WWF Alone in the dark

Part 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this except for my imaginary Canadian city I suppose.

Thanks to Hel for her other idea I used in this chapter.

Jeff: Sharp knife, good knife....
Rock: Shut up.
Jeff: Sharp Knife, good knife, nicey slicey dicey...gollum..
Rock: SHUT UP!
Jeff: Stabby stabby....who's next?
Rock: WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH?!?
Jeff: NO!
Matt: Jeff! Time out!
Jeff: But Jeff don't wanna do time out!
Matt: Tough! You can join us again when you stop being a psychopath!
Jeff: Hehe! Jeff go psycho!
RVD: Kewel.
Rock: No it is not kewel, it is VERY ANNOYING!
RVD: Matt, Jeff is behaving like he is the one who killed Austin and Undertaker.
Matt: HAHAHA! What a silly suggestion...right, Jeff?
Jeff: GWAHAHAHAHA! Jeff psychopath!
RVD: ......Just keep him away from me.
Jeff: ONE BY ONE! GWAHAHAHA!
RVD: EEEEEEEEEK! (Runs off into the distance)
Matt: Jeff! Look what you did!
Jeff: Jeff sorry.
Matt: Sorry don't cut it! You're in Time out young man!
Rock: Is it The Rock or is this all a little bizzare?
Matt: When you live with Jeff for most of your life you get used to weird stuff.
Rock: Where's RVD got to?
Matt: He'll be out there somewhere.


RVD: Okay. I'm away from Jeff. I'm alone and lost, but I'm away from Jeff.
(He turns a corner and sees bright lights and lots of people.)
RVD: What's this? Where am I?
Bloke nearby: Why this is the Crayfish Memorial arena. WWF Smackdown's here tonight!
RVD: Crayfish memorial?
Bloke: Save the crayfish! Poor little critters....they get trapped in the fishing nets you see. And do you ever see a crayfish representive in parliament? They'd have to get water-proof seats of course...
RVD: Yes...you're a little mad arn't you?
Bloke: My great aunt was a crayfish. Happily swim in her tank all day, she would. We put it on the mantlepiece once, she used to love-
RVD: Okaaaay...wait a minute! Did you say Smackdown was here tonight?!?
Bloke: Yes, I love the WWF. Not many crayfish, though. Not since Andre the crayfish.
RVD: Giant.
Bloke: What?
RVD: It was Andre the giant.
Bloke: Are you suggesting the WWF employs giant crayfish? You belong in a looney home, son.
RVD: Never mind. Has the show started yet?
Bloke: No.
RVD: Thankyou! You've saved my life!
Bloke: (Holds out a collection tin) Save the crayfish?
RVD: (sighs and drops his ring in it)There.
Bloke: Thankyou sir! I can sell that and buy a new jacket!
RVD: You said it was for the crayfish!
Bloke: But I AM a crayfish.
RVD: Riiiiiiight. (He walks away and into the arena.)
Vince: Rob! Where on earth is everyone? I've got a show to run, dammit!
RVD: Well...
Vince: Don't tell me you're the only one who's made it back? Well listen to this then! You see this blond hair dye?
RVD: I see it....
Vince: Molly Holly has a match for the women's title tonight...if she's not back in time, you're putting your hair in pigtails, dying it blond and putting on that cute little superhero outfit!
RVD: YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS!
Vince: Oh I am...Mighty Molly will compete tonight, even if she dosen't turn up! Don't worry, I think you'll look good as a blond.
RVD: *groans* Why me? Don't you think anyone will notice that Molly's a tad more masculin than usual?
Vince: Nah...and if they do, it's your problem, not mine. You've got until the show starts. If she dosen't turn up by then...
RVD: Ulp...Not cool...

(Matt, Rock and Jeff are walking across a bridge over a dried out river in the nameless canadian city)

Matt: RVD's probobly fine. The guy can look out for himself.
Rock: Your right. It's not like he would turn up at the arena and Vince will make him dress up and pretend to be everyone who's missing....is it?
Matt: Nah...Vinnie wouldn't do that to us.
Jeff: Giggle....Matt can you fly?
Matt: No Jeff I can't fly, and neither can you, remember?
Jeff: I bet I could if I jumped off something high enough!
Matt: Jeff, we've had this conversation before, remember? And you got mad and said I could fly I was just lying?
Jeff: No! I didn't!
Matt: And then you said you could prove it and you pushed me off a cliff?
Jeff: Liar! (Pushes Matt off the bridge)
Matt: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Jeff: Woopsy daisy. One by one!
Rock: YOU STUPID JABRONI! IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG, KILLING US ALL OFF!
Jeff: What was that?
Rock: Uh, nothing, heh heh, good Jeff, nice Jeff, please don't kill the Rock, Jeff.
Jeff: Kill? I didn't kill Matt. You're still alive, arn't you Matt?
Matt (From Below): Yeah....but I'm gonna get you for this, Jeff.
Jeff: He's joking. We do this all the time. He loves it, don't you Matt.
Matt: No Jeff for the last time I do not enjoy you pushing me off tall buildings, bridges and cliffs on a regular basis. And you only managed to break one of my legs this time, Jeff. You're losing it.
Jeff: *Shrugs* Everyone has their off days. Come on, Rock, let's find that- Hey! Where'd he go?

Kurt: (Singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells-
Jazz: Kurt, it's not christmas.
Kurt: Then why is santa here?
Jazz: You're seeing things. It's not christmas.
Kurt: Jingle bells, Triple H smells-
Jazz: KURT!
Kurt: -Val Venis is a slut-
Jazz: KURT! Shut up! Now, where did you last see The Rock?
Kurt: Jennifer I think you're just using me to find The Rock.
Jazz: Kurt! How could you say such a thing?
Kurt: I think you want find him so you can kill him!
Jazz: Huh?
Kurt: Can I help? I don't like The Rock! He's mean!
Jazz: If I say yes will you concerntrate on finding him?
Kurt: Yup yup!
Jazz: Okay, I am going to kill The Rock. Will you help me, Kurt?
Kurt: Oh yes I surely will!
Jazz: SO WHERE IS HE THEN?!?
Kurt: Why don't we ask santa?
Jazz: Kurt why don't we ask someone real instead?
Kurt: He is real. Look!
Jazz: Kurt, there is no-one there....wait a minute yes there is! Someone running towards us, looking scared.......IT'S THE ROCK!!
Kurt: No it's santa.
Jazz: Shut up you moron I have no further use for you. ROCK! OVER HERE!
Rock: Hello Kurt....who's this, your boyfriend?
Kurt: She's an angel.
Rock: In your world, perhaps. In The Rock's she's a man-beast.
Jazz: Oh Rocky I'm a damsel in distess and lost in the big horrible city won't you sweep me up in your manly arms and take me away from this place?
Rock: WOAH! It can talk! And The Rock don't like what he hears.
Kurt: Santa where's my presents?
Rock: Kurt where have you been since I last saw you 'cos wherever it was it seriously screwed witgh your head....uh.....man-beast....get off me....
Jazz: Don't pretend you don't feel it too!
Rock: You mean revulsion?
Kurt: Santa! Stop stealing my angel!
Rock: No sweat it's all yours.
Jazz: Don't pretend you're not attracted to me.
Rock: Sorry but The Rock's not that way inclined....now If you'll excuse The Rock....he has to run away very fast...
Jazz: What! After all the time I spent tracking you down!
Kurt: It's true....Jennifer wanted to track you down so she could kill you!
Jazz: KURT!!
Rock: EEEEEEK! Everyone's trying to kill The Rock! AAAAHHH! (Run's off into the distance)
Jazz: Rocky, sweetheart! Wait for me! (Runs after him)
(Kurt gets out a little stone from his jacket and speaks to it)
Kurt: You know Mr. Bunny they'll probobly be a long time. She was very determined to kill him. Why do you look so sad? We may have lost our Angel but the pixies will guide us outta here! Helllllloooo pixies! (Kurt runs around manicly talking to imaginary pixies)
Kurt: Hello momma pixie....can you tell me the way to go? No...okay...I'll ask poppa pixie....
(Kurt runs off into the distance)


Matt: Rock? Where are you? Dammit, don't leave me alone with this maniac!
Jeff: HEHE....one by one....slicy dicey....
Matt: Oh man...I am sooooo doomed....
Jeff: Don't worry Matt, I'll go call an ambulance..oh, it's RVD! Hi!
RVD: Hey. Where is everyone?
Jeff: Dunno.
Matt: Jeff, you have the memory of a goldfish.
RVD: Or a crayfish?
Matt: What?
RVD: Never mind. Matt, is that you down there?
Matt:.......
RVD: Uh, Matt?
Jeff: You must be hearing things.
RVD: Are you sure he didn't just pass out with pain or anything?
Jeff: Who are we talking about again?
RVD: Well I suppose you'll have to do. I've found the arena, it's just round this corner.
Jeff: Cool.
RVD: Yeah, Kewel.
Jeff: How come you've stopped saying cool or kewel so much?
RVD: What's the point if The Rock isn't around to annoy with it? Anyway, Vince sent me out to find everyone I could. Are you sure Molly isn't here?
Jeff: Who's Molly again?
RVD: Oh man, I am sooooo dead.
Jeff: Why?
RVD: If I don't find her Vince is gonna make me pretend to be her in her match tonight.
Jeff: He won't make me dress up as someone if I go back, will he?
RVD: Nah....


Vince: Okay Jeff, just put this swimming cap on, and tie some pillows to your chest and arms, and you'll easily pass as The Rock!
Jeff: Jeff don't wanna play this game no more!
Vince: Jeff don't have a choice! Now stay still while I dye your skin with tea bags!
Jeff: WAAAAAAAAA!

(10 minutes later and Jeff and RVD are looking thoroughly stupid, dressed up as Mighy Molly and The Rock.)
RVD: Hold it a second, Jeff. (Draws some hair on top of his swimming cap in brown felt tip)
Jeff: One of your sock's is falling out of your top. Here, I'll push it back in.
RVD: Well don't I feel stupid....
Vince: You look lovley. Now you've gotta cut a promo together in the ring- I'm gonna talk to you through your earpieces so just repeat what I say- NOW GET OUT THERE! (Vince pushes them out onto the ramp)

King: Here comes Mighty Molly! Woohoo! Puppies! Wait a minute...Cole, where are her puppies?
Cole: Well I must say it looks like Mighty Molly's been piling on the pounds....
King: What are you saying? She looks lovley! Woohoo! I hope she's coming over here!
Cole: You really are desperate, arn't you? The Rock looks kinda strange, too...what's with his hair?
King: I should have known you'd be more intrested in The Rock than Mighty Molly!
Cole: Shut up. I think they're heading for the ring.....

RVD: You stink of tea.
Jeff: Your costume's ripping at the sides.
Vince: (over earpieces) Cut it out, you two! Now, just repeat what I say....
Jeff: (listening hard) Molly...I really...like y-you!
RVD: Rock...I like you...too...wait a minute what kind of promo IS this!?!
Vince: Shut up and do your job!
RVD: I don't know about you but this was never on MY contract.
Jeff: Mine neither.
Vince: Okay, guys, now you have to kiss!
RVD: WHAT!?!
Jeff: EWWW! NO WAY!
Vince: DO IT!!!
RVD: I would like to make it clear that I don't wanna do this.
Jeff: And I would like to say that I have no feelings for you whatsoever.
RVD: Then it dosen't mean anything if we do this.
Jeff: Right.
RVD: Right.
(No I'm not gonna let this happen. I don't write slash. So just before the kiss.......)
Rock: STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! (Runs down the ramp looking scared and hides under the ring)
King: I'm seeing double! Two Rocks!
Cole: What on earth is going on?
(Jazz runs down to the ring)
Jazz: Rock! Rocky darling, where are you? (She/he sees Jeff in the Ring)
Jazz: Oh, Rocky, It's you! (Runs up and snogs Jeff)
RVD: Uh....don't mind me....I'll just go....
(The Rock emerges from under the ring screaming)
Rock: EEEEEK! Something's under there!
(Kurt scrambles out from under the ring)
Kurt: Santa! You disturbed my tea party with the faeries! Ohhh! Flying milk bottles! Hehehehe! (Kurt runs around trying to catch imaginary flying milk bottles)
King: Cole, what's happening? It's all gone wrong!
Vince: No no no no no! (Bangs his head on the table several times)
Matt(limps in): JEFF! I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!
Vince: END THE TRANSMISSION DAMMIT!
Jeff: One by one...hehehe...

END


I finished it, wooooo! Now I have to think of something else to write.
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!