(Chapter 9. September 6th through October 11th. CGH.)
"Oh, God! Hey! Be Careful!"
"Steve," Olivia said soothingly, "Take it easy."
"Take it easy yourself. You're not the one hanging in mid air."
Steve was indeed hanging. He was still in a body cast and he was being moved to physical therapy. The day before, Olivia had cut part of his cast away, freeing his arms and shoulders. He'd been moved, bed and all to the rehab wing of the Community General campus. Today, for the first time, the orderlies were using a hydraulic lift to move him from the bed to a gurney. They were going to put him on something called a tilt table. Olivia had explained that, just as they needed to turn him over on his stomach from time to time to prevent bedsores, they also needed to get him upright to keep his blood pressure up.
"I thought it was a bad thing to get your blood pressure up," Steve had commented.
"Usually it is," Olivia had agreed, "But when a patient spends a good deal of time reclining, like you have been and will continue doing, the blood pressure tends to be abnormally low. Then the first time he tries to stand, he passes out cold. By putting you on a tilt table, we can normalize it. That way, when you're ready to be up and around, you won't have to fight off any dizziness."
"You know, Liv, the more I think about it, the worse this idea sounds," Steve said nervously as the orderlies settled him on a gurney and began to push him down the hall.
Olivia took his hand and fell into step beside him. "Well, you've been laying flat for almost two weeks while we waited for your bones to heal enough to take a shift in position. We couldn't do this before because even with the cast, the weight of your body could easily distort the shape of your pelvis as it healed and create problems down the road. Your body can handle this now. The longer we wait the harder it's going to be."
"I know," Steve said in a low voice, "But I'm not sure I'm ready to go through with this right now. What you described sounds pretty terrible."
"Well, I've never had to suffer through it myself, but by all accounts, the sensations of free-fall and vertigo really stink."
"Uh, Liv?"
"Yeah, Steve?"
"You're not making this any easier."
She laughed at that. "I'm sorry, babe. What you're worrying about is the worst-case scenario. It probably won't be that bad, but even if it is terrible at first, it will pass. Then it will be no big deal."
"Promise?"
There was that word again. This time it was easy. "Promise!"
By now, they had arrived at the PT room. Olivia gave Steve a minute to look over the tilt table before the orderlies moved him to it. It looked harmless enough; it was just a gray, padded table with a footrest, three straps, and some gears. Finally, he took a deep breath and told Olivia, "Ok. Let's do it."
Olivia patted his arm and told him, "That's the spirit!"
The orderlies used the lift to move him again and left Olivia to strap him down.
"Ok, Steve," she said in her most calming voice, "We're going to take this nice and slow. I'm going to start moving the table to an upright position. All you need to do is stay calm and keep breathing normally. Let me know if you start to feel dizzy or uncomfortable."
Steve heard a click and felt himself start to move. After being bedridden so long, it was a strange sensation to feel his feet sinking as his head came up. Suddenly things started to spin. "Liv, stop! Oh, man. This is bad."
Olivia stopped the table, smoothed his hair, held his hand, and comforted him. "It's ok, just hang in there. It will pass soon."
After several moments, the dizziness passed, and she started to move him again. Again, he had to ask her to stop and wait a few minutes. It was a slow process, but eventually, Olivia had moved the table all the way up, and Steve was resting comfortably at an 80-degree angle, almost, but not quite, upright.
They had been chatting for several minutes when a young man entered the room to join them. "Hey, Doc. Is this the patient you were telling me about?"
"Hey, Davis. Yeah." Turning to Steve, she said, "Steve Sloan, this is Davis Green. Davis is going to be your physical therapist. He's going to help you get back on your feet. Davis, Steve's been through a rough couple of weeks, but he's doing a lot better and he's ready to begin therapy now. I think the two of you will enjoy working together."
Steve hadn't said a word yet.
Looking at her wrist, then grabbing Davis's arm to check his watch, Olivia said, "Well, I have an appointment in about ten minutes. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Patting Steve's arm, she said, "I'll see you later."
"Liv, wait!" Looking at Davis, Steve asked, "Uh, could you give us a minute?"
"Sure, man. I'll be right outside, Doc." Davis left them alone in the PT room.
"Liv, please say you're not going to leave me alone with a stranger. I just..."
"Steve," Olivia interrupted gently, "You've got a long road ahead of you. I'll be here for you through it all," she promised, "But I can't be with you every minute. Besides, you don't need me for this; you can handle it. Davis is good at his job, and he's a really neat guy. Give this a chance."
"Olivia, please don't do this."
"It's done, Steve. I'll see you every day, and I'll let you beat me at poker; but I have other responsibilities," she insisted.
"Liv, you're wrong. I do need you here. You've been here for everything since this whole mess started. I can't do this alone. I've come to depend on you."
"That's part of the problem, Steve. You depend on me too much." She knew her words stung, and she tried to soften the blow. "What happened to you scared you. I was the first person there when you came to, and now you look to me to take care of you. I'm not going to do that. You don't need taking care of. You need your confidence back."
Steve gulped and blinked back frightened tears. "You're right," he agreed, "but I don't know how to get it back."
"You start today." Patting his arm, she reassured him, "You're well out of danger now, and you don't need me hovering all the time. You can trust Davis to get you back in shape. I wouldn't choose anyone less than the best for you. Will you give him a chance?"
Reluctantly, Steve nodded. "Ok. I'll try."
"Now, that's what I wanted to hear. Thanks, Steve. It'll be ok, you'll see."
"Promise?"
Olivia crossed her heart and winked, "Promise!"
He watched her back as she walked away, admiring the sway of her hips and the bounce of her curls as she moved. She was letting her hair grow. Chagrined, he suddenly realized that he must have been getting better. It had been a while since he'd noticed things like that about her. He definitely liked the view from the back as well as from the front. A few moments later, the smiling young man came back in.
"So," Davis said, "I hear you're a huge Laker's fan."
Steve's guts were in knots. He hadn't expected to be this nervous. He wished he had asked his dad to be with him, but no, he had insisted over and over that it was no big deal. Now he was by himself in a cold exam room, waiting for the results of the x-rays that would decide whether he would finally be free of the cast that had imprisoned him for over two months.
Three weeks ago, Olivia had determined that his shattered pelvis had healed enough to withstand normal bowel function, and he'd had surgery to reverse his colostomy. When he woke from the surgery she, Jesse, Amanda, and his dad were all there. He had a new cast that covered from just above his knees to the lower part of his ribcage, and he had changed position. He was no longer flat on his back, but partially sitting. At first, the change in position had been so painful it made him throw up, but once his body adjusted, he'd felt better than he had since the shooting.
Since the surgery, he had been doing everything Davis had asked to build upper body strength, and he'd been working on improving the flexibility in his ankles and knees. Now, he wanted to walk. God, he was tired of being stuck in bed! He drummed a tattoo on the cast with his fingers and wished Olivia would hurry. He was almost ready to call out when his dad walked in.
"Dad, what are you doing here?"
"Steve, I know you told me you didn't need me here today, but I was kind of hoping you wouldn't mind the company. They told me I could come in and see you. If you want, I can go."
"No, Dad," Steve smiled uneasily, "I…well, I was kind of wishing you were here. Thanks for coming by."
Mark nodded and smiled at his son. "Getting nervous, huh?"
"If I don't get out of this thing, I'm going to go crazy. I want to walk again."
Mark put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. "Steve, you know you're not just going to get up and walk out of here when the cast comes off, don't you?"
"Yeah, Dad," Steve nodded, "I know it's going to be a whole lot of hard work before I can walk on my own. I'm ready to do that work, Dad. I just have to get out of this first." He knocked sharply on the plaster covering his thigh.
"Well," Mark said. "Whatever happens, you've got a great physical therapist to help you along the way."
"Dad? If Olivia says it can't come off yet, would you ask her to step out and leave us alone for a bit? I really don't want to embarrass myself in front of her by blowing up or, uh, breaking down."
"Son," Mark patted Steve on the back. "That wouldn't even faze her. I don't know if you realize this, but she is already very impressed with you. She just thinks you're the bees knees."
Steve blushed a bit and grinned. "Thanks, Dad. That's nice to know. We really hit it off those first couple days and, in spite of that misunderstanding, we had plans for dinner when all of this happened." Steve rubbed his hands over his face. "I was beginning to wonder if her feelings had changed because of..." he gestured futilely at his plaster- encased body, "You know?"
"Well, I can't say exactly what her feelings for you are," Mark said, "But I wouldn't be surprised if she was just keeping you at arm's length because it looks bad to get too close to one's patients."
"Yeah? Dad, I hate to ask, but could you find out for me?"
Mark considered for a moment and said, "Nope. You need to do that for yourself." He didn't intend to tell Steve that Olivia had come to him over a week ago to discuss this very dilemma, and with Mark's blessing had decided to wait and see what Steve would do after he was discharged. He figured if his son forced the issue, they could stop "playing doctor" and get back to seeing how they worked as a couple. Olivia may have been too casual about giving her word that Steve would recover completely, but Mark was convinced that she loved his son. He considered them a good match and wanted to see them both happy.
"But, Dad."
Mark rolled his eyes. His son was a grown man, but sometimes he still whined like a teenager. "No, Steve, I won't do it."
"Do what?" Olivia asked as she came into the room.
"Override you if you say the cast can't come off," Mark covered smoothly. Looking at his son, he continued, "I told you before, Steve, Olivia is your doctor, and she is the expert. She knows far better than I do what's best for you right now."
Olivia looked from one Sloan to the other and said, "I hope it doesn't come to that. I haven't seen these x-rays yet, so, shall we all find out together?"
As Olivia turned on the x-ray viewer and slipped the films into place, Steve mouthed the words, "Thanks, Dad," behind her back. Mark nodded an acknowledgement.
Both men watched intently as she studied the films. Her face betrayed nothing, and Steve suddenly knew she really had been letting him win at poker all along. She sighed deeply and rubbed a hand over her mouth.
"Steve, I'm sorry."
Steve's stomach turned over and he nearly catapulted his lunch across the room. Darkness was closing in and the room was spinning. Why did things have to be this bad?
"From the looks of these x-rays, we could have had you out of that thing over a week ago."
Everything came to a sudden stop. He wasn't sure what he was hearing now. He looked up, and there she was, smiling at him with a mischievous light in her eyes. His dad was grinning from ear to ear, and Olivia was saying something that sounded like good news. "I knew the diet and hormone therapy were going to work, but I never expected them to work this well or this fast. It's utterly amazing."
Steve was confused. Looking up at her, he commanded, "Tell me again."
If possible she smiled even wider, crouched down to look him in the eye and said, "Babe, it's time to get you out of that thing."
He let out a tremendous whoop of sheer joy and wrapped his arms around her neck. "Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God," he said.
Olivia gave him a quick, tight hug and a pat on the back. Then she pulled away and said, "Easy, big fella. Steve, you do know this isn't the end, right? It's just the beginning."
"Yeah, Liv, I know, and I am so ready to get started I can't even tell you."
"Well, then, let me find a couple of orderlies to get you up on the table. Mark, you'll be helping me remove the cast, right?"
"You just try and stop me," Mark said with a grin.
"Oh, God! Hey! Be Careful!"
"Steve," Olivia said soothingly, "Take it easy."
"Take it easy yourself. You're not the one hanging in mid air."
Steve was indeed hanging. He was still in a body cast and he was being moved to physical therapy. The day before, Olivia had cut part of his cast away, freeing his arms and shoulders. He'd been moved, bed and all to the rehab wing of the Community General campus. Today, for the first time, the orderlies were using a hydraulic lift to move him from the bed to a gurney. They were going to put him on something called a tilt table. Olivia had explained that, just as they needed to turn him over on his stomach from time to time to prevent bedsores, they also needed to get him upright to keep his blood pressure up.
"I thought it was a bad thing to get your blood pressure up," Steve had commented.
"Usually it is," Olivia had agreed, "But when a patient spends a good deal of time reclining, like you have been and will continue doing, the blood pressure tends to be abnormally low. Then the first time he tries to stand, he passes out cold. By putting you on a tilt table, we can normalize it. That way, when you're ready to be up and around, you won't have to fight off any dizziness."
"You know, Liv, the more I think about it, the worse this idea sounds," Steve said nervously as the orderlies settled him on a gurney and began to push him down the hall.
Olivia took his hand and fell into step beside him. "Well, you've been laying flat for almost two weeks while we waited for your bones to heal enough to take a shift in position. We couldn't do this before because even with the cast, the weight of your body could easily distort the shape of your pelvis as it healed and create problems down the road. Your body can handle this now. The longer we wait the harder it's going to be."
"I know," Steve said in a low voice, "But I'm not sure I'm ready to go through with this right now. What you described sounds pretty terrible."
"Well, I've never had to suffer through it myself, but by all accounts, the sensations of free-fall and vertigo really stink."
"Uh, Liv?"
"Yeah, Steve?"
"You're not making this any easier."
She laughed at that. "I'm sorry, babe. What you're worrying about is the worst-case scenario. It probably won't be that bad, but even if it is terrible at first, it will pass. Then it will be no big deal."
"Promise?"
There was that word again. This time it was easy. "Promise!"
By now, they had arrived at the PT room. Olivia gave Steve a minute to look over the tilt table before the orderlies moved him to it. It looked harmless enough; it was just a gray, padded table with a footrest, three straps, and some gears. Finally, he took a deep breath and told Olivia, "Ok. Let's do it."
Olivia patted his arm and told him, "That's the spirit!"
The orderlies used the lift to move him again and left Olivia to strap him down.
"Ok, Steve," she said in her most calming voice, "We're going to take this nice and slow. I'm going to start moving the table to an upright position. All you need to do is stay calm and keep breathing normally. Let me know if you start to feel dizzy or uncomfortable."
Steve heard a click and felt himself start to move. After being bedridden so long, it was a strange sensation to feel his feet sinking as his head came up. Suddenly things started to spin. "Liv, stop! Oh, man. This is bad."
Olivia stopped the table, smoothed his hair, held his hand, and comforted him. "It's ok, just hang in there. It will pass soon."
After several moments, the dizziness passed, and she started to move him again. Again, he had to ask her to stop and wait a few minutes. It was a slow process, but eventually, Olivia had moved the table all the way up, and Steve was resting comfortably at an 80-degree angle, almost, but not quite, upright.
They had been chatting for several minutes when a young man entered the room to join them. "Hey, Doc. Is this the patient you were telling me about?"
"Hey, Davis. Yeah." Turning to Steve, she said, "Steve Sloan, this is Davis Green. Davis is going to be your physical therapist. He's going to help you get back on your feet. Davis, Steve's been through a rough couple of weeks, but he's doing a lot better and he's ready to begin therapy now. I think the two of you will enjoy working together."
Steve hadn't said a word yet.
Looking at her wrist, then grabbing Davis's arm to check his watch, Olivia said, "Well, I have an appointment in about ten minutes. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Patting Steve's arm, she said, "I'll see you later."
"Liv, wait!" Looking at Davis, Steve asked, "Uh, could you give us a minute?"
"Sure, man. I'll be right outside, Doc." Davis left them alone in the PT room.
"Liv, please say you're not going to leave me alone with a stranger. I just..."
"Steve," Olivia interrupted gently, "You've got a long road ahead of you. I'll be here for you through it all," she promised, "But I can't be with you every minute. Besides, you don't need me for this; you can handle it. Davis is good at his job, and he's a really neat guy. Give this a chance."
"Olivia, please don't do this."
"It's done, Steve. I'll see you every day, and I'll let you beat me at poker; but I have other responsibilities," she insisted.
"Liv, you're wrong. I do need you here. You've been here for everything since this whole mess started. I can't do this alone. I've come to depend on you."
"That's part of the problem, Steve. You depend on me too much." She knew her words stung, and she tried to soften the blow. "What happened to you scared you. I was the first person there when you came to, and now you look to me to take care of you. I'm not going to do that. You don't need taking care of. You need your confidence back."
Steve gulped and blinked back frightened tears. "You're right," he agreed, "but I don't know how to get it back."
"You start today." Patting his arm, she reassured him, "You're well out of danger now, and you don't need me hovering all the time. You can trust Davis to get you back in shape. I wouldn't choose anyone less than the best for you. Will you give him a chance?"
Reluctantly, Steve nodded. "Ok. I'll try."
"Now, that's what I wanted to hear. Thanks, Steve. It'll be ok, you'll see."
"Promise?"
Olivia crossed her heart and winked, "Promise!"
He watched her back as she walked away, admiring the sway of her hips and the bounce of her curls as she moved. She was letting her hair grow. Chagrined, he suddenly realized that he must have been getting better. It had been a while since he'd noticed things like that about her. He definitely liked the view from the back as well as from the front. A few moments later, the smiling young man came back in.
"So," Davis said, "I hear you're a huge Laker's fan."
Steve's guts were in knots. He hadn't expected to be this nervous. He wished he had asked his dad to be with him, but no, he had insisted over and over that it was no big deal. Now he was by himself in a cold exam room, waiting for the results of the x-rays that would decide whether he would finally be free of the cast that had imprisoned him for over two months.
Three weeks ago, Olivia had determined that his shattered pelvis had healed enough to withstand normal bowel function, and he'd had surgery to reverse his colostomy. When he woke from the surgery she, Jesse, Amanda, and his dad were all there. He had a new cast that covered from just above his knees to the lower part of his ribcage, and he had changed position. He was no longer flat on his back, but partially sitting. At first, the change in position had been so painful it made him throw up, but once his body adjusted, he'd felt better than he had since the shooting.
Since the surgery, he had been doing everything Davis had asked to build upper body strength, and he'd been working on improving the flexibility in his ankles and knees. Now, he wanted to walk. God, he was tired of being stuck in bed! He drummed a tattoo on the cast with his fingers and wished Olivia would hurry. He was almost ready to call out when his dad walked in.
"Dad, what are you doing here?"
"Steve, I know you told me you didn't need me here today, but I was kind of hoping you wouldn't mind the company. They told me I could come in and see you. If you want, I can go."
"No, Dad," Steve smiled uneasily, "I…well, I was kind of wishing you were here. Thanks for coming by."
Mark nodded and smiled at his son. "Getting nervous, huh?"
"If I don't get out of this thing, I'm going to go crazy. I want to walk again."
Mark put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. "Steve, you know you're not just going to get up and walk out of here when the cast comes off, don't you?"
"Yeah, Dad," Steve nodded, "I know it's going to be a whole lot of hard work before I can walk on my own. I'm ready to do that work, Dad. I just have to get out of this first." He knocked sharply on the plaster covering his thigh.
"Well," Mark said. "Whatever happens, you've got a great physical therapist to help you along the way."
"Dad? If Olivia says it can't come off yet, would you ask her to step out and leave us alone for a bit? I really don't want to embarrass myself in front of her by blowing up or, uh, breaking down."
"Son," Mark patted Steve on the back. "That wouldn't even faze her. I don't know if you realize this, but she is already very impressed with you. She just thinks you're the bees knees."
Steve blushed a bit and grinned. "Thanks, Dad. That's nice to know. We really hit it off those first couple days and, in spite of that misunderstanding, we had plans for dinner when all of this happened." Steve rubbed his hands over his face. "I was beginning to wonder if her feelings had changed because of..." he gestured futilely at his plaster- encased body, "You know?"
"Well, I can't say exactly what her feelings for you are," Mark said, "But I wouldn't be surprised if she was just keeping you at arm's length because it looks bad to get too close to one's patients."
"Yeah? Dad, I hate to ask, but could you find out for me?"
Mark considered for a moment and said, "Nope. You need to do that for yourself." He didn't intend to tell Steve that Olivia had come to him over a week ago to discuss this very dilemma, and with Mark's blessing had decided to wait and see what Steve would do after he was discharged. He figured if his son forced the issue, they could stop "playing doctor" and get back to seeing how they worked as a couple. Olivia may have been too casual about giving her word that Steve would recover completely, but Mark was convinced that she loved his son. He considered them a good match and wanted to see them both happy.
"But, Dad."
Mark rolled his eyes. His son was a grown man, but sometimes he still whined like a teenager. "No, Steve, I won't do it."
"Do what?" Olivia asked as she came into the room.
"Override you if you say the cast can't come off," Mark covered smoothly. Looking at his son, he continued, "I told you before, Steve, Olivia is your doctor, and she is the expert. She knows far better than I do what's best for you right now."
Olivia looked from one Sloan to the other and said, "I hope it doesn't come to that. I haven't seen these x-rays yet, so, shall we all find out together?"
As Olivia turned on the x-ray viewer and slipped the films into place, Steve mouthed the words, "Thanks, Dad," behind her back. Mark nodded an acknowledgement.
Both men watched intently as she studied the films. Her face betrayed nothing, and Steve suddenly knew she really had been letting him win at poker all along. She sighed deeply and rubbed a hand over her mouth.
"Steve, I'm sorry."
Steve's stomach turned over and he nearly catapulted his lunch across the room. Darkness was closing in and the room was spinning. Why did things have to be this bad?
"From the looks of these x-rays, we could have had you out of that thing over a week ago."
Everything came to a sudden stop. He wasn't sure what he was hearing now. He looked up, and there she was, smiling at him with a mischievous light in her eyes. His dad was grinning from ear to ear, and Olivia was saying something that sounded like good news. "I knew the diet and hormone therapy were going to work, but I never expected them to work this well or this fast. It's utterly amazing."
Steve was confused. Looking up at her, he commanded, "Tell me again."
If possible she smiled even wider, crouched down to look him in the eye and said, "Babe, it's time to get you out of that thing."
He let out a tremendous whoop of sheer joy and wrapped his arms around her neck. "Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God," he said.
Olivia gave him a quick, tight hug and a pat on the back. Then she pulled away and said, "Easy, big fella. Steve, you do know this isn't the end, right? It's just the beginning."
"Yeah, Liv, I know, and I am so ready to get started I can't even tell you."
"Well, then, let me find a couple of orderlies to get you up on the table. Mark, you'll be helping me remove the cast, right?"
"You just try and stop me," Mark said with a grin.