Showing Your Emotions
Chapter 2: A change for the better
After Professor Snape left, Draco remained on his bed until it was time for dinner. He slowly made his way down to the great hall and slumped into his seat at the Slytherin table. He was tired, frustrated and confused. He wasn't paying attention to anything or anyone around him and, after a while, everyone finally got the hint and didn't bother him. Around halfway through the meal he stood abruptly and walked out of the room, leaving the whole table looking after him in surprise. Not really sure what to do, he just started walking and hoped that he wouldn't end up somewhere that he didn't belong. His mind was racing and he couldn't seem to form a single coherent thought. He was so confused and wasn't sure what to do about it. He looked up, startled, when the door to his right was flung open and Professor Snape beckoned him inside. Draco hadn't even realized that he was any where near Snape's office. The potion's teacher motioned him inside again and he slowly complied. He sat down in the big armchair by the fire and drew his knees up to his chest. Snape sat down in the chair across from Draco and just looked at him. When he didn't respond, Snape cleared his throat and spoke.
"I saw you leave the hall and thought you might need somebody to talk to," he said quietly.
Draco looked at him for a moment, then at his hands, which were gripping his legs tightly, and then back at Snape again.
"Professor," he began. "I…I just don't know what to do."
"Do about what?" asked Snape kindly.
"Everything," said Draco bitterly. "My life has been screwed up for so long, professor, and I don't know how to fix it or if it can even be fixed. I mean, what's the point of my existence if there's nothing for me to live for."
Snape regarded him for a minute before responding.
"Everyone exists for a reason, Draco. You just need to find your reason. It's out there somewhere. You just have to keep your eyes open."
"I know that sir, but I've been looking for so long and then when I did find a reason, I wasn't good enough. It's just so frustrating."
Draco fell silent and dropped his gaze to the floor. His eyes wandered around the room and rested on a small cabinet in the corner. On top of that cabinet, shining brightly in the firelight, was an emerald green stone. 'It's the same color as Harry's eyes' he thought. He jerked his eyes away from it and forced himself to look at the fire. He couldn't think about Harry now. It was too painful, knowing that you were in love with someone who you couldn't have.
Snape looked over at the cabinet and smiled slightly.
"It's a beautiful stone, isn't it?" he asked softly.
Draco flinched slightly but responded with a rather quiet "yes sir." Snape didn't miss Malfoy's flinch and decided to ask him about it.
"What were you thinking about just now?" he asked curiously.
"Nothing…the stone just reminded me of something, that's all."
Snape wasn't fooled. "What did it remind you of?" Draco didn't answer. "What did it remind you of?" he asked again.
Draco sighted in defeat. "His eyes," he said very quietly.
Understanding flashed in Snape's eyes and he stayed silent for a few minutes.
"You should really tell him. He ought to know."
"I know," said Draco in a frustrated voice. "But I don't know how and I don't want to make a fool of myself."
"Just tell him what you feel. Ask him to listen."
"But what if he says no, then what?"
"Then he's dumber than I gave him credit for. Just let him know. You'll feel better afterwards."
"I think about it," said Draco cautiously. "I better go. I have homework to do."
Snape nodded help the door open for him.
"Thanks professor," Malfoy said as he left the office and headed down the hall toward the Slytherin common room. Once inside, he gathered his books up and settled onto his bed to do his homework. He finished his potions homework and was just starting his essay for his history of magic class when a little voice in the back of his head started to speak up. He tried to ignore it but after an hour, he gave up. 'I need to talk to him' he thought bleakly. 'The worst he could do is say no.' So, after putting his books away, he got up and went in search of Harry. He decided to start in the great hall, since that was a likely place to find almost anyone. When he entered the hall, his eyes scanned the Gryffindor section and rested on none other than Harry Potter, who was sitting alone reading a book. He slowly made his way toward Harry and stopped a few feet behind him. Clearing his throat, he waited for the other boy to turn around. Seconds later, Malfoy found himself unable to speak as he stared into Harry's bright green eyes. The other boy blinked in surprise and then smiled brightly at Malfoy.
"Did you want something, Draco?" he asked in a friendly manner.
"Could…could I talk to you?" the blonde asked uncertainly.
"Sure. Do you want to sit down or would you rather go somewhere more private?" he asked.
"Um…somewhere more private," replied Draco, who didn't want anyone to see what he was about to do. He stood and motioned for Harry to follow him. Turning, he made his way up the stairs, through several corridors and up one final flight of stairs. They were now standing in Draco's recently vacated sanctuary, the east tower. He made his way to the window and looked out over the grounds of the school before looking uncertainly at Harry, who smiled encouragingly at him.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked curiously. Draco took a deep breath and decided to just come out and tell him.
"Professor Snape said I should be honest with you and tell you something that's been bothering me for awhile."
"You don't have to be nervous about talking to me. I know we've never been the best of friends but I'd like to change that," said Harry truthfully. Draco sighed.
"I like you Harry," he said with a little bit of difficulty. Harry smiled slightly.
"I like you too, Draco. And I hope we can become better friends…"he began, but Draco cut him off.
"No Harry. Not like as friends. I mean like as more than a friend. I…I'm in love with you," he said very softly.
For a minute, Harry just stood there staring and then a terrible thought occurred to Draco. What if Harry wasn't gay. 'Oh my God, he probably hates me.' He turned away from Harry and began to walk toward the stairs.
"I'm sorry…I just…I'm sorry," he said again as he started down the stairs.
"Wait," cried Harry. Draco turned and looked at the other boy, who was now smiling shyly. "Don't go," he said softly. "Please."
The blonde nodded and stepped back into the room. Harry sat down on the floor and motioned for him to do the same. Slowly Draco made his way over to the other boy and sat down on the floor next to him.
"I'm sorry," said Harry. "I didn't mean to react like that. It's just that…well…I've never had anybody tell me that they loved me. I just didn't know how to respond." He paused and looked at Malfoy.
"Then you don't hate me?" Draco asked quietly.
"No, I don't. I'm not quite sure how I feel about you. I mean, I like you and I want to get to know you better. And I'm definitely attracted to you, but I don't want to rush into anything. But I'm willing to give it a shot…if you are. What do you say?"
"I'd like that," said Draco with a small smile.
"I was hoping you would say that."
"Now what?" asked the blonde uncertainly.
Harry smiled and leaned forward slightly, bringing his face closer to Draco's. Then, without warning, he kissed the unprepared boy. Draco wasted no time in responding and the two only broke apart when they ran out of oxygen. Draco looked at Harry with a stunned expression.
"Wow," he said lamely.
"I've wanted to do that for a while now," said Harry.
At that, Draco smiled, his first real smile in a long time. And as he sat there on the tower floor with Harry, he couldn't help but think that his life was getting better. It was far from being perfect, but he was well on his way to happiness.
A/N. Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoy it. As always, please review.
~YamatoLuv7~
Chapter 2: A change for the better
After Professor Snape left, Draco remained on his bed until it was time for dinner. He slowly made his way down to the great hall and slumped into his seat at the Slytherin table. He was tired, frustrated and confused. He wasn't paying attention to anything or anyone around him and, after a while, everyone finally got the hint and didn't bother him. Around halfway through the meal he stood abruptly and walked out of the room, leaving the whole table looking after him in surprise. Not really sure what to do, he just started walking and hoped that he wouldn't end up somewhere that he didn't belong. His mind was racing and he couldn't seem to form a single coherent thought. He was so confused and wasn't sure what to do about it. He looked up, startled, when the door to his right was flung open and Professor Snape beckoned him inside. Draco hadn't even realized that he was any where near Snape's office. The potion's teacher motioned him inside again and he slowly complied. He sat down in the big armchair by the fire and drew his knees up to his chest. Snape sat down in the chair across from Draco and just looked at him. When he didn't respond, Snape cleared his throat and spoke.
"I saw you leave the hall and thought you might need somebody to talk to," he said quietly.
Draco looked at him for a moment, then at his hands, which were gripping his legs tightly, and then back at Snape again.
"Professor," he began. "I…I just don't know what to do."
"Do about what?" asked Snape kindly.
"Everything," said Draco bitterly. "My life has been screwed up for so long, professor, and I don't know how to fix it or if it can even be fixed. I mean, what's the point of my existence if there's nothing for me to live for."
Snape regarded him for a minute before responding.
"Everyone exists for a reason, Draco. You just need to find your reason. It's out there somewhere. You just have to keep your eyes open."
"I know that sir, but I've been looking for so long and then when I did find a reason, I wasn't good enough. It's just so frustrating."
Draco fell silent and dropped his gaze to the floor. His eyes wandered around the room and rested on a small cabinet in the corner. On top of that cabinet, shining brightly in the firelight, was an emerald green stone. 'It's the same color as Harry's eyes' he thought. He jerked his eyes away from it and forced himself to look at the fire. He couldn't think about Harry now. It was too painful, knowing that you were in love with someone who you couldn't have.
Snape looked over at the cabinet and smiled slightly.
"It's a beautiful stone, isn't it?" he asked softly.
Draco flinched slightly but responded with a rather quiet "yes sir." Snape didn't miss Malfoy's flinch and decided to ask him about it.
"What were you thinking about just now?" he asked curiously.
"Nothing…the stone just reminded me of something, that's all."
Snape wasn't fooled. "What did it remind you of?" Draco didn't answer. "What did it remind you of?" he asked again.
Draco sighted in defeat. "His eyes," he said very quietly.
Understanding flashed in Snape's eyes and he stayed silent for a few minutes.
"You should really tell him. He ought to know."
"I know," said Draco in a frustrated voice. "But I don't know how and I don't want to make a fool of myself."
"Just tell him what you feel. Ask him to listen."
"But what if he says no, then what?"
"Then he's dumber than I gave him credit for. Just let him know. You'll feel better afterwards."
"I think about it," said Draco cautiously. "I better go. I have homework to do."
Snape nodded help the door open for him.
"Thanks professor," Malfoy said as he left the office and headed down the hall toward the Slytherin common room. Once inside, he gathered his books up and settled onto his bed to do his homework. He finished his potions homework and was just starting his essay for his history of magic class when a little voice in the back of his head started to speak up. He tried to ignore it but after an hour, he gave up. 'I need to talk to him' he thought bleakly. 'The worst he could do is say no.' So, after putting his books away, he got up and went in search of Harry. He decided to start in the great hall, since that was a likely place to find almost anyone. When he entered the hall, his eyes scanned the Gryffindor section and rested on none other than Harry Potter, who was sitting alone reading a book. He slowly made his way toward Harry and stopped a few feet behind him. Clearing his throat, he waited for the other boy to turn around. Seconds later, Malfoy found himself unable to speak as he stared into Harry's bright green eyes. The other boy blinked in surprise and then smiled brightly at Malfoy.
"Did you want something, Draco?" he asked in a friendly manner.
"Could…could I talk to you?" the blonde asked uncertainly.
"Sure. Do you want to sit down or would you rather go somewhere more private?" he asked.
"Um…somewhere more private," replied Draco, who didn't want anyone to see what he was about to do. He stood and motioned for Harry to follow him. Turning, he made his way up the stairs, through several corridors and up one final flight of stairs. They were now standing in Draco's recently vacated sanctuary, the east tower. He made his way to the window and looked out over the grounds of the school before looking uncertainly at Harry, who smiled encouragingly at him.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked curiously. Draco took a deep breath and decided to just come out and tell him.
"Professor Snape said I should be honest with you and tell you something that's been bothering me for awhile."
"You don't have to be nervous about talking to me. I know we've never been the best of friends but I'd like to change that," said Harry truthfully. Draco sighed.
"I like you Harry," he said with a little bit of difficulty. Harry smiled slightly.
"I like you too, Draco. And I hope we can become better friends…"he began, but Draco cut him off.
"No Harry. Not like as friends. I mean like as more than a friend. I…I'm in love with you," he said very softly.
For a minute, Harry just stood there staring and then a terrible thought occurred to Draco. What if Harry wasn't gay. 'Oh my God, he probably hates me.' He turned away from Harry and began to walk toward the stairs.
"I'm sorry…I just…I'm sorry," he said again as he started down the stairs.
"Wait," cried Harry. Draco turned and looked at the other boy, who was now smiling shyly. "Don't go," he said softly. "Please."
The blonde nodded and stepped back into the room. Harry sat down on the floor and motioned for him to do the same. Slowly Draco made his way over to the other boy and sat down on the floor next to him.
"I'm sorry," said Harry. "I didn't mean to react like that. It's just that…well…I've never had anybody tell me that they loved me. I just didn't know how to respond." He paused and looked at Malfoy.
"Then you don't hate me?" Draco asked quietly.
"No, I don't. I'm not quite sure how I feel about you. I mean, I like you and I want to get to know you better. And I'm definitely attracted to you, but I don't want to rush into anything. But I'm willing to give it a shot…if you are. What do you say?"
"I'd like that," said Draco with a small smile.
"I was hoping you would say that."
"Now what?" asked the blonde uncertainly.
Harry smiled and leaned forward slightly, bringing his face closer to Draco's. Then, without warning, he kissed the unprepared boy. Draco wasted no time in responding and the two only broke apart when they ran out of oxygen. Draco looked at Harry with a stunned expression.
"Wow," he said lamely.
"I've wanted to do that for a while now," said Harry.
At that, Draco smiled, his first real smile in a long time. And as he sat there on the tower floor with Harry, he couldn't help but think that his life was getting better. It was far from being perfect, but he was well on his way to happiness.
A/N. Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoy it. As always, please review.
~YamatoLuv7~