloody hell breaks loose..

She stirred and finally woke. She sat up and blinked her eyes as she looked around. Her eyes met his from across the room. Her eyes traveled down his hard muscled body. Ohmigod! She thought, naked Spike...wow!

He could not read the expression on her face. However, he braced himself for the indignant cries and insults that would be hurled any second. He closed his eyes and winced, preparing for the impending assault on his manhood.

She climbed out of the bed and walked over to him. He slowly opened his eyes as she stood before him. Her hands went to his shoulders and lightly traveled down his muscular arms until they reached his hands. Without a word, she took his hands and led him back to the bed.

He stood at the side of the bed with her He couldn't believe she was standing there in front of him, wanting him. In the almost light of day. He could see her eyes willing him to take her again. He could hear her breath quicken as she pressed her body against his and her mouth found his. Oh God, is there ever going to be a time when I won't ache to have her? He closed his eyes and thought to himself as he felt her easing him on the bed and sliding in next to him.

"Luv...", he whispered softly against her throat, feeling the quickening beat of her pulse against his cheek. "I need you to..." Before he could finish his words; she turned to him and met his lips with hers. Slowly, he pulled away from her and gently took her face in his hands. He could see her face was flushed and her eyes were ablaze with passion. "Buffy..." he whispered "I need you to..."

"Need me to do this..." she said as her lips touched his chest, "or this..." her tongue caressing his flesh. He moaned with pleasure, the feel of her warm lips on his body, the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body as it pressed up against his. He knew how easy it would be to lose himself in her. To rise and fall with her every move, to look in her eyes and see her - wanting him...needing him.

Yes, she wanted him- he could see it in her eyes when he carried her to her bed the night before. He could feel her need for him when their lips met. But would she ever love him, could she ever love him? In his mind he saw a flash, then her face as she said the words..."* A * vampire... one ... But he's gone. You're just... You're just convenient." He drew back from her suddenly and sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

"Spike...?", she said breathlessly.

He allowed himself to look back at her and his eyes met hers. Those eyes... God, I could lose myself in those eyes... He thought silently to himself. Sodding poof, he swore, you're already lost. And it's about bloody time you find your way back. Stop lookin' for yourself in her...you *know* nothing's there...

It was all she could do to catch her breath. Her lips ached to feel his... whether he was fiercely crushing hers with his or sweetly caressing hers with his. Why did he turn away from me? she wondered. She reached out and brushed her hand up against his shoulder. She felt him flinch and draw away, almost as if her fingers burned his flesh.

Before she could say a word, he stood before her, eyes glaring at her. "Spike...?" she asked again , eyes searching his face, "what's wrong..."

What's wrong! he thought to himself, as if you bloody well didn't know! It was there glaring at him every time he was close to her. Every time he was close enough to feel her breath or hear her heartbeat. It cursed him every moment of the day, with every burning ray of sunlight, it laughed at him every night with the taunting glow of the moonlight. It was the truth - the one thing he couldn't run from, the only thing he could never hide from. It was her face staring at him with distaste and contempt. It was her words that bit him deep inside his still heart. You are... convenient.

She watched as he pulled on his jeans and t-shirt. He sighed, and picked up her clothes. He turned and

tossed them in her direction, eyes averting her glaze. She opened her mouth and began to speak, " Spike..."

"You will be needing to go home.", he said flatly., " The lil' bit will be worried about, seeing how you didn't come home all night and all..." he cocked his head and glanced at her, "I imagine the Scoobies have probably organized a bloody search party by now."

She flew out of the bed . Oh shit! she remembered, Dawn! She threw her clothes on and hurried out of his crypt.

He watched her go, not even giving him a second glance as she ran out. "Right then..", he said aloud as he reached for his cigarette and lighter, "It was nice seeing you, too..." He sighed again as the door slammed. In his mind he could hear her taunting him, "Yeah, Spike...convenient much?"