A Child's Eyes

Liz Gregg

Dan Williams stood next to his boss Steve McGarrett on the balcony of Steve's spacious Five-0 office. Steve had been bringing Dan up to date on the case they had just broke wide open, relating how he had found the young girl the thugs had kidnapped in order to swing the jury. McGarrett had reached the point in the tale where he had finally found the child. Dan noticed Steve's white-knuckled grip on the balcony railing and knew the rest of the narrative would be difficult for his no-nonsense boss.

"When I opened the door and saw her crouched on the floor my gut just started to burn. I mean the anger I felt..."

Voice shaking, Steve let the rest of those particular thoughts remain unspoken. Dan knew he'd just have to wait for what came next. It wasn't long.

"Danno, she cringed when she saw me. She was terrified. I had to swallow it all, pretend the rage didn't exist. I had to put her needs first. I wasn't sure if I could do it."

"Of course you could, Steve."

"It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. But when I picked her up, Danno, she was shaking like a leaf and she weighed next to nothing. It was like picking up a bag of groceries, even lighter, but oh, so much different. Even though she was shivering and stiff on the outside, I could feel that inside she was warm and alive. Her outward coldness was probably due to her fear and confusion more than anything else.

For a while after that she was pretty quiet. Limp, emotionless, exhausted. And that began to worry me even more."

"You don't mean she was--"

"No, no. Thank God. I got the call a little while ago. Her parents had her pediatrician perform a thorough examination. Physically, she's fine. Emotionally, that's another story."

"But she'll be okay, thanks to you, Steve. Time heals."

Steve abruptly turned, his eyes blazing and fixed on his friend, and for long moments Dan became the object of an intense scrutiny, something he had only experienced from McGarrett. He grew warmer by the second and silently squirmed while at the same time he somehow managed to remain motionless. Despite all the years spent together, it seemed that occasionally Dan had to earn the man's trust all over again. It used to make him nervous - what would happen if one day he didn't pass muster - but eventually he came to learn it was just part of the process Steve needed to go through to open up even just a little bit.

The tense features softened a bit. "I hope you're right."

In spite of Steve's measured response, Dan sensed the storm was not over. Steve turned and walked inside. Dan followed him. Obviously ill at ease, Steve stopped and stared straight ahead for a few moments. Sighing heavily, he turned toward the couch and when he reached it he sat, elbows on knees, and rested his head in the palms of his hands. Dan sat next to him.

"When we got the to car, she wouldn't let go of me. She clung to me like a frightened kitten. I motioned for Chin to drive, and then managed to get both of us in the back seat. She was shivering so I wiggled out of my jacket and wrapped it around her like a blanket." Steve sat up, letting his arms dangle between his legs. A shadow of a smile played on his features. "She was so small it went around her two or three times."

Then the smile disappeared. Steve leaned against the sofa, letting his head fall back, neck arched and eyes squeezed shut. His face was a mask of barely restrained agony. Dan guessed that the memories playing through his friend's mind were deeply troubling him. Steve was such a private man; he usually kept his pain and sadness closely guarded and strictly off-limits. But there were special times when even Steve needed comfort, and Dan suddenly knew this was one of those times. He let his hand fall on Steve's shoulder and squeezed gently.

Gradually Steve's face began to relax, and the expression of pain eased a bit. The older cop opened his eyes. Staring down at his hands, he continued.

"She began to cry. And it soon turned into wrenching sobs. Danno, the sound of it is something I'll never forget, because her weeping let loose everything inside her," Steve thumped his chest, "all her terror, all her fear. I tried to soothe her, nothing worked. I touched her cheek and her small hand grabbed two of my fingers and squeezed so hard it actually cut off the circulation. I didn't care - I would have cut them off myself if I thought it would help her. But it didn't help. Nothing did. She was inconsolable. I like kids, Danno. You know that. I'm usually pretty comfortable around them. But this was way out of my league.

"Finally she fell asleep. As I held her in my arms I thanked God she could have a few moments of peace before we reached the courtroom. I thought that at least I provided her enough security that she could rest."

Dan squeezed the broad shoulder again, then freed his grip. "That's great, Steve. You did help!"

"No, Danno. No. It was a false hope. When the car stop she woke immediately. She looked up at me and started to scream. She didn't remember who I was and didn't believe I wasn't another kidnapper. I explained to her that I was taking her to her parents. I managed to calm her down, but in her eyes I saw the fear. The distrust. Along with the realization that she didn't have any choice. Just as it had been with her abductors, she had to do what a stranger told her to do."

Steve rose suddenly, and strode to his desk. He pounded his fist against the solid wood.

"Damn them! Damn these men, these evil monsters. Destroying the trust and innocence of a child to fulfill their greed. Shattering the life of a child just to achieve their warped goals. She's been changed forever, Danno. I saw that quite clearly in her eyes."

Dan was at his side immediately. "Yeah, she's been through hell. But you came through for her, Steve. You found her. You protected and comforted her. You made a promise to her and you kept it. She's safe and home with her parents now. She'll remember you, Steve, and remember you did what you promised."

Steve turned his head and glared at him. For a second Dan thought he might become the sole recipient of all the rage and frustration that was tearing his boss apart right in front of his own eyes. It was at that exact moment that Dan Williams made a vow; Steve needed help, and Danny would provide it if it was the last thing he did on this earth. So he took a deep breath and pressed on.

"Give her some credit, Steve! Kids are tough. They're resilient, and when they get hurt they bounce back, much faster than we can. Her parents will help her. She'll lick her wounds for a couple of days, but she'll fight and come through even stronger than she was before. It's a damn shame it had to happen to her so young, but it's over and she survived, and she will get through it, Steve. Just like we do. Just like you will."

Their gazes remained locked. Dan held his breath, waiting to see whether or not he'd get his head snapped off. The first sign of victory was the sparkle that appeared in Steve's eyes. Then his boss grabbed Dan's arm and squeezed it hard.

"Where was I when you acquired all this wisdom?"

"I dunno. In a meeting with the Governor?"

Steve's eyes crinkled and his entire face brightened when he laughed. Relieved that at least some of Steve's tension was released, Dan laughed with him.

"And now you're studying to become a smart ass, is that right?"

"Right now I'm too hungry to study anything. You wanna go see if we can find something to eat?"

"Yeah. Good idea. And Danno?"

"Yeah, Steve?"

"Thanks."

Feeling himself blush, Dan looked away and nodded. "Anytime, Steve."

His friend lightly clapped Dan's back as they walked out of the office and headed out into the warm Hawaiian night.

The End