Chapter Seven

Alderaan was paradise compared to Dagobah. Even in the cloak of night, its beauty could not be hidden. If anything else, it was even more beautiful in the silver moonlight. Trees with long graceful branches swayed in the cool, summer breezes, and insects sang along with the sound of leaves rustling softly. For a moment, Padmé could let herself believe that she was back on Naboo, in her garden. She had loved sitting in it at night, looking up at the sky and breathing in the night air. Alderaan was a lot like Naboo in its natural beauty, and Padmé was happy that her children would be born on this world instead of Dagobah.

If only the nightmares hadn't started.

It started the second night of their stay in Bail's cabin. Hidden high in the mountains and deep in the forest, it would have taken days for anyone to find them, so it wasn't fear that kept Padmé awake. For some reason, surrounded by this beauty and peacefulness was illiciting the opposite reaction from her. On Dagobah, when she slept in the dirt, she didn't dream, had been too tired to dream. On Alderaan, in a bed that was as soft as the one she used to have, she could only get one or two hours of rest until nightmares would make her wake in a cold sweat, her heart pounding madly.

She had no clear memories of her nightmares, only emotions that made her clutch at her sheets. She had vague recollections of being chased, captured, and tortured. It was always that feeling of being hunted that scared Padmé, but it was the hunter that scared her the most. A hunter with a black helmet and a face scarred beyond repair.

So now she sat on the porch swing of the cabin, legs stretched out in front of her, watching the shadows of the tree brances dance.

She missed Obi-Wan.

He'd been her constant companion for nearly half a year, and she yearned for his presence. He had disappeared an hour after they arrived, saying he needed some time alone and it has been nearly a week since then. Bail had been hesitant in leaving the two women without protection but Sabé had reminded him that she was a trained bodyguard. Obi-Wan had smiled reassuringly at Padmé, silently promising that he would be back and that he would not be spending his time wallowing in self-pity. She understood that he needed time to heal, even just a little.

But she missed him.

Behind her, the door opened and Sabé came out, worried.

"Are you alright?" she inquired softly.

"Just thinking," Padmé said. "I'm fine."

Sabé crossed her arms and looked out into the trees. "Do you know when Master Kenobi will be back?"

"No, he didn't say, but he will be back."

"He's very kind to you, Mistress."

"He's a kind man." Padmé glanced sideways at her. "You love him, Sabé. I see it in your eyes."

"It is hard not to," was the simple response. "But I know it is not to be. He...he has no room in his heart for me."

"He has no energy for much else."

"Enough for you, Mistress."

"For the twins."

"No, for you."

Padmé frowned. "What are you trying to tell me? That Obi-Wan and I...you cannot be more mistaken."

Sabé was thoughtful. "There is a bond between the two of you and it is a strong one. Whether or not it is love, I cannot say. I somehow doubt that you or he can deny or acknowledge it either."

Padmé felt for the wedding ring she now wore around her neck on a chain. Her finger had become too swollen for her to wear it. It was cold to her touch.

"I loved Anakin with all my heart. I don't think I can ever love another," she murmured.

"It can be a different love."

Padmé took a deep breath, her mouth twisting. "I do not wish to talk about this any further."

"I apologize, Mistress. Would you like to come back in?"

It was a command wrapped in a request. Padmé sat in silence for another minute or two and then she heaved herself up from her seat. Sabé followed her in, taking one last look into the forest, checking for any strange movements and for any sign of Obi-Wan.

"He'll be back," Padmé said without turning around.

Obi-Wan stood underneath the waterfall, allowing the fresh water sluice over his aching muscles. He shivered but also found the impromptu shower refreshing after his workout. He had never felt more invigorated, more alive, and he was glad he had taken this small trip. He needed a clearer head to be able to deal with more immediate problems.

The thought of Padmé and Sabé alone in the cabin made his short burst of happiness disappear. He would go back to them today. The mountain had been good for him and he was done with the self-pity and agonizing. Padmé and the twins needed him to be strong, and he would do just that.

Tilting his face up, he ran his hands through his tangled hair, washing out the dirty and grime. It was then did he become aware of another presence. Casually, he stepped out from underneath the falling water and reached for his pants--his lightsaber lying right on top of them.

"It is just me, Master Kenobi."

Annoyed, Obi-Wan pulled on his pants and looked to where the voice had come from. Sabé emerged from behind some bushes and she nimbly climbed down to where he stood. Even from that distance, he could see that her face was flaming red. Unsure of what to say, Obi-Wan decided he would let her speak first.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." she said, stopping in front of him and staring at a spot on his chest. "It's the Senator..."

"Is she alright?" he demanded, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on, his eyes not leaving Sabé's face.

"She has not been sleeping well and I'm afraid she's going to make herself ill."

On Dagobah, he had been helping Padmé sleep well, afraid that the environment they were in and the stress they were under would be a detriment to her health, but he was sure she would be fine here. He pushed past Sabé and began to climb back up towards the cabin. They weren't far and with Sabé close at his heels, Obi-Wan made it there in record time. Struggling to catch his breath, he walked through the door and found Padmé on the couch. She looked up and smiled when she saw him.

"You're back!" she exclaimed, starting to get up.

He gently pushed her back down and sat next to her. "Yes, I didn't mean to be gone for so long, but..."

"I know," she interrupted. "It's alright."

Studying her face, he saw how tired she looked and how dark the circles were under her eyes.

"Sabé tells me you've not been sleeping well."

Padmé threw an accusing look at her bodyguard. "Just restless. I'll be fine."

He didn't look convinced, but didn't push the subject.

"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" she commented.

"Yes, it is."

"You look well. Rested."

"The time away was good for me. I'm better now," he said. "Being surrounded by life erased what was on Dagobah from my mind."

"I haven't been able to see anything. Sabé has been keeping me under lock and key."

He took her hand and stood. "Let's go for a walk then. It'll be good for you. Then afterwards, you can rest."

She shook her head at him. "I'm fine, I told you, but it's a good idea all the same which is why I'm going."

"Don't be difficult," he admonished. "You're welcome to come along, Sabé."

The handmaiden glanced at their joined hands and locked eyes with Padmé. She spoke to Obi-Wan but did not break the contact with her mistress.

"I'll stay behind. You two go," she said with a weak smile. "Show her this new world, Master Kenobi."