I Promise

by J0

COMPLETE! R for sex, language, violence. Steve meets CG's new surgeon at a fundraiser & falls in love. He's shot, she becomes his Dr. & tries to put their relationship on hold. He recovers, & they start over. Will nightmares from her past end it all?

36. Fun and Games

Chapter 36. (February 5. Still in Pennsylvania.)

"I'm not going to talk about it, May."

It was only seven. May had called, frantic, to say that she had just heard about the incident at the club last night.

"He was there then he was gone," Liv said. "Steve and I are watching each other's backs, and that's the end of it…Not another word about it, May…A game?…Against Saint Mary's? That will be a good one…He called you to ask me to sing?…Wow…Ok, May, tell him I'll do it…Yeah…Sounds good. We'll meet you at the diner around five and then we can all go over to the game together…Uh-huh…Love you, too…Bye."

Liv hung up the phone and turned to Steve. "The day is ours, babe, then we're meeting May and Jud for dinner before we go to the basketball game. We have to get there early because I'm singing, and it's a big game. Is there anything you'd particularly like to do today?"

Steve stretched and scratched his head.

"I don't know. What did you have planned?"

"Nothing." Liv thought a moment. "It's supposed to be a nice day. Maybe we can go somewhere."

"Like where?"

"Well, there's a railroad museum in Altoona, and a model railroad museum in Gibsonia. I know you're interested in trains. If we go to Gibsonia, we'll be just outside of Pittsburgh and we can always find more to do in the city. Altoona's kind of a one-horse town. When we finished the museum, the only thing left to do would be come back here. They're both about two hours away. Penn State's about two and a half hours. I know they have an art museum and an anthropology museum and the best ice cream in the world. It's been a while since I've been there, but it might be cool to visit."

"Let me think about it a little, sweetie," Steve said. "Why don't you get your shower, and I'll decide before you're done."

Liv shrugged, "Ok, whatever. But remember, we're talking four or five hours on the road if we go anywhere, and we *have* to be back by five."

"I know, I know. I'll be ready to go wherever by eight."

Steve had already decided they'd go to Penn State the moment he'd seen Liv's eyes light up when she mentioned it. He'd make sure they went to one of the railroad museums another day, but now, he just wanted her out of the room. He picked up the phone and called information.

When the operator asked for a name and city, he said, "Judson and May Stephens, Punxsutawney."

The operator found the number and connected the call.

"Stephens's," May's voice answered cheerfully.

"Hi, May, it's Steve Sloan."

"Oh, hey, Steve! I was just talking to Livvie. What's up?"

"She's in the shower and I have to talk fast. This is a secret, ok?"

"O-o-o-ok," May said cautiously, not knowing what she was getting into.

"Considering Liv's past with your son, I'll understand if you say no, but I'm really hoping you'll say yes."

"To what?"

"Well, a while ago, Liv and I were talking about marriage. She stopped me before I could actually ask the question, though, because she felt she still had too many secrets she was hiding from me. After visiting the site of the fire and seeing what happened last night, I want to be with her more than ever. I want to always be there for her, whatever happens."

"So you're planning to propose soon."

"I hope so, but if she's not ready, or if she's having second thoughts about me, I don't want to put her in the situation of having to say no. I'm actually afraid she might say yes to something she doesn't really want just to spare my feelings."

The water shut off, and Steve listened carefully as she started running the blow dryer. He figured he had about three minutes.

May sighed. "Steve, if she doesn't marry you, I will. That is the most sensitive thing I have ever heard a man say. What do you want me to do?"

Steve grinned into the phone and said, "Talk to her tonight at the game. I'll make sure Jud and I go get some snacks or something. Find out if she'll say yes and give me some kind of a sign. If I don't see it, I won't ask her."

May said, "Ok, I can do that, and I'll make sure Jud knows he's supposed to leave when you ask him to join you."

Steve heard the blow dryer shut off in the bathroom. "Thanks, May. She's done in the bathroom. Gotta go. Bye."

He hung up before she could respond, but he guessed she'd understand.

Steve climbed out of the bed, shucked his pajamas, and slipped his robe on. He was headed into the bathroom as Olivia came out fully dressed, and he engulfed her in an enormous bear hug. As she drew back from the hug, she laughed at him and asked, "What was that for?"

"I just find you irresistible. I've decided I'd like to go to the college. It sounds like there's a lot we can do there without having to drive too far or fight city traffic. We can save the train museums for another day when we're not so pressed for time."

"Ok. I'll fix breakfast while you shower. Meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

Steve turned the shower on before going to the secret passage Liv had showed him. It took him a moment to figure out how to get it open, but then he carefully and quietly crept down the ladder to the basement. Going through the basement to the wine cellar, he went straight to the green racks and chose a nice champagne. He had to hand it to Meyer Goldstein, even the stuff he considered cheap and 'for drinking' was expensive. Steve never would have been comfortable purchasing the bottle he hoped to share with Liv that night.

At the bar in the rumpus room, he got two champagne flutes and an ice bucket before sprinting back through the basement. He hadn't considered how he was going to carry his prizes back to the bedroom, and as he struggled up the ladder, each item nearly went crashing back to the basement at least once. His trophies safely tucked away in the fridge in the gym, he called May again and arranged for Jud to pick up a dozen roses and hide them away with the champagne and glasses. He promised he'd come up with a good excuse to give them to Liv if May told him it was a bad time to propose.

Finally, he jumped in the shower, soaped and rinsed in ten seconds flat (which was no challenge because the water had gone cold), dried his hair, brushed his teeth, threw on some clothes, and was downstairs in under five minutes.

The visit to Penn State was a lot of fun, but Steve had to admit, seeing so many young people all in one place made him feel old. Because of her diminutive size and boundless energy, however, Liv fit right in, and that made Steve feel even older. The campus was gorgeous and sprawling, and Liv was a veritable font of information. They parked near the HUB, which Liv said was an acronym for the Hetzel Union Building, and headed west with Liv spewing Penn State facts all the way.

"One in eight Pennsylvania college graduates one in 122 Americans with a college degree is a Penn State alum. With almost 150,000 active members, the Penn State Alumni Association is the largest dues-paying alumni organization in the nation."

"Are you a member?"

"Yep." She took out her wallet and said, "See my card?"

"This place is enormous, Liv."

She laughed and started babbling again. "At any one time, the Pennsylvania State University System has over 80,000 full- and part-time students, and over half of them are right here at University Park. The College of Medicine enrolls five to six hundred students, and The Dickinson School of Law about five hundred and fifty. The Pennsylvania School of Technology has five or six thousand students, and the rest are distributed among some twenty other campuses throughout the state. Penn State gets about 40,000 first year applicants every fall."

Impressed with the figures, Steve gave a low whistle of appreciation.

They had walked through the HUB and out the other side. As the walked past a post office on the ground floor of a classroom building, she said, "Oh, Mike the Mailman's still here! We'll have to buy a postcard and mail it to your dad."

"I take it this Mike is someone special?"

"He's an institution. Makes people feel at home. He's wonderful."

They walked up the small hill by the post office and turned onto Pollock Road. As they strolled along, she told him more about the school.

Indicating the building to their left, she said. "That's Old Main, the main administrative building. The original was completed in 1863. A fire partially destroyed the roof in 1892, but the damage was repaired. Eventually, the building was declared uninhabitable, and it was torn down in 1929. This building opened in 1930."

"You really love this place, don't you?"

"Yeah. It was probably the happiest time in my life…"

"Oh?"

"…until I met you."

"Oh."

By this time, they had passed Old Main, and she was prattling on about something else. Steve just admired the scenery and nodded and smiled, enjoying her company and the unexpectedly warm day.

"Schwab Auditorium. I had 1,000 students in my freshman psych class here."

"Sounds like you were just another number, huh?"

"In some ways, yeah, I guess so."

Suddenly, Olivia stopped. An odd expression crossed her face, and she whispered, "My God, he's still here."

She seemed so overcome that Steve reached for his weapon, fearing that Ted had somehow followed them to the college, but she put a hand on his arm and grinned.

"No, Steve, just listen. Do you hear him?"

"Him who, Liv?"

"Listen! Hear that voice?"

Steve listened, and after a moment, he heard a high pitched male voice shouting, "If you spend your time here fornicating and getting drunk instead of seeking out God and doing his will, you're going to hell."

"Are you talking about the crazy guy yelling about going to hell?"

Liv laughed, and said, "He's not crazy. He's called the Willard Preacher because he preaches at Willard Building. He's been there since before I was a student. Arguing with him is one of the top twenty-five things to do at Penn State."

"You've got to be kidding."

"Actually, I've gone several rounds with him myself. Never did win, but a couple of times we had decent conversations and he actually taught me a thing or two."

"He ought to be locked up for being a public nuisance."

Olivia gave him a quizzical look and said, "He's protected under the First Amendment, and he's not hurting anyone, Steve."

By now the man was ranting about homosexuals and fornicators. "After what we've been doing in your bed, and after the stand you took last night, are you telling me you're ok with what he's saying?"

"Not exactly, Steve," she said softly, trying to soothe him. "But everything he's saying is in the Bible, and unless you're going to burn the constitution, he's got the right to say it."

"So, you believe the lesbian friend you defended last night is going to hell, huh?"

"I don't know, but if you want to stop tearing me a new butt-hole and listen for a minute, I can tell you what I do believe."

"What's that?"

"I believe Chris is violating Old Testament laws. So are we. We have chosen to sin. The spirit is willing, I guess, but the flesh is weak."

Steve threw his hands in the air and started to walk away. "I can't believe I'm hearing this."

Olivia chased after him and grabbed one of his arms. "LET ME FINISH!"

She was so adamant that Steve froze in his tracks. "Do you honestly believe our relationship is sinful?"

"Promise me you'll stay right here and hear me out until I tell you I'm finished?"

He nodded.

"The Olivia that you know, the one who's traveled Europe and lived in Pittsburgh, New York, Chicago, and Baltimore and now LA, the Olivia who had to shoot one of her best friends in self defense on two different occasions, the Olivia who's been going to bed with you every night, can't imagine how what we're doing could be wrong between two consenting adults, especially when it feels so very right. She can't believe it could be a sin for two people to make each other so happy and love each other so much. She figures if God really has a problem with it, then it's up to him to do something about it."

"I see."

"I'm *not* finished."

He waited.

"But there's another Olivia, Steve. She's still inside me, and she will not be deceived. She went to a little white Methodist church in the woods, and she prepared devotions for the youth ministry. She sang in the choir, volunteered in the nursing home, bussed tables at the church dinners, and read the Bible for her daddy from cover to cover. She buried her whole family on a lonely, windswept hilltop, and planted weeping willows down by the river in their memory. Because of the way she was raised, that Olivia fervently believes that the Bible is the word of God and that God says what we are doing is wrong."

Steve started to argue that the Bible was over two thousand years old and certain things could not possibly apply to life in the new millennium, but she covered his mouth and insisted, "I AM NOT FINISHED."

He closed his mouth.

"'For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away. But the word of the Lord endureth forever.' 1 Peter 1:24-25. Steve, what we are and what we want is temporary, but the law of God is eternal."

She ran her fingers through her wild curls and sighed. Clearly, she was getting herself lost in her own arguments. She closed her eyes, pressed her palms together, and placed fingertips against her lips. Taking a deep breath, she held it a moment, exhaled, and looked at him. All the confusion was gone from her eyes.

"I cannot reconcile both sets of beliefs, Steve. I don't try. But I have found one thing that works here and now, and for the person I was twenty years ago. 1 John 1:9. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.'"

Steve didn't try to interrupt this time.

"I know you, Steve, because I see myself in you. Sex isn't just for fun; it's forever. It's love. We wouldn't be together if we didn't expect it to last. When we admit that we put the cart before the horse and ask for forgiveness, God will say, 'You are forgiven.' He knows we're human, he knows we're flawed, and if we admit it, he will forgive us. Always."

After a pause she said, "I'm finished now."

"That works for you?"

She nodded.

"What about the thirteen-year-old Olivia who did four shots of tequila in fifteen minutes and puked in a flower pot? Where does she fit in? And how does the Olivia who tried to commit suicide four times justify her actions, or the Olivia who helped drywall over the drama teacher's door?"

The Olivia who stood before him tapped her chest, shrugged, and said, "They're all in here, too. I guess they were all stops along the way from the white church in the woods to the house in Brentwood. But the forgiveness thing works for them, too."

Steve looked at her hard and said, "I don't know if I can share your beliefs, Liv. I don't know if I believe in a kind, gentle, loving, and forgiving God. Sometimes I'm not sure I believe in God at all. Where does that leave us?"

She led him over to the north side of the building and sat beside him on the steps.

"Do you pray?"

"Sometimes."

"For what?"

"Strength…guidance…patience…help…and protection."

"And you pray to whom? Smokey the Bear? The Keebler Elf?"

Steve gave her a lopsided grin. "No."

She caressed his face, and said, "So, you pray to God. Do you believe he'll answer, or is it just for something to do?"

"I guess when I pray…I'm looking for some kind of…help."

"Like a lightning bolt, or a parting of the waters, perhaps a bush that burns but is not consumed?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Something subtle."

"I see, and have you ever gotten what you asked for? Have you gotten through a difficult time when you prayed for strength? Have you survived a dangerous situation when you prayed for protection?"

"Well, yeah."

"So, does prayer work?"

He could see where her logic was headed, but it wasn't that easy for him. "How do I know it might not have happened anyway, even if I didn't pray about it?"

"You don't, but you believed it was possible, so you prayed. You do believe, Steve. It's natural to have doubts, sometimes. But deep down you believe."

"Ok, so I believe in God, but not like you do. So, I'm still wondering where that leaves us."

"You believe in God."

"Yeah."

"If we had kids, would you let me take them to church?"

"Sure. I went to church when I was a kid, and I think it's good for kids to have a moral upbringing."

"Would you come with us?"

His answer was slower in coming, but he agreed. "I…suppose. If it was a place where I felt comfortable."

She laughed and said, "Trust me, Steve, there's a church for everybody. Would you let me teach them my beliefs?"

He gave her another of his lopsided grins and, jerking his head in the direction of the Willard Preacher, said, "As long as it doesn't sound like him."

"Well, then," Olivia said thoughtfully, "I think that leaves us right back where we were ten minutes ago."

By some silent agreement, they let the argument drop. They listened to the angry diatribe for a few moments before heading up the tree-lined mall. "These are American elms," she said, indicating the trees. Pointing to the building straight ahead, Liv said, "That's Pattee Library. There's a room in the basement that has five walls."

"A pentagon?"

"No. It's a regular square room, but it's got a low ceiling and the shelves are less than two feet apart. A shelf in the corner by the door acts like a partition and blocks access to the exit. I'm a little claustrophobic, and once I lost my bearings in there. I was proud of myself for not panicking. I just went to a corner, and when I couldn't find the door, I went to the next corner, and the next, and so on. When I hit the fourth corner I got scared, because the room was square."

Steve laughed, "What did you do?"

"I went back the other way, hit the fourth corner, and started to hyperventilate. Then I freaked, started running along the wall, and finally found the exit. I ran out to the landing by the stairwell, collapsed on the floor, and started to cry. Somebody spotted me, and called the campus cops. The guy who came was very nice. At first, he thought I'd been attacked, but when I explained what happened, he didn't laugh. Instead, he took me back inside, and led me around the room to show me what had confused me. I held his hand the whole time."

Looking at Steve, Olivia noted an apologetic expression on his face.

"What's the matter, babe?"

"I just laughed at you about that. I'm sorry."

Now it was Liv's turn to be amused. "Oh, for goodness sake. It's a funny story. It was years ago, and I'm not traumatized any more. I told it to amuse you."

Steve smiled. "Ok, so I'm allowed to laugh."

She winked and said, "Yes, but not too much."

Next, she took him to the Nittany Lion Shrine, and lectured him about it.

"The Nittany Lion mascot originated at a baseball game against Princeton in the early 1900's. Penn State's team was shown a statue of Princeton's Bengal tiger to intimidate them. Since Penn State had no mascot, one of the Penn State players made up the Nittany Lion on the spot. In just a few years it became so popular, it was adopted as the mascot without there ever being an official vote. The Nittany Lion is just a mountain lion, but the 'Nittany' before it gave Penn State a symbol all it's own. The Nittany Lion statue is sculpted from a block of Indiana limestone. The shrine is the most photographed site on the campus."

She pulled out a disposable camera and had Steve climb up on the statue, assuring him that it was allowed. After taking his picture, she had him snap a couple of her posing with the statue. Then she flagged down a passing student and had him take several of the two of them together.

As they were posing, she told him another story. "One year, before a game against the Syracuse Orangemen, somebody painted the statue bright orange. Rumor has it, JoePa's wife, Sue, and the other coaches wives did it because there was some concern that the team was getting overconfident and would lose the game. Of course, it's completely unconfirmed."

After the shrine, they went to the anthropology museum, which was interesting enough. Then they toured the Palmer Museum of art, which clearly enthralled Olivia. "I wish I had that kind of talent," she said breathlessly.

"Liv, you are a doctor, a singer, a musician, a songwriter, a mechanic, an inventor, a clothing designer, a gourmet cook, a gardener, a marksman, and a self-defense expert. What more do you want?"

With a grin she said, "I want it all, babe."

Steve just laughed at her and shook his head.

After the art museum, they strolled along a wide, quiet street to the Creamery.

Liv told him, "Ben and Jerry, the ice cream guys from Vermont, learned to make ice cream at a Penn State workshop."

"No kidding?"

Liv found them a table in the far corner while Steve paid for two cones. Liv got some kind of chocolate concoction, but Steve tried one of the other flavors, something with fruit and nuts in it, the name of which he promptly forgot. He thought the ice cream was ok, but nothing earth shattering. Of course, he knew better than to share that opinion with Liv.

"Can I taste some of yours?" she asked.

"Sure, here." He took another bite and held the cone out to her. She took it from him, but instead of tasting the cone, she surprised him with a deep, breathtaking kiss.

"Mmmmm, delicious," she purred, and grinned impishly at Steve, whom she had left panting from lack of oxygen.

"You are incorrigible," he told her when he finally got his breath back.

"I know. And you want to taste mine, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah." Steve was surprised at himself. Not only were they in a public establishment but both walls were also mostly windows. Anyone on the street could look in and see them. Usually, he wasn't one for public displays of affection, but Olivia had already gotten the best of him. He wasn't about to back down from the challenge.

She took a bite of her chocolate cone, and leaned forward for a kiss. He kissed her long and deep, exploring and tasting until his world narrowed to the taste of her and the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. Only when his vision grew dark and stars danced before his eyes did he break off, succumbing to the desperate need for air.

Olivia sat across from him, a bit flushed, her full lips looking red, moist, and well kissed. Steve was surprised to see that she was breathing almost normally.

"Damned yoga," he muttered, still short of breath.

"It comes in handy sometimes. I could do this all afternoon."

"I wouldn't advise it," came a nearby voice.

Both Olivia and Steve blushed furiously, and, since Steve was still catching his breath, Olivia was left to respond to the campus police officer approaching their table.

She smiled sweetly and said, "I'm sorry officer. Just because I could doesn't mean I would. It's kind of like tag, you see. I got him, he got me, and since there's no one else playing, that's pretty much the end of it. We'll save the rest for later." Looking at her watch, she added, "We should be going anyway. It's almost 2:00 and we have to be back in Punxsutawney by five."

The cop looked thoughtful for a moment and said, "Just see that you two behave yourselves as long as you're here. I swear I don't know what gets into you alumni when you get on campus. You act worse than you ever did as students."

Liv shrugged and offered, "Nostalgia?"

The cop laughed aloud and said, "Maybe. Now I think it's time for the two of you to get a move on."

Steve finally spoke. "We certainly will, sir, and thank you."

They left the Creamery and walked down the hill toward the bookstore, trading licks from their ice cream cones instead of kisses. Soon a blue and white bus passed them, and Olivia snapped her fingers and said, "We should have taken the Campus Loop. You could have seen everything in half an hour. We'll just have to do that another time."

At the bookstore, they bought some postcards. Steve chose one of the Nittany Lion Shrine to send his dad, and others of Old Main and the Mall for Jesse and Amanda. He didn't see what Liv bought, and when he asked her, she said mysteriously, "It's a surprise."

This time, instead of going straight through the HUB, they went up to the main floor and walked through a small display of student artwork. Finding some comfortable seats in one of the lounges, they filled out the postcards. On the other side of the building, they walked downstairs and came out at the post office.

As Steve paid for his three postcards, the man at the counter asked, "You from LA, Steve?"

Steve grinned, knowing the man had seen his signature on the back of the cards. "Yeah, how'd you guess, Mike?"

Mike grinned back and said, "I just have a way of knowing. What brings you here, especially in February?"

Steve jerked his head toward Olivia and said, "My girlfriend."

Mike took Olivia's postcard, glanced at it, took her payment, and said, "Olivia Regis. I remember you. You always used to have lunch across the street with the really, really tall guy and the guy with the buzz cut, didn't you? And one or another of you was always sending something off or getting something from home."

"That's me, Mike. You have a heck of a memory. I haven't been here since '85."

"Well, some people are just unforgettable. Besides, you always shared your cookies. Welcome back." Looking at Steve, he said, "You got a good one, Steve. Take care of her and don't let her slip away."

Steve blushed slightly and said, "Oh, I have no intention of losing her, ever."

They took the sidewalk along the south side of the HUB to get back to the parking garage. On the way, she pointed out a large red sculpture and said, "That's F.R.O.H." The name rhymed with toe.

"Who?"

"No, what. It's the Fighting Red Onion Head."

Steve took another look and said, "I see the onion. I get it. Is that what it's really called?"

"No, but nobody knows the real name. It's based on a photograph of a Spanish mill worker falling in action during the Spanish Civil War. They put it up in '88. I'd already left, but I kept up with events on campus and it caused quite a stir. A lot of people make fun of it and vandalize it, and the Undergraduate Student Government even passed a resolution to have it removed. It seems a little out of place, but I don't think it's offensive, do you?"

Steve paused to study it a moment and shuddered. "No, I don't think it's offensive, but it kinda gives me the willies. I've seen guys shot down in war and on the streets. The sculptor got it right."

Olivia gasped quietly, and while she didn't say anything, she did slip her hand into his and give it a comforting squeeze.

Back in the jeep, she looked at her watch and said, "Twenty after two." She handed Steve a twenty-dollar bill and, starting the engine, said, "I want to get some stickies for breakfast tomorrow. If I drop you off at Ye Olde College Diner and circle the block, will you go in and buy two boxes?"

"What are stickies?"

"Just ask for them and someone will take care of you."

Steve shrugged. "OK."

Ten minutes later, stickies in hand, Steve sprinted out of the diner and around the jeep. Climbing in he said, "You could have just told me sticky buns, Liv."

"Oh, but they're not the same. You'll know what I mean tomorrow morning."

As they drove out of town, Olivia asked, "Do you mind if I take the back roads home? It's been a warm day, and they should be clear. It's beautiful country."

Steve asked, "Do you have your cell phone? If we get stuck, we can call Jud and May and let them know we're running late."

Liv nodded.

"Then I don't see why we can't take the scenic route."

Liv was right about the countryside, it was gorgeous. Steve couldn't believe the amount of wildlife he saw. He lost count of the deer. They saw a group of ducks and geese that Liv said had probably wintered at one of the nearby farms. Liv suspected that the red fox they saw was rabid, and when Steve asked why, she explained that they were shy, nocturnal creatures, and one normally wouldn't come so close to a road in daylight unless something was wrong.

"Of course, it could just be really hungry," she admitted. "The snow is kind of deep around here, and it has probably been a hard winter."

A few miles down the road, she stopped and put on her four way flashers to let Steve watch a black bear and its cub for a few minutes. She laughed softly as he pressed his face to the window and watched with childlike wonder.

"Shouldn't they be hibernating?" he asked softly.

"Not necessarily. We've had a few warm days in a row, and they probably came out looking for food." With a chuckle, she asked, "Have you ever seen a bear before?"

He shook his head, never looking away. "Not like this. Not this close in the wild. How old do you think the baby is, Liv?"

"I doubt if it's more than a year. It's too small to be two, and mothers don't let them stick around much longer than that."

"They don't look nearly as fierce as your rug."

"Generally they aren't, Steve. They're very gentle creatures, and mostly vegetarian. If they eat meat, it's usually something they've scavenged in the woods or in someone's garbage, but they might catch a fish or a frog or two. Jud has pictures of one his brothers hand feeding a wild cub while the mama watched."

He laughed a little and said, "They look like great big teddy bears."

"They're not quite that cuddly. A mama won't defend a cub like a grizzly does, but you should keep your distance anyway."

Steve nodded to indicate he heard her, but he had nothing left to say. He was totally absorbed in bear-watching.

A couple minutes later, a car heading the other direction came around the curve and scared the animals off into the woods. Steve sighed deeply and sat back in his seat. Olivia cut the flashers and drove on.

They rode in silence for several minutes before she said, "Left you speechless, did they?"

"Huh? Oh. That was amazing, Liv! I have never seen anything like that. They're so beautiful. Are they smart?"

"They're one of the smarter mammals, yeah, and pretty adaptable, too."

"I have *got* to tell Dad about this. It was incredible…"

Steve rambled for several minutes about the bears, and Olivia just smiled and chuckled to herself about his enthusiasm. It was her turn to relax and enjoy his company.

She had been right about the roads, and they pulled into the diner at five minutes before five. Steve had fallen asleep, and he slowly stirred awake when he sensed the motion of the car had stopped.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?" he asked, somewhat chagrinned.

"If you can fall asleep sitting up in the jeep on the back roads, you need the rest. Besides, it will be late before we get home."

She fished a box of stickies out of the back seat and said, "Let's go. Jud and May are probably waiting."

The diner was already bustling, and some of the same faces were there, in the same places they occupied at breakfast a few days earlier. Steve finally got to meet Judi, the waitress he and Liv had filled in for a few days ago. She was a pretty blonde with high cheekbones and full, red lips. When she came to wait on them, she gave Liv a hug and shook Steve's hand. Liv gave May the box of stickies she had brought, and May asked Steve if he had tried any. When he said no, she said, "Just you wait."

While they enjoyed their meals, hamburgers and French fries all around, Liv and Steve told them about their day. She talked about their debate over the Willard Preacher and, at her urging, he blushingly gave them a very toned down version of the incident with the police officer.

"Hah!" Jud laughed, "If he came over to talk to you, it was no peck on the cheek you were exchanging. There was some serious necking going on."

"JUD!" May and Liv both scolded him.

Eyes alight, he said, "Ladies?"

Changing the subject, Liv said with a wink, "Tell them about the bears, Steve."

Steve told them about the bears until their eyes glazed over. He had absorbed every detail, and delighted in reliving it as he told his friends all about it. Suddenly realizing that their attention had wandered, he said lamely, "Uh, sorry. I've just never seen one before, so it's a big deal to me. I imagine you see them all the time."

He blushed and looked self-consciously at his plate.

May made him feel at ease.

"It's all right, son. We do see a lot of them, and they're becoming a regular nuisance around here." Smiling, she finished, "But they are beautiful, aren't they?"

Steve nodded. "The fur was so shiny and it looked so soft."

After finishing their meals, the four of them walked over to the high school. Steve and Olivia walked ahead, and Jud and May came behind them, keeping a discreet distance to allow the lovers some privacy. May pointed out that they were holding hands. Jud said he'd noticed it all through dinner. He agreed that they made a good couple.

The game didn't start for another hour, but the public address system had to be adjusted and Liv had to warm up before she sang. Steve sat with Jud and May for about half an hour, and met a number of Liv's other friends and some of her teachers while she tested the sound system. He was not surprised to find she was widely admired. When she was finished, she sat beside him and took his hand.

"Liv, your fingers are like ice."

"I'm a little nervous, Steve. It's been almost twenty years."

"I heard you last night. You were perfect. You'll be fine."

"If Mr. Jenkins will let me use the music room to practice, will you come with me?"

"Sure."

They went in search of the principal, but found the choir director first.

"Mr. Shelley? Remember me?"

A robust, bearded man in his late fifties turned around and said, "By the Muse, of course I do! Olivia, how are you?"

She giggled and said, "Nervous. Did they tell you I'm singing tonight?"

"Yes, yes, they did. And you want to rehearse, don't you?"

"Yes, sir, if I may."

"Come along, come along, and do remember your manners, child. Who is you friend?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Steve Sloan, Mr. James Shelley. Mr. Shelley is the one who first got me to sing the National Anthem. The machine had chewed up the tape while they were testing the system at the football field, and they couldn't get another copy in time for the game. He hunted me down and took me to the broadcast booth, and for the next four years I sang at every home football and basketball game."

"And she did it remarkably well, too," Mr. Shelley added as he let them in the music room. "Olivia, do you mind if I stay?"

"Would you, sir? I'd appreciate an informed and objective opinion."

He sat at the piano and plunked out a few notes for her. She found her starting note and launched into a rousing rendition of 'God Bless America.'

Mr. Shelley told her reverently, "Your voice has matured, Olivia. If you ever leave medicine, I have a few friends who could get you some auditions. All you need is a foot in the door and you could be a sensation."

Olivia blushed and said, "Can we do 'The Star Spangled Banner' now?"

"Of course, dear. A cappella."

She found her note, and began.

Starting low and soft, she evoked the trepidation Francis Scott Key must have felt when he was being detained by the British during their attack on Fort McHenry and the battle in Baltimore. Steve could sense her pride as she sang about watching the flag at twilight. He could imagine Key and his companions watching in fear and shock from the deck of their ship. Surely, they were frightened, but they must also have been proud of their countrymen who fought so bravely for their freedom. Olivia's voice shifted to hope as she sang of how the flag was still visible in the light of every explosion throughout the night, and when she sang of the 'land of the free and the home of the brave', Steve could hear elation ringing in her voice. As the sun rose that morning, Key had seen the flag, still waving proudly over the scene of the battle.

Mr. Shelley applauded when Liv finished, and Steve had to swallow a lump in his throat.

With tears in his eyes, Mr. Shelley sighed, "I have missed that for so long. Do what you did here, and you will be perfect. Just remember not to swallow the microphone."

"Yes, sir."

Looking at her watch, Liv said, "It's almost time for the girl's game. We'd better hurry."

The gym wasn't full yet, and Steve easily found room beside Jud and May near the front. Olivia went directly to the microphone and waited until the announcer introduced her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a very special treat for you. Reviving a tradition that goes back twenty years, Miss Olivia Margaret Regis will be singing 'God Bless America' to start off the girls game tonight. Please rise at this time for the posting of the colors."

Four JROTC cadets marched out carrying the American Flag and another flag Steve couldn't quite identify because the folds obscured the design. When they halted the announcer cued Olivia, and she stepped back from the mike, clearly remembering Mr. Shelley's advice, and began to sing. If anything, she sounded better than she had in the music room. When she was finished, there was a moment of silence, which suddenly exploded into cheers, whistles, and perhaps thirty people shouting, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," at the top of their lungs.

Steve had to laugh. She had her own fan club. She slowly made her way to him, getting handshakes, hugs, and welcomes home from a number of people in the crowd. When she sat beside him, she automatically took his hand, and he felt proud to be the guest of someone who was so well loved.



The girls' team crushed the visitors eighty-eight to thirty, and in the last minute of the game, Steve asked Jud to join him at the concession stand. Knowing Steve's intention, Jud gladly obliged and allowed May and Liv time to talk.

"Olivia?"

"Hmm?" Liv was distracted. In a few minutes, she had to sing again and she was getting nervous.

"You like Steve a lot, don't you?"

Liv smiled sweetly and said, "Yes, I do."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Are you two a serious couple? Are you planning to get married?"

Liv sighed, folded her arms, and shrugged. May recognized that as a sign of Olivia's reluctance to talk. Knowing she had only a few minutes to accomplish her mission, May decided to press the issue.

"You know, Jud and I really like him."

Beaming, Liv asked, "Do you?"

May nodded. "He's a good man, and he worships the ground you walk on. Has he asked you yet?"

"He tried to, May, but I stopped him before he could."

"What on earth for, child?"

"I'd told him about Ted and Keith, but he didn't know about the fire, then, or about Grandpa Henry beating me. I didn't want him to say something he'd want to take back. That's why I brought him here. So I could tell him everything, then he could decide if he really wanted to ask me."

May prodded gently. "Have you told him everything?"

Liv nodded and looked up through lowered lashes.

"And if he asks again, what will you say?"

"Yes."

May gave a big smile. Liv's answer came without hesitation. She knew a certain young man would be very happy tonight.

"Then I hope he asks you soon."

"I'm not so sure he will, May."

"Why not?"

"Well…" Olivia hesitated, "I freaked out on him at the homestead, and I fainted when Ted showed up at Boots. That argument today about the Willard Preacher seemed to take him by surprise. I'm not sure he likes what he's learned about me the past few days."

May patted her shoulder, and, trying to hide the laughter of one who gets an inside joke, said, "Honey, if he doesn't, then he's a fool, and believe me, that man's mama didn't raise no fool."

Olivia looked at May and said, "Thanks. That makes me feel better, even if I think you are wrong."





At the concession, Jud and Steve were discussing similar matters, but being men, they had considerably less to say about it.

"May says you want to marry Livvie."

"Yes, sir," Steve answered guardedly. He hadn't asked Jud's blessing or permission because he was afraid the man would deny it in a bid to protect his son.

"How do your folks feel about her?"

"My mom passed away several years ago, but my dad, my sister, and my closest friends adore her. All my friends like her."

Jud nodded. "I know you haven't asked, but May and I think rather highly of you, too, son. We can tell you love her, and we know you'll be good to her."

Taking a deep breath, Steve said, "I know I should have asked sooner, but does that mean I have your blessing."

"Yep."



Steve and Jud got back to their seats just in time for the national anthem. After their conversation, Steve had sprinted back to the jeep and gotten the ring out of the glove compartment. He showed it to Jud in the lobby and briefly told him about having it and the necklace made to match the watch. Jud was suitably impressed and when they took their seats, he thanked Steve for showing him the ring.

"May will want to know what it looks like," he whispered in Steve's ear, "and she'll pester me until I tell her." With a naughty grin, he said, "I may even get a little action out of it tonight."

Both men burst out laughing as they stood for the singing of the national anthem. Again, Liv started soft and low, her sweet voice painting a picture of frightened men watching a battle from afar, aware that their fate probably hung in the balance. The joy at the end, when the flag still flew was unmistakable. As before the girls' game, there was a moment of silence. Steve brought up his hands to applaud, but Jud grabbed his wrist and whispered, "Hang on, son. She isn't done yet."

The tension was palpable, a thousand people anticipating what she would do next. Into the silence, Liv suddenly wailed, "GOD BELSS AMERICA! GO RAIDERS!" and, jumping high and doing a mid-air split, she started an Indian war cry that the entire audience, including Steve, took up. He could feel the bleachers shake and he swore he saw the speakers and the overhead lights tremble.

This time when she made her way through the crowd, the greetings and congratulations were so hearty, he was afraid she might be injured. One man, whom Steve had not yet met, lifted her high in the air and swung her around like a rag doll. Jud explained that the fellow was a special education student Olivia used to help in school, and he simply did not comprehend that Liv was no longer twelve years old.

Dryly, Steve said, "Sometimes I'm not so sure myself."

Jud guffawed, and told Steve, "I know what you mean."

With the anthem over, and the noise level back down to where she could make herself heard, May leaned over and said, "Go for it. She's ready and willing."

Steve's grin nearly split his face as Olivia sat beside him and took his hand.

When she asked, "What's the joke, guys?" Steve said, "I honestly can't tell you Liv. It might get Jud and me both in trouble."

"Oh."

The boys' game was much more exciting than the girls', with neither team ever leading by more than a three-point shot. The squads were evenly matched and well coached, and Steve could see that some of the players were natural leaders on the court. In the end, though, the Punxsutawney Raiders won by a score of 63-61.



When they arrived back at the house, Steve made a show of yawning and stretching and said, "It's been a long day, sweetheart. I think I'm ready for bed. How about you?"

Wide-eyed and still flushed with excitement, Liv said, "Oh, Steve, after singing in front of that crowd and watching that game, I'm too jazzed to sleep right now."

Steve pretended to think it over, and finally said, "I could think of some other things to do, babe, but to be honest, after that ride today and walking around campus for four hours I'm all done in."

Liv stuck her lower lip out in a pout and said, "Oh. I guess I'll read a while, then."

Suppressing a grin, Steve said, "Ok, whatever, but don't stay up too long, I need you in the bed to keep me warm."

She smiled and said, "I'll just get myself a cup of tea and a book from the library and come up there to read."

Steve nodded his agreement. "That'll work."

He made a great show of trudging up the steps, yawning all the way.

As soon as he was out of sight at the top of the stairs, he hustled to the bedroom to prepare. First, he ran a scalding bath. By the time they were ready for it, it would cool off and be just right. Then he went to the gym and got the roses, champagne, ice bucket, and glasses he had stashed there that morning. After setting the champagne in the ice bucket and placing it and the glasses on the table before the fire, he undid the bouquet of roses and used them to make a path from the top of the stairs to the bathroom. He placed a single rose with a spray of baby's breath and an occasional fern every few feet. He tore the petals off the last one and sprinkled them over the bath water. Finding Liv's silk pajamas, he hung them on the shower curtain rod to steam the wrinkles out while he went into the bedroom and started the fire and lit every candle he could find.

Taking several candles into the bathroom and arranging them in front of the mirror, he then turned to the tub to find the pajamas were now wrinkle- free. He carried them out to the bedroom and hung them on the doorknob in the hall, then he went back in the room, found a notepad and a pen in one of the nightstand drawers, and wrote a note which he folded in half and placed over the hanger with the pajamas. Next, he took the dried flower arrangement from its container by the chaise in the corner, and laying the flowers on the table, he carried the vase into the bathroom where he filled it with water and placed it with the champagne and the glasses beside the fire. Finally, he took the ring out of his pocket and wedged it behind the cushion of one of the fireside chairs. After one last look around to be sure everything was in place, Steve changed into his pajamas, stowed his dirty clothes in the hamper in the bathroom, and slipped through the master bath and into the gym where he could open the door a crack and watch Liv's progress down the hall.

He grinned as he peeked through the crack in the door and watched her climb slowly up the stairs, already engrossed in her book. She held the novel in one hand and sipped tea with the other. He knew the moment she caught the first rose in her peripheral vision because she froze in her tracks and slowly closed the book. She smiled, and tucking the book under her arm, she bent very carefully so as not to spill her tea, and picked up the rose. She retrieved another right in front of the gym door, and, when he judged she was well past him, Steve carefully and soundlessly opened the door and stood in the hall to watch. At the fourth rose, she decided she couldn't manage the book and the tea any more, and she left both of them on the floor to the side of the hall. He saw her retrieve five more roses before he ducked back into the gym, sprinted silently through the master bath, and dove into bed.

He heard Liv giggle as she read aloud the note on her pajamas. "Put these on so I can watch you take them off later."

Steve rolled over and pretended to be asleep. He heard her gasp upon entering the candlelit room, and when he strained to listen he heard the sound of silk sliding over her skin as she changed. After a moment of silence, he felt her slight weight settle on the bed, and she muttered, "Poor baby, I guess you were even more tired than you thought. I guess you can watch me undress in the morning."

He rolled over and opened his eyes to see her holding the rose bouquet in both hands, eyes closed, her nose buried in the fragrant blossoms. Her curls were loose and wild, with one hanging down right between her eyes, the end of it resting on the bridge of her nose. Steve grinned and couldn't resist tugging gently on the wayward lock as he teased:

There was a little girl,

And she had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very, very good,

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

When Liv opened her eyes, the green silk pajamas positively made them glow.

"So," she purred, "Do you want me to be good…or bad…tonight?"

A slow smile spread across Steve's face as he replied, "Maybe a little of both."

He stood up beside the bed and offered Liv his hand, which she accepted graciously. He led her to the fireside chairs, and, taking the roses from her, placed them in the waiting vase. Then he sat her in a chair, poured some champagne, and made a toast.

"To little girls, good and bad, who grow up to be extraordinary women."

Olivia blushed and said modestly, "Oh, Steve."

He smiled, looped his arm around hers, and said seductively, "Oh, Liv."

They sipped their champagne with their arms intertwined.

Now Steve unwound their arms, placed his glass back on the table, took Liv's glass and set it beside his, and kissed her deeply. He was pleased to leave her breathless, knowing that he had profoundly affected her. Yoga wasn't helping her now.

He went down on one knee before her, and heard her gasp as he reached a hand back by her hip. He wrapped his other arm around her and kissed her again as he drew the ring out of the depths of the chair. As they broke the kiss, he presented her for the second time with the ring he'd had made just for her, a single diamond set between two swirls of white gold lined with sapphires and pearls.

This time, she didn't make a sound.

"Olivia Margaret Regis, your fears were misplaced. You brought me here to learn your secrets thinking that they might drive me away, but everything I have learned about you has made me love you more. I am honored by your wish to be completely open with me, and I have found that you are honest and forthright, a steadfast friend. You tolerate people's differences and forgive their faults, but you do not accept hypocrisy, neither from your oldest friends nor even from yourself. Seeing you here and learning about your past has shown me that you have a pure, kind, loyal, and loving heart. I would make it mine, if I may. Will you marry me?"

He took her left hand in his right and slipped the ring on it.

She dropped to her knees before him, tears sliding down her freckled cheeks, and said, "Oh, yes. Oh, my God, yes."

Their next kiss was so tender and sweet, it almost had the innocence of a first-date kiss; loving and yearning and not quite sure what came next. What did come next was a wave of passion that nearly undid them both on the spot. Steve buried his fingers in Olivia's hair, tilted her head back, and devoured her sweet, red lips. While she let him ravish her mouth, Olivia's nimble fingers began to unbutton Steve's shirt. Though his hands were larger, they were no less agile, and before she knew it, without breaking the kiss, Steve had loosed her hair and halfway unbuttoned the top to her pajamas. She gasped as his big hands brushed the sensitive skin of her abdomen while trying to undo yet another button. Then she drew back and stilled his busy digits by covering them with her own small hands.

"I thought you wanted to watch me do that," she panted.

"I changed my mind," Steve growled.

"Oh no you don't," she giggled. "You'll get your wish soon enough, but first let me take care of you, baby."

She took Steve's hand and encouraged him to his feet. It didn't take much encouraging. He stood before her panting, both of them bathed in the golden light of the fire and a multitude of candles, and he reached for the beautiful, round, freckled breast he could see just barely peeking out of the half-open pajama top.

She playfully batted his hand away, saying, "Don't you dare."

Steve fisted his hand, fingers burning to touch her body, and let it fall to his side.

"Very good," she whispered. "Now, don't move a muscle, and don't make a sound, or I will have to punish you."

Steve did his level best to comply with her instructions, but she didn't make it easy. She began by torturing him with kisses. As long as he stood erect, she wasn't tall enough to reach his mouth, but that didn't stop her from driving him wild. She began at his chin, her tongue playing with the cleft, and when she giggled and said, "Your stubble tickles," it was all he could do not to sweep her up in his arms, carry her to the bed, and take her then and there.

His eyes slid closed as he tried to anticipate what was to come.

Olivia moved lower, showering attention on Steve's neck, his Adam's apple, and the notch where his collarbones met. Then she followed the line of his collarbones out to his shoulders, and while she ministered to the one that had been broken during the shooting, she said, "I can actually feel the callous where the bones have knitted." The moist warmth of her breath sent shivers chasing chills across his skin.

After lining his breastbone with featherlight kisses, Liv then worked her way across his chest and back, attacking it not only with kisses, but occasional nips and hickeys. She studiously avoided Steve's sensitive, pebble hard nipples, telling him in a clearly threatening tone, "In case you're wondering, babe, I'm saving them for later."

As she worked her way down his midline, Liv's delicate hands came up to tease his ribs and back. She'd knead the muscles gently, and then skim her hands lightly across his skin. When she reached his navel, it was almost his undoing. First, she gently placed tiny kisses all around it, taunting and teasing as she went. Then, when Steve thought he could bear no more of this delicate treatment, she suddenly kissed it as she would his mouth. Her probing tongue slipped deep inside his middle and found the sensitive nerve endings there, and, in reaction, his body began to move of its own volition, causing him to literally dance in place. Without warning, she sunk her teeth into the edge of the aperture and hissed through clenched teeth, "I said don't move." It was all Steve could do not to cry out.

She teased his belly with kisses, working ever lower until she came to the waistband of his pajama pants. Close to his straining erection, she purred, "Hmmmmmmmm. There seems to be something in the way."

Steve trembled at the vibration of her voice so close to his genitals and sighed, knowing his arousal would soon be free of its soft, flannel prison. Surprisingly, he was delighted to be disappointed when, instead of removing his clothes, Olivia began to knead the muscles of his posterior and the backs of his thighs. As her hands worked their way down to the sensitive backs of his knees, she began kissing him through the fabric, teasing just the sensitive head of his penis. Never before had he been so turned on without coming. As she began to suck at the peak of the tent that was his pants, he thought his knees would buckle, but somehow he stayed on his feet.

Just when he thought he would explode in a million pieces, Olivia surged to her feet and threw herself upon him. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his arms, she fully restrained him. All Steve could do at first was stand there and let her kiss him witless. Slowly, his beleaguered brain started sorting through the sensations that were coursing through his body. The hands kneading the muscles at the back of his neck made the back of his head and his shoulders tingle. The feeling of silk against his bare chest gave him chills. When he finally realized he had tasted salt in Olivia's initial kiss, he couldn't figure where it had come from, until he realized his pajama pants must have been soaked through with precum.

His back was aching with the strain of supporting all her weight when Liv finally unwound her legs and slid down his front. For a moment they both stood motionless, then Steve heard the gentle swish of silk as she moved behind him. His eyes flew open and he gasped as, without warning, she stripped him of both his shirt and pants in a matter of seconds.

She circled around in front of him again, and watched with amusement and careful scrutiny, as he stood there, bathed in the firelight, panting, and trembling, and waited for her next move. As her eyes met his, one side of her mouth quirked up in a delightfully evil smile, and she finished unbuttoning her top.

"Soon, babe, real soon," she promised in a throaty whisper.

The roaming had that had earlier sought her breast reached out with a will of its own, but when Olivia's eyes traveled to the offending appendage, Steve forced it back to its proper place at his side.

"Just for that, I think you'll wait a little longer."

Steve suppressed a groan, knowing if he made a sound, she would punish him more. To this point, her discipline had been delightful, but his nerves were stretched taught with the need for release, and while he wouldn't mind further correction, it could wait until his desire was quenched. He waited, every nerve on edge, as she gazed at him, clearly considering what she should do next. He was hoping she'd strip and finish him off, but for the second time, he was pleased when she disappointed him.

Olivia moved to stand close to him, so close he could feel the warmth of her body, and leaned her face close to his chest. "I almost forgot about these," she muttered. Her words never made it to his passion-drunk brain. When she puckered her lips into a little round "o", Steve thought she was going to start kissing him again. He was caught completely off guard when she turned her head and blew a stream of cool air across his aching nipple.

He groaned at the sensations ricocheting through his body, and yelped when her small, sharp teeth latched firmly onto the throbbing bud on his chest. He felt tremors move through him as Olivia reminded him without ever relieving the pressure of her bite, "I said don't make a sound."

His eyes closed again, his hands tightened to fists at his sides, and his toes curled, but he fell silent. Olivia chuckled against his chest as he tried desperately to hold his breath. Her teeth hadn't released him yet, and every breath caused her bite to tug at the already battered nub. It wasn't particularly painful, but the feelings that bloomed from the spot with every exhalation were almost more than he could take. Liv held on for several minutes as Steve first tried taking slow, deep breaths. Then, finding that didn't work, he attempted to pant like a dog. When that only served to send the electricity along his frayed nerves faster, he finally settled on slow, shallow breaths. He was barely getting enough air, but it made the stimulation bearable.

Just as he began to settle into the experience, Liv changed tactics and started sucking. He could feel her tongue slide around the aureole and across the pebbly surface of the nipple itself as she sucked it hard. She moved back and forth between the twin buds, never staying on one long enough to allow Steve to adjust to what she was doing. Finally, he was able to get a full breath, and the surge of oxygen made him stagger against her.

"Easy, babe, sit a minute."

She backed him into one of the velvet-upholstered chairs by the fire and gently pushed him down, never leaving off what she was doing. The fabric of the cushion was soft against his bare bottom and warm from being so near the fire, and as Olivia slid into his lap the hot silk of her pajamas made him beg.

"Now, Liv. I need it now. Please."

He thought his heart would break when she did not undress and straddle him on the spot. Yet again, she gave him a most pleasant surprise, even better than what he had expected.

Sliding off his lap, she dropped to her knees before him. Taking his hands, she guided them behind and beneath him until he was sitting on them. Then she looked up at him and said, "Open your eyes, Steve."

He did as he was told, barely aware that they had been closed all this time.

She stepped back and slowly, sensuously, stripped for him. He could hear the rustle of silk as the top slid off her shoulders. She moved close, almost close enough for him to kiss her breasts. Then she stepped away again. She slid the pajama bottoms partway down, then, as if a better idea occurred to her, she pulled them back up, and turned. Sliding them down again, she mooned him and said over her shoulder, "You want to get a hold of this, don't you?"

He licked his lips and nodded. Really, it didn't matter what she let him have. He just wanted to touch her. She covered her rear. Turning to face him one more time, she pulled the bottoms down just far enough to let him peek at the auburn hair between her legs before she turned her back on him one last time and shucked the pajama pants completely.

Then she was at his feet again, chin on his knees, saying, "Watch, but don't touch." She reached back under him and held his hands beneath his butt. Her touch back there made him squirm. "I want to do this for you, right now. I can do this, but not if you try to control what happens. Do you understand?"

He gulped at the raw passion in her eyes and nodded. Sliding forward until he sat at the edge of the chair, he opened his legs to give her more room.

She began gently, licking and teasing his penis with her agile tongue. She worked her way around the sides and over the top before she attended to the sensitive underside. Then she moved to his testicles, washing them thoroughly. She sucked first one, then the other into her mouth and clamped down gently. It was a startling sensation, not painful, but sharp and hot, sending sparks throughout his body.

Finally, she went to the head of his penis. She licked the drop of precum from its straining tip, and teased the sensitive slit with her tongue. She blew a warm breath over it, and Steve raised his hips. She brought her hands up, and pushed him back down to the seat.

Looking up, she said, "I've never done this before. You have to let me take my time."

"It's wonderful, Liv," he gasped, "but I can't last much longer."

She nodded. "I understand, but I need you to be still and let me do this."

"I-I'll try."

Slowly, she took him in her mouth. Bit by bit, she inched her way down on him, tonguing and teasing and sucking as she went. Soon, he was deep in her throat. Suddenly, her whole body convulsed as she gagged on the intruder and she drew back slightly. The unexpected constriction on his manhood coupled with the friction of her pulling away almost made Steve fly apart on the spot.

He went rigid, knotted his hands in the cushion beneath him, and held his breath a moment. She was a small woman, and he was a large man. Everything was built to proportion, and he knew when she started it would be a tight fit. He was determined to let Liv do this in her own good time.

She started taking him into her throat again, and finally, her face was nestled deeply in the dark curls of his groin. A tremble coursed through Steve's body when she started working her throat around him. The moist heat, and rhythmic constrictions soon had him teetering on the precipice. She slid back a fraction, and moved down again, and it was all over.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! God, Liv. Oh, God." At first, it was barely a whisper, so intense was the initial release, but as he continued to ride the waves of his orgasm, he found his voice and clearly showed his appreciation.

"Oh, Liv! Yes, baby! Yes! God, that's good! Yes! Oh, yes!"

His body pumped spurt after spurt of hot cum down her throat, and still he came. The sensations became increasingly intense, and Steve's shouts were now inarticulate. Liv sucked and worked at his manhood, taking everything she could get out of it, and finally, a last mind-shattering surge of sensation exploded through his system.

"Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Finally, Steve sat silent and motionless in the burgundy velvet chair, and let Olivia clean him with her tongue. When she finished, she climbed into his lap and wiped his sweat-soaked hair away from his face. Steve spent the last of his energy wrapping his arms around her. She kissed him deeply, and he let her take what she wanted. For the second time that night, he tasted his own sex in her kiss. The flavor was remarkable, the sweetness of Liv mingled with his own salty tang.

He tried to murmur his thanks, to tell her how wonderful it had been, but he was spent. She just hushed him and pulled his head down to rest on her breasts. He soon fell into a deep sleep.



When Steve awoke, he was on the floor, resting on the bearskin rug before the fire, a pillow beneath his head, and a soft chenille throw over top him. The fire was still roaring and the candles still burned brightly, so he guessed he hadn't been sleeping long. Surprisingly, he felt quite refreshed. He looked round to find Liv, curled up in one of the nearby chairs, sipping champagne and alternately admiring her ring and watching him. She wore his flannel pajama top, without the bottoms, and with her feet drawn up under her, it covered her completely.

As he became more alert, they locked eyes and stared at one another for a long moment, until finally, Liv said, "Well?"

Steve sat up, wrapping himself in the blanket, and said, "That was amazing! I've never felt anything like it." Blushing slightly, he added, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."

After a thoughtful pause, he said, "To be honest, I never would have expected it of you, Liv. You're great in bed, but…"

When he faltered for words, she finished for him. "…with my relative inexperience, you didn't think I had it in me?"

Sheepishly, he nodded. "Please don't be offended, but yeah." Again, he fell silent for a moment. Finally, he asked, "Why'd you do it?"

Olivia considered her answer for a long while. Finally, she said, "To show you I could. I knew if I did it right, you would enjoy it. I wanted to see if I could make you fall apart. I wanted to give you something special."

She blushed, and after a while continued. "I thought about doing this for a long, long time, Steve." Turning redder, she admitted, "I even…read about it…on the internet. I finally decided to do it tonight, because…I didn't want you to think you'd made a mistake. I…was afraid if I…disappointed you…you might change your mind. I know I'm pretty naive when it comes to sex, and I'm sure my gigglefits really irritate you sometimes. I wanted you to know that, if you show me what you like, I'm willing to learn to please you. I…I wanted you to know that I can be good at sex, for you…because I love you."

Steve's jaw dropped, and he sat in silence for several moments. He struggled to wrap his brain around the concept that this bright, funny, vivacious, talented woman could still confuse sex with love. More importantly, he could not believe that she didn't think she had enough to offer already. Now he understood why she had worked up the nerve to go to that seminar weeks ago, and why she had been so upset the night he panicked over the blindfold.

"Olivia, come here," he commanded in a tone that would brook no argument.

She complied immediately, and came to stand beside him. He turned to face the fire, took her arm, and guided her in front of him. Tugging gently, he encouraged her to join him on the floor. Spreading his legs, he sat her between them, and wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close to him. She leaned into his embrace and laid her head on his chest. They sat for a long time watching the fire before he spoke again.

"You still there?" he asked.

"Mmmm-hmmm."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I want to make sure you hear every word I say."

"I'm listening."

"On Thanksgiving Day, when I went to shower before you came over, I made myself take a good, long look at my injuries. It was a horrible experience. First, I had to absorb just how ugly my scars were. I had thought about that several times before, and it made me uncomfortable, but to stand in front of the mirror and really look…"

His throat constricted at the memory, but he swallowed, took a deep breath, and pushed passed it. He was telling this story to comfort Olivia. It would not do to fall apart on her now.

"Once I accepted the fact that I was terribly ugly, I immediately worried that no woman would ever…desire me again. Then it occurred to me that most of my injuries were…well…really close to other goings-on down there, and I was afraid I'd never be able to make love again."

"And when you finally did, you ended up with inept and inexperienced me. What a disappointment." In her voice, Steve heard a combination of sympathy, embarrassment, and shame.

"Oh, Liv, you've got it so wrong. When I said I was afraid no woman would want me and that I couldn't make love, I meant I was afraid *you* wouldn't want me and that I couldn't make love to *you*. Making love by itself wasn't all that important. I already knew how much I wanted you, baby, and that has never, ever changed. I have not had a moment's doubt that you are the one I want."

"Steve, it's ok. I know I'm nothing special, but I'm willing to learn…anything you want. I want to make you happy." Steve could tell from the tension in her body and the tremor in her voice that she was dangerously close to tears. He rocked her and hushed her and pressed featherlight kisses against her temple.

"Please just listen, Liv. You're so wrong, and I want to make you understand. Our first night together, Liv, when you touched me, and…inventoried the marks and scars on my body, you told me nothing is ugly when seen through the eyes of love. When you held me, when you weren't afraid to hold me against you, with nothing between you and the horrible mess life has made of my body, everything I was afraid of just went away."

"Steve…"

"Let me finish, sweetheart," he interrupted gently. "Sex with you is always good, Liv, often incredible, and, like tonight, occasionally mind- blowing; but, without your love, it's still *just* sex, and that's not enough for me. What you did for me tonight was out of this world, darling. It was the best sexual experience I have ever had, but I wouldn't want it at all if I didn't know you loved me."

"I really do, you know."

"Oh, my God, yes, Liv. And that's what I've been so clumsily trying to tell you." Steve felt tears sting his eyes.

"You are brilliant and funny and talented and kind and generous, and for some reason I still can't figure out, you chose to love *me*. The first time you came to visit me at the precinct, after you came back from Washington, Cheryl told me that you loved me like it's what God made you to do, and I think she's right, Liv. Until I met you, I never would have believed that one person could love another so much. I never would have believed that one woman could love *me* so much."

Liv had shifted position in Steve's lap and had her ear pressed against his chest. He knew now that she was feeling better, because he could feel the reassuring rhythm of her fingers tapping along with his heartbeat against his ribs.

"I am happy and very flattered that you want so much to please me in bed," Steve said. "Or on the floor, or in the hot tub, or on the corner table at Casey's Diner if it pleases you," he amended his statement and was pleased to hear her giggle. "But if I had to choose, I'd take you and everything else you could give me and be celibate the rest of my life, before I settled for *just* sex with anyone else in the world. No one has ever made me feel so loved, Olivia, and *that* is the feeling I will take away from this and every other time we make love. Do you understand?"

She turned to face him, moving close, and straddling his hips with her legs. Steve felt an all-too-familiar twitch in his groin, but taking a deep breath, he suppressed it knowing that now was not the time. She hooked her index finger under his chin and pulled his face close for a sweet, gentle kiss. Pulling back, she stared deep into his eyes, smiled, and nodded.

"You said I'm good enough."

"I said considerably more than that, Liv."

"I know, Steve, but all my life, that's all I ever needed to hear. Thank you."

He pulled her close and held her as she wept against his chest, shedding tears of joy and relief, as she came to terms with the fact that he was giving her everything she had ever wanted.



Now it was Steve's turn to watch Liv in her sleep. After making his chest slick with happy tears, she had promptly dozed off. Steve was getting stiff from having slept on the floor, so he gently laid her down on the rug before the fire and covered her with the throw that he'd found over himself earlier in the night. Then he went in search of his discarded pajama pants. Finding them an unpleasant mess, he opted instead for his robe and a blanket over his lap.

He sat there watching Liv sleep, thinking about all that had brought them to this point, and he was amazed that they had ever found each other. So many things had to happen to bring them together. If Ted hadn't gone insane, if he hadn't attacked her and Keith, if Keith hadn't turned away from her, if she hadn't survived her suicide attempts, if her friends and Ted hadn't continued trying to track her down, if she hadn't kept moving to avoid them, if she hadn't come to CG, if she hadn't gotten sick at the fundraiser, if she hadn't stayed late that evening to talk to Drs. Macalvie and Johnson about that little girl, if he hadn't gotten shot, if she hadn't been there when they brought him in, if that damned pink jeep hadn't refused to start, if his dad and Jesse hadn't made him go back to her when she'd stopped him from proposing, if any link in the chain were broken, would he be here now, watching her sleep? Maybe it went further. What if her grandfather hadn't beaten her, or if her family hadn't died? What if they had been middle class instead of dirt poor? What if her father hadn't been a religious man? Would she have had the strength to survive her experiences with Ted and Keith? Would she have had the courage--or in her mind, the faith--to love a cop? Coincidence couldn't explain so many factors coming together.

Somewhere in the night, he found himself sharing Liv's belief that God had a plan for the two of them.

He smiled as he heard her begin to snore softly. A while ago, he'd noticed that was always a sure sign of her coming around. She'd be awake again in a few minutes. He wondered what she'd want to do. Part of him still felt a little selfish that he had let her do all the work in their lovemaking. True she had wanted to do it, but still, after she had rocked his world, he had simply fallen asleep without even trying to pleasure her. He was sure she realized how much she had taken out of him, but that did little to soothe his conscience.

If she wanted to rest, he would wait, but if she wanted to play…he felt a twitch, and knew he was ready for some more fun and games.

Under his watchful gaze, she yawned, stretched, and rolled over, still sleeping lightly. As she rolled, the blanket shifted to expose her left leg up to the hip, and the much-too-big pajama top slipped down to expose most of her perfect, freckled, left breast. As Steve studied the situation, considering what to do about it, green eyes popped open and studied him in return. She stretched again, arching her back with feline grace, and stood. Walking toward him slowly, she undid a button with every step, and when she stood in front of him, she shrugged the shirt off, letting it pool in a puddle of flannel on the floor behind her. Without even a hint of the old self-consciousness and insecurity she'd always had before, she ran her hands up and down her naked body and asked, "Is this what you want?"

Steve sighed deeply, placed his hands about her slender waist, pulled her close, kissed her navel as she had done to him earlier, and finally, when he had her gasping from the sensations, said in passion-hoarse voice, "If you're up to it."

She took his hands and gently tugged him to his feet. She untied the belt to his robe and pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms until he stood before her naked. For a moment, he felt a flash of shame as he again realized how horrible his battered body looked alongside her glorious beauty. Then, as only she could, Olivia put him at ease.

Briefly touching some of his old wounds, skimming her hands and lips lightly over his marked flesh as if trying to memorize the contours, she breathed, "I really do love every part of you. Never forget that."

Then she took his hand and led him to the bed.



Winter nights are long up north, and it was still dark when Steve and Liv woke hours later, wrapped in each other's arms. The fire had died down, and they had forgotten to turn on the electric blanket. The room was cold, and, as a result, they both were a little stiff from their nocturnal exertions. Liv looked at the clock, and seeing that it was nearing six, suggested that it was too late to roll over and go back to sleep.

"Why?" Steve nearly whined. "We don't have to be anywhere."

"Maybe not, but I'm much too excited to sleep anymore. I'm going to call Jud and May and tell them we're engaged. Then I'm calling Beechie and Lou, and all the other Cloud Nine girls, and Meyer, and Cecil Bonner in Baltimore, and some of my friends in Chicago, and I have to contact Pastor Brennan, and find a seamstress, and…"

Steve stopped her mouth with a passionate kiss, which she returned enthusiastically before slipping out of bed and wandering to the closet to lay out clothes for the two of them.

"…I have to call Casey and Irene to cater the reception, and rent the church social hall, and…"

Steve sighed, knowing there was no stopping her now. He walked over to where she stood, put his arms around her, and said, "Well, let's get washed up. Then you can make your calls. By the time you're finished, Dad'll be up, and I can call him."

"Steve, do you think if you called all the people you wanted to invite today, and if I handled the airfare, we could get married on Valentine's Day? I want the wedding to be here, in my church, and it would just be too cool to have a Valentine's Day wedding."

Steve let the thought roll around in his head a moment. He ticked off his guests as he spoke their names, "Dad, Jesse and Susan, Amanda and the boys, Jack and a date, Carol, Uncle Stacey, Aunt Dora, Dolores, Norman, and Cheryl. Aunt Dora owns a travel agency, she could organize all the flights, think you could find accommodations for fourteen people?"

Olivia looked at him in consternation. "That's all? I could put them up here at the house."

Steve shrugged, and said, "There are other people I would invite if we had more time, just to be polite, but those fourteen people are the ones I wouldn't think of leaving out. If all of them can make it, we'll do it on Valentine's Day."

Olivia turned in his embrace and pulled his head down for a kiss. "Thank you. Do you know how much I love you?"

He tried one last ploy to get her back into bed. "Mmmm. Why don't you show me?"

"Ok. Later."

Steve groaned and followed her to the bathroom.

He bumped into her beautiful backside as she stopped short in the doorway. The candles had burned down low in the bathroom, but the light reflected in the mirror gave a soft glow to the room.

"Oh, Steve. How romantic!"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "It's probably cold by now."

"Maybe not," she said, stepping over to the tub and dipping the toes of one foot in. "The tub is heated, babe, and it feels pretty good." As she drew a foot out, a rose petal clung to it and mesmerized Steve.

"Go get the champagne, Steve."

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

He came back scant moments later to find her waiting for him in the bath. Though the ice had melted, the champagne was still cold, and when he joined Liv in the tub, he found the water was still wonderfully warm. Before long, they were again necking like teenagers.



When they came out of the bathroom, both dressed in robes and finally fully satiated, at least for the time being, the sun was just rising in the east. Olivia went over to the French doors and stepped barefoot out onto the balcony, pulling Steve along with her. They stood shivering for several minutes as they watched the sun rise over the treetops, Steve with his arms around Liv, and Liv resting her head against his chest, both of them listening to the morning chorus of winter birds in the woods.

"It's cold out here, sweetie."

"Just a little longer, babe."

Suddenly, as if all receiving the order from Mother Nature simultaneously, a mass of tiny black bodies shot up from the treetops and soared toward the house. As they passed overhead, Olivia craned her neck to watch them as far as they would go. Steve smiled as he watched Olivia in her delight.

"Isn't that a glorious way to start the day?"

Steve heartily agreed, though it wasn't the birds that had enthralled him.

"Now," Olivia said, all business, "it's after seven. We need to start making some calls."

By ten o'clock, they had both dressed and Liv had finished most of her calls. The church and the social hall were reserved, the menu was planned, a seamstress had been hired, and the Pastor was engaged. She had promised all the women she would tell them all about how Steve had proposed when they got together for a hastily planned bridal shower later that week, and most of their husbands, brothers, and boyfriends had promised to help Steve's friends plan a helluva bachelor party when they got into town. For most of the calls, Steve joined the conversation on another extension, but when Liv called Keith at May's insistence, Steve discretely made himself scarce.

Wandering in the hall, he noticed the book and the teacup still sitting on the floor, and decided to take them downstairs. He wasn't sure where Liv had gotten the book, but figured the table in the library was as good a place as any to put it. Then he headed to the kitchen to empty the teacup and start some breakfast.

As he hunted in the pantry for some pancake mix, he felt cold air across his bare feet, and decided he would have to find the draft, go to Redmond's hardware store, and get the materials necessary to seal it before everybody came for the wedding. He knew Jesse never wore slippers, and CJ and Dion would want to emulate him. He came out of the pantry and set the pancake mix and a bottle of syrup on the center island. He knew how Liv loved fresh fruit at breakfast, and so he turned to the refrigerator to see what it might hold to go with pancakes. Withdrawing a basket of mixed black and red raspberries, he turned toward the sink to rinse them clean and a crashing blow landed on the back of his skull.