Title: Try me - part 4
Author: Henra
Email: HenraM@tuxedomask.com
Rated: PG
…
Ummm…ehhh…okay, so I took a long time.
*clears throat*
Hope you…like this chapter?
Errr…oh yeah. Be ware of some really bad poetry in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. This is a work of fiction.
**************
"Where the hell is he?" Raye muttered, pacing around the living
room.
Chad, who was sitting on the sofa, shrugged. "Who knows? You
know him."
She stopped. "Yeah. I know him," she said softly. "Oooh!" She
started to move again. "I wish I just know him even better--so I know
where to find him right now, and talk some sense into him."
"Why do you suppose he left?"
Raye stared at Chad, confusion written all over her face. "God…
I have no idea. I mean, Serena just briefly explained it to me…but I
still don't get it. So they had the same dream. What is it that made him
leave?"
Chad stood up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around Raye.
"You know Darien as well as I do that whenever something he has
absolutely no preparation for happens, he walks away. Just like that.
Do you even remember all those times when he walked out on those girls?"
Raye sighed, and leaned against him. "Of course I do. But--right
now, I only care about Serena. I mean, she's upstairs--and must be trying
to figure out what exactly went wrong."
"You know…maybe the dream…maybe the dream was something extreme."
She pulled away and looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know. But maybe the dream…maybe the whole reason for
his leaving is because of what the dream was about."
She slowly nodded, a new realization running in her mind. "I see
what you mean. But--we don't know what really happened, so…"
"Bet you can find out."
She smiled at him. "Chad…I'm so glad you're here…"
He smiled back, and planted a small kiss on her forehead. "Me,
too. Now, come on--be a friend and go comfort Serena."
Raye nodded, and started her way upstairs, hoping that her own
cheerfulness would somehow rub off on her friend.
Darien saw a large parking lot just some feet away. He flashed
the right turn signal, and turned when no cars was coming for a few
seconds. He parked on the first empty space he saw. He killed the engine,
and sighed.
Now what was he going to do?
Go to one of the bushes and hide there?
He shook his head, and slumped against his seat. God, Caseley,
you are such a coward.
He smiled bitterly. Oh yes, he was a coward. He was such a coward
that he didn't even dare to come out and admit that the dream had gotten
into him.
What could he do now?
He sighed again, and looked out the window. People walked by,
living their own lives, and going back and forth like they knew exactly
what they were doing, what was happening, why it was happening, and how
come it happened.
Unlike him.
Dammit, why did he and Serena have the same dream? And why had
it gotten under his skin?
Suddenly, his stomach growled. His eyes traveled around the
stores around the plaza. Papa Joe's. He didn't even realize that he was
here.
His stomach called again.
He groaned, pulled out the key, and opened the door.
He locked the doors and while putting the keys in his pocket,
he walked toward the pizza place.
Serena punched her pillow.
She punched it again. And again. And again. All the while
pretending that it was Darien's face.
Then she decided it wasn't his face, it was hers. Hers for
being so stupid. And then she decided that it wasn't anyone's face, that
she was only using it as a punching bag to get rid of the anger and hurt
she had inside.
A tear slid down the side of her cheek.
Damn you, Darien. Damn you, for running out like that. Damn
you, for you just couldn't be all arrogant--nooo, you had to buy that
milk, making me feel as if there was more to you. And DAMN you, Darien,
for having to had the same dream.
She punched the pillow again.
This time she decided that it definitely was Darien's face.
And she punched it again and again.
God. This is not how I should react. If he knew I was acting
like this…Ugh. I've got to get a grip. She wiped away the tear, and got
up from her bed, smoothing her knee-length skirt.
There was a knock on the door.
She cleared her throat, and opened the door. "Raye!" she said,
surprised.
"Serena…hi." Raye smiled at her.
"Hey. Um, come in." She led Raye over to the bed, and sat down.
"Is something wrong?"
"No! I, uh--just wanted to see if you were okay."
She felt a tremble go through her. "What do you mean? I'm fine."
"Oh, come on, Serena. You can tell me. I mean, I know that you
and I are not exactly best friends, not like how you and Mina were, but
I can be a good listener, too, you know, if I really wanted to. And I
want to right now. Please, would you tell me what just happened?"
Serena looked at Raye. She let a tear slide down her face. "Oh,
Raye…"
Raye leaned over and hugged her. "It's okay, tell me."
She sighed, and cleared her throat a bit. "Darien and I had the
same dream yesterday night. The dream was…I can't remember much from it,
but I remember that in the dream, I had kissed this…dark haired guy…in
front of a two-stories house. And I remember some words that we had
exchanged, but that's not important. Anyway, after I woke up, I wasn't…
very sure who the guy was…until I had mentioned it to Darien…and turned
out…he had the dream, too. And so, you know…"
"You're the girl, and he's the guy," Raye filled in.
"Yeah. And after that, I mean, we just went to this…staring
into each other's eyes thing, until, um, you and Chad came downstairs.
Then, you saw it--Darien just suddenly snapped, and totally tensed. And
then before I knew what happened, he was out the door. And we hadn't
even gotten to talk about the dream. I mean," she laughed bitterly at
this, "if there even is anything to talk ABOUT."
Raye sighed. "So that was the dream."
"Uh-huh."
"Gosh, I'm sorry, Serena. Darien--he's just like that. When
something that he doesn't have preparations for happens, he backs away.
And I'm sure that this same dream thing was not within his preparations
whatever. He doesn't like having anyone get too close. Not even me,
believe me. I mean, he is just like that. That's how he is. You can't
change it."
"I know, but…Raye, I want to talk to him! I want to know how he
feels about the dream. I mean, come on!" Serena stood up, and started to
walk around. "We had the same dream on the same night, and we woke up at
the same time, too, after the dream! I mean, don't you think that counts
for something?"
Raye nodded.
"And…I just want to know…how he feels and stuff."
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then, "You really care about him, don't you?"
That took Serena by surprise. She looked at Raye, a slightly
shocked expression on her face. "What?"
"Darien. You really care about Darien. I mean, you never show
it…but…it's there, isn't it?"
She looked at her friend. Then, she sighed and closed her eyes.
"Yeah well, it's not supposed to be there."
"How do you know?"
Serena laughed bitterly. "Look where it has gotten me! Nowhere.
Just left me here, hurt and confused, and wondering if…if…anything's
changed or not."
"Believe me, something's changed. I saw Darien's face when he
zoomed out the door."
Serena looked at Raye, and smiled sadly. "So? What does it mean
exactly? That's what I want to know. I mean, DID anything change? If it
did, then WHAT changed? The way that we're going to treat each other? I
don't know! And that's what's making me feel so…confused…" She sat down
on the bed again, one hand pressed against her forehead.
Raye stared at her friend, and sighed heavily. Then she shook
her head, and anger began bubbling up inside her. "I can't believe that
Darien could be so irresponsible, and uncaring. I mean, hello? I know he
cares about you, yet he doesn't even have the courage to stay and talk
things through. You know what, I am going out right now. To find him.
And I am going to talk some sense into him."
With that, before Serena could say anything, Raye left.
Serena closed her eyes.
She let out a sigh, and tried to clear her mind.
Maybe Raye was going to find Darien, but who knew when? She had
to know what made Darien leave like that. What had made him do it. She
had to know how he was feeling…even if it was just a plain guess.
Suddenly, an idea got into her head.
It's risky…and it's very, very…alarming…but…
She walked out to the hallway. Past Chad's room, and started
down the stairs.
No one was in the living room. So Chad went with Raye.
Serena turned the knob on Darien's door. She exhaled slowly as
she made her way in his room. She closed the door behind her.
She looked around.
Messy. What did she expect? Super clean?
Like that would happen for ANY guy.
She walked around slowly, eyeing everything carefully. She felt
a bit guilty, since she knew that Darien would explode if he found out
that she was in his room, supposedly searching for an answer as to why
he had left. If she was actually going to find any. Then she pushed it
away. She HAD to get some kind of clues. And she knew that there was no
better way to get to know him than to look around his room.
Her eyes wandered over the unmade bed, and suddenly landed on
the desk. Borrowing the sunlight shined in from the window, she saw that
his desk was full of dust. She rolled her eyes.
She walked on over, and saw one of the drawers hanging open.
She paused for a few seconds before she opened it fully.
Inside was nothing but a blue spiral notebook. She was about to
close the drawer again, but then hesitated, as something struck her.
She pulled out the notebook. Biting her lip, she wondered what
was inside.
Perhaps it is a diary?
She nearly laughed out loud. Right. Like a guy like Darien
actually wrote ANYTHING.
Then she frowned. But what if he did?
I'll put it back as soon as I see that there's something
private inside. With that thought in mind, Serena felt a little bit
better. Besides, last time he read my private letter to Mina. We're
even now. She opened the notebook, and her eyes immediately found the
writings in black ink.
She realized in shock that it was actually a phrase.
In fact, a lot of phrases--one phrase per line.
Then she knew that she was about to read a poem. A poem written
by Darien Caseley.
Her eyes scanned the lines.
Without any explanation
She walked in
And changed everything
Who is she?
Why is she here?
I want to know
But yet I'm scared
She represents something
Carries something with her
Maybe
Just maybe
One day we'll stop with the nonsense
And I'll know her
And love her.
Serena breathed in deeply. Oh. My. God.
She didn't even think of the possibility that the poem could be
about her. She swallowed, and closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she reread the poem. And found, at
the very last line on the page, a line of small writing: As of 7-21.
Two weeks ago.
Three weeks after she moved in.
She decided to move on and see if there was anything more. She
flipped the page.
There was.
She looked at it. She glanced at the clock.
She hoped no one would be home any time soon. Especially not
Darien. She went outside to the living room, and sat down on the sofa,
placing a cushion behind her.
She couldn't help but smile. Just a few minutes ago she had
wanted him to come home so badly so they could talk, but now she didn't.
She read the page.
Nice
Friendly
Happy
How she is with other people
Cool
Arrogant
Derisive
How she is with me
Cheerful
Warm
Smiling
How I wish she would be with me
Truth is…
Will she ever?
Serena blinked.
No way. It was beginning to sound like…
"Cool. Arrogant. Derisive." She didn't want to admit it, but it
did sound like how she usually acted around Darien.
She looked at the other page. She flipped it again, and there
was blank.
She turned back and read the third and last poem in the book
more carefully.
A kiss in a dream
Does it mean anything?
I feel
As if I did something wrong
Confused
Utterly confused as I am
She's still the same
Maybe--
Serena frowned. The poem wasn't finished. There was a word
after "Maybe", but it was crossed out. She lifted it up, trying to see
through it, but couldn't make out anything. She sighed.
A kiss in a dream.
She knew for sure that he was talking about the dream--the same
dream that they both had yesterday night. Wow. He had just written in
this notebook this morning.
She breathed in and out. If only he finished writing it…then
she could get what she went into his room looking for…
She got up and started walking back to his room.
She opened the drawer, and placed the notebook gently inside.
She stared at the cover for a very long time. She smiled softly.
So she still didn't know what made him bolt out like that. Of
course, she could go back to his room again…but she felt as if she
already did enough to invade his privacy. Still…she discovered something
today.
Darien Caseley actually wrote. In one way, it was surprising.
In another…it was very shocking. She shook her head, sighing. She
wondered if she would ever get to know him…the real him. She recalled
Raye's words.
She wondered if Darien would ever let her get close.
Suddenly, a noise startled her.
She realized in shock that the front door lock was being moved.
Oh my god. She quickly shut the drawer, and raced out of the
Darien's room. She practically jumped on the sofa, and grabbed one of
the magazines on the coffee table.
The door opened almost as soon as she opened the pages of the
magazine.
Darien walked in.
She looked up, and they made eye contact.
Instantly, she remembered her anger. She threw the magazine on
the sofa with more energy than needed, got up, and started walking
toward the stairs.
"Serena."
She stopped.
"We need to talk."
She hated the way his voice sounded.
All calm and serious, as if closing a business deal.
She turned around, a scowl on her face. "Oh, you think?"
Truth was, she was too busy thinking about being angry she
forgot that she originally HAD wanted to talk to him.
"Yeah." He motioned to the sofa. "Sit down."
She walked back. She sat down on one end, and he sat down on
the other end.
"Where's, um, Raye and Chad?"
"They went out. To look for you, actually."
"Oh."
"So? What you want to talk about?"
"I--" He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
She realized that this was actually hard and uncomfortable for
him. She got rid of the scowl on her face.
"Listen, Serena. I--just, I mean, this dream…I…" He looked at
her, his eyes a swirl of determination…? Confusion? "Oh, hell, just tell
me what you thought about the dream."
She stared at him. "What I…thought?" Wasn't that what HE was
supposed to answer?
He sighed. "Yeah."
She shook her head, and scoffed. "Look, why don't YOU first
explain why the hell you just walked out like that. And then maybe I'll
answer your question."
"Serena…" His voice sounded tired.
"Don't 'Serena' me. Tell me! Why?!" She glared at him, crossing
her arms in front of her.
"I DON'T KNOW!!"
She pulled back at the sudden anger he expressed. Her eyes were
wide, and her pulse was beginning to race.
"I don't know," he said again, more quietly. His eyes were
concentrated on the floor. "I just knew that I had to get away…and I
didn't know why."
She sat down on the sofa. She put her head in her hands, and
began to rock back and forth.
He stayed standing. "Listen, Serena. The dream--it…did it mean
anything to you?"
She felt her heart thumping against her chest. "Did it mean
anything to YOU?" She asked back, her voice quiet.
"I…I don't know. I mean, I…have this weird feeling…but I don't
know exactly, how I feel. Or maybe it's just nothing…" He said, pulling
back.
"Per…haps." She didn't want to admit anything. "So, did
anything change?"
There was silence for a while.
Darien sighed. I hate this. I hate all confrontations…why did
I decide to come back so soon? Why oh why? He took a deep breath.
"Serena...so the dream really didn't mean anything, okay? I mean,
if you're mad that we had the same dream, and think that something's
supposed to be different now, don't worry, 'cause nothing's different.
I mean, we're still the same…I mean, we can stay the same, and pretend
that nothing happened."
She slowly raised her head, and looked at him. The words he
just spoke made their way into her head slowly, and she felt herself go
numb. So she was right. It didn't mean anything to him. It was just a
kiss in a dream. Didn't represent anything in reality.
A nightmare…
She looked at the floor unblinkingly, and said in a voice
devoid of any emotion, "I guess you're right."
He looked at her, his eyes full of doubt. "I am?" he asked in a
voice above a whisper.
She locked eyes with him. "Uh-huh."
He nodded, slowly, as if confirming everything in his head once
more. "So what happens now?"
"Now we go back to our own lives…" she replied, swallowing a
lump in her throat, "go live everyday the same that we did before."
"Right." His voice was flat.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt tears gathering in her eyes.
"Excuse me." She stood up, and went up the stairs before he could see
them.
In her room, Serena leaned against the closed door. She took
heavy breaths, but tears still rolled down her face uncontrollably. She
gradually slid against the door until she had sat down on the floor.
Look. Look what's happened. You got your hopes up. She sighed
heavily, and wiped away some tears with the back of her hand. She closed
her eyes, biting her lip. I can't believe that I let this happen to
myself. What have I done? Then, she shook her head, and got up from the
floor. No, no, no. I cannot act like this. We're going to live our lives
the way that we had lived it before. What's so different about that? What
did I expect to happen anyways?
She walked to the mirror, and stared at her reflection.
Waited that long for the chance to talk to him…and she had
gotten nothing from it. In fact, she might have just lost something.
She felt tears gathering in her eyes.
I need to get away. She suddenly realized. Her eyes widened,
and she thought of it once more. I do. I need to get away. She looked
at a small calendar on her desk. Only three weeks before the fall
semester begins. I have time.
She walked over to her bed, and sat down, thinking about her
new idea carefully. "Where could I go?" she asked herself. "Amy!" She
straightened up, and a small smile formed on her face. "I haven't seen
her in months. Not since last Christmas."
She got up, and opened her closet, locating her blue duffel bag.
She pulled it out, and placed it against one side of the bed.
She looked at it…rather sadly.
Darien paced around in the living room.
What the hell had just happened?
He HAD wanted to come home, HAD wanted to talk to Serena, HAD
wanted to straighten everything out…but what HAD happened instead?
Nothing.
Except Serena and he decided that things would go back to
normal.
Which WAS nothing.
He sighed, and ran a hand through his tousled hair. He sat down
on the sofa, and leaned against it, along with another sigh.
The front door opened.
He opened his eyes. Raye and Chad.
"Oh hey, Darien! You're back!" Chad exclaimed, kicking off his
shoes.
Darien saw Raye follow Chad's gaze. Uh-oh.
"Darien!! Where the HELL did you go? Do you even KNOW how Serena
was feeling after you just left like that, without so much as telling
CRAP where you were going?" Raye marched over to him, and glared at him.
He stood up. He towered over his cousin for over half a feet,
buthe felt as if he were only two inches tall. "Listen, Raye, I--"
"You were always a jerk, I admit it. Always so cold, and so
arrogant, but NOW I'VE HAD IT! I used to hold it in, used to let you get
away, but now, after what happened, YOU ARE GOING DOWN! I can't take this
anymore! You can't be a ghost-stay whenever you want, go whenever you want,
you just CAN'T anymore! You--"
"Yes, I can!!" Darien suddenly yelled back. He had enough of
Raye's yelling. "It's my own life that I'm living, okay? You, or anyone
else, can't control it! You can't tell me what to do! And you sure as
hell cannot tell me when I should stay in this house, and when I should
leave! I can stay or leave WHENEVER I WANT!"
"Do you even CARE that I care about you? That, every time when
you leave without a word, I would wonder where you are? Do you even know
that? Huh?? You know what, honestly, I really DON'T care if you're cold
with me, because that's how you are. But I won't stand it if you do that
to a vulnerable Serena! And you should SEE how vulnerable she is right
now!"
"Raye, you're not making sense!" Chad suddenly told her, grabbing
her arm.
"Let go of me! I need to talk to him, whether I make sense or
NOT!" She swung away her arm, and faced Darien once again.
He stepped away. "You can talk all you want, Raye, but I'm not
listening. I'm going to my room if you need me." He started to walk away.
That froze Raye cold. That move had irated her, and she stomped
her foot. "I need you right now! To crack some sense into that
knucklehead of yours!"
But Darien was already in his room, and had closed the door.
Inside, he sat down on his bed, and put his head in his hands.
Damn this. Damn her. Damn every damned people in this world who are
driving me crazy!
He sighed. This isn't helping me. Not helping me at all.
He looked up at the ceiling. He wondered what was Serena doing
up there in her room. There were only a few weeks until the fall semester
started, and he guessed that she was getting ready.
He got up. He should, too. Maybe go buy a new backpack. The old
one was too old, he was afraid the straps would break if he put anything
too heavy. He looked at the big calendar plastered on his wall. Raye had
taped it there. Said something about wanting him to keep up with everyone
else's life. Whatever that meant.
He changed shirts, and stuffed his wallet down his jeans.
Turning the doorknob with his right hand, his left hand reached for the
blue cap that was sitting on the second section of the small shelf by
the door.
He walked outside carefully. Raye and Chad weren't there.
He breathed a sigh of relief. He walked through the so-called
family room, and opened the door to the garage. He got out his car keys,
and unlocked the car.
Seemed like all he did lately was heading out.
One ring, two ring, three ring…and someone picked up.
"Hey, is this Amy?" Serena asked, smiling already.
"Oh my GOD, Serena, is that you???"
She smiled, and fell down on her bed, handling the phone with
her right hand. "Yes, Amy, it's me. Surprise!"
Amy Maitlin, who had been one of her close friends at the
beginning of freshman year, but had moved away after one semester ended,
laughed on the other end. "So what's up with you?"
"Well…a lot. But I'll tell you later…face-to-face," she replied,
fiddling with the bed comforter.
There was a moment of silence.
Then Amy asked quietly, "So you're saying you're coming over
here, or are you asking me to go over there?"
Serena sighed. "Me go over to your place."
"Oh my gosh!!" Amy exclaimed. "When, when, when? I mean, you
can? I mean, you actually want to? It's right in the middle of summer,
right here might be hotter than where you are…but you'll get used to
it--"
"Amy, Amy!" Serena couldn't help but laugh. "I'm coming
tomorrow."
There was silence again.
Then, "OH MY GOSH!!"
Serena laughed and then sighed deeply. So it was set. She
looked out her window. She was going to spend the rest of her summer
with Amy. In another city.
"Morning," Raye said as she walked in the kitchen.
Chad, who was sitting on a stool around the middle counter,
looked up and smiled. "Morning."
She walked over and they shared a kiss. She walked over to the
fridge, and opened it, scanning the items inside. "Where's Serena and
Darien?"
"Darien went out again, to get supplies. And I think Serena's
still up in her room, sleeping," he replied, turning back to eating his
cereals.
"Again? What's going on with him this year? He never wanted to
go out to buy supplies unless he really, desperately needed it. And even
if he did, he never went out more than once. But now twice, already? What
could he buy now? I already saw new backpack, pens, notebook…yaddy yaddy
yadda, what else could he buy?" She closed the fridge. "There's nothing
to eat."
"Look in the cabinets. Anyways, who cares, as long as he does
get his supplies, right?"
"Right." She got out a nutrition bar from the cabinet. "Oh! Where
did this come from? I don't remember buying any bars, is it yours?"
"It's mine, but you can eat it," a new voice said.
"Morning, Serena," Raye and Chad both greeted at once.
Serena, wearing a black tank-top and a pair of khaki capris,
smiled as she sat down on a stool beside Chad. "Get me one, too."
"Here ya go." Raye tossed a bar to her.
"Thanks." She unwrapped the wrapper, and began to eat. "So, um,
guys, I'll be spending whatever's left of summer at one of my close
friends' house, okay?"
Raye and Chad looked at her.
"Really?" Chad asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his
hand.
"Yeah. It's Amy," she looked at Raye, "you remember her?"
"Uh-huh, I think. That girl with the blue highlights hair,
right?" Raye leaned on the counter across from her. "Why the sudden urge
to leave? I mean, there's only a few more weeks."
"I know. But, you know, I feel like going somewhere. I WANT to
go to London," she smiled sadly, "to visit Mina, but I can't. So I guess
I'll take the next best choice."
Raye nodded. "Did you tell Darien yet?"
Serena gave her a look. "What does Darien have to do with
anything? He doesn't need to know."
"You told us."
"Well, I was hoping that you guys could pass the words to him,"
she said, taking another bite of her bar.
Raye and Chad shared a look.
"What?" She stopped chewing.
Raye sighed, and shook her head. "Can't do it this time. He's
mad at me, and besides, I'm mad at him, too. I don't want to talk to
him that soon."
Serena glanced at Chad, and raised her eyebrow.
"Just tell him yourself, what's the big deal?" Chad offered,
finishing his cereals with one last gulp, and got up from the stool.
She looked down at her bar, and thought about it. "Forget it.
It's not like he WANTS or NEEDS to know. He'll just know about it after
I'm gone--that is, if he even notice."
The bitter way that she had spoken the last sentence did not go
unnoticed by Raye and Chad. They just ignored it.
"A duffel bag and a knapsack. That all you're bringing?"
Raye asked, sticking her head in Serena's room.
Serena looked up and shrugged. "I don't need that much. Only a
few more weeks, that's all. Besides, this duffel bag is sort of big."
"When you leaving?"
She zipped the duffel bag and smiled at her friend. "Today."
Raye's eyes widened. "What? TODAY?"
"Yeah. I bought the train ticket just yesterday night." She
took it out of her pocket and waved it around in Raye's face.
Raye grabbed it. "Serena! You could've told us at LEAST two
days early!"
She shrugged, and took the ticket back. "What's the point?"
"I don't know. But at least it would make me feel that I'm
actually worth telling to."
Serena stared at her friend. "Raye…"
"I'm serious, Serena." Raye stared back at her.
She sighed. "Look, so much has happened in the last…few days.
And I really feel like…taking a break."
"By break, you mean taking a break from Darien, from this house…
but not from me, right?"
She smiled and went over to give Raye a hug. "Yes."
Raye hugged her back.
"Now, come on, help me get this to my car--Oh no…" Serena
groaned, and stomped her foot. "Damn! How come I didn't think of my
car? I'm taking the train, and if I drive my car there, where will I
leave it at?"
"Hey, wish I have a license," Raye replied. "Maybe you can
return the ticket?"
"I can't now. The train leaves this afternoon. Besides, I DO
feel like taking the train…but how will I…"
"Maybe you can tell Darien to drive you there."
"What about Chad?" Serena asked, ignoring what Raye had just
said, "He can drive me there, drive my car back here, and just leave
it in the garage until I come back."
Raye shook her head apologetically. "His license got taken by
the police last month."
"What?!" Serena exclaimed. "How? How come no one told me?"
"Do you really think that Chad would voluntarily offer to tell
you something like this?"
Serena sighed again. "So now what am I supposed to do?"
"Like I said, tell Darien to drive you."
"And where is Darien?"
"Out somewhere right now, but he'll come back. I can call him
on his cell."
"He has a cell?" Serena was aghast.
Raye grinned at the expression on her friend's face. "Yeah,
only he hardly ever use it. Since, uh, his dad gave it to him."
Serena frowned. "So what if his dad gave it to him?"
Raye grimaced, and shook her head. "Long story. I'll tell you
sometime when we have time."
"Okay, so he has a cell. But, Raye…really, I don't want Darien
to be the last person I see before I go. Actually, I don't want to see
Darien at all. Maybe you have some other friends…?"
"They're all either somewhere at vacation with family, or
they're not gonna be able to help because they have a life--unlike me."
Serena rolled her eyes. "Isn't Chad your life?"
Raye hit her gently on the arm. "Hey, we're not that serious,
okay?"
"You're becoming to be that serious," she replied sweetly,
batting her eyelashes at Raye. She laughed.
"Okay, seriously. Let me just call some friends that are
actually in the city for the summer and see if they can help." Raye
left the room with a smile.
"Thanks! And hurry!" Serena called after her. She sat down on
her bed with a heavy sigh.
Darien walked around in the store aimlessly. He looked at one
thing and after he realized he didn't need it, he put it down, and
started to look at something else. Same thing happened again and again
until he finally realized that he was done with shopping. And this time
it was without Raye nagging at his ears.
He sighed and leaned against a wall. He didn't want to go home.
Didn't want to see Serena. Didn't want to be reminded, AGAIN, that he
was a coward.
Then he shook his head. What the hell was he doing?
He had never ever NOT do anything because of a girl. But now,
because of Serena, he didn't even feel like going home. His own home,
for goodness sake, where Serena was PAYING to be lived.
Darien straightened up, and headed for the door.
Paying to be lived…paying to be lived…maybe I could have her
move out of the house…
He stopped so suddenly that someone crashed into him. The woman
gave him a dirty look, and walked around. He sighed. Man, what was I
thinking? Have her out of the house? For what? Just because we had the
same dream? Because that I found out that I am actually attracted to
her? That I actually wrote poems-for the first time--about her?
He closed his eyes.
Nope, those aren't it. No, because, for the first time in my
life, I actually care about a girl so deeply…so weirdly…so… "For god's
sake, I can't even stand that she acted careless about the fact
that we were going to stay the way we were."
He frowned. This wasn't good. He was talking to himself. He
wasn't in control. He wasn't in control of his mind, his mouth, his words…
He needed to get control. He needed to be in control if he was going to
have a relationship, if it was even possible--with Serena.
But THAT wasn't possible, either. He knew it--because Serena
wanted control, too.
He smiled. First time he met a girl like that. First time he
met a girl who made him lose his cool, made his lose his control. Made
him acted like a coward, bolting out of the "dream-confrontation" scene.
And made him do what he was doing now, standing in the middle of a store,
not even wanting to go back to his own house…because he didn't want to
see her.
How did this happen? Man, if I were only there on that day when
Raye and Chad interviewed Serena…if I were only there…I could've
prevented all of this. I could've, like I always did, picked out
something that I didn't like about her, and convince Raye and Chad… But…
the reason I wasn't there that day WAS because I DIDN'T want to do that
again. I DIDN'T want to pick out another mistake…I WANTED Raye and Chad
to interview someone and maybe even like that person, and…
He grunted. Maybe it had something to do with fate.
Right.
That was crap.
Darien ran a hand through his hair, and walked some steps more
until the automatic doors opened and he walked out.
Walking to his car, he realized that he had just wasted two
hours in a store he rarely came to, and he bought nothing. Absolutely
nothing.
Add that to the list of things the appearance of Serena has
made me do. He thought as he climbed into his car.
"I got it!" Raye exclaimed, practically running into Serena's
room.
Serena closed her drawer. "You did?"
"Yeah, her name is Mye, and she lives just a few blocks away.
She used to be in one of my classes. She can come anytime to get you to
the train station," Raye told her, eyes dancing.
"Oh thank you!" Serena grinned. "Call her and ask if it is okay
for her to come now, so I can put my luggage in the car…and maybe treat
her to lunch or something."
Raye laughed. "It's just a car drive down to the train station."
"True. Well, maybe just let her stay here and you guys can catch
up or something."
"Why you need to put the luggage in right now?"
"I don't know. But it's best to prepare before time. So that
when the time comes for me to leave, I can just jump in the car and not
worry about whether I had left this, or that, or whatever."
"Cool. Okay, I'll call her. I want to talk to her, actually,
though, about this guy that I've seen her with on campus…" Raye trailed
off as she picked up the phone.
"Hi Mye, my name is Serena. Thank you for, you know, driving me
to the train station later on," Serena said, smiling at the red haired
girl in front of her.
Mye Evans smiled back. "Oh, don't worry. Me and Raye used to be
good friends. I love to lend a hand when I could."
"How about I leave you and Raye to your catching ups? And if
you're hungry, we can go out for lunch, my treat. The train leaves at
3:35, so we probably should go around 3 o'clock."
"Yeah, sounds like you have it all planned out." Mye grinned.
"Wanna put the luggage in my car first?"
Serena was amazed. "Um, uh…sure. It's just a duffel bag and a
knapsack. Not much."
"Want me to help you?"
"No, it's okay, thanks anyway."
"Here's the keys." Mye fished out the keys from her purse and
gave it to Serena. "The one with the blue coating. My car's a red
little convertible. I love it to death." She winked at Serena.
"Thanks," Serena said again, and walked to the door.
Raye smiled at her, and then turned to Mye. "So…tell me
about this new guy I've seen you with…"
Mye rolled her eyes, but grinned. "Oh, man…"
Serena took her duffel bag in one arm, and the knapsack in the
other. She walked out the front door to the street, and saw the red
convertible parked by the other side of the street. She walked across,
and opened the trunk with the key.
She put in the duffel bag first, shoving it to the side, and
then put in her knapsack. She closed off the trunk with a push, and
turned around. She gave a start.
Darien was right behind her, staring at the closed trunk of
the convertible.
"What is this?"
**************
Ummm…heh! I finished this part! It took me a long time…and I've had my
so-called "writer's block"…but it's gone!
Be sure to email me with comments!
Visit my website at: http://www6.ewebcity.com/moonieround
Author: Henra
Email: HenraM@tuxedomask.com
Rated: PG
…
Ummm…ehhh…okay, so I took a long time.
*clears throat*
Hope you…like this chapter?
Errr…oh yeah. Be ware of some really bad poetry in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. This is a work of fiction.
**************
"Where the hell is he?" Raye muttered, pacing around the living
room.
Chad, who was sitting on the sofa, shrugged. "Who knows? You
know him."
She stopped. "Yeah. I know him," she said softly. "Oooh!" She
started to move again. "I wish I just know him even better--so I know
where to find him right now, and talk some sense into him."
"Why do you suppose he left?"
Raye stared at Chad, confusion written all over her face. "God…
I have no idea. I mean, Serena just briefly explained it to me…but I
still don't get it. So they had the same dream. What is it that made him
leave?"
Chad stood up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around Raye.
"You know Darien as well as I do that whenever something he has
absolutely no preparation for happens, he walks away. Just like that.
Do you even remember all those times when he walked out on those girls?"
Raye sighed, and leaned against him. "Of course I do. But--right
now, I only care about Serena. I mean, she's upstairs--and must be trying
to figure out what exactly went wrong."
"You know…maybe the dream…maybe the dream was something extreme."
She pulled away and looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know. But maybe the dream…maybe the whole reason for
his leaving is because of what the dream was about."
She slowly nodded, a new realization running in her mind. "I see
what you mean. But--we don't know what really happened, so…"
"Bet you can find out."
She smiled at him. "Chad…I'm so glad you're here…"
He smiled back, and planted a small kiss on her forehead. "Me,
too. Now, come on--be a friend and go comfort Serena."
Raye nodded, and started her way upstairs, hoping that her own
cheerfulness would somehow rub off on her friend.
Darien saw a large parking lot just some feet away. He flashed
the right turn signal, and turned when no cars was coming for a few
seconds. He parked on the first empty space he saw. He killed the engine,
and sighed.
Now what was he going to do?
Go to one of the bushes and hide there?
He shook his head, and slumped against his seat. God, Caseley,
you are such a coward.
He smiled bitterly. Oh yes, he was a coward. He was such a coward
that he didn't even dare to come out and admit that the dream had gotten
into him.
What could he do now?
He sighed again, and looked out the window. People walked by,
living their own lives, and going back and forth like they knew exactly
what they were doing, what was happening, why it was happening, and how
come it happened.
Unlike him.
Dammit, why did he and Serena have the same dream? And why had
it gotten under his skin?
Suddenly, his stomach growled. His eyes traveled around the
stores around the plaza. Papa Joe's. He didn't even realize that he was
here.
His stomach called again.
He groaned, pulled out the key, and opened the door.
He locked the doors and while putting the keys in his pocket,
he walked toward the pizza place.
Serena punched her pillow.
She punched it again. And again. And again. All the while
pretending that it was Darien's face.
Then she decided it wasn't his face, it was hers. Hers for
being so stupid. And then she decided that it wasn't anyone's face, that
she was only using it as a punching bag to get rid of the anger and hurt
she had inside.
A tear slid down the side of her cheek.
Damn you, Darien. Damn you, for running out like that. Damn
you, for you just couldn't be all arrogant--nooo, you had to buy that
milk, making me feel as if there was more to you. And DAMN you, Darien,
for having to had the same dream.
She punched the pillow again.
This time she decided that it definitely was Darien's face.
And she punched it again and again.
God. This is not how I should react. If he knew I was acting
like this…Ugh. I've got to get a grip. She wiped away the tear, and got
up from her bed, smoothing her knee-length skirt.
There was a knock on the door.
She cleared her throat, and opened the door. "Raye!" she said,
surprised.
"Serena…hi." Raye smiled at her.
"Hey. Um, come in." She led Raye over to the bed, and sat down.
"Is something wrong?"
"No! I, uh--just wanted to see if you were okay."
She felt a tremble go through her. "What do you mean? I'm fine."
"Oh, come on, Serena. You can tell me. I mean, I know that you
and I are not exactly best friends, not like how you and Mina were, but
I can be a good listener, too, you know, if I really wanted to. And I
want to right now. Please, would you tell me what just happened?"
Serena looked at Raye. She let a tear slide down her face. "Oh,
Raye…"
Raye leaned over and hugged her. "It's okay, tell me."
She sighed, and cleared her throat a bit. "Darien and I had the
same dream yesterday night. The dream was…I can't remember much from it,
but I remember that in the dream, I had kissed this…dark haired guy…in
front of a two-stories house. And I remember some words that we had
exchanged, but that's not important. Anyway, after I woke up, I wasn't…
very sure who the guy was…until I had mentioned it to Darien…and turned
out…he had the dream, too. And so, you know…"
"You're the girl, and he's the guy," Raye filled in.
"Yeah. And after that, I mean, we just went to this…staring
into each other's eyes thing, until, um, you and Chad came downstairs.
Then, you saw it--Darien just suddenly snapped, and totally tensed. And
then before I knew what happened, he was out the door. And we hadn't
even gotten to talk about the dream. I mean," she laughed bitterly at
this, "if there even is anything to talk ABOUT."
Raye sighed. "So that was the dream."
"Uh-huh."
"Gosh, I'm sorry, Serena. Darien--he's just like that. When
something that he doesn't have preparations for happens, he backs away.
And I'm sure that this same dream thing was not within his preparations
whatever. He doesn't like having anyone get too close. Not even me,
believe me. I mean, he is just like that. That's how he is. You can't
change it."
"I know, but…Raye, I want to talk to him! I want to know how he
feels about the dream. I mean, come on!" Serena stood up, and started to
walk around. "We had the same dream on the same night, and we woke up at
the same time, too, after the dream! I mean, don't you think that counts
for something?"
Raye nodded.
"And…I just want to know…how he feels and stuff."
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then, "You really care about him, don't you?"
That took Serena by surprise. She looked at Raye, a slightly
shocked expression on her face. "What?"
"Darien. You really care about Darien. I mean, you never show
it…but…it's there, isn't it?"
She looked at her friend. Then, she sighed and closed her eyes.
"Yeah well, it's not supposed to be there."
"How do you know?"
Serena laughed bitterly. "Look where it has gotten me! Nowhere.
Just left me here, hurt and confused, and wondering if…if…anything's
changed or not."
"Believe me, something's changed. I saw Darien's face when he
zoomed out the door."
Serena looked at Raye, and smiled sadly. "So? What does it mean
exactly? That's what I want to know. I mean, DID anything change? If it
did, then WHAT changed? The way that we're going to treat each other? I
don't know! And that's what's making me feel so…confused…" She sat down
on the bed again, one hand pressed against her forehead.
Raye stared at her friend, and sighed heavily. Then she shook
her head, and anger began bubbling up inside her. "I can't believe that
Darien could be so irresponsible, and uncaring. I mean, hello? I know he
cares about you, yet he doesn't even have the courage to stay and talk
things through. You know what, I am going out right now. To find him.
And I am going to talk some sense into him."
With that, before Serena could say anything, Raye left.
Serena closed her eyes.
She let out a sigh, and tried to clear her mind.
Maybe Raye was going to find Darien, but who knew when? She had
to know what made Darien leave like that. What had made him do it. She
had to know how he was feeling…even if it was just a plain guess.
Suddenly, an idea got into her head.
It's risky…and it's very, very…alarming…but…
She walked out to the hallway. Past Chad's room, and started
down the stairs.
No one was in the living room. So Chad went with Raye.
Serena turned the knob on Darien's door. She exhaled slowly as
she made her way in his room. She closed the door behind her.
She looked around.
Messy. What did she expect? Super clean?
Like that would happen for ANY guy.
She walked around slowly, eyeing everything carefully. She felt
a bit guilty, since she knew that Darien would explode if he found out
that she was in his room, supposedly searching for an answer as to why
he had left. If she was actually going to find any. Then she pushed it
away. She HAD to get some kind of clues. And she knew that there was no
better way to get to know him than to look around his room.
Her eyes wandered over the unmade bed, and suddenly landed on
the desk. Borrowing the sunlight shined in from the window, she saw that
his desk was full of dust. She rolled her eyes.
She walked on over, and saw one of the drawers hanging open.
She paused for a few seconds before she opened it fully.
Inside was nothing but a blue spiral notebook. She was about to
close the drawer again, but then hesitated, as something struck her.
She pulled out the notebook. Biting her lip, she wondered what
was inside.
Perhaps it is a diary?
She nearly laughed out loud. Right. Like a guy like Darien
actually wrote ANYTHING.
Then she frowned. But what if he did?
I'll put it back as soon as I see that there's something
private inside. With that thought in mind, Serena felt a little bit
better. Besides, last time he read my private letter to Mina. We're
even now. She opened the notebook, and her eyes immediately found the
writings in black ink.
She realized in shock that it was actually a phrase.
In fact, a lot of phrases--one phrase per line.
Then she knew that she was about to read a poem. A poem written
by Darien Caseley.
Her eyes scanned the lines.
Without any explanation
She walked in
And changed everything
Who is she?
Why is she here?
I want to know
But yet I'm scared
She represents something
Carries something with her
Maybe
Just maybe
One day we'll stop with the nonsense
And I'll know her
And love her.
Serena breathed in deeply. Oh. My. God.
She didn't even think of the possibility that the poem could be
about her. She swallowed, and closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she reread the poem. And found, at
the very last line on the page, a line of small writing: As of 7-21.
Two weeks ago.
Three weeks after she moved in.
She decided to move on and see if there was anything more. She
flipped the page.
There was.
She looked at it. She glanced at the clock.
She hoped no one would be home any time soon. Especially not
Darien. She went outside to the living room, and sat down on the sofa,
placing a cushion behind her.
She couldn't help but smile. Just a few minutes ago she had
wanted him to come home so badly so they could talk, but now she didn't.
She read the page.
Nice
Friendly
Happy
How she is with other people
Cool
Arrogant
Derisive
How she is with me
Cheerful
Warm
Smiling
How I wish she would be with me
Truth is…
Will she ever?
Serena blinked.
No way. It was beginning to sound like…
"Cool. Arrogant. Derisive." She didn't want to admit it, but it
did sound like how she usually acted around Darien.
She looked at the other page. She flipped it again, and there
was blank.
She turned back and read the third and last poem in the book
more carefully.
A kiss in a dream
Does it mean anything?
I feel
As if I did something wrong
Confused
Utterly confused as I am
She's still the same
Maybe--
Serena frowned. The poem wasn't finished. There was a word
after "Maybe", but it was crossed out. She lifted it up, trying to see
through it, but couldn't make out anything. She sighed.
A kiss in a dream.
She knew for sure that he was talking about the dream--the same
dream that they both had yesterday night. Wow. He had just written in
this notebook this morning.
She breathed in and out. If only he finished writing it…then
she could get what she went into his room looking for…
She got up and started walking back to his room.
She opened the drawer, and placed the notebook gently inside.
She stared at the cover for a very long time. She smiled softly.
So she still didn't know what made him bolt out like that. Of
course, she could go back to his room again…but she felt as if she
already did enough to invade his privacy. Still…she discovered something
today.
Darien Caseley actually wrote. In one way, it was surprising.
In another…it was very shocking. She shook her head, sighing. She
wondered if she would ever get to know him…the real him. She recalled
Raye's words.
She wondered if Darien would ever let her get close.
Suddenly, a noise startled her.
She realized in shock that the front door lock was being moved.
Oh my god. She quickly shut the drawer, and raced out of the
Darien's room. She practically jumped on the sofa, and grabbed one of
the magazines on the coffee table.
The door opened almost as soon as she opened the pages of the
magazine.
Darien walked in.
She looked up, and they made eye contact.
Instantly, she remembered her anger. She threw the magazine on
the sofa with more energy than needed, got up, and started walking
toward the stairs.
"Serena."
She stopped.
"We need to talk."
She hated the way his voice sounded.
All calm and serious, as if closing a business deal.
She turned around, a scowl on her face. "Oh, you think?"
Truth was, she was too busy thinking about being angry she
forgot that she originally HAD wanted to talk to him.
"Yeah." He motioned to the sofa. "Sit down."
She walked back. She sat down on one end, and he sat down on
the other end.
"Where's, um, Raye and Chad?"
"They went out. To look for you, actually."
"Oh."
"So? What you want to talk about?"
"I--" He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
She realized that this was actually hard and uncomfortable for
him. She got rid of the scowl on her face.
"Listen, Serena. I--just, I mean, this dream…I…" He looked at
her, his eyes a swirl of determination…? Confusion? "Oh, hell, just tell
me what you thought about the dream."
She stared at him. "What I…thought?" Wasn't that what HE was
supposed to answer?
He sighed. "Yeah."
She shook her head, and scoffed. "Look, why don't YOU first
explain why the hell you just walked out like that. And then maybe I'll
answer your question."
"Serena…" His voice sounded tired.
"Don't 'Serena' me. Tell me! Why?!" She glared at him, crossing
her arms in front of her.
"I DON'T KNOW!!"
She pulled back at the sudden anger he expressed. Her eyes were
wide, and her pulse was beginning to race.
"I don't know," he said again, more quietly. His eyes were
concentrated on the floor. "I just knew that I had to get away…and I
didn't know why."
She sat down on the sofa. She put her head in her hands, and
began to rock back and forth.
He stayed standing. "Listen, Serena. The dream--it…did it mean
anything to you?"
She felt her heart thumping against her chest. "Did it mean
anything to YOU?" She asked back, her voice quiet.
"I…I don't know. I mean, I…have this weird feeling…but I don't
know exactly, how I feel. Or maybe it's just nothing…" He said, pulling
back.
"Per…haps." She didn't want to admit anything. "So, did
anything change?"
There was silence for a while.
Darien sighed. I hate this. I hate all confrontations…why did
I decide to come back so soon? Why oh why? He took a deep breath.
"Serena...so the dream really didn't mean anything, okay? I mean,
if you're mad that we had the same dream, and think that something's
supposed to be different now, don't worry, 'cause nothing's different.
I mean, we're still the same…I mean, we can stay the same, and pretend
that nothing happened."
She slowly raised her head, and looked at him. The words he
just spoke made their way into her head slowly, and she felt herself go
numb. So she was right. It didn't mean anything to him. It was just a
kiss in a dream. Didn't represent anything in reality.
A nightmare…
She looked at the floor unblinkingly, and said in a voice
devoid of any emotion, "I guess you're right."
He looked at her, his eyes full of doubt. "I am?" he asked in a
voice above a whisper.
She locked eyes with him. "Uh-huh."
He nodded, slowly, as if confirming everything in his head once
more. "So what happens now?"
"Now we go back to our own lives…" she replied, swallowing a
lump in her throat, "go live everyday the same that we did before."
"Right." His voice was flat.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt tears gathering in her eyes.
"Excuse me." She stood up, and went up the stairs before he could see
them.
In her room, Serena leaned against the closed door. She took
heavy breaths, but tears still rolled down her face uncontrollably. She
gradually slid against the door until she had sat down on the floor.
Look. Look what's happened. You got your hopes up. She sighed
heavily, and wiped away some tears with the back of her hand. She closed
her eyes, biting her lip. I can't believe that I let this happen to
myself. What have I done? Then, she shook her head, and got up from the
floor. No, no, no. I cannot act like this. We're going to live our lives
the way that we had lived it before. What's so different about that? What
did I expect to happen anyways?
She walked to the mirror, and stared at her reflection.
Waited that long for the chance to talk to him…and she had
gotten nothing from it. In fact, she might have just lost something.
She felt tears gathering in her eyes.
I need to get away. She suddenly realized. Her eyes widened,
and she thought of it once more. I do. I need to get away. She looked
at a small calendar on her desk. Only three weeks before the fall
semester begins. I have time.
She walked over to her bed, and sat down, thinking about her
new idea carefully. "Where could I go?" she asked herself. "Amy!" She
straightened up, and a small smile formed on her face. "I haven't seen
her in months. Not since last Christmas."
She got up, and opened her closet, locating her blue duffel bag.
She pulled it out, and placed it against one side of the bed.
She looked at it…rather sadly.
Darien paced around in the living room.
What the hell had just happened?
He HAD wanted to come home, HAD wanted to talk to Serena, HAD
wanted to straighten everything out…but what HAD happened instead?
Nothing.
Except Serena and he decided that things would go back to
normal.
Which WAS nothing.
He sighed, and ran a hand through his tousled hair. He sat down
on the sofa, and leaned against it, along with another sigh.
The front door opened.
He opened his eyes. Raye and Chad.
"Oh hey, Darien! You're back!" Chad exclaimed, kicking off his
shoes.
Darien saw Raye follow Chad's gaze. Uh-oh.
"Darien!! Where the HELL did you go? Do you even KNOW how Serena
was feeling after you just left like that, without so much as telling
CRAP where you were going?" Raye marched over to him, and glared at him.
He stood up. He towered over his cousin for over half a feet,
buthe felt as if he were only two inches tall. "Listen, Raye, I--"
"You were always a jerk, I admit it. Always so cold, and so
arrogant, but NOW I'VE HAD IT! I used to hold it in, used to let you get
away, but now, after what happened, YOU ARE GOING DOWN! I can't take this
anymore! You can't be a ghost-stay whenever you want, go whenever you want,
you just CAN'T anymore! You--"
"Yes, I can!!" Darien suddenly yelled back. He had enough of
Raye's yelling. "It's my own life that I'm living, okay? You, or anyone
else, can't control it! You can't tell me what to do! And you sure as
hell cannot tell me when I should stay in this house, and when I should
leave! I can stay or leave WHENEVER I WANT!"
"Do you even CARE that I care about you? That, every time when
you leave without a word, I would wonder where you are? Do you even know
that? Huh?? You know what, honestly, I really DON'T care if you're cold
with me, because that's how you are. But I won't stand it if you do that
to a vulnerable Serena! And you should SEE how vulnerable she is right
now!"
"Raye, you're not making sense!" Chad suddenly told her, grabbing
her arm.
"Let go of me! I need to talk to him, whether I make sense or
NOT!" She swung away her arm, and faced Darien once again.
He stepped away. "You can talk all you want, Raye, but I'm not
listening. I'm going to my room if you need me." He started to walk away.
That froze Raye cold. That move had irated her, and she stomped
her foot. "I need you right now! To crack some sense into that
knucklehead of yours!"
But Darien was already in his room, and had closed the door.
Inside, he sat down on his bed, and put his head in his hands.
Damn this. Damn her. Damn every damned people in this world who are
driving me crazy!
He sighed. This isn't helping me. Not helping me at all.
He looked up at the ceiling. He wondered what was Serena doing
up there in her room. There were only a few weeks until the fall semester
started, and he guessed that she was getting ready.
He got up. He should, too. Maybe go buy a new backpack. The old
one was too old, he was afraid the straps would break if he put anything
too heavy. He looked at the big calendar plastered on his wall. Raye had
taped it there. Said something about wanting him to keep up with everyone
else's life. Whatever that meant.
He changed shirts, and stuffed his wallet down his jeans.
Turning the doorknob with his right hand, his left hand reached for the
blue cap that was sitting on the second section of the small shelf by
the door.
He walked outside carefully. Raye and Chad weren't there.
He breathed a sigh of relief. He walked through the so-called
family room, and opened the door to the garage. He got out his car keys,
and unlocked the car.
Seemed like all he did lately was heading out.
One ring, two ring, three ring…and someone picked up.
"Hey, is this Amy?" Serena asked, smiling already.
"Oh my GOD, Serena, is that you???"
She smiled, and fell down on her bed, handling the phone with
her right hand. "Yes, Amy, it's me. Surprise!"
Amy Maitlin, who had been one of her close friends at the
beginning of freshman year, but had moved away after one semester ended,
laughed on the other end. "So what's up with you?"
"Well…a lot. But I'll tell you later…face-to-face," she replied,
fiddling with the bed comforter.
There was a moment of silence.
Then Amy asked quietly, "So you're saying you're coming over
here, or are you asking me to go over there?"
Serena sighed. "Me go over to your place."
"Oh my gosh!!" Amy exclaimed. "When, when, when? I mean, you
can? I mean, you actually want to? It's right in the middle of summer,
right here might be hotter than where you are…but you'll get used to
it--"
"Amy, Amy!" Serena couldn't help but laugh. "I'm coming
tomorrow."
There was silence again.
Then, "OH MY GOSH!!"
Serena laughed and then sighed deeply. So it was set. She
looked out her window. She was going to spend the rest of her summer
with Amy. In another city.
"Morning," Raye said as she walked in the kitchen.
Chad, who was sitting on a stool around the middle counter,
looked up and smiled. "Morning."
She walked over and they shared a kiss. She walked over to the
fridge, and opened it, scanning the items inside. "Where's Serena and
Darien?"
"Darien went out again, to get supplies. And I think Serena's
still up in her room, sleeping," he replied, turning back to eating his
cereals.
"Again? What's going on with him this year? He never wanted to
go out to buy supplies unless he really, desperately needed it. And even
if he did, he never went out more than once. But now twice, already? What
could he buy now? I already saw new backpack, pens, notebook…yaddy yaddy
yadda, what else could he buy?" She closed the fridge. "There's nothing
to eat."
"Look in the cabinets. Anyways, who cares, as long as he does
get his supplies, right?"
"Right." She got out a nutrition bar from the cabinet. "Oh! Where
did this come from? I don't remember buying any bars, is it yours?"
"It's mine, but you can eat it," a new voice said.
"Morning, Serena," Raye and Chad both greeted at once.
Serena, wearing a black tank-top and a pair of khaki capris,
smiled as she sat down on a stool beside Chad. "Get me one, too."
"Here ya go." Raye tossed a bar to her.
"Thanks." She unwrapped the wrapper, and began to eat. "So, um,
guys, I'll be spending whatever's left of summer at one of my close
friends' house, okay?"
Raye and Chad looked at her.
"Really?" Chad asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his
hand.
"Yeah. It's Amy," she looked at Raye, "you remember her?"
"Uh-huh, I think. That girl with the blue highlights hair,
right?" Raye leaned on the counter across from her. "Why the sudden urge
to leave? I mean, there's only a few more weeks."
"I know. But, you know, I feel like going somewhere. I WANT to
go to London," she smiled sadly, "to visit Mina, but I can't. So I guess
I'll take the next best choice."
Raye nodded. "Did you tell Darien yet?"
Serena gave her a look. "What does Darien have to do with
anything? He doesn't need to know."
"You told us."
"Well, I was hoping that you guys could pass the words to him,"
she said, taking another bite of her bar.
Raye and Chad shared a look.
"What?" She stopped chewing.
Raye sighed, and shook her head. "Can't do it this time. He's
mad at me, and besides, I'm mad at him, too. I don't want to talk to
him that soon."
Serena glanced at Chad, and raised her eyebrow.
"Just tell him yourself, what's the big deal?" Chad offered,
finishing his cereals with one last gulp, and got up from the stool.
She looked down at her bar, and thought about it. "Forget it.
It's not like he WANTS or NEEDS to know. He'll just know about it after
I'm gone--that is, if he even notice."
The bitter way that she had spoken the last sentence did not go
unnoticed by Raye and Chad. They just ignored it.
"A duffel bag and a knapsack. That all you're bringing?"
Raye asked, sticking her head in Serena's room.
Serena looked up and shrugged. "I don't need that much. Only a
few more weeks, that's all. Besides, this duffel bag is sort of big."
"When you leaving?"
She zipped the duffel bag and smiled at her friend. "Today."
Raye's eyes widened. "What? TODAY?"
"Yeah. I bought the train ticket just yesterday night." She
took it out of her pocket and waved it around in Raye's face.
Raye grabbed it. "Serena! You could've told us at LEAST two
days early!"
She shrugged, and took the ticket back. "What's the point?"
"I don't know. But at least it would make me feel that I'm
actually worth telling to."
Serena stared at her friend. "Raye…"
"I'm serious, Serena." Raye stared back at her.
She sighed. "Look, so much has happened in the last…few days.
And I really feel like…taking a break."
"By break, you mean taking a break from Darien, from this house…
but not from me, right?"
She smiled and went over to give Raye a hug. "Yes."
Raye hugged her back.
"Now, come on, help me get this to my car--Oh no…" Serena
groaned, and stomped her foot. "Damn! How come I didn't think of my
car? I'm taking the train, and if I drive my car there, where will I
leave it at?"
"Hey, wish I have a license," Raye replied. "Maybe you can
return the ticket?"
"I can't now. The train leaves this afternoon. Besides, I DO
feel like taking the train…but how will I…"
"Maybe you can tell Darien to drive you there."
"What about Chad?" Serena asked, ignoring what Raye had just
said, "He can drive me there, drive my car back here, and just leave
it in the garage until I come back."
Raye shook her head apologetically. "His license got taken by
the police last month."
"What?!" Serena exclaimed. "How? How come no one told me?"
"Do you really think that Chad would voluntarily offer to tell
you something like this?"
Serena sighed again. "So now what am I supposed to do?"
"Like I said, tell Darien to drive you."
"And where is Darien?"
"Out somewhere right now, but he'll come back. I can call him
on his cell."
"He has a cell?" Serena was aghast.
Raye grinned at the expression on her friend's face. "Yeah,
only he hardly ever use it. Since, uh, his dad gave it to him."
Serena frowned. "So what if his dad gave it to him?"
Raye grimaced, and shook her head. "Long story. I'll tell you
sometime when we have time."
"Okay, so he has a cell. But, Raye…really, I don't want Darien
to be the last person I see before I go. Actually, I don't want to see
Darien at all. Maybe you have some other friends…?"
"They're all either somewhere at vacation with family, or
they're not gonna be able to help because they have a life--unlike me."
Serena rolled her eyes. "Isn't Chad your life?"
Raye hit her gently on the arm. "Hey, we're not that serious,
okay?"
"You're becoming to be that serious," she replied sweetly,
batting her eyelashes at Raye. She laughed.
"Okay, seriously. Let me just call some friends that are
actually in the city for the summer and see if they can help." Raye
left the room with a smile.
"Thanks! And hurry!" Serena called after her. She sat down on
her bed with a heavy sigh.
Darien walked around in the store aimlessly. He looked at one
thing and after he realized he didn't need it, he put it down, and
started to look at something else. Same thing happened again and again
until he finally realized that he was done with shopping. And this time
it was without Raye nagging at his ears.
He sighed and leaned against a wall. He didn't want to go home.
Didn't want to see Serena. Didn't want to be reminded, AGAIN, that he
was a coward.
Then he shook his head. What the hell was he doing?
He had never ever NOT do anything because of a girl. But now,
because of Serena, he didn't even feel like going home. His own home,
for goodness sake, where Serena was PAYING to be lived.
Darien straightened up, and headed for the door.
Paying to be lived…paying to be lived…maybe I could have her
move out of the house…
He stopped so suddenly that someone crashed into him. The woman
gave him a dirty look, and walked around. He sighed. Man, what was I
thinking? Have her out of the house? For what? Just because we had the
same dream? Because that I found out that I am actually attracted to
her? That I actually wrote poems-for the first time--about her?
He closed his eyes.
Nope, those aren't it. No, because, for the first time in my
life, I actually care about a girl so deeply…so weirdly…so… "For god's
sake, I can't even stand that she acted careless about the fact
that we were going to stay the way we were."
He frowned. This wasn't good. He was talking to himself. He
wasn't in control. He wasn't in control of his mind, his mouth, his words…
He needed to get control. He needed to be in control if he was going to
have a relationship, if it was even possible--with Serena.
But THAT wasn't possible, either. He knew it--because Serena
wanted control, too.
He smiled. First time he met a girl like that. First time he
met a girl who made him lose his cool, made his lose his control. Made
him acted like a coward, bolting out of the "dream-confrontation" scene.
And made him do what he was doing now, standing in the middle of a store,
not even wanting to go back to his own house…because he didn't want to
see her.
How did this happen? Man, if I were only there on that day when
Raye and Chad interviewed Serena…if I were only there…I could've
prevented all of this. I could've, like I always did, picked out
something that I didn't like about her, and convince Raye and Chad… But…
the reason I wasn't there that day WAS because I DIDN'T want to do that
again. I DIDN'T want to pick out another mistake…I WANTED Raye and Chad
to interview someone and maybe even like that person, and…
He grunted. Maybe it had something to do with fate.
Right.
That was crap.
Darien ran a hand through his hair, and walked some steps more
until the automatic doors opened and he walked out.
Walking to his car, he realized that he had just wasted two
hours in a store he rarely came to, and he bought nothing. Absolutely
nothing.
Add that to the list of things the appearance of Serena has
made me do. He thought as he climbed into his car.
"I got it!" Raye exclaimed, practically running into Serena's
room.
Serena closed her drawer. "You did?"
"Yeah, her name is Mye, and she lives just a few blocks away.
She used to be in one of my classes. She can come anytime to get you to
the train station," Raye told her, eyes dancing.
"Oh thank you!" Serena grinned. "Call her and ask if it is okay
for her to come now, so I can put my luggage in the car…and maybe treat
her to lunch or something."
Raye laughed. "It's just a car drive down to the train station."
"True. Well, maybe just let her stay here and you guys can catch
up or something."
"Why you need to put the luggage in right now?"
"I don't know. But it's best to prepare before time. So that
when the time comes for me to leave, I can just jump in the car and not
worry about whether I had left this, or that, or whatever."
"Cool. Okay, I'll call her. I want to talk to her, actually,
though, about this guy that I've seen her with on campus…" Raye trailed
off as she picked up the phone.
"Hi Mye, my name is Serena. Thank you for, you know, driving me
to the train station later on," Serena said, smiling at the red haired
girl in front of her.
Mye Evans smiled back. "Oh, don't worry. Me and Raye used to be
good friends. I love to lend a hand when I could."
"How about I leave you and Raye to your catching ups? And if
you're hungry, we can go out for lunch, my treat. The train leaves at
3:35, so we probably should go around 3 o'clock."
"Yeah, sounds like you have it all planned out." Mye grinned.
"Wanna put the luggage in my car first?"
Serena was amazed. "Um, uh…sure. It's just a duffel bag and a
knapsack. Not much."
"Want me to help you?"
"No, it's okay, thanks anyway."
"Here's the keys." Mye fished out the keys from her purse and
gave it to Serena. "The one with the blue coating. My car's a red
little convertible. I love it to death." She winked at Serena.
"Thanks," Serena said again, and walked to the door.
Raye smiled at her, and then turned to Mye. "So…tell me
about this new guy I've seen you with…"
Mye rolled her eyes, but grinned. "Oh, man…"
Serena took her duffel bag in one arm, and the knapsack in the
other. She walked out the front door to the street, and saw the red
convertible parked by the other side of the street. She walked across,
and opened the trunk with the key.
She put in the duffel bag first, shoving it to the side, and
then put in her knapsack. She closed off the trunk with a push, and
turned around. She gave a start.
Darien was right behind her, staring at the closed trunk of
the convertible.
"What is this?"
**************
Ummm…heh! I finished this part! It took me a long time…and I've had my
so-called "writer's block"…but it's gone!
Be sure to email me with comments!
Visit my website at: http://www6.ewebcity.com/moonieround