A/N: The Gretchi was added before FBAWTFT and I'm lazy. Sue me, I've no money, I'm an easy target. :-)

"How can you face the lies you told?
You're too ashamed of mistakes of old."
(The Midnighters -- "Midnight Reads The Clock")


Remus's Return



Rustlings could be heard in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Small shrieks from a Gretchi could be heard, and the muffled whispers of certain students.

Remus Lupin grinned to himself. Opening the door lightly, he called: "Why, hello, Fred, George, perhaps Lee?"

"Uh-oh," said a voice that belonged to none of the aforementioned.

"Shh!" ordered Fred, then, brightly: "Why, good evening, Professor Lupin!"

Remus entered the classroom and carefully set the wireless on a desk. Ignoring the curious glances of the Weasley twins at the object, he smiled. "Good evening to you as well. I'm terribly sorry I interrupted you in the process of putting that poor Gretchi back in its bed."

Fred and George exchanged glances. "Right," Fred agreed. "But that's quite all right. We'll just get right to it."

"And George, whilst your brother is doing that, could you kindly tell me who else is in the room, hiding?"

George looked disappointed but lied valiantly: "Just me and Fred."

"George, I heard someone else. Please, now."

"That was us," George replied. "We disguised our voices."

"Ahem."

"Sorry. Okay, Dave…"

David Stebbins, a second-year Hufflepuff, emerged from behind Remus's desk, sheepish-faced. "Hullo," he said brightly.

"Good evening, David. How have you been doing since I saw you this morning, tugging at Maria Deskner's braids?"

"You got caught, Dave!" Fred chastised in stern horror.

David shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I'm doing quite all right, sir."

"You got us caught!" George hissed at him angrily.

"Fine. Simply splendid." Remus sighed inwardly and tried to hide his grin. He wasn't sure if the Weasleys and Dave Stebbins knew that he absolutely hated punishing them for any pranks. Perhaps hated wasn't quite the right word… but certainly he felt almost guilty doing so. He had a record a mile long as well and quite understood the mind of a trickster. "Any reason I got blessed with the pleasure of your company tonight?"

The Gretchi shrieked.

"Oh - oh, er, yeah!" George cried quickly.

"Terribly confused about yesterday's lesson, sir -" Fred began.

"Interesting. I don't remember you having any lessons with me yesterday."

"Oh, right, well, you know, we wanted a word about -" Fred groped around for a subject. "Er, George had a question on…"

Remus, carefully controlling a neutral expression, played along and turned his gaze to George.

"Er… er… Kapykoae! Yeah, that's right. Kapykoae."

Remus nodded innocently. "Oh. I see. A subject we discussed in September, I believe. And what was the question?"

George tried to me his gaze squarely, but he was holding in so much laughter that his face was turning pink and he wasn't breathing properly. "No, that wasn't it…"

"Oh, I'm sorry; must have been my mistake. Continue, Mr. Weasley."

"Dark Illnesses!" George tried eagerly. Seeing that the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher wasn't buying it, he hesitated. "Healing properties? Sources and Shapes? Vampires?"

Remus caught his breath and braced himself.

"Werewolves? Gems from the Dark Mine in Albania? Er… cursed carrots?"

That was enough. Fred and David's smirks blew into full-blown laughter and Remus himself had to chuckle.

"Cursed carrots. Interesting; I've never heard anything about them."

"Well… aside from that, sir…" George smiled charmingly. "You can tell I was paying attention in class, Professor."

"George, first off, I could see quite well you were paying attention in class. You were paying a great deal of attention to Roberta Henweyth of Ravenclaw, I believe. Secondly, that lovely jaunty expression might be better used for Miss Henweyth or at least female members of the staff who find you in their classrooms after-hours releasing the object of the third-years' lessons, particularly when it's a helpless Gretchi."

David scowled and held out his scratched hands. "With all due respect, sir, that's not a helpless Gretchi. It's a Dark Creature with claws that hurt."

Remus reached for his wand and kept his expression blank. So am I, David. No. Remus Lupin, don't you dare start any self-pity, it doesn't help a thing.

But he couldn't help but wonder what these three students would say if they ever knew. Remus actually had a great deal of respect for the opinions of his students; indeed, he placed far more importance in what children thought that adults. Adults were molded; children weren't. Children were understandable; adults were not. It was the difference between Draco Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy; it was the difference between Blaise Zabini and Kathleen Douglas. And, for some reason, he hated to think of the contrast between Fred and George Weasley know, joking and playing right along with a script that was well-rehearsed between young troublemakers and a sage troublemaker trying to play impartial professor, and Fred and George Weasley recoiling from a werewolf.

Actually, Fred and George and David might think that downright "cool". But David's statement wasn't encouraging.

"It would serve you right if I suddenly couldn't find the ability to clean these, you know," he pointed out as he magicked David's hand free of blood and infection and them performed a numbing charm. "Is Carnum safe now?"

"Carnum?" repeated Fred with a raised eyebrow and an incredulous glance with his twin.

"Your younger sister named her."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh! In that case…" he said sarcastically, "yes, Carykins is fine."

Remus cast an eye over Carnum (actually, he had a suspicion that he would be unable to think of the Gretchi as anything but "Carykins" from this point forth), decided she was safely locked up and not distressingly disturbed, and nodded. "May I ask what you were planning to do with her after you succeeded in smuggling her to the Gryffindor common room?"

"No!" George protested. "We're in enough trouble already and aren't that stupid!"

"George, you know the routine by now," Remus shook his head. "I just publicly humiliated you and David got his hands injured. I make you do some meaningless vow not to do it again, will put you on the spot in class at least once, and after about three weeks you'll try something different."

"Hey!" cried George. "So how come Fred gets off easy?"

"Because, Fred's hormones haven't kicked in yet."

Fred smirked. "McG - Professor McGonagall said that you're only encouraging us."

Remus threw his hands into the air. "Me? Encouraging you? Wherever on earth she got that idea I don't pretend to know." He pulled a stack of Ravenclaw sixth-year papers that he had to check from his desk and grinned at the boys. "With that aside, what were you planning to do before I so rudely interrupted?"

David's eyes widened innocently. "Why, nothing."

"Shut up," George whispered to him. "He's okay; he doesn't tell on us."

"Well, you see, we heard that Peeves had very cruelly waken our Seeker and Keeper up too early in the match against Hufflepuff," Fred explained, wincing as he recall Gryffindor's defeat. "We wanted to see how a Gretchi would effect him."

George winked. "You see, Professor, it was an experiment in the name of learning."

"I'm sure. I can tell you right now that the idea of setting a Gretchi on Peeves has been tried numerous times before and with no great success." That's no lie. All that happened was that Zambia caught us at it. "Did you ever try getting oh, say, pixies on the Bloody Baron and then leading him to believe Peeves did it?"

The twins exchanged evil grins. "No," they said in unison.

"I'm not supplying the pixies and you never heard that from me," Remus warned them.

"No problem," Fred informed him airily.

David eyed the radio with interest. "Isn't that Professor Vector's?"

Remus had to shoot him a small glare. "Yes it is, and it's really none of your business, I'm afraid. Especially when your most recent essay was remarkably like Ginny and Marsha's."

"Okay," David said hastily.

"I think we'll be leaving you in peace for now," George nodded to Remus. "Thanks."

"Thanks? For what? I've just given you the scolding of your life, remember."

"Oh, right," Fred nodded, turning the knob of the classroom door. "Good night, sir."

"Good night to you as well." Remus paused for a moment in a battle with his conscience. "Oh… Fred? George? David?" he called after them when they were nearly out the door. "You know where Gretchi seem to thrive? Dark, cool, damp dungeons."

The response was muffled laughter. "Got it!" George called back as they left.

Remus was still smiling as he started the tiresome task of going through papers on the Unforgivables. Not only was the thought that Snape might soon find a brilliant mess of potions ingredients very soon extremely uplifting, it was just the general mood. He liked the Weasley twins and only wished he would ever get to talk with them not as teacher and students but as pranksters to pranksters.

To improve his frame of mind even further, he was able to quickly find one of his favourite wireless stations. The radio was Marie Vector's; Remus had exchanged Givens in the World of Arthimancy with her for a week or so. He still didn't feel entirely comfortable lending out books of Bella's and Lily's and Sammy's, but Marie was one of the few people he did trust on that score. During the past half of a year they had formed a stable friendship.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Come in," Remus called, turning down the volume of Dehlsky's lone hit. Some people found it surprising, but simple and clean rock n' roll did just fine for him, thank you.

It was Susan Bones. Hesitantly she pulled her red-brown hair behind her shoulders. "Excuse me, sir. I don't mean to interrupt."

He smiled. "Absolutely not, Susan." He had gotten into several talks with the third-year Hufflepuff during the past few months; each time she was hesitant but by the end of each conversation she would be lively and witty, blue eyes sparkling. Remus couldn't help but think that Ted Sparrengin, with the best of intentions, might have been going about the raising of his step-niece incorrectly. Susan was insecure around adults and didn't fit in with her classmates; she wasn't exactly shy but seemed to fear she might say something wrong. "Not at all."

"It's… it's those Gretchi, sir. What you were saying about hibernation… could you go over that again?" She produced a textbook, opened to the right chapter, and intently took notes as Remus went over a recent lesson. He knew full well, however, that the erratic hibernation habits of Gretchi were not what had brought her here. But he humoured her.

"Oh, I see," Susan said at last. "That's what my friend Katy said when I asked, but I wasn't sure. Thanks."

"No problem. Does Katy not go to Hogwarts?" He knew of no Katys or Katherines anywhere near Susan's year.

"No… she goes to Refrudula." She paused for just a second before continuing nonchalantly, "I met her and my friend Jesse King when we formed a band together. We call ourselves the Obliviators."

A-ha. Now we're getting somewhere. "Really?" Remus said, for lack of a more imaginative response.

"Yeah… Jesse's a few years older'n us and Rachel Molesky and Jerome Dennis, though."

"So they're in it, too?"

"Yes. Jesse's sixteen."

"About to graduate?"

"Almost." She tilted her head as if a thought had come to her. "He wants to become an Auror, you know."

How much you want to bet he's looking for career guidance? "Interesting choice of career, I'd say. How long has he been thinking of it?"

"Oh," Susan said earnestly, "for several years now, for a long time." From the set of her face, Remus deducted that she was trying to figure out how to word what she needed to ask.

"I surely hope he'll be able to be accepted for training. The Ministry, sadly, has a rather negative view on Refrudians."

Susan let out a breath in relief. "They do, don't they? Do you - think there's anything Jesse can do to help prove himself?"

Remus considered it thoughtfully for a moment. "You know who you want to talk to? Mafalda Hopkirk. She went to Refrudula and ended up working for the Ministry of Magic. She usually answers her letters, too, or at least from what I heard. And meanwhile…" He spent several minutes in the process of explaining a few things to Susan and giving the names of some people Jesse might find helpful, as well as a few tips and such.

Susan nodded. "All right, then. Thank you very much; Jesse'll be so pleased."

"I wish him the best of luck. I'd like to hear of your progress."

Susan nodded again. "We'll be sure to keep you posted. I'll send him it all over Easter holiday." She grinned. "Although you teachers are driving us unmercifully. Isn't the idea to teach us and not kill us?"

"You overheard Diana Newman saying that." It was a statement, not a question.

Her smiled broadened. "Well, yes. I'm liable to be in my fifth year before I finish it."

"What'll you do with all that free time?" Remus retorted.

"Haven't the faintest clue. Hopefully I'll finish over Easter. Although I guess I don't have it as bad as some. I'm taking one less class than all my roommates… and did you see Hermione Granger lately? I'm not sassing her or anything, but she looks terrible! And how she manages to make both Muggle Studies and Divination is beyond me, frankly."

Remus knew the answer to that was in the lending of a Time-Turner to Hermione. He seriously wondered when she'd break down. Yoland Flitwick had already reported that she had fallen asleep in Charms once already, and she was constantly handing in the wrong homework for the right subjects. She looked as worn out as Remus knew he often did. He couldn't help admiring her stubbornness, however. No doubt she was a Gryffindor. We have a talent for being stupidly blind at times.

"Miss Granger is managing nicely. I have a feeling she'll drop a class sooner or later. As for the homework load, I'm going to remain completely mum on the subject."

Susan rolled her eyes. "Fine, then. Personally, as long as I don't have to write poetry this year, I'll manage." Poetry? Why does that sound very Gilderoy Lockhart-ish? "I'm going to stay here, though, for Easter… Ted, my uncle, he's visiting Canada for a few weeks. Are you going anywhere?"

Remus shook his head. "No," he said solemnly, "I've been so cruel in assigning homework, and now I'm getting my just deserts. I'm buried in a pile of essays to be checked." And where exactly would I go? It'd be nice, of course, to visit Diane and Eddie and Donny and Mark and the rest, but somehow… it would be too much, and too expensive right now.

"Serves you right," Susan grinned. "I guess I'll go and get started on some Potions work now. Have a good evening, Professor Lupin."

"The same to you, Susan," he nodded. He turned the volume up again after she left. Despite the customary sadness after remembering the Devon crew, he was still happily content. In fact, he was happier than he had been in years.

Just a year ago I was ready to abandon this world, he recalled. He had been betrayed too many times; his slow fuse had reached its end. He wanted nothing to do with the wizarding world. He wasn't going to trust anyone short of…

Albus Dumbledore.

And it had been Dumbledore who had given him one more shot at a chance for contentment, if nothing more. And here he was. He was doing something that actually served a purpose, something he actually enjoyed; he was interacting and enjoying the interaction, he was well fed, he felt almost comfortable in his surroundings. Hogwarts is home. Adrenaline was running smoothly at this moment; he had pushed Sirius out of his thoughts for the first time that day.

And into this picture broke in Dumbledore himself.

It was his knocks that interrupted a Richard Henley song, although Remus didn't know it at that moment. Turning the radio off again and resigning himself to the fact that he was not fated to be uninterrupted that night he offered a do-come-in to the latest visitor, Dumbledore.

The first thing Remus felt was an instant alertness; most likely Dumbledore wouldn't be hunting him down unless something had happened, and he was living in worry of the worst sort of somethings happening. But when he saw Dumbledore was not in a brisk hurry an almost worse thought occurred.

He knows. He found all about the Animagi project, and now he's going to want to know why I didn't tell him before. He worked hard to appear casual while secretly feeling very guilty.

But Dumbledore did not appear distressed and they exchanged greetings that did not speak of trouble. Remus soon found the point of the visit.

"No, thank you," Dumbledore said. "I truthfully simply wanted to inquire if you were going anywhere for Easter holiday."

"Well, no, sir, not really," he said in slight surprise. He wants me to track down a lead on Sirius.

Dumbledore raised an inquiring light blue eye. "No? You did not leave for Christmas, either."

Why leave? There was a full moon and nowhere to go. "No, I didn't." He paused, sensing he was supposed to say more but having little idea what. Yes, several members of the staff did leave Hogwarts for holidays. Most always stayed, reasons being that some had to stay to keep order and many had relatives and family living in Hogsmeade anyway. But he wasn't sure why he was expected to leave.

Dumbledore tapped a finger lightly, in nonchalant thought. "Not that you're not entitled to, of course. I needed to take a quick head count in any case. I was just thinking, however, that you might want to take a short break."

Remus blinked. "No, sir. I…no. I'm quite fine here."

"But are you? You're not looking well, Remus."

Remus had to smile wryly. "That's not really anything new, sir." Such was the toll transformations took on him that he often looked in need of a several nights' good sleep. The stress of worrying about what Sirius might do, and the continuing guilt of what he was hiding from Dumbledore didn't help matters much of late.

"No, but I imagined Severus's potion might be helping matters somewhat."

"Oh, no, it is," Remus replied hurriedly, not wanting to appear in the least bit ungrateful. Only… "It helps a great deal. It's just," he added carefully, aware that he was very much at unease with Dumbledore at late, "the new broadening experiences, I expect." Deceitful. That's precisely what you've been getting. Why don't you just tell him, you coward?

And, as an afterthought, that was a snicker-able "catch" you tagged on.

Dumbledore was considering him carefully. Remus secretly wondered if Dumbledore had some amazing ability of seeing through minds, and it was not the first time he had entertained these thoughts. "That's almost exactly it. I'm afraid you're overworking yourself. Goodness knows that I wanted you here because you are not Griff Rethfy, but I certainly don't want you to push yourself too far. You've a rather bad habit of expecting too much from yourself."

A corner of a floor fascinated Remus for a moment as his face heated slightly.

"But I digress. I didn't come here to lecture. But surely a young wizard of thirty-three has some sort of social life beyond Hogwarts?" Dumbledore asked gently, with a kind smile.

"Not any that can't get by with a few cards over Easter," Remus replied. "No, sir, I can be more useful here."

A mild expression of part amusement, part almost annoyance crossed Dumbledore's face. "Then think of it this way," he suggested jokingly, "I'm kicking you out for a week."

Remus had to crack a small smile, although it was somewhat strained. "There's a new one."

"Hopefully effective nonetheless. As of Monday I don't want to see you anywhere on the grounds for a week, Professor Lupin. Good day."

Marie Vector entered very shortly after Dumbledore left. "Did he give you the I'm-throwing-you-out deal, too?" she asked immediately. Their friendship had developed such that they didn't have to bother with greetings and formalities any longer. Remus had been resisting the hand of friendship for years, but Marie was a rare exception.

"Yes," he responded. "Never thought I'd see the day." I wonder what Gerry Carlin would have said if he'd hear that… I wonder if he's even alive?

"Oh, I saw the day coming," Marie said cautiously, thoughtfully running a hand through her brown-blonde hair. "He's been throwing strong hints at me for several years now that he thought that such a young person as myself should be out and about more." Marie was even younger than Remus was. She playfully imitated Dumbledore's expression and did a decent job of it - "Excellent, then. From Monday to Sunday I don't want to see your pretty face darkening these walls or I will personally take points from Ravenclaw, Professor Vector. I'll see you shortly, good evening, Marie.' " She grinned. "And if it had been anyone else I'd've slapped him."

"So what're you planning to do?" Remus inquired.

She knocked a quill out of his hand before answering. "You know, he might be right about you. Stop it. There'll be plenty of time later. Myself, I'm still debating on dealing with these awful cousins I have, spending a week with some old Muggle friends and getting in trouble with the law, or simply clearing out to France for a few days. Yourself?"

Remus hadn't much time to think of it. "Well, it's between some dreadful distant cousins, spending a week with some old Muggle friends and having lots of explaining to do and almost certainly getting in trouble with the law, or clearing out to goodness-knows-where for a few days."

Marie beamed. "Glad I could provide a blueprint. I'm leaning toward the last one. Only not France. I'll save it for summer, when I can make a good long stay. I'll go to London instead and count how many people I met up with that I've forgotten all about."

"There's an idea," Remus replied, somewhat vaguely.

"Ah," she surmised, "you're thinking, aren't you?"

Remus snapped to attention. "Sorry. How'd you tell?"

"I smelled wood burning. Hopefully you're thinking of how you'll spend your exile."

"I'll refuse to answer a single question on Emotional Curses, I can tell you that much."

Dumbledore suddenly appeared at the door. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "but I believe I misplaced some sheets of parchment. Are they in here?"

"They're in my room, Albus," Marie informed him.

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you very much, Marie." He turned to leave, and then turned back around to face his former students casually. "You know, Marie, if I were you I'd take this as a perfect opportunity to visit your father's place. Remus, I strongly suggest you take at least a day to go to Serendipity. You and Bella haven't visited it in roughly a decade."

What he means, although he won't say, is that Sirius might have, anyway.

Remus stared off for a moment, feeling heavy once again. Serendipity was the very emblem of what he had been trying to force from his mind, old memories and old wounds. Let me get this straight. First he doesn't want me talking too openly about the old days with Harry. Then he expects me to teach him. And then he expects me to do so after visiting Serendipity.
I suppose I should be able to, though. What kind of Gryffindor am I?

Marie sighed. "I hate to say it, but - no, I won't. Circe. That was about the last thing I wanted to do."

Remus nodded sympathetically. "I'd think so."

Marie stared off for a minute, and then turned to him. "What's Serendipity?"

Remus sighed. "Serendipity is a place." He offered little more. Marie Vector was not one of the select few who might understand.

Linda and Lily and James and Peter would expect me to.

*

Marie and Remus had to obey orders, and made sure Hogwarts was free of their presence by next morning - well, not entirely, since Marie's owl was still terrorizing the place and the Weasleys managed to set off a few choice things in the dungeons, but while this was happening Marie was in Cryth and Remus was in Godric's Hollow, so no blame could be traced back to them by anyone except a vindictive Snape, and that's another story altogether.

Remus was not prone to holding grudges with anyone unless their initials were Severus Snape, but he was rather upset, if not downright annoyed, that Dumbledore had awoken his conscience by his suggestion. One of the last things Lily had ever said to him was: "I know this sounds downright silly, but you'll take care of Serendipity if anything - well, if anything happens. If James and I die. I want it to remain and I don't want anyone else living there and I want Harry to see it someday with you and Lin and Peter and Siri and Bella to re-spin all those old tales."

Remus had never intended to not keep her promise… but around mid-November of that year he had left Godric's Hollow, the primary reason being it was too full of memories and the secondary being that his "condition" had been mentioned in the Daily Prophet. Most forgot all about it and never took much notice to begin with, but Godric's Hollow didn't. In a wrath they hounded him and ordered him out in an emotionally and physically painful eviction. Remus almost didn't care. He couldn't stand it too much longer anyway, and getting away from the Hollow was exactly what he needed. Any change of pace and scenery so his mind was on anything but grief and guilt. He kept telling himself that he'd check on Serendipity "soon"… "in a couple weeks"… "perhaps after the next full moon, when I can't do much else anyway…" but excuse after excuse left Serendipity deserted.

Perhaps this was why he felt a little foolish as he unlocked the front door and no spirits of the Godric Hollow Gang of twelve years ago came to meet him. Just what were you so afraid of?

Just what were you so afraid of? It seemed to be an age-old question in his life.

*

Chapter 2, Part 2... the flashback that didn't fit on this file.