XI
"You'll dance with a perfect stranger but you won't even talk to me?"
--Quistis Trepe, SeeD ball

The SeeD dress uniform could hardly be considered comfortable, as it was never intended for battle or casual living. Still, after living in Dyne's jacket, it was a considerable improvement.

Squall stared down at the ground below the balcony, thinking. Music echoed from the dance floor, disappearing in the hum of the ring underneath the Garden. He recognised the tune--"Eyes On Me," a song Julia Heartilly had written for (and about) Laguna.

Heartilly...

Julia had married General Caraway, and had a daughter. Rinoa. Squall had never really thought about it--he wondered if Laguna knew...?

The Garden Festival had occured early this year, due to the Garden Festival Committee Selphie had set up months ago. Four days from now was supposed to be the SeeD entrance exam, and after that, the graduation party. Squall had been informed much earlier that he would be expected to make a speech to the graduating SeeDs. He was not looking forward to it.

Instead, he was still trying to forget what he had done. Forget the blood on Rinoa's shoulder, the flash of horror in Nida's eyes... the feeling of trying to kill the people who had come to save him. Even though none of it had technically been his fault.

I only put the jacket on to save them. Now... now I'm just like Seifer. Except Seifer's our ally now... so it seems.
So, one starts against, then allies... the other starts allied, then turns against. Equal and opposite. Just like the scars.

Without thinking, Squall ran a hand over his scar. Staring out across the horizon, he wondered if Dyne was still there, watching him. Listening in on his thoughts.

The sounds of the festival drifted back over to him. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. How? How is it that, even with all this, they can relax? He watched as a flock of birds drifted underneath the Garden, silhouetted by the glow of the ring. Each of them fits in. Quistis, Zell, Irvine... everyone. Even Nida. But not me. I never have. The only thing that tied us all together was that we were all orphans... now I don't even have that. I know who my parents are. And one is still alive.

Someone moved up behind him, and he closed his eyes. Get away from me, he thought. Can't you see I want to be alone?

A hand touched his shoulder, and he almost jumped. Opening his eyes, he glanced around. Then, as he saw who it was, he turned back to the horizon. He couldn't stand the sight of that bandage on her shoulder.

"Want to dance?" Rinoa asked softly from behind him. "It might help you clear your mind."

I doubt that, Squall thought. He began to say something, then decided against it. "..."

Rinoa sighed, moving up beside him. "I remember a year ago, we came here together. We saw a shooting star. I made a wish on that star..." She paused. Turning towards, him, she clasped the two rings she wore on a chain around her neck. "Listen," she said, motioning with her free hand towards the ballroom. Half-closing her eyes, she began to sing along with the music.

" 'So let me come to you... close as I want to be... close enough for me... to feel your heart beating fast...' " She sighed. "My mother used to sing that song to me when I was little. I memorized the words. 'Darling, so share with me... your love if you have enough... your tears if you're holding back... your pain if that's what it is... how can I let you know...' "

"Rinoa," Squall started, then, unsure of what to say, stopped. What is this I'm feeling? He shook his head. Then it came to him: Dyne. He hated him. He didn't think he had ever hated anything before. Not even Seifer. Seifer had been his rival, opponent, enemy, even--but Squall had never hated him. Seifer just did what he was forced to do. But, Dyne... has no excuse. None!

I can't... handle this.

He could see Rinoa approaching him from the corner of his eye, and he stiffened up. "No one blames you," she said.

I know. Somehow, that just makes it worse.

"Am I interrupting anything?" asked a voice from behind them. Squall turned to look at Seifer, who was standing at the balcony's entrance. He had several stitches across his cheek. "I hope I'm not intruding. I never could resist a good bout of self-pity."

Self-pity? Is that what this is? Squall straightened up. "Sorry. I think I'm done now."

"Ah, well," Seifer said, making a face. "Mind coming back to the rest of the world now?"

"...whatever," Squall said. Never thought Seifer would be the one to snap me out of it, Squall thought. Of course, I never thought Seifer would be the one to rescue me, either. Seems he's gotten a lot more valuable all of a sudden.

Rinoa, smiling, latched onto him as well as she could with only one arm. "Come on," she said, dragging him towards the main room. Seifer fell into step beside him.

"I hate to say it, but I'm glad you're back. They put me in charge, you know that? Zell keeps giving me ugly looks, and I swear if I keep this up too much longer I'm going to wake up dead one day."

Zell killing Seifer in the night? That... would be a sight to see, Squall thought, surprising himself with a small smile. Seifer turned to give him an odd look.

"Uh-oh," he said. "Rinoa, you picked the wrong one."

"What?" Rinoa asked.

Seifer stepped in front of Squall, miming drawing his gunblade and pointing it at Squall. "He's smiling. Who are you, and what happened to Squall?"

Squall almost sighed. "He went off the deep end in Fisherman's Horizon," he said. "Yelled something at Raijin and hasn't apologised yet."

Seifer gave a salute, a Galbadian salute instead of a SeeD one. "I'll relay the message," he said, grinning, and moved off.

"EEYOW!"

Squall looked over to where the yelp had come from, and saw Irvine hopping up and down on one leg. Fujin stood in front of him, arms crossed. "NOW, NO DANCE," she said tartly. "LEAVE."

Irvine has finally done it, Squall thought. I knew he was going to get himself hurt one of these days.

"I know he does that with every girl," Rinoa said from his side. "But... Fujin? Isn't that like trying to kiss a Marlboro?"

"You would think so," Squall said, watching Irvine grab his leg in pain. I'm just surprised this hasn't happened sooner.

"Whoo, tough luck, ya know?" asked Raijin from behind Irvine, clapping a huge hand on his shoulder. "Fujin can be pretty scary sometimes, ya know?" he added in a quieter whisper.

"RAGE," Fujin snapped, her foot darting out and contacting Raijin's shin. The larger, burly man jumped, biting his lip. Squall couldn't help but wonder about the mismatched duo.

Mismatched trio, he reminded himself, thinking of Seifer. But Fujin is still the strangest of the bunch.

"So what are we going to do?" Rinoa asked. "Nida had a talk with Laguna, he said--" Rinoa paused to think. "I think he said something about how Esthar couldn't retaliate until the troops landed, due to their lack of ranged vessels from the period of silence or something. So it doesn't really matter when we get him back there, as long as its about seven hours before the troops are to land. That'll give him enough time. And tomorrow there is the annual Balamb Fair..." She trailed off hopefully.

Squall turned to stare at Rinoa. All this, and you want to go to a fair? A fair? I can honestly not believe this, even from you, he thought.

Rinoa playfully slapped him across the face. "Stop looking at me like that. As a matter of fact, Doctor Kadowaki has decided that if we can't get you to relax for at least a day, she's going to release sleeping gas into your room. And since Balamb is just nearby..."

"...but..."

"Ah! No 'but's! Those jackets were never ment to be taken off, you know, and we practically just ripped a plug out of your brain by doing it. You're probably a lot more tired than you'll admit, and even if you aren't, you still need rest."

"I have the feeling you've rehearsed this," Squall said, crossing his arms. Rinoa smiled.

"Seifer called it preparing my offensives."

Seifer's in this too? ...dear god, it's a conspiracy.

"Yes, he knows," Rinoa said. "And he agrees. He thinks you're too serious for your own good. Or was that Irvine who said that? And it might have been Quistis, too, you know..."

Squall's hand moved to his forehead. "Do I get a choice in this?" he asked, wondering if there was any possible way to persuade them to give it up.

"No," Rinoa said, confirming his suspicions. "Anyway, everyone else wants a break, too. The last few days have been really hard on everyone."

"...fine," Squall said.

Rinoa practically beamed. "Oh, and..." she hesitated.

"What?" Squall asked. Just hope she doesn't demand that I move into a beach house in Dollet or something.

"Could you maybe talk to Zell?" Rinoa asked. "He's been taking this entire thing with Seifer personally. Quistis is really worried about him, but she said that talking with people isn't really her strong suit."

And it is mine? "...I'll try."

"Thanks," Rinoa said. "He's on one of the balconeys. Over there, I think," she said, pointing. "I'll let you alone with him." Giving Squall what he took to be an encouraging smile, she turned and walked off. Her bandage practically glowed in the ballroom lights, making him wince. Turning, he moved over to Zell.

Zell was in full uniform, hunched over the railing in what looked like an imitation of Squall's classic brooding pose, except his feet were stuck out so far behind him that he looked like the railing had chosen to move about a meter forward without telling him. He was staring down at the ring with a silence and a sulleness that was entirely unlike him.

"Seifer getting to you?" Squall asked bluntly. Zell jumped, spinning around.

"Whoa! Don't sneak up on me like that," he said, eyes narrowing. "What did you say?"

"Seifer's getting to you," Squall observed. Zell snorted.

"That's just gotten three nominations for the 'Understatement Of The Year Awards,' " Zell said.

"What did he do this time?"

Zell paused. "I guess it isn't something he actually did, but..."

"...that he's here."

Zell nodded. Stretching out his hands into an almost pleading gesture, he stared at Squall. "Man, you of all people should get this. Why are you letting him back here? After all he's done?"

Squall crossed his arms, looking down at the floor to one side of him. "...because he saved my life, I guess."

"But this is Seifer we're talking about. We don't even know why he's really here. And no one else even gives a damn!"

The last part was spoken so harshly that it echoed across the balcony. Squall shook his head.

"If Seifer had a hidden agenda, I think we would have realized it by now. I think he's actually sorry for what he did."

"Him? Sorry? He can't be sorry. His egoate his conscience when he was about five."

What am I supposed to say? "...maybe he's changed."

Zell shook his head. "I dunno. Something about it just doesn't ring right with me. I can't put my finger on it..." he made a fist. "But if I see anything going on here, I'll sure as hell put my glove on it."

"Fair enough," Squall said. "Just don't overdo it."

"No jumping at shadows, you mean? Don't worry. I'm looking for hard proof, and I'll get it. You just sit back and watch."

Squall nodded. All right. And we'll all hope you don't find anything. Moving up to the railing, he glanced down. The ring was glowing in the night air, casting shadows on the ground below. It was a peaceful night. A peace Squall knew could not last.