(Chapter 7. August 21st. CGH recovery room. 4am.)
Steve Sloan drifted in a dark haze. He couldn't see anything, but he heard beeps and clicks and voices murmuring. His throat felt strange, and every few seconds a screaming pain lanced through his ribs. He tried to moan, tried to cry out, but he couldn't. He wanted to lose consciousness again, but he couldn't do that either.
Something was intruding into his mouth and throat. He tried to push it away, but his left arm wouldn't reach his face. He tried again with his right, and the same thing happened. Something soft and warm caught his right hand. "You're on a ventilator, Steve," said a sweet, comforting voice. "I know it feels nasty, but you have to leave it there for a little while. I don't know exactly why, but you didn't tolerate the anesthesia very well. We've had some trouble getting you to breathe on your own."
He squeezed the hand that held his, and it squeezed back.
"Open your eyes, Steve."
He shook his head ever so slightly.
"Come on, sweetheart," the voice crooned. "The only way you're going to get off the ventilator is to come fully conscious and start breathing on your own. You've been asleep a long time and you need to come back to us."
His eyes fluttered open, and he saw a freckle-faced redhead looking down at him. There was concern in her eyes, but no worry. He figured he would be all right.
"Squeeze once for yes and twice for no, ok?"
He squeezed her hand once.
"Do you know where you are?"
He cast a glance around the dimly lit room. He'd been in post-op recovery before. One squeeze.
"Do you know who I am?"
He hadn't known her long, but he'd never forget her now. One squeeze.
"Good! Then you remember my name is Sharon."
His eyes widened and he squeezed twice.
She chuckled and said, "That's right, I'm Olivia, aren't I?"
One firm squeeze. That was a rotten trick.
"Good. I had to check. Steve, do you remember what happened?"
He furrowed his brow and thought hard. She waited patiently. The only sounds in the room were the beep of the heart monitor and the whoosh and click of the ventilator. Nothing was coming back. Two hard squeezes.
"Ow! I guess that was a shout. Don't worry about it. It's common for the mind to block out trauma. It's a defense mechanism. Do you want me to tell you what happened?'
He thought a moment, squeezed once, tentatively, then twice.
"Yes and no? You're not sure. Why don't I give you the big picture, then we can fill in the details when you're stronger."
One squeeze.
"Ok. But before I start, I'm going to turn off the ventilator."
He squeezed her hand hard twice and held on.
She winced in pain but didn't try to pull away, "Steve, don't panic. I'm betting you can breathe on your own now, but there is only one way to find out."
He clung to her hand.
"You've been so brave through everything, Steve. You need to try this now. If you can't manage it yet, I can just turn the ventilator back on. It's no big deal." She waited for his answer. The only sounds were the whoosh, the click, and the beep. She rumpled his hair and looked into his eyes. "I know you're scared, but it will be ok. I promise."
She promised. He'd heard her say the same thing to his dad, and his dad had believed her. She seemed sincere. He could trust her, too. He squeezed once and then let go of her hand.
"Ok, Steve. The first breath might be a struggle, but once you get started it'll feel like you've been doing it all your life."
Oh, God. That sense of humor would be the death of him. Jesse was right. She was crazy after all. Steve realized that he didn't mind a bit.
The whoosh-click stopped. For a moment, Steve felt his heart pounding. "Come on, babe," Olivia encouraged him, "Take a deep, deep breath."
Something in his chest finally let go. His lungs filled, his ribs hurt like hell, and he was breathing on his own.
"Good job, Steve! That's what you needed to do!" She was quite a cheerleader. "Now, I am going to leave the tube in a little while longer, just in case we need to turn the ventilator back on, but I think I'll be removing it soon." She took his hand and said, "Now, let me tell you how you got here."
Briefly, she filled him in. He'd been shot. His partner was ok and his shooter was in the security wing. It was 4:00 am. He'd spent seven hours in surgery. His dad and friends were waiting outside until he was off the ventilator and could talk to them. "I just think your dad would be too upset to see you on a machine."
He squeezed once in agreement.
"Do you want to know more?"
Steve thought about it, and his curiosity got the best of him. He squeezed once. Gently, a little at a time, she gave him all the details. Six bullets, concussion, broken bones. Miraculously, there was no damage to his vital organs. Again, miraculously, she had been delayed long enough to be there when they brought him in. She explained how his dad got him to consent to being part of her new study and that he had a decent shot at a complete recovery.
Dr. Evans had performed a colostomy because his pelvis was so badly shattered it wouldn't withstand the pressure of a bowel movement. Once the bones healed, that would be reversed. He had something called a fixator on his right leg. So much bone had been blown away that it was shorter than his left leg. Olivia was going to stretch it as it healed, forcing more bone to grow so that his legs would be the same length again when it was healed completely. As part of the study, he was going to receive a special diet and low doses of growth hormones to stimulate bone growth. He couldn't move because, except for a small opening for the colostomy, he was in a full body cast. The results of a blood test came back and Olivia read them and smiled.
"Well, you're getting enough oxygen into you blood. Let's get that tube out."
One strong squeeze.
"I'm right here, Steve, you don't need to shout."
He just rolled his eyes. Very funny.
"Ok. When I tell you, take as deep a breath as you can. On three, let it out like you're blowing out a birthday cake. It will feel really bad, but then it will be over. Now breathe in."
He did as he was told, and his ribs hurt something awful. When he blew out, she pulled the tube free, and he gagged and coughed. Then, just like she said, it was over. His throat felt raw and his ribs hurt, but it was over.
"Thirsty," he croaked.
She picked up a cup of ice chips and dropped some into his mouth with a spoon. "Don't chew. Let them melt."
"How long until I'm up and around?"
Olivia shook her head. She always hated this question. "I'm not even going to discuss that today, Steve. It will be a while. It will take a lot of work. There are a lot of variables, but you will recover. When you're feeling a little stronger, we'll discuss a timeline for your recovery, but right now you need to rest."
"Promise me."
"Promise you what?"
Suddenly tears filled his eyes. He hadn't realized he was this scared. "If you promise me I'll get better, I'll believe you."
Olivia searched her heart. If she made that promise and was wrong, what would that do to him? Still, somehow she knew God had brought her here for this. Taking a deep breath, she made a leap of faith, "If you do what you're told and let God take care of the details, everything will be ok. I promise."
Steve smiled and blinked back his tears. "Can I see my dad?"
"Oh, thank God." Mark hung up the phone. Jesse and Amanda were at his side in a flash. They'd convinced him to take a nap in his office after Steve went into the recovery room, but that had been hours ago and they were very worried that something had gone wrong.
They gave him a moment to compose himself, then, "Well? How is he? Is he all right? What did she say?"
Mark laughed out loud. "He's 'good.' That was her exact word. He's good. He's in his own room and he wants to see me."
"Well, what took so long?" Amanda asked as she and Jesse followed Mark out of the office.
"She's not sure. He just had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia, but he's ok now."
Olivia met them at the door to Steve's room. "Hold it right there, you two," she said to Jesse and Amanda. "Just Mark, for now."
"Come, on, Liv," Jesse whined.
Amanda said nothing, but she was on the verge of tears.
Mark said, "It's been over ten hours Olivia. They haven't seen him since he was brought in."
"Ok," she relented. "Two minutes, guys. Mark, I'll give you ten."
"Fair enough," Mark agreed.
As Mark and Amanda slipped past her, Olivia caught Jesse by the arm. "Jess. About what happened in the OR..."
Jesse put up his hand. "You don't need to say another word, Liv. By the time the scrub room door closed behind me, I knew if I needed that desperately to be there, I was too desperate to do any good. You were right to send me out."
"So, we're ok?"
"Yeah." He gave her that boyish grin, and asked, "Can I see him now?"
Olivia let go of his arm and nodded him inside.
When Mark, Jesse, and Amanda approached the bed, Steve appeared to be sleeping. Mark checked the IV and the leads to the heart monitor and the colostomy dressing. Then he smoothed his son's hair gently off his face. Steve opened his eyes and focused on his dad and friends. "Hey, guys."
Jesse rested a hand on his plaster-covered shoulder and Amanda took his hand.
"Hey, Steve," Amanda said, "How are you feeling?"
"I've had my better days."
Jesse laughed, "I'll bet you have."
Steve looked at his dad, "You ok, Dad?"
Mark's voice was choked with emotion when he answered. "Yeah, son, I'm fine now. I was just worried about you is all."
"Well, you can stop worrying. I'm going to be ok. Olivia promised."
Steve didn't see the look that passed between Jesse and Amanda, and Mark was able to hide his reaction. "Did she, now?"
"Yeah."
Amanda nudged Jesse and they both headed out of the room, leaving Mark to sit with his son for a few minutes more.
"You know, Steve," Mark began carefully, "It might take a lot longer than you expect to get better. It's going to be a lot of work, and this treatment is only experimental."
"It doesn't matter, Dad. I know it will take a long time, but she promised me. I'm going to recover." Steve yawned then. "Look, Dad, I'm real tired. Mind if I get some more sleep?"
Mark patted his hand gently and said, "Of course not, son. Get some rest." He sat at Steve's bedside while he drifted off to sleep. In spite of everything, his son still had a childlike look of innocence in his sleep. He had no idea what an enormous lie he'd been told.
Mark's blood began to boil. He got up and strode out of the room. Seeing Jesse first he barked, "Where is she?"
"Mark, maybe you should calm down before you talk to her."
"Nonsense. Where is she, Jesse?"
"In her office with Amanda."
Mark was on a mission, with Jesse scrambling to keep up in his wake. He burst into the office and shouted, "What are you doing, making promises like that to my son? You can't promise he'll recover! You don't know!"
"Mark..." Amanda said soothingly.
He took her gently by the shoulders and moved her aside. "Stay out of this Amanda." He rested his hands heavily on Olivia's desk and loomed over her. "How could you possibly promise him he'd recover? He's convinced that it's all going to be ok and he's magically going to be all right. How could you do that?"
Olivia drew a steadying breath, stood up to look her boss in the eye, and said, "I promised him because it's true. There is no other alternative."
"No other...!" Mark laughed in shock. "My God, there could be neurological damage you're not yet aware of. He could get an infection. Any number of things could go wrong."
"They won't," she said levelly. "I won't allow them to. I can't explain how I know, but I do." She tapped her chest and tried to explain. "I know it in here. I can feel it, as sure and as strong as my own heartbeat. He's going to be ok."
"Dr. Regis," Mark said dangerously, "If he doesn't recover, your career will be over."
"Dr. Sloan," she replied with conviction, "If he doesn't, it should be."
A few days later, Mark sat at his desk, staring at nothing, worrying about his son. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even see his two young colleagues poke their heads around the corner.
"Mark," Amanda said sweetly.
"Oh. Hi, 'Manda. Jess. What's up?" He waved them in and gestured them into some seats.
Jesse spoke nervously. "We just wondered how you're doing. We haven't seen you around today."
"Oh. I guess I was just avoiding people," Mark said with a rueful grin.
"You're still worried about Steve," Amanda said. "Have you seen him today? How's he doing?"
"Just saw him about an hour ago. He's in a lot of pain, but his spirits are good. That," Mark choked up, calmed himself, and continued. "That...woman...has him completely convinced that everything's going to be just peachy. He won't even consider the possibility that he might not walk again."
Jesse and Amanda traded looks, and Jesse motioned Amanda to say something.
"Mark, have you considered the possibility that he might?"
"My God, Amanda, how dare you ask that? I pray every moment for a complete recovery for my son."
"That's kind of my point, Mark. If you're praying so hard, do you really believe it's possible?"
Mark's gaze could have turned her to stone. He stood up and pointed to the door. "Get out, both of you."
Jesse got up, but only to shut the door. Then he turned and faced the man who had become a second father, a better father, to him. "Mark, we're not leaving until you hear us out. You might not want to hear this, but you need to."
Amanda continued. "We think Olivia is right, Mark. And we think she did the right thing for Steve."
"I don't believe I'm hearing this from you two." He sat heavily in his chair. "Did you see Steve's x-rays? His body was broken into pieces. He might get his strength back, but there's only a slim chance he'll ever get back to normal. That promise she made him was unconscionable. His life as he knew it is over."
"Mark," Jesse said, "Listen to yourself. You sound so hopeless. I know this doesn't make sense, but Amanda and I think Olivia knows something. She knows something no one else can, and she's right. Steve is going to be ok."
Mark folded his hands on top of his desk. "I wish I could have the faith you two do. I just don't see it. And I don't think it's fair to Steve to let him think everything is going to be the way it was. This is going to dramatically change his life, and I think someone needs to tell him that."
Amanda got up and came around the desk. She put a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders and asked him gently, "Then why haven't you told him? Why do you let him go on believing a promise you think is false?"
Mark shook his head and admitted, "I just don't have the heart to say anything. It will break him."
"Maybe you just need to consider the other possibility," Amanda suggested.
"What other possibility?"
"That Olivia's right," Jesse supplied. "Consider her reputation, Mark. Maybe she does know something we don't."
"I have considered her reputation, Jesse," Mark replied heatedly. "And I think it has gone entirely to her head. That humility is just an act. Her confidence is arrogance in disguise. Years of praise and recognition have convinced her that she can work miracles. She's using my son to prove it, and she's going to destroy him. And I can't prevent it. He's utterly convinced that she's right."
"Maybe she is, Mark," Jesse pleaded. "If her reputation doesn't convince you, consider all the coincidences."
"What do you mean, Jess?"
"I know you told me she believes God brought her here to take care of Steve. Well, I'm not ready to say it was divine intervention or anything, but a lot of events did conspire to have her here when he was brought in. There's a lot she didn't tell you, you know?"
"Like what?" Mark's interest was piqued.
"Well, Evans and Macalvie, for instance. She was waiting to talk to them about a patient they had both treated. She could have been gone at four, but she needed to see them. In fact, it was just coincidence that Macalvie was on duty anyway. He was covering for Johnson. He wasn't even supposed to be here."
"Ok, Jess, but like you said, its just coincidence."
"But there's so much more, Mark. She and Steve had patched things up in your office and she invited him to her place for dinner. The talk they had delayed her going home. If she hadn't decided to speak to him, or if she had left her paperwork on her desk until morning, she'd have been gone when I paged her." Jesse was getting excited. He paused for a breath and Amanda continued.
"As she was leaving, Macalvie called her for a consult, the next time she tried to leave, Jesse asked her to stick around and help with a head-on collision. Would you believe there were only minor injuries? It was a head-on collision, Mark! Macalvie and Evans were both busy when she left. And she was right at the door when they brought Steve in."
Jesse finished up, "And she got the approval for her research just hours before. Mark, it just seems like it was meant to be. Olivia believes it. Steve believes in her. So do Amanda and I."
Mark looked from Jesse to Amanda and saw her nod. "I just don't know, guys. Like you say, it's all coincidence."
Amanda asked him, "If you know, what's the point of believing?"
"A pile of coincidences might add up to a…I don't know…a plan?" Jesse suggested.
"You do realize you're both talking about a miracle, here, don't you?"
Jesse and Amanda were both scientists. They were uneasy with the 'm-word' but when Mark put it to them plainly, they had to agree.
"I'm not sure I'm willing to take that leap when it concerns my son's physical and emotional well-being," Mark insisted.
"Mark," Jesse said. "You know as well as I do, with injuries like Steve's, believing you'll get well is at least as important as any medical treatment you can receive. If he thinks you don't expect him to recover, he won't. Let him take Olivia at her word. If she's wrong, and I don't think she is, but if she is, he'll at least have had a chance."
"But what will it do to him when he finds out she made a promise she can't keep?"
"Nothing worse than if you take that hope away now, Mark. If she is wrong, it might be easier for him to gradually realize that for himself than to have someone tell him so."
Amanda said, "Mark, he looks to you to know what to think. Don't let him down."
Several emotions crossed Mark's face; the last one was resolve. "I'm not as convinced as you two are, but I'll do my best to help Steve stay positive."
Steve Sloan drifted in a dark haze. He couldn't see anything, but he heard beeps and clicks and voices murmuring. His throat felt strange, and every few seconds a screaming pain lanced through his ribs. He tried to moan, tried to cry out, but he couldn't. He wanted to lose consciousness again, but he couldn't do that either.
Something was intruding into his mouth and throat. He tried to push it away, but his left arm wouldn't reach his face. He tried again with his right, and the same thing happened. Something soft and warm caught his right hand. "You're on a ventilator, Steve," said a sweet, comforting voice. "I know it feels nasty, but you have to leave it there for a little while. I don't know exactly why, but you didn't tolerate the anesthesia very well. We've had some trouble getting you to breathe on your own."
He squeezed the hand that held his, and it squeezed back.
"Open your eyes, Steve."
He shook his head ever so slightly.
"Come on, sweetheart," the voice crooned. "The only way you're going to get off the ventilator is to come fully conscious and start breathing on your own. You've been asleep a long time and you need to come back to us."
His eyes fluttered open, and he saw a freckle-faced redhead looking down at him. There was concern in her eyes, but no worry. He figured he would be all right.
"Squeeze once for yes and twice for no, ok?"
He squeezed her hand once.
"Do you know where you are?"
He cast a glance around the dimly lit room. He'd been in post-op recovery before. One squeeze.
"Do you know who I am?"
He hadn't known her long, but he'd never forget her now. One squeeze.
"Good! Then you remember my name is Sharon."
His eyes widened and he squeezed twice.
She chuckled and said, "That's right, I'm Olivia, aren't I?"
One firm squeeze. That was a rotten trick.
"Good. I had to check. Steve, do you remember what happened?"
He furrowed his brow and thought hard. She waited patiently. The only sounds in the room were the beep of the heart monitor and the whoosh and click of the ventilator. Nothing was coming back. Two hard squeezes.
"Ow! I guess that was a shout. Don't worry about it. It's common for the mind to block out trauma. It's a defense mechanism. Do you want me to tell you what happened?'
He thought a moment, squeezed once, tentatively, then twice.
"Yes and no? You're not sure. Why don't I give you the big picture, then we can fill in the details when you're stronger."
One squeeze.
"Ok. But before I start, I'm going to turn off the ventilator."
He squeezed her hand hard twice and held on.
She winced in pain but didn't try to pull away, "Steve, don't panic. I'm betting you can breathe on your own now, but there is only one way to find out."
He clung to her hand.
"You've been so brave through everything, Steve. You need to try this now. If you can't manage it yet, I can just turn the ventilator back on. It's no big deal." She waited for his answer. The only sounds were the whoosh, the click, and the beep. She rumpled his hair and looked into his eyes. "I know you're scared, but it will be ok. I promise."
She promised. He'd heard her say the same thing to his dad, and his dad had believed her. She seemed sincere. He could trust her, too. He squeezed once and then let go of her hand.
"Ok, Steve. The first breath might be a struggle, but once you get started it'll feel like you've been doing it all your life."
Oh, God. That sense of humor would be the death of him. Jesse was right. She was crazy after all. Steve realized that he didn't mind a bit.
The whoosh-click stopped. For a moment, Steve felt his heart pounding. "Come on, babe," Olivia encouraged him, "Take a deep, deep breath."
Something in his chest finally let go. His lungs filled, his ribs hurt like hell, and he was breathing on his own.
"Good job, Steve! That's what you needed to do!" She was quite a cheerleader. "Now, I am going to leave the tube in a little while longer, just in case we need to turn the ventilator back on, but I think I'll be removing it soon." She took his hand and said, "Now, let me tell you how you got here."
Briefly, she filled him in. He'd been shot. His partner was ok and his shooter was in the security wing. It was 4:00 am. He'd spent seven hours in surgery. His dad and friends were waiting outside until he was off the ventilator and could talk to them. "I just think your dad would be too upset to see you on a machine."
He squeezed once in agreement.
"Do you want to know more?"
Steve thought about it, and his curiosity got the best of him. He squeezed once. Gently, a little at a time, she gave him all the details. Six bullets, concussion, broken bones. Miraculously, there was no damage to his vital organs. Again, miraculously, she had been delayed long enough to be there when they brought him in. She explained how his dad got him to consent to being part of her new study and that he had a decent shot at a complete recovery.
Dr. Evans had performed a colostomy because his pelvis was so badly shattered it wouldn't withstand the pressure of a bowel movement. Once the bones healed, that would be reversed. He had something called a fixator on his right leg. So much bone had been blown away that it was shorter than his left leg. Olivia was going to stretch it as it healed, forcing more bone to grow so that his legs would be the same length again when it was healed completely. As part of the study, he was going to receive a special diet and low doses of growth hormones to stimulate bone growth. He couldn't move because, except for a small opening for the colostomy, he was in a full body cast. The results of a blood test came back and Olivia read them and smiled.
"Well, you're getting enough oxygen into you blood. Let's get that tube out."
One strong squeeze.
"I'm right here, Steve, you don't need to shout."
He just rolled his eyes. Very funny.
"Ok. When I tell you, take as deep a breath as you can. On three, let it out like you're blowing out a birthday cake. It will feel really bad, but then it will be over. Now breathe in."
He did as he was told, and his ribs hurt something awful. When he blew out, she pulled the tube free, and he gagged and coughed. Then, just like she said, it was over. His throat felt raw and his ribs hurt, but it was over.
"Thirsty," he croaked.
She picked up a cup of ice chips and dropped some into his mouth with a spoon. "Don't chew. Let them melt."
"How long until I'm up and around?"
Olivia shook her head. She always hated this question. "I'm not even going to discuss that today, Steve. It will be a while. It will take a lot of work. There are a lot of variables, but you will recover. When you're feeling a little stronger, we'll discuss a timeline for your recovery, but right now you need to rest."
"Promise me."
"Promise you what?"
Suddenly tears filled his eyes. He hadn't realized he was this scared. "If you promise me I'll get better, I'll believe you."
Olivia searched her heart. If she made that promise and was wrong, what would that do to him? Still, somehow she knew God had brought her here for this. Taking a deep breath, she made a leap of faith, "If you do what you're told and let God take care of the details, everything will be ok. I promise."
Steve smiled and blinked back his tears. "Can I see my dad?"
"Oh, thank God." Mark hung up the phone. Jesse and Amanda were at his side in a flash. They'd convinced him to take a nap in his office after Steve went into the recovery room, but that had been hours ago and they were very worried that something had gone wrong.
They gave him a moment to compose himself, then, "Well? How is he? Is he all right? What did she say?"
Mark laughed out loud. "He's 'good.' That was her exact word. He's good. He's in his own room and he wants to see me."
"Well, what took so long?" Amanda asked as she and Jesse followed Mark out of the office.
"She's not sure. He just had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia, but he's ok now."
Olivia met them at the door to Steve's room. "Hold it right there, you two," she said to Jesse and Amanda. "Just Mark, for now."
"Come, on, Liv," Jesse whined.
Amanda said nothing, but she was on the verge of tears.
Mark said, "It's been over ten hours Olivia. They haven't seen him since he was brought in."
"Ok," she relented. "Two minutes, guys. Mark, I'll give you ten."
"Fair enough," Mark agreed.
As Mark and Amanda slipped past her, Olivia caught Jesse by the arm. "Jess. About what happened in the OR..."
Jesse put up his hand. "You don't need to say another word, Liv. By the time the scrub room door closed behind me, I knew if I needed that desperately to be there, I was too desperate to do any good. You were right to send me out."
"So, we're ok?"
"Yeah." He gave her that boyish grin, and asked, "Can I see him now?"
Olivia let go of his arm and nodded him inside.
When Mark, Jesse, and Amanda approached the bed, Steve appeared to be sleeping. Mark checked the IV and the leads to the heart monitor and the colostomy dressing. Then he smoothed his son's hair gently off his face. Steve opened his eyes and focused on his dad and friends. "Hey, guys."
Jesse rested a hand on his plaster-covered shoulder and Amanda took his hand.
"Hey, Steve," Amanda said, "How are you feeling?"
"I've had my better days."
Jesse laughed, "I'll bet you have."
Steve looked at his dad, "You ok, Dad?"
Mark's voice was choked with emotion when he answered. "Yeah, son, I'm fine now. I was just worried about you is all."
"Well, you can stop worrying. I'm going to be ok. Olivia promised."
Steve didn't see the look that passed between Jesse and Amanda, and Mark was able to hide his reaction. "Did she, now?"
"Yeah."
Amanda nudged Jesse and they both headed out of the room, leaving Mark to sit with his son for a few minutes more.
"You know, Steve," Mark began carefully, "It might take a lot longer than you expect to get better. It's going to be a lot of work, and this treatment is only experimental."
"It doesn't matter, Dad. I know it will take a long time, but she promised me. I'm going to recover." Steve yawned then. "Look, Dad, I'm real tired. Mind if I get some more sleep?"
Mark patted his hand gently and said, "Of course not, son. Get some rest." He sat at Steve's bedside while he drifted off to sleep. In spite of everything, his son still had a childlike look of innocence in his sleep. He had no idea what an enormous lie he'd been told.
Mark's blood began to boil. He got up and strode out of the room. Seeing Jesse first he barked, "Where is she?"
"Mark, maybe you should calm down before you talk to her."
"Nonsense. Where is she, Jesse?"
"In her office with Amanda."
Mark was on a mission, with Jesse scrambling to keep up in his wake. He burst into the office and shouted, "What are you doing, making promises like that to my son? You can't promise he'll recover! You don't know!"
"Mark..." Amanda said soothingly.
He took her gently by the shoulders and moved her aside. "Stay out of this Amanda." He rested his hands heavily on Olivia's desk and loomed over her. "How could you possibly promise him he'd recover? He's convinced that it's all going to be ok and he's magically going to be all right. How could you do that?"
Olivia drew a steadying breath, stood up to look her boss in the eye, and said, "I promised him because it's true. There is no other alternative."
"No other...!" Mark laughed in shock. "My God, there could be neurological damage you're not yet aware of. He could get an infection. Any number of things could go wrong."
"They won't," she said levelly. "I won't allow them to. I can't explain how I know, but I do." She tapped her chest and tried to explain. "I know it in here. I can feel it, as sure and as strong as my own heartbeat. He's going to be ok."
"Dr. Regis," Mark said dangerously, "If he doesn't recover, your career will be over."
"Dr. Sloan," she replied with conviction, "If he doesn't, it should be."
A few days later, Mark sat at his desk, staring at nothing, worrying about his son. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even see his two young colleagues poke their heads around the corner.
"Mark," Amanda said sweetly.
"Oh. Hi, 'Manda. Jess. What's up?" He waved them in and gestured them into some seats.
Jesse spoke nervously. "We just wondered how you're doing. We haven't seen you around today."
"Oh. I guess I was just avoiding people," Mark said with a rueful grin.
"You're still worried about Steve," Amanda said. "Have you seen him today? How's he doing?"
"Just saw him about an hour ago. He's in a lot of pain, but his spirits are good. That," Mark choked up, calmed himself, and continued. "That...woman...has him completely convinced that everything's going to be just peachy. He won't even consider the possibility that he might not walk again."
Jesse and Amanda traded looks, and Jesse motioned Amanda to say something.
"Mark, have you considered the possibility that he might?"
"My God, Amanda, how dare you ask that? I pray every moment for a complete recovery for my son."
"That's kind of my point, Mark. If you're praying so hard, do you really believe it's possible?"
Mark's gaze could have turned her to stone. He stood up and pointed to the door. "Get out, both of you."
Jesse got up, but only to shut the door. Then he turned and faced the man who had become a second father, a better father, to him. "Mark, we're not leaving until you hear us out. You might not want to hear this, but you need to."
Amanda continued. "We think Olivia is right, Mark. And we think she did the right thing for Steve."
"I don't believe I'm hearing this from you two." He sat heavily in his chair. "Did you see Steve's x-rays? His body was broken into pieces. He might get his strength back, but there's only a slim chance he'll ever get back to normal. That promise she made him was unconscionable. His life as he knew it is over."
"Mark," Jesse said, "Listen to yourself. You sound so hopeless. I know this doesn't make sense, but Amanda and I think Olivia knows something. She knows something no one else can, and she's right. Steve is going to be ok."
Mark folded his hands on top of his desk. "I wish I could have the faith you two do. I just don't see it. And I don't think it's fair to Steve to let him think everything is going to be the way it was. This is going to dramatically change his life, and I think someone needs to tell him that."
Amanda got up and came around the desk. She put a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders and asked him gently, "Then why haven't you told him? Why do you let him go on believing a promise you think is false?"
Mark shook his head and admitted, "I just don't have the heart to say anything. It will break him."
"Maybe you just need to consider the other possibility," Amanda suggested.
"What other possibility?"
"That Olivia's right," Jesse supplied. "Consider her reputation, Mark. Maybe she does know something we don't."
"I have considered her reputation, Jesse," Mark replied heatedly. "And I think it has gone entirely to her head. That humility is just an act. Her confidence is arrogance in disguise. Years of praise and recognition have convinced her that she can work miracles. She's using my son to prove it, and she's going to destroy him. And I can't prevent it. He's utterly convinced that she's right."
"Maybe she is, Mark," Jesse pleaded. "If her reputation doesn't convince you, consider all the coincidences."
"What do you mean, Jess?"
"I know you told me she believes God brought her here to take care of Steve. Well, I'm not ready to say it was divine intervention or anything, but a lot of events did conspire to have her here when he was brought in. There's a lot she didn't tell you, you know?"
"Like what?" Mark's interest was piqued.
"Well, Evans and Macalvie, for instance. She was waiting to talk to them about a patient they had both treated. She could have been gone at four, but she needed to see them. In fact, it was just coincidence that Macalvie was on duty anyway. He was covering for Johnson. He wasn't even supposed to be here."
"Ok, Jess, but like you said, its just coincidence."
"But there's so much more, Mark. She and Steve had patched things up in your office and she invited him to her place for dinner. The talk they had delayed her going home. If she hadn't decided to speak to him, or if she had left her paperwork on her desk until morning, she'd have been gone when I paged her." Jesse was getting excited. He paused for a breath and Amanda continued.
"As she was leaving, Macalvie called her for a consult, the next time she tried to leave, Jesse asked her to stick around and help with a head-on collision. Would you believe there were only minor injuries? It was a head-on collision, Mark! Macalvie and Evans were both busy when she left. And she was right at the door when they brought Steve in."
Jesse finished up, "And she got the approval for her research just hours before. Mark, it just seems like it was meant to be. Olivia believes it. Steve believes in her. So do Amanda and I."
Mark looked from Jesse to Amanda and saw her nod. "I just don't know, guys. Like you say, it's all coincidence."
Amanda asked him, "If you know, what's the point of believing?"
"A pile of coincidences might add up to a…I don't know…a plan?" Jesse suggested.
"You do realize you're both talking about a miracle, here, don't you?"
Jesse and Amanda were both scientists. They were uneasy with the 'm-word' but when Mark put it to them plainly, they had to agree.
"I'm not sure I'm willing to take that leap when it concerns my son's physical and emotional well-being," Mark insisted.
"Mark," Jesse said. "You know as well as I do, with injuries like Steve's, believing you'll get well is at least as important as any medical treatment you can receive. If he thinks you don't expect him to recover, he won't. Let him take Olivia at her word. If she's wrong, and I don't think she is, but if she is, he'll at least have had a chance."
"But what will it do to him when he finds out she made a promise she can't keep?"
"Nothing worse than if you take that hope away now, Mark. If she is wrong, it might be easier for him to gradually realize that for himself than to have someone tell him so."
Amanda said, "Mark, he looks to you to know what to think. Don't let him down."
Several emotions crossed Mark's face; the last one was resolve. "I'm not as convinced as you two are, but I'll do my best to help Steve stay positive."