Chapter Nine

Standing at the window with her arms wrapped around herself, Padmé never looked further away to Obi-Wan.

"How long can I keep them?" she asked with a voice devoid of emotion.

"You and Leia will stay here with Bail," he answered her as he let Luke clutch at his index finger. "I will be taking Luke to Tatooine to stay with Owen and Beru Lars."

"When will you leave?"

"He can stay with you until his sixth month. Then, we will go."

Padmé put a hand over her mouth, struggling to remain calm. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears that she would not allow to spill over. Obi-Wan put Luke down in the bassinet next to his sister and went to stand behind Padmé.

"Only five and a half more months to go," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You're always sorry. I'm sick of sorry."

He had started to raise his arms to embrace her but at her words, they dropped uselessly to his sides.

"Why can't we just live our lives happily ever after?" she hissed bitterly. "We've already sacrificed so much, why must we give our last bit of happiness away? Obi-Wan, why can't I keep my son?"

"The danger is too great. We must protect them from Vader and together, their presence in the Force is too powerful. Much too powerful to risk it."

She whirled on him, grasping at the lapels of his tunic and forcing him to meet her eyes. "He will pay for this, I promise you that. I may not be alive to see it, but Vader will be punished for what he's done to us."

The vengeance that burned in her eyes made Obi-Wan take a step back.

Anakin, what have you done? he thought to his long-lost friend.

Padmé stared at the Jedi Master, her expression close to breaking. Her children would be separated and she may never see her son again. The one man she had been depending on for so long would be going with him. Her heartbreak over Anakin could not compare to the pain she was feeling now.

"I have to make every second count," she murmured, bowing her head and finally letting the tears fall.

He took her into his arms and she put her arms tightly around his waist, not wanting to ever let go. His tunic was coarse under her cheek but she welcomed the feel of it, not wanting to ever forget. His arms tightened around her, almost making it difficult to breathe, but she buried herself in him.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this," he whispered. "I would do anything to keep your family together, even if it means giving my life, but there's no other choice, Padmé. None at all."

"You're part of it, Obi-Wan. You're part of my family."

He gently framed her face with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the trails of tears on her cheeks. Bending down, he brushed his lips against hers, tasting the salt of her sadness. A sob escaped from her lips and she wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against him. He rested his head against her shoulder, closing his eyes.

"I love you, Padmé," he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

"I know," she responded, holding him. "I know."

A wall seemed to have come down between them since the day of Obi-Wan's admission. They had an unspoken agreement in which they would never speak of their emotions, neither wanting to complicate things anymore than they already were, but Obi-Wan had lost control in that one moment. He could almost see the time passing and knew he would never see her again. He had needed to say that, but now regretted it. Not only because it went against the code of the Jedi but also because she did not respond in kind. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a prideful man and his pride was hurt. So he was the cause of their rift.

He did not leave the cabin to meditate, but he mentally and emotionally disengaged himself. He no longer touched her or looked directly into her face. Padmé tried to reclaim their old camaraderie, but whenever she touched him, he would carefully slide out from under her hand, and move to the furthest corner of the room from her. Never in her life had she loved and hated someone so much.

She did love him, after all. It was not the burning, passionate love she had shared with Anakin, but a mature love that she could draw strength from and that kept her warm against the cold, harsh truth of reality. She loved Obi-Wan, but could not say it. Her anguish over Anakin had wrung her heart dry and she felt like she had nothing left to offer the Jedi Master. Anakin had been her soulmate, but Obi-Wan was her lifeline. She could not live without him anymore than she could live without...her heart.

After a fortnight of awkward silences and stilted conversation that left even Sabé uncomfortable, Padmé found herself silently watching Obi-Wan feed Luke. He was using the Force to ascertain when the twins were going to awaken and usually made it into Padmé's bedroom before they could start crying. He was stealthy, but her senses always picked him up, and she always woke while he was still there. It had become her habit to merely watch him tend to her children, and she drank in his every movement as if she would never see him again when he left the room.

Obi-Wan could feel her eyes on the back of his head, but refused to turn around. She wondered if she knew the affect she had on him. It unnerved him that she would watch him like that without saying a word, but could not blame her considering his behavior of late. He finished feeding Luke and after taking a deep, steadying breath, he turned to face her.

In the moonlight, her huge chocolate brown eyes beckoned to him. He started to speak, but she put a finger to her lips. She held her other hand out. He took it, knowing what just passed between them, and let her pull him down into bed. Their lips touched and held, saying what words could not. He drew the covers over them and let the rest of the night slip by, unnoticed.

Afterwards, when he held her sleeping form in his arms, her head pillowed on his shoulder, Obi-Wan could find no regret in his heart, only sorry that they had wasted so much time. Padmé had spoken wisely when she said that every second should count. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming dreams that he never thought he would ever have.