Chapter 3:
Fox trudged out of his Arwing in exhaustion. One thought bothered him. It was not Starwolf - no, he did not dwell on that thought. They could take over the whole of the ruined Venom for all he cared. It was something else. He has always enjoyed flying his Arwing. It made him feel strong, superior, needed. Yet, the victory over the assailants did little to dispel the depression that engulfed him. Silence returned like a dark predator, enveloping the Great Fox and what seemed like the rest of the universe into it's sickening loneliness, no matter how much Fox wanted it to be gone once and for all. He wanted silence when he left Corneria, but now it was silence that carved at his sanity.
Not knowing what to do, he returned to his seat at the head of the Great Fox, a dark corner where he retreated to and spent hours in thought. There was something he was not tackling properly – yes, it was the way he was handling his thoughts. What is wrong with me? he thought. What was the source of his depression?
Before he could think any further, he ordered Rob to show him the messages that were transmitted to him while he was sleeping. A small tap of a finger on the panel screen and the first message started to play.
"Fox, this is General Pepper again. Now I don't know why you hung up on me earlier, but I just want to know why you are doing this. You're putting yourself in danger, Fox. The areas around Venom are almost beyond our control, even though Andross is dead – we don't know what's happening around there, and… this is… ah forget it… it… it - this whole absurd thing - doesn't even make sense. Why leave us so suddenly? Well… if you're having trouble we could always talk… Pepper out," the general spoke his last words, his eyes telling Fox that he too, was tired. The screen blackened.
It was one of the few times Pepper ever dropped his guard. He only discards his authoritarian façade in front of his family and his closest friends. Indeed, Fox and Pepper knew each other well. After James McCloud's death, Pepper felt obliged to take care of his son. After all, he was a close friend with James, and as a general, he felt a special obligation to help the son of one of his few trusted elite, who served him so loyally until his last days. Heck, he was of the same generation as Peppy. Old people they were, but as some say, wisdom comes with age. Maybe his advice was right...
There was one more message awaiting him. He tapped the screen again. The familiar face of Falco appeared. What was he going to say? Lecture him some more? Falco hesitated and took a deep breath before speaking.
"Hey Fox, this is Falco, just thought I'd let you know, I'm leaving," Falco said calmly. Fox dropped his jaw, dumbfounded. There was a small pause on Falco's side.
"Didn't think I'd stay under your command for so long, huh Fox?" he chuckled coldly at the intercom. "Well I'm just here to say goodbye. Enough of this-this Starfox team. You think you can do whatever ya want huh? Just leaving like that? I've made myself pretty clear. I'm off," Falco turned his back to the camera, showing a bag hauled over his shoulder, then the screen went static. It was transmitted at the academy, at nighttime. Fox checked the upper left-hand corner of the screen for the time it was sent to him – 4:06 AM Cornerian.
Fox sunk back into his seat. He grabbed his forehead in his hands, claws digging into his flesh. He gritted his teeth, bending over.
"FUUUCKKKK!!!" Fox cried at the top of his lungs.
He let go of his head and launched himself from his seat, starting to punch the cold metal walls in feral fury. What a wretched bastard I am, Fox repeated in his mind. He felt weak. He felt like a frail old man – a soldier captured and imprisoned, isolated from his family and deprived of all his pride. Only a shadow of his former glory remained. He pounded until all the strength that remained in him was sapped from his fists. Panting, Fox leaned against the wall. Blood trickled from his knuckles, and the wall was stained in a rusty crimson, but he didn't care. Sliding down the wall, he plunked to the floor ungracefully. He leaned against the wall as if looking for counsel, but none was offered. Finally, Fox could do little but to bury his head in his arms and stare down dumbly.
What is the matter? he thought to himself. Nothing was going properly. He spent the next hour mulling over the thought of Falco's departure in his mind.
"We have arrived at Venom as you have directed, sir," Rob's voice echoed through the dark, empty halls of the Great Fox.
Fox growled tiredly at the disruption. He didn't feel like answering to anything.
"Await my orders," Fox's voice came faint and raspy.
"Roger,"
After sitting around for a while longer, he dragged himself to his feet. He has always wanted to come back to Venom for one reason that he did not quite realize until then. Once again, he climbed into the cockpit of his Arwing, this time more somberly. He wanted to find father here, as he had found him after defeating Andross. He strapped on the seat belt, and ordered the sealing of the vacuum chamber – all those procedures he was so familiar with. Slowly, he drifted into orbit around the planet and hovered over an opening on the surface on the rugged terrain. He studied the ruins. The gravitational field was too weak to pull him any closer. The pit led to Andross' base, once radiating with all the military might Andross held, now hollow, abandoned, ruined, and pitch black. Fox's survival instincts told him not to enter, but another part told him that he frankly didn't care if he died. He wanted to find father, and nothing could stop him. He began to recall the brief moments he was with his father. Yes, he could remember them all too clearly. He followed father until…until he vanished into the air outside the base. Fox never saw him since. Did he really saw his father's spirit?
Don't be silly, he told himself. Spirits, at this day and age? And he believed it? Fox covered his eyes with his hands, half resting his head on them as he broke into weak, pathetic laughter in self-scorn. Then what was it? Where was father? He couldn't have just disappeared like that, into thin air. Calm down and think, he told himself in his mind. There must be another explanation. Fox grunted, realizing that he has done just that for over a week.
Fox thought on while he hovered over the opening. He began to face the possibilities and the logics that he has unconsciously avoided for so long. If James was really alive, he would have contacted him. He would have came back to him, to live with him in Corneria, to give him guidance while he was studying at the academy, to… to care for him all the time he needed him in his lonely childhood… A glittering drop floated in front of him in the cockpit, like a drop of mercury. A single teardrop. He has not cried in a long time, since his orphanage in his childhood. He lost all feeling afterwards and never dealt with the death of his father bravely enough. Fox McCloud, the hero – the savior of Corneria, who never had the courage to face his losses.
His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently with his eyes buried in his paws. Teardrops rolled on, shaping a small cluster, like a shining constellation. He looked up to the photograph taped into his cockpit. Father, where are you? Father? Fox was tired and wanted to face his emotions no more. He was tired of this loneliness that still assaulted him relentlessly even as he was facing trouble. He felt like he was punched in the gut. Nausea took over him. At last, he headed back to the Great Fox. Fox told himself for the last time, Father is dead. His mind reeled. He did not know whether to accept it or not.
Fox trudged out of his Arwing in exhaustion. One thought bothered him. It was not Starwolf - no, he did not dwell on that thought. They could take over the whole of the ruined Venom for all he cared. It was something else. He has always enjoyed flying his Arwing. It made him feel strong, superior, needed. Yet, the victory over the assailants did little to dispel the depression that engulfed him. Silence returned like a dark predator, enveloping the Great Fox and what seemed like the rest of the universe into it's sickening loneliness, no matter how much Fox wanted it to be gone once and for all. He wanted silence when he left Corneria, but now it was silence that carved at his sanity.
Not knowing what to do, he returned to his seat at the head of the Great Fox, a dark corner where he retreated to and spent hours in thought. There was something he was not tackling properly – yes, it was the way he was handling his thoughts. What is wrong with me? he thought. What was the source of his depression?
Before he could think any further, he ordered Rob to show him the messages that were transmitted to him while he was sleeping. A small tap of a finger on the panel screen and the first message started to play.
"Fox, this is General Pepper again. Now I don't know why you hung up on me earlier, but I just want to know why you are doing this. You're putting yourself in danger, Fox. The areas around Venom are almost beyond our control, even though Andross is dead – we don't know what's happening around there, and… this is… ah forget it… it… it - this whole absurd thing - doesn't even make sense. Why leave us so suddenly? Well… if you're having trouble we could always talk… Pepper out," the general spoke his last words, his eyes telling Fox that he too, was tired. The screen blackened.
It was one of the few times Pepper ever dropped his guard. He only discards his authoritarian façade in front of his family and his closest friends. Indeed, Fox and Pepper knew each other well. After James McCloud's death, Pepper felt obliged to take care of his son. After all, he was a close friend with James, and as a general, he felt a special obligation to help the son of one of his few trusted elite, who served him so loyally until his last days. Heck, he was of the same generation as Peppy. Old people they were, but as some say, wisdom comes with age. Maybe his advice was right...
There was one more message awaiting him. He tapped the screen again. The familiar face of Falco appeared. What was he going to say? Lecture him some more? Falco hesitated and took a deep breath before speaking.
"Hey Fox, this is Falco, just thought I'd let you know, I'm leaving," Falco said calmly. Fox dropped his jaw, dumbfounded. There was a small pause on Falco's side.
"Didn't think I'd stay under your command for so long, huh Fox?" he chuckled coldly at the intercom. "Well I'm just here to say goodbye. Enough of this-this Starfox team. You think you can do whatever ya want huh? Just leaving like that? I've made myself pretty clear. I'm off," Falco turned his back to the camera, showing a bag hauled over his shoulder, then the screen went static. It was transmitted at the academy, at nighttime. Fox checked the upper left-hand corner of the screen for the time it was sent to him – 4:06 AM Cornerian.
Fox sunk back into his seat. He grabbed his forehead in his hands, claws digging into his flesh. He gritted his teeth, bending over.
"FUUUCKKKK!!!" Fox cried at the top of his lungs.
He let go of his head and launched himself from his seat, starting to punch the cold metal walls in feral fury. What a wretched bastard I am, Fox repeated in his mind. He felt weak. He felt like a frail old man – a soldier captured and imprisoned, isolated from his family and deprived of all his pride. Only a shadow of his former glory remained. He pounded until all the strength that remained in him was sapped from his fists. Panting, Fox leaned against the wall. Blood trickled from his knuckles, and the wall was stained in a rusty crimson, but he didn't care. Sliding down the wall, he plunked to the floor ungracefully. He leaned against the wall as if looking for counsel, but none was offered. Finally, Fox could do little but to bury his head in his arms and stare down dumbly.
What is the matter? he thought to himself. Nothing was going properly. He spent the next hour mulling over the thought of Falco's departure in his mind.
"We have arrived at Venom as you have directed, sir," Rob's voice echoed through the dark, empty halls of the Great Fox.
Fox growled tiredly at the disruption. He didn't feel like answering to anything.
"Await my orders," Fox's voice came faint and raspy.
"Roger,"
After sitting around for a while longer, he dragged himself to his feet. He has always wanted to come back to Venom for one reason that he did not quite realize until then. Once again, he climbed into the cockpit of his Arwing, this time more somberly. He wanted to find father here, as he had found him after defeating Andross. He strapped on the seat belt, and ordered the sealing of the vacuum chamber – all those procedures he was so familiar with. Slowly, he drifted into orbit around the planet and hovered over an opening on the surface on the rugged terrain. He studied the ruins. The gravitational field was too weak to pull him any closer. The pit led to Andross' base, once radiating with all the military might Andross held, now hollow, abandoned, ruined, and pitch black. Fox's survival instincts told him not to enter, but another part told him that he frankly didn't care if he died. He wanted to find father, and nothing could stop him. He began to recall the brief moments he was with his father. Yes, he could remember them all too clearly. He followed father until…until he vanished into the air outside the base. Fox never saw him since. Did he really saw his father's spirit?
Don't be silly, he told himself. Spirits, at this day and age? And he believed it? Fox covered his eyes with his hands, half resting his head on them as he broke into weak, pathetic laughter in self-scorn. Then what was it? Where was father? He couldn't have just disappeared like that, into thin air. Calm down and think, he told himself in his mind. There must be another explanation. Fox grunted, realizing that he has done just that for over a week.
Fox thought on while he hovered over the opening. He began to face the possibilities and the logics that he has unconsciously avoided for so long. If James was really alive, he would have contacted him. He would have came back to him, to live with him in Corneria, to give him guidance while he was studying at the academy, to… to care for him all the time he needed him in his lonely childhood… A glittering drop floated in front of him in the cockpit, like a drop of mercury. A single teardrop. He has not cried in a long time, since his orphanage in his childhood. He lost all feeling afterwards and never dealt with the death of his father bravely enough. Fox McCloud, the hero – the savior of Corneria, who never had the courage to face his losses.
His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently with his eyes buried in his paws. Teardrops rolled on, shaping a small cluster, like a shining constellation. He looked up to the photograph taped into his cockpit. Father, where are you? Father? Fox was tired and wanted to face his emotions no more. He was tired of this loneliness that still assaulted him relentlessly even as he was facing trouble. He felt like he was punched in the gut. Nausea took over him. At last, he headed back to the Great Fox. Fox told himself for the last time, Father is dead. His mind reeled. He did not know whether to accept it or not.