Disclaimer: looks fic over> Nope. Don't own anything, except the plot. It's mine, all mine, I tell you!!! MWAHAHAHA!! ...Oops. Heh heh.
Warnings: Hmm. Little bit of swearing, courtesy of Spike. Other than that, it's clean.
Crash Landing Love
Chapter 1
"Lost and Found"
Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th sat at the window of the
Bebop, her face pressed against the glass.
"Whennnn are we going to beeeee there, Faye-Faye???" she moaned.
"In a million years," Faye Valentine, a fellow resident of the
spaceship, replied dryly.
"Ooooohhhh. What is the pretty planet Ed sees? Tell Ed, Faye-Faye!"
"It's called Cephiro. We'll pass it in a minute."
Ed blinked. "Faye-Faye?"
"What now?" the violet-haired older woman replied irritably.
Jet and Spike had retreated to the cockpit of the Bebop hours earlier,
leaving her alone with the bouncing redhead and her dog. It was trying
Faye's nerves.
"What is funny-funny noise Ed hears?"
"Wha?" Faye sat up straight, listening intently. Now that the
younger girl mentioned it, there was a funny churning sound emitting from
the ship they were on. "Hey, Spike! What the heck are you pulling up there?
This piece of junk is making noises again!"
"Huh?" the green-haired man called back. "Noises? ....Oh, shit."
"Spike? Spike, what's wrong?" Faye yelled, suddenly concerned.
A stream of expletives rained down from the pilot's seat of the
Bebop.
"Ooh, look, Faye-Faye! Cephiro's growing! It gets biggy-biggy-big!!!!"
Ed sang, dancing around in a circle.
Faye dashed to the window next to Ed. Sure enough, Cephiro was
looming larger and larger as the distance between their ship and the planet
quickly decreased. The sparkling celestial body was suddenly looking significantly
less appealing now that it was set on a crash course with the Bebop.
Faye had enough time to mutter a few choice words before they
entered Cephiro's atmosphere and the friction knocked her against the wall,
unconscious.
~*~
The first thing Ed was aware of was a thudding pain in her head.
Her eyes fluttered open as she winced.
"Owowowowowow....Ed's head hurts," she muttered, sitting up and
holding her head. She blinked confusedly, forgetting about the ache in
her head as she got a glimpse of her surroundings.
"Ed does not remember landing in a forest," she mused, scratching
her head. "Ow!" Now avoiding touching her head because of her lingering
headache, the redhead pulled herself to her feet.
"Today! April 27! Ed lands on a straaaaaaange foresty planeeeeetttt!!!
What will happen? Will anybody knoooooowww???" she caroled to no one in
particular. "And where are Faye-Faye, Jet-Jet, Ein, and the guy with the
hair? Ed should find them," she added. She spun around in a circle with
her eyes closed and finger pointed outwards. "Ed will goooo....that way!!"
Ed proclaimed. With that, she left the clearing.
Unfortunately for Ed, she had chosen the wrong direction.
~*~
"...aye! Faye!"
Faye could barely make out a voice calling her name. Everything
was dark. Where was she?
"All right, Faye, if you don't wake up RIGHT NOW, I'm stealing
every last one of your cigarettes!!"
She opened her eyes and sat up in a hurry. "What was that, Spike
Spiegel?" she growled menacingly from her seat on the grass.
Spike grinned. "Oh, you're up."
Faye stalked up to where Spike was standing. "You didn't touch
my cigarettes, did you? Answer carefully if you want to live."
"Your cigarettes? Nah, I don't even know where they are. Heck,
I don't even know where *we* are, never mind your cigs."
"Good. Let's keep it that way." The rest of Spike's information
sunk into Faye's consciousness, bringing an onslaught of problems to mind.
"What do you mean, you don't know where we are?!?!"
"What, did your brain get even more damaged in the crash? It
means that we're lost."
Suddenly, the answers to all of Faye's problems seemed to involve
killing Spike slowly and painfully. She counted to a sufficiently high
number in her head, then asked, "So what happened? All I remember is Ed
being annoying, you swearing, the ship making weird noises, and a lot of
pain. I'm really sick of not remembering anything."
Spike got up and walked over to a rock, which he promptly sat
down on. "Well, I think we crashed on a planet."
Faye counted to a higher number. "Very good. I salute you, Captain
Obvious."
'Captain Obvious' made a face at her. "I wasn't finished yet.
I lost control of the ship when we entered the atmosphere. When I came
to, I was out here in the middle of the forest. Jet found me, and we went
looking for you. He left me in charge of getting you conscious while he's
looking for Ed. So here we are."
"Great. We're stranded on an unknown planet, we can't find Ed,
we can't find the Bebop, and I have no cigarettes. Just peachy."
"You're preachin' to the choir, Faye."
"I don't care about any choir! All I want is to find my cigarettes
and some kind of civilization!"
"I hear you loud and clear. Is that better? Geez, you take everything
so literally."
Faye ignored him. "And you don't even know what planet this is?"
"No."
"Stupid."
"I heard that!"
"I know. I meant you to."
The two glared at each other, promises of torture in their eyes.
"Hey, Faye, you're awake. Good. I- oh." Jet cut himself off when
he saw the pair glowing with anger at each other. "Great, you've been conscious
for all of five minutes and you're already at each other's throats." He
sat down on a nearby rock and waited.
~*~
Ed hummed a little tune to herself as she walked along. Nothing
here looked familiar to her, but it didn't matter to her. It was a nice
day, and Ed was on an adventure. So what if she didn't know where she was?
Ed was used to being lost by now.
She was broken out of her pleasant thoughts by the familiar sounds
of machinery. Perking up even more(if that was possible), she squealed,
"Bebop! Bebop! Ed knows where the Bebop is!!" She took off in a run toward
the racket.
~*~
"Oi, Geo! Check out what I found!" Zazu called to his partner.
"It's some old ship!"
The older man, hidden among the foliage in the forest surrounding
them, replied, "Great! Be there in a sec." A moment later, he emerged from
the bushes. He whistled.
"*Nice*," he said in appreciation. "Great work, Zazu."
"Isn't it?" the dark-haired boy enthused. "We can get all sorts
of parts from this-"
He was cut off in the middle of his sentence by a heavy, red
projectile that hurled itself at him, knocking him to the ground.
"No no no nononononono!!!! Ed says no!! Weird-hat-guy is NOT
allowed to use Bebop parts!! They are for Ed and Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet
and Ein and Spike-Spike onlyyyyyy!!" the projectile yelled directly in
Zazu's face.
"E-excuse me?!" Zazu spluttered. "Did you just call me 'weird-hat-guy'?!"
"Maybe Weird-hat-guy's hearing is bad. Yes, Ed called him weird-hat-guy!"
Ed angrily said. "But it serves Weird-hat-guy right! He wants to take Ed's
home and make it go BOOM!" As if to further prove her point, Ed leapt off
of Zazu and began doing a stress-induced dance in a circle.
"My hat is not weird!" was all Zazu could think of to say as
he pulled himself off the ground.
"Who the heck is this, and what is she talking about?" asked
Geo, who was quite confused by now. One minute he and Zazu had been peacefully
collecting junk parts for repairs, and the next, Zazu and a strange....person...were
arguing over whether his hat was weird. It failed to make any sense to
the poor GTO pilot.
"That's what I'd like to know," muttered Zazu. "All right, buddy,
what's the meaning of this? You have no right to just barge into our business
and scream at us about...about...uh, whatever you were talking about! So
what's the big idea?!"
The intruder looked indignant. "Ed is not 'buddy'! Ed is Ed!"
Geo laughed. "Zazu, this guy's crazy!"
Ed whirled around to glare at the much taller man. "Ed is NOT
a guy!" she told him loudly and forcefully, walking over to him and poking
in the chest for good measure.
Geo and Zazu looked slightly confused- aw, heck, they were totally
thrown off by that one.
"But...what? Your name is...but you...." Geo stammered, unable
to form coherent sentences.
Zazu was a little more collected. He had made it through three
strange girls showing up and interfering with their mission to Cephiro.
He had made it through seeing a planet practically crumble before his eyes.
He had made it through his role model nearly dying. He could handle a little
gender crisis. "Your name is Ed, but you're a girl? Care to explain that
one? And why in Mokona's name are you trying to steal our parts?"
"Ed's name is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th! And Ed
is not stealing parts! Weird-hat-guy is the one doing the stealing!" the
enigmatic girl shot back.
"All right, you could quit calling me that at any point in time
now!"
Ed blinked. "Well, what else should Ed call you? Ed does not
know Weird-hat-guy's name."
"I'm Zazu, OK? So could you stop insulting my hat?"
"There's no reason to get mad at Ed. Ed just wants Ed's ship
back and for Weird-"
Zazu glared at her.
"For *Zazu* and other guy to stop trying to take Bebop-home's
parts!" Ed corrected herself hastily.
It was now Zazu's turn to blink. "That's your home?"
"Yes, it's Ed's home, and Ed wants it back!"
"OK, I understand that you want it back. But why? It's totally
beat up!"
"It's Ed's home! And also Faye-Faye's home, and Jet-Jet's home,
and Ein's home, and the guy with the hair's home, too!"
"Whoa. Who are all those people?"
Ed sighed. "Faye-Faye is funny funny Faye-Faye. She gets angry
a lot. Jet-Jet likes little bonsai trees. Ein is Ed's doggy. He smells
good. And the guy with the hair has different color eyes!" she finished.
"They all live on Bebop with Ed!"
"So they're your shipmates."
Ed nodded vigorously. "But they all went bye-bye. Ed no can find
them ever since Bebop went boom."
"Your ship crashed?" Zazu questioned. Things were starting to
piece themselves together bit by bit in his mind.
He was rewarded with another nod.
"What happened?"
Ed's face took on a ponderous expression. "Well...Ed saw pretty
planet. Faye-Faye said it was Cephiro. Then it got bigger and bigger and
bigger and bigger and bigger-" -here she took a breath of air- "and bigger,
and then something went boom! Then Ed woke up in the forest, and went looking
for everyone, but found Zazu instead!"
"Oh. That's no good." Zazu paused, a little embarrassed. "Listen...I'm
sorry about trying to use your ship. It's just that I'm a mechanic, and
I need spare parts every once in a while. So when we found your ship in
such bad shape, we figured that we could use it. Sorry."
Ed grinned again. "Ed thinks it's OK. Zazu made mistake, but
it's all right now. Ed is also sorry for jumping on Zazu."
"Apology accepted."
The two smiled at each other, a mutual understanding finally
having been reached. Sadly, the moment didn't last for long.
"Hey...where's Geo?"