Disclaimer: Okay. I'm Shakespeare and I own the Kids WB. And if you believe that, I have bridge I want to sell you.

Notes: German and Scottish accents in here. Did I mention that I'm neither German nor Scottish? (Well, a little Scot on my dad's side…but that's neither here nor there) Be kind. Also, I didn't know the last names of many of the minor characters of the show. (The really, really minor ones) Either they were never said on camera, or I simply missed it. At any rate, I just sort of…made them up. Enjoy!

***

Scene II

Kurt Wagner opened the study's great doors and entered, feeling small and inconsequential as always in this huge room. "Yes Professor? You wanted to speak with me?"

Xavier put down the book he was reading, The Illustrated Stratford Shakespeare, and waved the young mutant over. "Ah. Yes indeed, Kurt. Come. Pull up a chair."

The chairs were all so massive it was impossible to 'pull one up', but one edifice was placed in front of the professor's oak desk and Kurt slid into it nervously.

"I called you in here to discuss a very important matter. It's about Kitty."

"Kitty?" Kurt blinked in surprise. A second later he thought he understood. "Oh. You mean her party tomorrow night. All right. I promise. No hanging from the chandelier this time."

The bald man smiled. "Thank you, but that's not what I meant." He paused and searched for words. "Kitty is…yet a stranger in the world. And growing up as a mutant can be a very difficult thing for one so innocent."

"Ja. I guess." Kurt shifted, uncomfortable with the turn of topic. He was acutely aware of how upset Kitty would be if she found out they had been talking about her this way. But the Professor seemed in earnest, and not at all inclined to stop until he had pressed his point home.

"She needs some guidance, or rather, someone she can turn to when things get rough, someone who is not a parental figure but a peer. Someone in a romantic relationship with her, perhaps."

The other stared. "Vas?"

Charles still had the patient smile on his face. "I've seen how you look at her, Kurt. I know that you like her. And she likes you as well. As a friend, true, but you could soon change that if you tried. Woo her, gentle Wagner, get her heart. My will to her consent is but a part."

Kurt couldn't believe he was hearing this. "But…you're asking me to…?"

Xavier nodded soberly. "I trust you and understand that you will stand by her and comfort her in the years ahead. And if she is with you she will not be tempted by…let us say, less than encouraging influences. I would much rather she were with you than with Mr. Alvers. She has a lingering crush on him still."

"Ja, I know. But…" The elf made realized he had no idea what to add to that 'but'. He stopped for a moment and made himself think about what the Professor was proposing, no matter how strange it sounded coming from the great mentor's lips. Woo Kitty? He'd be lying if he didn't say he was tempted. And God knows, Lance was a bad influence that needed to be wiped from her memory. She was just turning sixteen, a time when she'd really start growing up. Xavier clearly wanted to make sure she stayed safe and protected; stayed good. And he thought Kurt could do that for her. A warm glow of pride grew in the sophomore's belly. The Professor trusted him, was turning to him. And to be with Kitty? Dating her as he'd longed to ever since he'd met her?

"I'll do it," he heard himself say.

"Good." The other practically beamed. "I knew I could count on you. You can make clear your attentions at the party tomorrow night. That would probably be the most appropriate time." Xavier looked down at a paper on his desk and frowned. "And speaking of the party, the guest list seems never to have been sent."

Kurt stared. "What? But then, no one will show up. Kitty will be devastated!"

"No, no. There is a perfectly easy way to solve this problem." The professor focused and a moment later the door blew open.

"Aye, Professor? Ye called fer me?"

"Rahne," he greeted her. "There appears to have been a bit of a mix-up." He picked up the piece of paper. "I hold in my hand the guest list."

She looked at it. "Aye? So what?"

"The only copy of the guest list."

It took her a moment. Realization dawned on her tanned face like a sunrise. "Ye mean…no one sent….?"

"No. It's a bit of a crisis, actually." He could hardly sound less worried. "I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to go around town and deliver the message personally to the people who are invited. You can cover the distance faster than anyone else in the mansion."

The short girl frowned thoughtfully. "But what about those who don't know about my powers?"

"Easy. Just change back to normal before you are in sight of them." He leveled his gentle gaze on her. "It would mean a great deal if you would do this. Kitty has her heart set on this party."

 That did it. Whatever reservations Rahne had had before flew out the window now. She straightened, and actually shot off a quick salute before accepting the paper. "Alright. I'll do my best. Everyone will be there. You can count on it."

"Good." Xavier watched her leave, and then smiled at Kurt again. "There, you see? Another problem solved."

***

Rahne Sinclair strode proudly out of the X-Mansion's gates, a fierce happiness in her breast that of all the people in the sprawling home, many of them full X-Men and not just trainees, Xavier had entrusted this task to her. She stopped and unfolded the piece of paper with the guests names on them. Then she frowned. Who'd have thought it. Professor Xavier had terrible handwriting. The worst she'd ever seen in fact. Rahne squinted and turned the paper this way and that, even lifting it up so that the sun would shine through it, but could make neither head nor tails of the strange markings scrawled across its surface.

"Find them out, whose names are written here?" she muttered to herself. "It is written, but I am sent to find those persons whose names are here writ, and can never find what names the writing person hath here writ. It doesna make any sense, that's the problem." Should she go back? No. And explain to Xavier that she couldn't do what he asked of her because she couldn't read his handwriting? The girl's face flamed just to think of it. That was no good. She would simply have to…find someone who could make sense of it and ask them whose names' were on the paper. That decided, she started forward again, looking for a likely candidate.

As it happened, Todd and Lance were walking down the street not far away, still arguing about Lance's obsession. Todd kept insisting that his friend find someone else, to the senior's infinite annoyance.

"Tut, man!" Todd exclaimed. "One fire burns out another's burning. One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish. Just go on a date, and pretty soon you won't even remember what Tabitha looks like!"

Lance shook his head. "Fat chance."

"Why not?"

He was being extraordinarily irritating this morning, and Lance had had enough. "Because if you don't shut up about it, you're going to have a broken shin!"

The freshman blinked in surprise. "Wha? Lance, are you mad?"

"The light dawns," the other growled.

"Excuse me."

"What!" He snapped and whirled around.

Rahne blanched away from his angry face. "Um…good morning," she stammered. "I pray, sir, can ye read?"

"Can I read?" he echoed incredulously. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"No, I mean handwriting. Can ye read a messy scrawl?" She glanced nervously between the two boys, who were staring at her as if she were crazy. "Because, between you an' me, I can't figure out what it's sayin'."

"What what's saying?" Lance asked.

"This note I was given."

"Hey, I know you," Todd spoke up. "You're one of those new X-Men."

"Aye. That I am." She frowned at him and edged a little away. "But how do ye know that name? Are you one of the Brotherhood, then?"

Lance cut the Toad off as he moved to speak. "That's not important. Let me see the note and I'll try to decipher it."

She glanced at the teenagers uncertainly for another moment, and then shrugged and passed it over. "Truly, sir, I hope ye have more luck with it than I did."

Lance looked at the list, and then frowned and peered at it closely. "Wow. You weren't kidding. This is bad. Hm." He focused for a moment, and then read out the guest list.

"Mr. Green, his wife, and daughter Mandy. Jessica Phyllips, and the rest of the Phyllips clan. Paul Desmond. Pietro Maximoff…" Lance paused. He blinked, and then went on. "Risty Wilde and Taryn Greenleaf. Tabitha Smith…" Once again he paused, this time with a sigh. "Lily, Valentino, Lucy, and Helen." The senior handed the paper back to the enlightened Rahne and raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "What is this? It sounds like a guest list."

"Well, you have the right of it, there. A guest list it do be. For the sweet sixteen party of the lovely Kitty Pryde." She looked dreamily off into space for a moment. "I only hope I get such a send-off when my birthday comes 'round. This is going to be such fun." She seemed to remember herself and became businesslike once again. "Just as soon as I let the guests know that they're expected, that is. Come if you like, with my thanks for the assistance. If you're not of the Brotherhood, that is." Rahne shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, if ye are, but we want none of their type about."

"But you invited Pietro," Todd pointed out reasonably. "And Tabitha."

She only shrugged again. "Well, I dinna claim to ken that, but its none of my business, after all. It was the Professor and Kitty's decision whom to invite. Well, I really should be off now. I shall be all over Bayville before sundown, you see if I don't." The girl waved a cheery farewell and tucked the list in her pocket. Then she shuddered and smoothly morphed into a small brown wolf that looked at them with laughing eyes before bounding away.

They stared. "Dude. That chick's weird, yo." Todd commented.

"Tell me about it," Lance agreed.

"But this is great! She invited us to go to Kitty's birthday party!"

"Yeah. So?"

The freshman rolled his eyes. "Don't you get it? Kitty is friends with, like, every cute girl in our school and they're all bound to be there! This is your chance to get over Tabitha! We'll just go. With all the admired beauties of Bayville, go thither; and, with unattainted eye, compare her face with some that I shall show. I will make thee think thy swan a crow."

Lance stared at him as if he'd grown another head. "No. Definitely not. The last thing I want to do is spend a night surrounded by a bunch of tittering freshmen!"

"All right. Fine." Todd stuck his hands in his pockets and started to stroll away. "You can just stay in your room all night. Again. And watch the paint peel. Again."

The dark haired teen thought about this for a minute. Then he hurried to catch up with his friend. "Wait! I'll go."

Toad just smirked. "I know."

Scene Two done! What did you think? Was it any good? Too much Shakespeare? Too little? Does it work blending it in with normal speech or does it sound funny? Please review me!